| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/1/2009 4:03:42 PM | Normally I don't go into bars, just not somewhere I hang out. However recently, I was on vacation and I went into the swanky hotel bar where I was staying before meeting a friend for dinner. And you know, I was not uncomfortable at all. There was a wonderful jazz band playing and I sat enjoying my wine and the music. A few men came up to me, but they were polite and respectful.
Now would I go into a bar by myself, just to go to a bar, no. But I would definately do this again, especially if there is a really good jazz band playing. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:34:58 PM | Jeez! i can't believe this question is even having to be asked...it's 2009 ladies can do anything they want to do. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:56:45 AM | I don't have anything against it as i do it myself too but i think where I live i never see a woman on her own having a drink in a pub even though this is the 21st century | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:04:00 AM | | While I'm not a woman, I find (for some reason) when I travel, going into a bar by myself is not an issue, but I find it weird going to a bar in my hometown by myself. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:30:30 AM | | As a man, I have to be really bored, or hard up for someting to do/somewhere to go before I'll go to a bar by myself. I've done it though, just to get out of the house, and spent evenings reading the paper or watching television by myself at the bar. I could have done those at home. So yeah, when I see a woman sitting alone in some bar, I wonder why. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 11:30:52 AM | ^^^I agree that if you don't like bars or find them any fun/entertaining then you wouldn't go to one alone as a priority if you wanted to get out. I'm sure there are other more interesting things to do alone that work better for you. And yes if all you're interested in is watching TV or reading the paper - going out of your way to do it in a bar doesn't make much sense.
The point is that if you actually do like bars or clubs, I don't see why you should have to stay home from one because you're alone. You should be able to do whatever you want regardless of who's with you (or not). | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:12:09 PM | There is a cute bar near my house that I go to quite a bit. To another poster's point, I am not looking to "hook up," nor am I an alcoholic. Heck, lots of times, I just order a tonic water and watch whatever's on TV. The regulars there are entertaining, the bartender/owner is a funny piece of work who just cracks me up and it overlooks my town green, so I can people-watch. There is another bar in town where I go to listen to music. The bands that are booked there are either blues or swing/rockabilly acts, and I'll go to dance, have dinner or listen. There are some older men (60+) who go there, and it's a lot of fun to dance with men who come from a generation where men were all gentlemen, and they're just looking to have fun, too. It's healthier and more fun to go out than it is to sit in my apartment alone and talk to my dog all night.
I don't buy the old-school BS that if a woman goes out alone, she's automatically looking for tail or trouble. If a woman is dressed conservatively and relatively keeping to herself, or doing something innocuous (like talking or dancing) it's entirely possible that she just didn't feel like staying home alone. I'd worry more about a woman who isolates herself, for fear of what others may think. | |
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fila1
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Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 233 | |
| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:37:18 PM | | Good on ya! I think its cool you have the self confidence to go out and enjoy yourself in a bar alone. I think that is a good quality . I personaly don't frown on single women goin out alone. I , as a man do it all the time. Shows u can enjoy your own company, and still be open to meeting the rite person, if they should show up. Cheers!!! | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 3/26/2009 4:02:48 PM | | Depends on the bar - if its a classy bar you'll be fine going in on yourself, if you go into a bit of a dive (spitoons, pool tables, god awful smell, lots of truckers) you'll look out of place and get hit on a lot, or is that what you're after? | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/2/2009 9:09:58 PM | Why cant a women go to bars alone? guys do it all the time they go grab a few suds or some wine and reflect on their day, whats wrong with that?
Last time I checked women going to bars alone hasnt been illegal since prohibition | |
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lisshe
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 236 | |
| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/7/2009 3:35:04 PM | Just be careful even it is a nice bar. This is a true story that happened to me, but did not deter me from going out alone.
