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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/3/2008 11:53:08 PM | ok you are not the only one that this has happened to. I have a brilliant family story that takes the cake on this one and makes yours small by comparison.
Another post.
Move on, and my feeling is they won't stay together either.
Don't feel like a fool, other people move on when they have been made a fool of as well and it can be done successfully.
Revenge is by being a success ...not hurting ....please move on, you will get over it ..I promise you. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/3/2008 11:55:01 PM | Print out the emails, you might need them in court if she tries to take you to the cleaners.
However, there's no use being mad at the guy, your problem is with your wife, who seems to feel no responsibility towards her marriage. She's the one who is responsible for breaking up your marriage, NOT HIM. Put the blame where it belongs. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 12:18:51 AM |
She's the one who is responsible for breaking up your marriage, NOT HIM. Put the blame where it belongs.
Actually, they're BOTH responsible. The guy knew she was married but chose to get involved with her anyway.
OP, I can understand your anger. I've been there. My husband of over 23 years decided to go the same route. I was very angry. I wanted to go after both of them. Him for hurting me the way he had and her for helping him to do so. In the end I decided they had cost me enough, they wouldn't cost me my freedom. They weren't worth going to jail for. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 12:43:47 AM | WOW,,
I know most will say divorce her and move on, like it's something easy. I understand it is not, and yes I understand you want to beat his butt. But lets step back and take a look at that. you go over to HIS house and in the state of mind you are in from the hurt and pain, plus seeing him having sex with your wife, will flash over and you will end up hurting this person, and during this fight you pick up a chair in his house and hit him with it.. now you beat his ass good. feel better? I bet you do. you go home and sit down maybe have a beer and start to think about what just happen, yeah you got him good SOB.. then the door bell rings and there stands two police officers asking you to step outside, and your arrest for agg.as. and battery, which you will be found guilty of and will be given 12 years in jail.
Your whole life is over, for the next 12 years you will be having sex with men who will pass you around, don't think you won't. the whole time your having sex with your new friends, your ex wife and ex friend will be living free and having sex.. so what you did only changed your life not theirs.
Face facts, she is no good and you have to let her go and move on with your life. leave your buddy alone. he was never your friend to do this to you, and she never loved you. why she ever married you to start with I don't know.
don't be a child about this, dont' fight with her, sit down and say I know about you and whoever and I know it has been going on for some time. I am sorry I am not the man your in love with, I will hire a lawyer and we will do what we have to, to part from each other, I wish you the best in life and thats it.
believe me, once you do it that way and move on, one day she will look back and want you back and you say no, that's all the ass beating you need to have. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 1:06:25 AM | | He knew she was married and chose to get involved, but it was HER with the responsibility to her husband, not him. SHE was the only person who could choose to break up her marriage...and she could have chosen not to. No matter how much HE wanted to, she had the power to refuse to do it. He didn't have the power to break up her marriage without her cooperation. A cheater is a cheater. If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:26:07 AM | Look at the posts telling you not to beat this guy down (you and I both know it would make you feel tons better if you can get away with it scot free), they're mostly female, get it? Just remember my friend, no witnesses, no evidence=no crime. Make a project out of it, the research that goes into it, the careful planning it would take and consider it as the first self help project on your way back to being well again. Your choices are to bend over, help him and her grease you up for the pounding you're going to get in court, or take charge, use your brain, calm down and methodically plot their karma induced doom. If you have the balls the size of BBs, and a brain to match I suggest finding the best lube that offers the least amount of friction. Otherwise make it a fun game, you can do all the planning that goes into a perfect assault with no repercussions wait till he's in his house and have him wake up one morning beside a picture of a gun pointed to his head, emails between your wife and him copied, pictures of both of them together and leave it at that as you smile to yourself forever thinking about how he pissed himself and how he'll always have to look behind him as he waits for his karma.  | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 8:50:43 AM | Tyger, EVERY person has advised the OP not to beat the guy up. They are ALL concerned with his welfare. Not one post has told him to go for it except yours.
I still think he should sue the woman for marrying him on false pretenses since she was already screwing around before she even said "I do."
As for the idea that the woman is in love with the man, why are people believing that hooey? She said she loved the OP while she was sleeping with another man and telling him she loved him. She's playing the whole lot of them and doing it cause she's a *itch. Not because she loves one or the other, but because she can and she's nasty.
Nutt | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:01:50 AM | TygerLaw...the advice you have given this OP is a recipe for disaster. Maybe IF someone is unbalanced and mentally ill they would put all the time and effort into the scenario you have described, but then this would set them up for major jail time when (I didn't say IF I said WHEN) they get caught.
Of course we'd all love to go around and deliver karma to the people who have done us wrong, but in reality we can't do this or the lot of us would wind up in jail. You're not thinking very intelligent if you would advise him to stalk and premeditate a "plan" of this type.
