| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:21:08 PM | IRS? What the feck?
You don't "write" it in, it's a drop box? What the feck?
People are actually confused by what choice to make about divorced or single?
What the feck?
Is this a red shirt with white stripes or is a white shirt with red stripes?
RocK MaN, What the feck?
(todays word is feck) | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:32:24 PM | i had someone call me a liar because i said i was single n im divorced. tho i changed my profile i still i am single.. i wont have anyone call me a liar
firstly i am F$CKING single... i was legally married and now im LEGALLY divorced...
some of the posts really got my back up... closed mindedness in this thread is unreal.. i cant get over it
are we all living in the 70's y'all thinking backwards !!!! | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:43:17 PM | I think that if you were married, you have experience. Marking divorced indicates you have a past. If you talk to someone and they mention something about a child or an ex-wife, yeah, I will question it. The generally accepted meaning of single is never been married on dating sites. I am more hesitant to go out with someone that has never been married. I won't go out with someone separated as they are still married, I have gone out with separated men and have learnt by my mistakes.
Is there any reason you don't want to go with the norm or average? | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 4:41:20 PM |
I think that if you were married, you have experience
So over 10 years with someone doesn't count as experience if you weren't married?
Is there any reason you don't want to go with the norm or average?
Because the "average" on dating sites is usually 50+ pounds overweight | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 4:54:22 PM | I also have a question about this. If I was married in a past life can I still list myself as single? Must I list myself as widowed because I'm sure my past life husband has passed away. It was in the 1700's.
Seriously, why doesn't POF just have, ie; "Single, never married" -- "Single, separated" -- "Single, Divorced" -- "Single, married in former life"
Why not make things very clear? Maybe it's unnecessary but people would then have no misunderstandings about a person's status. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:18:02 PM | "IMO the OP should be listing himself as divorced. Some people do not want to date someone that has been married before."
I don't see it as a problem except in the above situation. Some people just do not want to date or have a relationship with someone who has been married before. Doesn't really matter what the reasoning is behind it, it's just how they feel.
To each thier own. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:23:04 PM |
i had someone call me a liar because i said i was single n im divorced. tho i changed my profile i still i am single.. i wont have anyone call me a liar
firstly i am F$CKING single... i was legally married and now im LEGALLY divorced...
Yet currently your profile says “Separated”.
So which is it?
Single? Separated? Divorced?
Therein is my issue with all of this.
How many people list themselves as single or divorced when they are still legally married/separated? Where do we draw the line?
Honesty people. Is it “just a label”? How many “technically married” people here list themselves as single or divorced?
Why not admit that you are divorced if that is the case?
Are there some unresolved issues beneath? Is it denial? Is it a delusional wish that it never happened?
I have no issue with dating divorced people.
I’m not hung-up on a label – I do have an issue with deceit.
Yes, I have been contacted by and even dated women that listed themselves as single or divorced and were in fact still married and living with their “spouses”.
It amazes me when people “spin doctor” their situations with rationalizations or placing the blame/suspicion on those that did not.
What the Feck indeed.
Seriously, why doesn't POF just have, ie; "Single, never married" -- "Single, separated" -- "Single, Divorced" -- "Single, married in former life"
Why not make things very clear? Maybe it's unnecessary but people would then have no misunderstandings about a person's status.
I second this motion. It would remove any ambiguity.
Anyone that is deceitful is not worth my time to get to know and IMHO, definitely has more serious issues than their deceitful labels.
As William Shakespeare said four hundred
years ago, (Hamlet, Act I. Scene iii, Lines 78-80).
This above all, to thine own self be true,
And it must follow as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:24:16 PM | I think that if you were married, you have experience
So over 10 years with someone doesn't count as experience if you weren't married?
This is why I said I THINK. If you are reading a profile, not emailing, you are interpreting their information; therefore, if I read divorced, I read and think that they have experience.
10 years in a relationship would count as something, but it isn't the same as being married. I also speak of a Christian marriage.
Oh I mark average on here and I am not 50 lbs over. My weight and bmi are exactly where they should be; however, I don't consider myself athletic or slim. Although some fat man said he thought I looked anorexic I do the best I can to be honest. If I email someone and find out that they aren't honest, I don't go out with them. Your honesty is up to your integrity. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:30:34 PM | If you were ever married
then divorced, you are divorced.
