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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why does it take me so long to climax?      Home login  
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 misslady84
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 26
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why does it take me so long to climax?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
stratoman1 ....what a brilliantly encouraging response!

That just put things in a completely new light. Yes, I am very attracted to him, but I think maybe I have been looking at it as a 'task' to complete. A rewarding at the end, but never-the-less still a task (not all tasks are bad). It should not all be about HAVING an orgasm, but just about enjoying it.

I must stop anticipating the destination and enjoy the journey. Thanks!
 ohnonothimagain
Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 27
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:40:44 PM
It sounds to me like:
1. maybe he isn't doing it right.
or
2. you can't relax enough
or
3. combination of both

Maybe it 'is' the case that he is pushing all the right buttons for an hour before you actually climax but aren't you exhausted by then and climbing the walls? I think maybe you are worrying about how long it is taking instead of concentrating on what he is doing to you. You have to trust him completely when he says he likes doing it and doesn't mind how long it takes.

Personally speaking if things aren't getting there after 15-20 mins then I will cool things off a bit and try to lighten the atmosphere to help my partner relax before trying again.

I love the way you refer to it as a 'process'. People are complicated and there's no 'right' way to ultimate success every single time when it comes to sex.
 Ear to hear
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 28
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:44:41 PM
I know the longer the foreplay the faster she climaxes...not that I mind oral either but the preparations the most important...and if your comfy and are kissing touching and getting touched in the right places...prob put ur mind at ease...relax and enjoy but foreplays the ticket!...candles...music..the whole package!
 misslady84
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 29
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why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 5:05:10 PM
Just wanted to update and say thanks for the help. I tried to relax much more and just enjoy the feeling...whether I got there or not...and it didn't take nearly as long. I think the more I relax the faster it will happen every time! :) Thanks!! :)
 tony1512
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 30
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 5:44:16 PM
I'd wear it like a bed time respirator.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 31
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:23:53 PM
1) You can use oral sex as foreplay, if you come more easily under other circumstances.

2) You are clearly putting a fair bit of pressure on yourself to come as quickly as possible. That sort of pressure is exactly the sort of thing that can delay your orgasm. Just relax and have fun! It sounds like he does.
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 32
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:01:24 PM
Perhaps it is you....maybe you need to ocncentrate a bit more on what is being done, and find more enjoyment out of it. You seems a bit "hung up" on "taking so long"...which, in turn, raises the stress level...thereby taking longer to get over that hump to get you heading for a climax.
Relax a bit, stop worrying about "how long" it takes....perhaps a bit more action while the oral is going on....
Perhaps go the "short route" for the first, then the longer one with oral?
Sex is supposed to be fun for both of you....so let him know you ARE enjoying it.
 charlhey
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 33
why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:02:16 PM
tl&dr;

More foreplay before... oral foreplay. Work up to it. A bit of making out and heavy petting will make it easier for you to have an orgasm.

His technique... tell him to try different things. A finger or two in your vagina using the 'come here' motion should help things.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 34
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why does it take me so long to climax?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:46:05 PM
Hopefully he's sincere and maybe you should just enjoy the moment rather you come or not!
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