| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 4:42:28 PM | Nope, I would never do that. We did have a joint account when I was married, but then we each had our own bank accounts, our own credit cards, got our own vehicle loans in our own names. We would throw cash into the joint accout for whatever, mortgage, vehicle payments etc. But other than that we kept things fairly separate. That being said, we both made about the same income so there wasn't really an imbalance.
Keep it simple.
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 4:52:26 PM | Never.
Marry them before mixing funds, because there is no legal relief for unmarried couples that rip each other off. Judges just don't have time to untangle comingled funds, and figure out who owes what to whom.
There is plenty of risk without losing all the savings as well. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 5:01:18 PM | No I would not.. now I think opening a joint account for a couple who is engaged to be married is perfectly alright but I would keep a separate account till the marriage..
That is simply just wisdom..
And.. in some states living with someone and sharing a bank account with them is a defintion of comonlaw marriage.
So it is important to keep assets separate.. to avoid confusion and bad feelings.. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 6:33:04 PM | | Hell no!!! Should I say hell no again?? It wouldn't matter if I were married or dating, I'm not about to put ALL into a joint checking account. She learned a hard lesson. Hopefully she kicked his butt to the curbside, unfortunately, I doubt if she has any legal recourse. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:17:50 PM | A marriage certificate is, when all is said and done little more than a piece of paper. The law frequently treats co-habitants as having a de-facto marriage. Why should a piece of paper, for the benefit of others effectively, influence your decision about accounts?
Relationships are built and lost on trust, and someone has to be willing to trust and extend their hand first. People grow as human beings because of the trust and responsibility that is extended to them. When I was old fashioned, I used to believe a relationship was about full open sharing with each other and no holds barred, this is what the real deal should be like. Because people turn out to be less than who they could have chosen to be, because some unfortunates cannot cope with the responsibility that goes hand in hand with love and trust - it does not make us dumb. Ripped off yes - dumb no.
I would hope that if I loved again, my man would be proud to have me manage the finances responsibly - I would like to feel that my man could manage the same in return - or he just wouldn't be in the picture at all......
Keeping things "private/undisclosed" well it's a wall and a "keep out" sign - it has no place where you expect things to be open, long term and for keeps.
I would hope OP, you find yourself less judgemental of others misfortune - some of us are slow to realise just how much the world has changed irretrievably for the worse in terms of human relationships. There was a time when this level of trust - was actually the norm....yes it is hard to believe today. As beautiful souls remind me from time to time - not all men are bad, and not all should be tarred with the same brush.
It is actually possible, this lady went home to find a second hand car in the drive way or a wedding ring on offer - the unexpected - doesn't always mean the worst possible scenario. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:24:03 PM | SAD, SAD, SAD...
Sad for this woman who could have been blindolded by her love.
Sad for many of you, people, who can call that "being dumb".
Sad for me for thinking - may be this woman just made up a scene at the bank - let's say, because she was way behind on her credit card payment?
Sad because that is the reality of the world.
Do not trust anyone and everyone will have to trust you.
I'd say - share while you can. Hopefully you share only what you can share. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:30:45 PM | Not only would I not trust my checking account to a boyfriend, but I'd have a hard time trusting it to a husband. My last husband did a lot of damage to me in regards to both finances and trust, mainly by messing with my money, even though we always had separate accounts.
Next time (if there is one), there will be mine, his, and ours. With direct deposit and automatic bill payment, we won't even have to do much more than check that everything's working once a month. It's so simple that it makes me wonder why I never just did that before.
There is such a thin line between trust and naiveté. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:32:00 PM | I would never put a BF on my account. My parents even had their own seperate accounts. My mom had hers ,my dad had his, and they had theirs! I never understood it as a kid but my mom told me. A wise woman will always keep a nest egg just in case her husband becomes a rooster and finds another hen !  But my dad had his own account also. I wonder what he was thinking? | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:35:22 PM | Who says that by being married that your husband won't do the same???