Divorced indicates previously married, i.e. you once had a spouse.
It is what it is. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:46:51 PM | I can understand why this would truly matter if in fact a person isn't actually single but listing themselves as such. Off with their heads.
But I do have to say that it would be nice if Admin would redesign the marital status dropdown to illustrate how long someone has been separated and whether or not they are actually living separately and apart from their ex. I've had a lot of clients who have been separated for years and years and we've had to actually draft divorce Writs to their "last known address". On the other hand, these days, there seem to be a lot more people continuing to live together even after their divorces have become finalized.
But hey, some people say the ages are wrong and won't change. Other people fight with the "body type". I guess we're stuck talking to one another to actually find out what that person's definitions are in all categories that are important to us. (I'm tongue in cheek of course... ) | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:54:31 PM | I'm always boggled that anyone would lie about such a thing. If you were previously married, and now you're divorced then....list yourself as "divorced", it's hardly rocket science. What would the mentality be behind such a lie anyway, are people embarrassed that they are divorced, deliberately trying to be deceitful, or what? (I'm honestly just asking). How does one expect their potential future partner to handle that little detail further down the road, when a relationship might be undergoing by then and the truth finally comes out? And...why even start a relationship off with a lie, especially one as silly as that?  | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 6:22:50 PM | they have both for a reason. "technicaly" OF course your single if divorced. But why would they have divorced on here at all then? (wink) To tell if you were previously married Darlin.
Divorced is NOT bad. Your single and ready to date again!
But your still divorced. Divorced also IMPLIES single. Because your uhhhh divorced???? Single to many implies never married because.... you would of selected divored and some very ignorant men perhaps and want someone never married bacause of drama and stuff that are attached to that.
At my age? LOL Yeah right who cares. LOL. We all all divorced. (wink) Or almost all. Or long sighs that dont understand the differance.
Heck I worry more the ones that say single at my age and I wonder HMMMMM I wonder why? Not that I would rule them out but... I would wonder and ask.
Sweetie your DIVORCED but also single of course. Since your married you HAVE to be divorced just to be single and thats how you mark it on here. Thats NOT a bad thing at all.
Cheers to you! Sorry this troubled ya.
Cowvoy | |
|
| |
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 6:36:23 PM | I think it is a personal choice and whatever you feel comfortaable with. I have been divorced now for five years. When I first started out I put single, but that just didn't feel right for me. So I switched it to divorce.
When reviewing other profiles and I see someone who says they are 49 and Single my mind wonders to why, have they ever been married, if not, why? Way to many questions start to form and then I just give I up and go look somewhere else.
But that is just me... take it for what its worth :) | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 6:58:16 PM | I'm single. I am also divorced. I happen to think of myself as "single" first, though, so I chose that option. It's been so long, the divorce is far behind me and I dont even think about it any more. My profile also says all my kids are over 18, so I assume people can figure out that I was once married.
If that causes issues? Shrug. Not my issues. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:02:47 PM |
My profile also says all my kids are over 18, so I assume people can figure out that I was once married.
Nope, I just assumed that your not a republican from Alaska! | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:13:42 PM |
Heck I worry more the ones that say single at my age and I wonder HMMMMM I wonder why? Not that I would rule them out but... I would wonder and ask.
When reviewing other profiles and I see someone who says they are 49 and Single my mind wonders to why, have they ever been married, if not, why? Way to many questions start to form and then I just give I up and go look somewhere else.
I just gotta ask...why is it better to have a failed marriage under your belt at the age of 49, or 40, or say, 39, then to have never been married? Please, I REALLY want to know!
I am 39, never been married. I was engaged, I lived with my kids Dad for 8 years, which was as close to married as I ever wanted to get with him. Sorry if I am a failure, or..oh oh oh, my absolute favorite on here (rolls eyes) a red flag to those of you who prefer to date people who have crashed and burned in their marriages, rather than recognizing that marriage would be a mistake and avoiding it altogether.
Yup, I failed miserably in my last relationship, and not only that, I bore children out of wedlock!! Anyone got a scarlet "A" I can borrow?
If you're single, put single. If you're married, put married. Whatever.
I loooooooooooooooove labels!!  | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:21:29 PM | Single is NEVER married.
