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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 6/28/2005 5:13:46 PM | Well, this is coming from someone who is terrified of starting over. I have tried to love and lost. I have become headshy and fled and hides behind the monitor. I do not date and I do not want to be in love. Or so I say.
I do know that there are "people" not just "a person" out there for a person.
We have to believe in it or we just couldn't go on. And every day, you probably walk by one of those people and you don't even realize it.
Interesting thought,no? It makes you wonder.
Well, it makes ME wonder. But I do know that I have enough hope for all of us right here.
Natalie | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 6/30/2005 9:49:17 PM | Not many people understand this alone4now, unless they are in a similar situation.
Their narrow minded attitudes like ‘get over it’, or ‘move on in life’, just show how cold they are. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/1/2005 6:14:30 AM | FineArabianFilly
Given the majority of the posts in this thread and the definitions of a soulmate, I believe there is someone out there for me. Natalie, why are you terrified of starting over? The following is an exerpt from a book that belonged to my late wife. She read it daily durung the six months she was hospitalized. I found the book two months after she passed and have read from it every day since.
HONOR THE BEGINNING
Beginnings can be delicate or explosive. They can start almost invisibly or arrive with a big bang. Beginnings hold the promise of new lessons to be learned, new territory to be explored, and old lessons to be recalled, practiced, and appreciated. Beginnings hold ambiguity, promise, fear, and hope.
Don’t let the lessons, the experiences of the past, dampen your enthusiasm for beginnings. Just because it’s been hard doesn’t mean it will always be that difficult. Don’t let the heartbreaks of the past cause you to become cynical, close you off to life’s magic and promise. Open yourself wide to all that the universe has to say.
Let yourself begin anew. Pack your bags. Choose carefully what you bring, because packing is an important ritual. Take along some humility and the lessons of the past. Toss in some curiosity and excitement about what you haven’t yet learned. Say your good-byes to those you’re leaving behind. Don’t worry who you will meet or where you will go. The way has been prepared. The people you are to meet will be expecting you. Anew journey has begun. Let it be magical. Let it unfold.
All parts of the journey are sacred and holy. Take time now to honor the beginning.
The book is called 'Journey to the Heart' by Melodie Beattie. It has been a great source of guidance for me, and I beleive it would also be for you, Natalie. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:35:47 AM | I know that in Feb. I lost my live in boyfriend...a friend that I had known since I was young. He left our home that night and commited suicide. His parents found him the next morning in his fathers workshop. It tore me up really bad inside and out. But now I'm back up on my feet again. And a lot of it has to do with him and his personality. He was a very fun, funny, outgoing man with a lot to live for...he just couldn't see it for himself.
I live my life now for the both of us. Trying to experience as much as I possibly can, and to try and be happy. I believe that he wouldn't want me sitting around still crying over his death, but to go out there and live my life, to live my life the way he couldn't. He'd want me to find that "ONE" and too be happy.
We'd talked about getting married someday and spending out lives together...and I still think we are...he's still in my heart and my home....but that doesn't mean that I don't have room for one more. Our hearts are bigger than we give them credit for.
On that note...I believe yes. You will find another when you're ready. The love won't be the same as before, but that's not the same person as before either. Just hang in there and don't give up.
Beka | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/1/2005 12:04:39 PM | | This is a very interesting question, but if you ask me, the answer may not exist and doesn't really matter anyway. The question that does matter is, "After losing someone that you felt was your soulmate, how do you go about going forward with what remains of your life in a manner that is joyous and meaningful to YOU?" That's a question that nobody else can answer for you, but the best guidance I can give is that it involves what you can do in the present and future, and not trying to recapture the past. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:41:49 AM | Sorry about your wife. Just wanted to say I think its possible. I don't know about soulmates and all that but I do know people who have lost a loved one to cancer and eventually remarried. One example is a friend of mine who lost her mother at an early age, her Father quickly remarried (had 3 kids) and things worked out.
I'm sure there are plenty of single moms who would connect with you on multiple levels and also be able to help with the kids. I dunno though 6 months seems fresh, maybe give yourself more time to greive. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:49:37 AM | Natalie I find it interesting that a beautiful woman such as yourself has love "issues." Very interesting what you said, from my point of view, because your words gice me perspective on my own thoughts. Perspective on the human condition, exactly as you put it we probably pass by 100's of people a day who are in the same position. Deeply set in their independence and solitude yet at some level yearning for company. At the same time to proud to admit it to themselves.