Somebody needs some major meds, a clue and some  | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:37:43 AM | Marcus,
Consider yourself very lucky to have found out this soon. Sure its painful, i've been through the same thing only had a kid w/ her and wasted 10+ years of my life married to a lying, cheating, you know what!! It was a very painful thing, but in the end i realized that they DESERVED each other, and that his fate would eventually be the same as mine.......reason being: once a cheater, always a cheater. You have to move on for the sake of your own happiness, and for the fact that YOU DESERVE BETTER. Its out there bro, just go find it. Erase her BS out of your life and move on! Just take the higher road and you already win~that's all you have to do......its really that simple. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:31:06 AM | Dear Nut & Bee,
If the OP were the type to be able to do this, to include the frame of mind it takes to conduct such a daring mission, he wouldn't be posting on POF my dear naive ones. He would have already done it, and no one would have ever known that he did...believe me. As far as meds and the crazZZZiness that accompanies such thoughts, all the sons of America that have been sent away to war have been trained by Uncle Sam to do such things, and they're planning them/executing these very same type of black ops missions RIGHT as we speak (shiver). Those wild n crazyyyy guys! Get em some meds, stat!
Back to the reality we deal with everyday and not the reality that others deal with that you don't know about. The OP has had a few pages of the same advice, bend over, turn the other cheek, high road blah blah which is fine. My post should make the guy laugh, and have him know yeah we pretend to be civilized but men have these thoughts. Just like OJ watching his ex wife's boytoy drive around in his $1million ferrari that OJ bought, we don't condone killing the waiter...but we understand...( paraphrased from Chris Rock comedy special) | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:17:12 AM | | Thanks for the advise everyone I hate this guy with a passion I really do. I confront my wife yesterday I told her I know whats going on. I didnt tell her I have her email she wrote to him, but she continue to LIE saying she not seeing anybody no one in the picture. When I move out of the house then Im going to show her the email | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:38:51 AM | A key logger is a program that loggs waht you typ and then looks for specific words and Phrases. some are simple and some are complex.
Business will use this to catch people using inaprproate sights. and record caht transcripts. MSN and yahoo have also a form of a key logger.
You can enguage it or dissenguage it at any time.
how ever with this keylogger, it can not be by passed unless the adminstraters dissables it.
Hers is a sight that explains it better.
http://www.webwatchernow.com/Monitoring-Software/Consumer/Keylogger-lnd.html?keyword=keylogger&loc=google&plc=Keylogger+2&src=11056&type=Search&adc=1815615306&gclid=CK_kqqDCkJYCFQ89awod3We1Fg | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:54:02 AM | " Whats a keylogger? "
A program that records all activity on a computer ... | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/5/2008 3:44:01 PM | | tigerlaw not all humans deal with there problems physicaly this you need to learn..........marcus karma comes with patience what gose round comes round and it it not sweeter to let them choke at there own hand and not yours think about it | |
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X-Lu
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Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 65 | |
| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/6/2008 6:33:10 AM | I have caught my ex in OUR marital bed and in MY apartment with his mistress, both naked. I was supposed to come there from a travel, and he came first. It was a vacation apartment, it was Xmas time, and he had also a guest friend and GF that knew he was married with me for a decade. And no, I did not know all the BS on my back... I was too motivated and too busy travelling for business, our business, around the world... Could you deal with?
In a fraction of seconds in that moment I thought how easy target they were there both naked and I would have a good alibi with all property in my name..., but my best part of me immediately grasped that the best would be really to keep my self in best shape and strong to feel love and happiness instead the negatives, which brings human beings nowhere but in real hell, therefore I calmly woke first him up, then I took also his poke on me with her, who he woke up to throw some poke on me - a total different man from what I knew until days before he had kissed me on airport like nothing where in there. After sorting him out of the bedroom to the kitchen for a serious talk and letting him know divorce would be next, she came after and bursted in the kitchen for a low-level tantrum, this was when I first got physically violent and I made her go down on knees with a single and good kick and to avoid touching her. I did not want to even touch her with my hands, she smelled and talked bad and low level. I was nauseous with human disgrace and most of all it was my sadness and disappointment with a person and individual I loved and could not recognize anymore, "my" husband. I did want to get out there and not see them anymore, and so I did. I gave him the keys and left back to our home in another country, and called one of our lawyers to review all the assets and our divorce. First then I learned that he was robbing our nest and joint accounts with the assistance of our accountant - a great teaching cover up and plot, and I lost a good part of the material wealth I had, but I gained invaluable wisdom through all, and there is no substitute for. I thought he must have hated me for what I was and has used me as an orange, because of all he has done against me on my back, but I am good now. I don't hate him, much less her. I feel just compassion and caution.
What doesn't kill us, make us only stronger...