My ex was sending money to the UK. Kept the family money...and B4 he
added my name on the account he withdrew the american account down to 800 dollars
taken out 1500 dollars and transferred it to his personal Abbey Bank in England. I accessed those records because he finally added my name on, therefore, the bank disclosed what he removed and transferred a week before to England.
Married doesn't mean that Our property is "shared assets" and that you can't get SCREWED!!!
Either you have an honest partner or a scumbucket  | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:39:47 PM | I think it depends on what two people decide they are comfortable with. If the person one is with, proves trustworthy, then there really should not be a problem sharing an account. I've done that one time and there was never a problem. I just kept a separate check book with what I deposited and wrote checks for. So really, I was still using my own money. Not sure what he did, but, again, we never had a problem for two years with the account.
Other then that, that is the only time I've done that and now, my life is different. I am self employed with two accounts, and that is the system that I've been used to working with for many years now. So now, if I were to join accounts ever again with someone, it would have to be completely separate from my business and personal account, because that would have to stay the same and we would have to do a joint account for shared expenses.
Yes, I would join with someone in an account, but only after they've proven themselves financially savvy and as a trustworthy person. If they don’t prove that first, no way would I. Just keep it all separate would be much better. Suze Orman gave the advice of comparing one anothers credit score before getting married and I think that is a great idea to do before ever sharing a checking account with someone, even if your not getting married. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 12:21:34 AM | | Not in a billion years. If he was put on the account, it was a joint account. The sad part of it is that she can't sic the law on him. Legally he owned the money in the account as much as she did, so he was free to take it all out. Some people insist on learning the hard way. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 12:33:28 AM | sure i would just as soon as I open my 4 gun safes and open the back door to my house and leave my car unlocked WHAT ................ARE YOU NUTS????? My money is just that MINE. Thank god for pre nups.
Did you happen to get her name I need some extra cash.
When yu look up the word NAIVE in the dictionary you see her picture right? | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:47:47 AM | Probably -- at least not doing so would be because there would be no reason to do it, not because of lack of trust.
I'd be more devastated by the person's behaviour than the loss of money. You can always earn more money, you can't easily replace the person you must have thought was the love of your life.
For this particular woman, $2000 is cheaper than 10-20 years of her life spent with a toerag, without realising just what a toerag he was. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:56:49 AM | Would I put a partner I amn't married to on my checking account?
Yes, I would! Provided I loved her, and I knew how to choose my love wisely, and the money in the account had been raised by her, and I had a governmental guarantee for the deposit amount, and my love wouldn't need the money anyway, and she were only too ecstatic and happy to see me, never mind wanting to defraud me for any reason, and my love was sitting on death row, with no access to banks or computers or even lawyers or clergimen (or -women), and I knew she loved me too. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:07:23 AM | No - no adding someone to my accounts. They are mine and in the event anything happens to me, they go to my kids
I'd have to think long and hard about putting someone I was married to onto my accounts at this point in my life.
I would however, agree to set up a joint account for mutual bills if we were living together. | |
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| Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account?
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:15:01 AM | "Of course...my ex and I shared one account for twenty years and we NEVER had one problem...not even during our separation. "
Appardon... was this happening during your marriage or after your marriage? You say "my ex and I" which means, strictly speaking, that you shared an account for twenty years after your marriage had dissolved.
I am only asking because the OP asked if you'd share the account with someone you aren't married to... Hence, strictly speaking, your case doesn't qualify if you shared the account during your marriage.
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Ex princess, I love your sentimentality and sadness and optimism; and the star that you wear on your heart.
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Vivacious vixen, I love your legs. To be honest, I never even had a chance to look at what you said. Go, girl!
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I would comment on other's posts, but I just came to the conclusion of the span of my attention. Plus, walking my eyes along the long, winding and curvaceous road of the charms of the Foxette, I got exhausted... papa needs a nap now.
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