Ahhhh I must ponder and meditate on this for a bit as you've pushed the gears (brain) into motion.
C'est la vie | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/4/2005 9:51:34 AM | In search
I also refuse to believe there is only one person on this earth that I can love so deeply. The posts on this thread have really helped me to realize that now. Thanks to ya'all! | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/7/2005 10:15:18 PM | Hello There,
I too lost my soulmate almost 4 yrs ago. I watched him die in the hospital where we lived for 5 mnths where he had a bone marrow transplant. We were together since I was 16 and him 18. Watching him die was the worst because I would have gladly took his place. OUr love was the type where you could look across the room and know what each other was thinking. I loved him with every breath of my being. Now, there is not a whole lot to go on for. I have 2 kids and I try to think of them but it is hard not having that special person who knew you in every way. And this new age dating is a joke. It is not for me. I just wanted you to know I feel your pain..... | |
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Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 69 | |
| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/8/2005 10:50:49 PM | Very wise words "alone"
you can never replace that one true soulmate
but you can hope to share love again with another one day
it will always be different and mean different things each time you fall
to fill that void a soulmates takes with him/her when they go,
can never be filled the same way twice
;) | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/9/2005 8:29:21 AM | Yes I lost my fiance five years ago. I've dated and even had a long relationship but I don't think I was meantally prepared for it.
I've changed alot in that time but now I can look forward to my future with a more clear and open mind. I think coming on this site was a good decision too.
I gained weight but this year I've lost 30 pounds, started writing again, work alot, I'm involved in more activities. Have new friends and I feel awesome!
I would love to find someone to share this new found feeling for life with. That's all  | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/10/2005 2:02:44 PM | Soul mates are manifested..not found...time is a great conquerer it heals and brings understanding to emotional loss and pain...you are early in the grieving process, give yourself time and you can take all the love you have and transfer it to someone deserving..
I am very sorry for your loss, but, I am very confident that, you will find complete peace and
contentment again with another person...Good luck to you and God Bless... | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:02:24 PM | beka19743
I'm not sure which is worse a sudden death or knowing your time on earth will end in a short period of time. Both are heart wrenching. I feel for you also.
Because we knew ahead of time, it gave us the chance to plan for my future and the childrens. We discussed many many things, sometimes into the wee hours of the night. She told me she didn't want me to give up on life. She wanted me to move on, to find another to share my love with.
I have been making friends. One can never have too many friends in this world. Some are closer than others. Some have become very special for different reasons. But they all are friends and it's all good.
Carol will always be a part of my life and a big part of my heart. If I should happen to meet that special woman to share my love with again, this is something she will have to totally understand. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/17/2005 3:31:55 PM | I'm glad I decided to check these forums out...
I too lost my soulmate. It was two months ago and extremely sudden. She was found passed out in her car, parked. She died from extremely low blood pressure for an extended period of time. She had some type of heart arrhythmia, but nobody knows the exact underlying cause.
We were married three years, together for about three and a half. We met, clicked HARD, moved in a few weeks later, and married a few months later. We literally did everything together -- even grocery shopping or silly little errands. We only spent one night apart when she went to visit her parents once and I had to work.
And yet, somehow, only two months later, I feel alright. I am looking forward to meeting somebody else to share my life with. Even though it will be different, I know it can be good. I sometimes ask myself if it is possible to find that type of intensity again, just like you did in your post, and I have to think it is possible or I'll go crazy. :-) The problem is that everybody is expecting me to still grieve and be sad all the time. I do grieve. I do still cry sometimes. But I'm ready to start living again. I feel alright. I don't obsess over what might have been anymore. I have goals set now on how to honor her and that gives me so much purpose. I like to think our love was SO good that THAT is the reason why I am healing so quickly. I have absolutely no regrets.
The problem I'm finding is not whether I think I can find another soulmate -- I think that is possible. The problem I'm finding is that being a widow(er) seems to carry a stigma. I'm not sure why. But I do know that the "right one" ... the Next Soulmate will understand and appreciate that aspect of my life. And she will want to know more about the love I lost and will love me even more for honoring her. | |
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| After Losing Your Soulmate, Can Another Be Found?
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:16:57 PM | | I dont' think you will ever find anyone to take her place, nor would you want to. But you will find someone else, it will just be a different kind of love. Still special, but nobody will ever take the place of your wife, she will always be in your heart. I wish you all the best. | |
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