I went to a funeral out of town and stayed at a nice hotel, $150 a night. After the funeral when I went back to the hotel, I felt like having a drink, by myself. I was still dressed up from attending the funeral- was wearing a nice, fairly conservative black dress and heels. I was in the bar ten minutes and had a man come up and proposition me and ask me how much it would cost to go back to his room! I was shocked. I was not dressed like a hooker, but since I was the only female in the bar and it was a hotel, he assumed I was. You just never know what men will think when you are by yourself, so always, always, be aware of your surroundings, whether it is a nice, expensive hotel bar or a dive, there are always idiots out there. Needless to say, I ripped him a new one when I said I was there for a funeral, told the bartender to get him away from me and asked the concierge to walk me back to my room just to be safe. It is too bad that even now women have to be extra careful when they are alone, even in a public establishment. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/8/2009 2:06:51 PM | | Who cares what anyone else thinks. Just go and enjoy yourself. It's about you not what anyone else thinks. I wouldn't go alone though. There may be someone who will follow you to your car. Although you can have a bouncer walk you to your car. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:11:45 PM | | I had this happen to me. I had a boyfriend and we had a fight so I went to this nice bar on top of the Raddisson. I just wanted a drink and sit and think about the fight. This older man ask me if I would go to his room. He said he had lots of money and he would give me more than I could make in a week. I told him he would never have enough money to buy me. I left after that. It really sucked that I had to be the one to leave and not just be able to sit there. He scared me so leaving was my only option. I think men have a double standard on going out alone. No one bothers them in that way. If a girl were to come up to them they could say not interested and that would be the end. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:52:14 AM | | no i would not think that was odd at all.i go out sometimes bye my self and i do not think that when i see women alone. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:28:18 AM | Op,
Great post! Made me think about the venues I frequent when I am solo. Honestly, I can't recall ever going to an establishment where alcohol was served (bar/nightclub, etc.) - solo. More times than not, venues like that foucs on the alcohol, not the music or the potentially interesting people I may meet. Unfortunately, it happens in restuarants as well. I've been out w/friends - them to the right of me and a sloppy/crude stranger to the left of me .. slurring (fill in the blank)! It's disgusting and annoying! For me, the risk doesn't outweigh my personal safety.. and space.  | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:34:20 PM | | I go out by myself all the time. I always meet new people, and have made a lot of friends. People are more apt to introduce themselves to you, and I have had wonderful conversation with most of them. I think the key is to be selective on what kind of places you DO go to. Pick a classier place, and you will find classier people. If you are out by yourself, you also don't feel obligated to others you may have been with. You can pick and choose where you go and when you might want to leave. Go out and have FUN! | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 6:50:36 AM | i dont think i would go into a bar on my own, not that i couldnt i just wouldnt want to...
if i wanted to listen to music and get drunk i could stay home and do that.. put on a music channel and get a few cans in...
i would say a singles night where there are people to meet who are in a similar position, and looking to get to know someone would be a better option..although im still not sure i would have the courage to go by myself.. unless like on here the meets are organised through a forum base, where you can at least exchange a few messages with both male and female party goers before hand and when you arrive you will at least have a couple friendly faces you already recognise ...
but then i guess we are all different.... | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 12:59:03 PM | | Generally I would say it is ok to go to a bar-or anywhere else for that matter-alone. We have shifted away from a lot of things once considered "taboo". | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/15/2009 2:20:09 PM | | Yes please do!! I need more people to meet Monday - Friday on the road. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 8:26:18 AM | | yes i no what you mean i have been single for a year now and i cant help but think if i go in a bar alone i will get funny looks .and the women will think im after there men .but i dont know many people around where i live so if i dont try it i wont meet new people .so what do you say i should do. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 1:49:58 PM | Well, which seems better to you? Getting out and meeting people, or sitting in your house because your life is controlled by fear of getting funny looks or what somebody else thinks? I'm not getting on your case. Some people ARE that scared, and though I've not ever had any problems, there's probably some chance that your presence will be misinterpreted.
Have you given any thought to other activities that might help you get to know people? If the bars are your only option, then it's up to you to decide whether the risk of betting looked at funny or thought to be chasing after other women's men,is so frightening that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. Because there's absolutely no point in going to a bar and then sitting there looking like you feel afraid and guilty and in the wrong for being there.
Cindy O | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/16/2009 7:33:26 PM | I have gone to bars alone. There is nothing wrong with it. Now days, most restraunts have bars in them. If I go out to dinner alone, I will sit at the bar. I have met some very nice people who also are by themselves.
There is a place my BFF and I meet up on Wednesdays, it is "ladies night and they have a Jazz band. we sit at the bar, have a couple of drinks, dinner. There are always 3 other women there by themselves. We have now kind of become the Wednesday group. And there are always plenty of single men there having drinks and dinner also. So it turns out to be a nice place to meet people. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:44:32 AM | I have had some of the best times of my life in a bar ALONE! I love people watching! I love meeting new people! Sometimes, I don't want to be attached at the hip with someone. I want to be left alone to simply enjoy the music and watch the inevitable drama unfold. There is a bar close to my work that I started going to alone, just for a beer to unwind. It's a friendly, laid back kinda place and I immediately felt quite comfortable there. Gradually, I started to make some friends there. It was great because the relationships formed there were purely simple. Everyone was just there to do pretty much the same. I've never, "hooked up" there. And I remain, after 6 years to be pretty much an impartial observer. If this ever changes...I'll be outta there!
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/18/2009 10:15:50 PM | Uh yeah, I always think that women by themselves in bars or sluts and/or lushes. There's no way she could ever just be there for a few drinks and a bite to eat just to relax. I mean, there's just no way.
Come on, seriously? | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 4/19/2009 12:28:13 AM | | Why is it that women are almost always perceived as being on "the hunt" when they go to a bar either alone or with friends? I just want to go hang out with the girl or listen to a kick ass band without all the stereotypical b.s. that comes along with it. As far as going out alone, I will do that too. I have met some really nice people while out and about, and besides you never know who you might meet that could change your life forever, romantically or otherwise. It's a free country, go the bars women! | |
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