Let the girl go, she made a mistake, she is immature, and you guys do not fit, and no, don't say you love her, it is not love what you're feeling... just be glad it did not take 10 years of marriage for you to be disappointed and learn how it taste in being betrayed... you're not the loser, you're the winner...
I wish you the best and greatest luck, you will conquer best roads after all the lessons, I am sure you learn life better that way, and I hope my story helps you to evolve. Success! Cheers!
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:37:20 PM | ^^^^^^^
x-lu
Wow. My question to you. Can you trust again? Can you go into a long term relationship, even marriage again and trust in that part of your being, that is financial issues? | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:11:34 PM |
then I took also his poke on me with her, who he woke up to throw some poke on me
What do you mean by "his poke on me"? | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:20:49 PM | I can understand why you are angry but you should have ended it earlier like when you found yourself feeling like you had to buy a keylogger.
I realize it is a lot easier for me to sit here and tell you to end it that it really is to walk away from someone but sometimes you have to and if you don't this is what happens.
Just walk away man. Far away. She is not worth going to jail. | |
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| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:26:47 PM | | A keylogger is a program that one can offer you innocently as some other program. They can see everything you type including CC numbers. Get a good antivirus. | |
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X-Lu
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Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 71 | |
| BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS?
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:37:03 AM | OutMind I have issues with trusting still but it is under my control. As far going into a long term relationship, I simply can't answer because it did not happen yet; yet. Marriage has many meanings, for me it is a social system to organize and control individuals in a frame of laws, somehow necessary, "a piece of paper with some power" per se, but in my heart, and IMHO, marriage happens in the souls, in the mind, and that is the ultimate connection to two individuals who find themselves sharing something that they want to.
Financial issues are always involved, as simple math, we bring in and we sum up our assets, and, as any business, it also involve some risks, take or give some caution and it might work out fine. I know of a bunch of great examples of great relationships until the end of their life times. I am not afraid of nothing.
Back to Marcus, our OP and threader, it is important for him now to focus on and shift his vision to a better future for himself, with no cheater involved, and just this vision shifting might fullfill great times in life, no need for the negatives.
As he mentioned before, that he confronted her, and she kept denying, that is the typical reaction, she is defensive, but she might not know what she is getting into, and it is most an instinctive reaction to preserve old values - read vanity... maybe the other guy in fact is just an adventure and the "safe harbor" is her marriage, husband and the old values... and it is a wrong way of thinking too... she doesn't respect none of those, but want to have them... to have but not to keep. She got first mature, and every individual has a certain time to "get it" ...
For UrsulaMajor, answering your question, how my husband " poke " on me, I meant, when I woke him up, touching and "caressing" his feet (yes, imagine some thriller), he reacted joking and poking on me with scorn, and also woke up his mistress to jointly laugh at my face. He changed his masks, I guess... He got one of daring scorn, and it was really risky for him... I would laugh nervously too, if I would be stupid. Anyhow, I sat deep and depressed at the end of the bed corner on his side, and I contemplated at these two individuals sleeping naked, and their guest friends in my other bedroom... all under my nose for a while, one year or so... they hadn't even noticed I came in and was in there... a million of possibilities got through my head - an instant catharsis..., instead losing it, I rather touched and caressed his foot and woke him up, calling him to have a serious talk in the kitchen, letting him know that his glory days with me were over... and that was, when he woke up he started laughing, maybe nervously, first because he obviously felt he was caught in the act prime time, and second because he knew I was nothing to joke when I get serious and focus - yes I have the nerve and pulse..., plus he knew I had a gun and he knew I had a concealed gun permit, worse, we were in a vacation home in a remote country of no law, people can disappear for small bucks and nobody cares..., however, it would be too easy become a passional murder - and what a stupid title I would live with, huh? It would be like robbing a candy from a child, they were there deep in sleep, and they did not notice I came in and sat there on bed with them, staring at them..., I kept only shaking my head, in disappointment, disgust and sadness, but it was mostly for me a picture of two idiots that I also immediately felt that they're not worth even not a single bulet in their foreheads. My silver bulets were expensive anyways... I wouldn't want to waste it... never mind... I can laugh a lot now... it is too stupid to become a murder and f*uk our lives for nothing but one piece of worthless d*oodoo... and thereafter live with those memories like in hell, no thanks, I have brains and I like them clean... severely clean...
For the OP, he should gain control over his feelings and I wish him a bright future, that is. And that is all I can recommend from my experienceS... because it was not only one tragedy and drama in my life, but I don't believe in negative things...and that is the key... that is hapiness, living in the truth of your self... so, I just keep moving on and having my vision to the bright side of life, it is worth more than any material possessions... although I love some comfort, I can handle a good deal... and if I can, because I am alive too, so you all have the same... What doesn't kill us, make us only stronger... true, I verify it.
We are all human beings, with a special code...therefore we're individuals with a DNA... so, let's make the best of what we've got, that is.
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