Divorced has been married in the past but is currently no longer married and legally divorced. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:13:34 PM | annabannabanna: LOL
i was legally married and now im LEGALLY divorced...
Hello you answered your own question sweetie. YOUR divorced and by being divorced your single to date technically. But your never SINGLE on the way most mean it again after your marraige. Your divorced. Just like you said. Once your married and single again to date legaly. YOUR DIVORCED.
So what do you honestly think the few million women on here saying divorced are implying. Not really married or sorta implying divorce or not legaly divorced. What makes ya different?
(WINK) You said it yourself. Your DIVORCED. You were legaly married. Your now divorced. thats what divorced means? YES your also single but thats not being truthful on here on your marriage status.
Look I am REALLY sorry you dont get this concept. Honestly. If you again become single after you have been married YOUR DIVORCED. Its not bad. NOT AT ALL! Its imply indicates you were ONCE married and I HONESTLY am sorry you got so ruffled to finally understand the differance in the terms. But try.... to get over finally understanding your really divorced. Just as you said in your post
Cheers Sweetie
Cowboy | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:14:42 PM | If someone could post a link as to where they are getting this so-called definition of divorced as a state of being, it would be greatly appreciated.
Single is NEVER married.
I don't think so........
>1. only one in number; one only; unique; sole: a single example.
2. of, pertaining to, or suitable for one person only: a single room.
3. solitary or sole; lone: He was the single survivor.
4. unmarried: a single man.
notice it says unmarried...... not NEVER married
Divorced has been married in the past but is currently no longer married and legally divorced.
A.K.A. single, see above for definition
*to edit
Now I'll probably get some hate mail for this, but, when I see some one say they are divorced for 10 or 20 odd years, I see it as the last kick at the can to the person they once were married to, almost a reminder of the anger they had or possibly still have. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:34:28 PM | paper: LMAO And you have a status of single with kids too? MAYBE just a coincidence huh? (rolls eyes..)
Hopefully you were not married. And if you were then hopefully your now also DIVORCED. lol
What purpose do you think it has DIVORCED on here? That's previously married. Now look if some of you want to lie about your marital status then DO IT! No one is stopping you.
DIVORCED means you were previously married. WHICH IS NOT BAD. Just being truthful about your status. I feel their is nothing to be ashamed about being divorced.
If you were married and now divorced thats what you enter in the box here or expect to be called out at times as its not truthful. Dont post threads because you got accused of fibbing a bit. (wink) I am NOT telling you what to do. I am saying your going to get some guys that call you out. Its not 100 percent truthful. Saying your divorced also IMPLIES your now single. Does not mean your not divorced though and that now takes precedence.
LOL!! The funniest thing about your post is you showed dictionary definations of single. You want me REALLY to post some of divorced for ya so you understand the differance. Thats why YOU didnt post them. LMAO .... Sorry that dog wont hunt Darlin.
Cowboy | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:35:46 PM | | I see myself as single and/or divorced. There is no difference. Some people are just idiots. | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:39:55 PM | | NEWS FLASH, just em, people don't have to have been married to mention children. They have them now without being married. Times have changed since our day, huh? | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:49:07 PM | Fine..... divorced,
1. a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, esp. one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. Compare judicial separation.
2. any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom.
3. total separation; disunion: a divorce between thought and action.
–verb (used with object)
4. to separate by divorce: The judge divorced the couple.
5. to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one's spouse) by divorce: She divorced her husband.
6. to separate; cut off: Life and art cannot be divorced.
But nowhere does it state a way of living. Or did I miss that?
And yes, FYI, I am single, I have kids, and no I was never married.
By the way, I hope you weren't saying that I'm fibbing a bit on my profile are ya? | |
|
| Am I single or divorced
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:57:25 PM | I'm divorced, over 15 years. I put single as my status, because as far as I'm concerned, I "AM" single.
Single to me = No ties to my past, No children, no alimony, no child support. I bring nothing from a past marriage to the table in my next relationship. I have absolutely no responsibilities what so ever to a past marriage.
Divorced to me = Ties to the past, alimony, child support, children etc.
(Though as others stated already, you dont have to have been married to fall under the same as I listed. Just my personal opinion if you had been married and have those ties above.) | |
|
Home
login 
