| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/19/2008 10:17:46 AM | [QUOTE]JustJohn, your view of women going out alone to a bar is sad. Girlfriend, I am 35 years old and I have been going out alone since I was 21. I go out alone, I travel alone, and yes...I go to bars alone. When you go out alone, you have even more fun...since you end up meeting people, men and women, old and young, instead of staying in your immediate circle. Going to a bar alone, or anywhere alone, shows that you are independent, and confident, and you do not need a man or a woman to be happy and to have a good time. Trust me, people are very attracted to confident women. The few men who are not attracted to confident women...they have issues in themselves and you do not want them anyway! If you are a people person, I say GO FOR IT! Go to the bar alone! [/QUOTE]
I agree I have had some really fun conversations with people going at it alone. in my opinion if someone feels they absolutely must have someone with them, to me that is a sign of INSECURITY | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/20/2008 4:32:09 AM |
I wouldn't go to a bar alone. Unless you want that kind of attention from men...............and I don't.
If this is the case then don't go anywhere alone that men are present. You think going to the grocery store alone doesn't invite attention (all attention is the same kind from men)? I've gotten attention I didn't want from men picking up cat food on the way home. Who cares? You just ignore it.
I'm with the other poster that said you don't get much of that type of attention if you don't put off that kind of vibe, regardless of where you are. Just throw off a "don't bother me" vibe or just tell them thanks but you just want to relax and not be bothered. They'll get the hint. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/20/2008 7:00:50 AM | I think its not uncommon but the kind of bar you are going to may have more to do with it. I'd try a bar at a restaurant rather than something like a lounge.
Just throw off a "don't bother me" vibe or just tell them thanks but you just want to relax and not be bothered. They'll get the hint.
I don't think a person can choose what kind of vibe they give off on the fly. Unless a person decides to adjust their thought process. I think a vibe is ultimately how a person perceives themselves and others. Which is what others may get from the person. I agree that attention is something you can moderate but it doesn't discontinue it. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/20/2008 7:36:55 AM |
I wouldn't go to a bar alone. Unless you want that kind of attention from men...............and I don't.
If this is the case then don't go anywhere alone that men are present.
NO LIE!!
I've probably been "hit on" MORE in grocery stores, at auctions, flea markets,even my own yard sales than I have at bars.
Cindy O | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/20/2008 8:59:01 AM | I was just in Vegas this past weekend with some friends. Several other friends were in town as well - but Saturday night EVERYone was going to various shows... I didn't choose to join for the shows, so needed to pass some time on my own. I went to the Toby Keith bar on my own and had fun! Talked to a few people, played a little video poker, did some line dancing. Then before I knew it, the shows were over and it was time to meet up with my friends...
I don't see anything wrong with a girl going to a bar alone - I agree with what was said here many times - doesn't seem fair that people see a guy alone and everything is fine - but if it's a woman - she must be looking for a hookup or is sad and pathetic.... NOT TRUE! :) | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/20/2008 10:12:25 PM | | I always thought it was taboo, but about a month or so ago I figured what the hell, sure didn't want to spend another weekend doing nothing lol. So I went.I had a really good time was a bit nervous at first, but after a couple drinks, and a few chats with bartender, and other patrons, I relaxed and had a good time. I say go, if nothing else just for the ability to say you did it. Nothing worse than saying I wish I woulda!!! | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:29:50 PM | Ruth I don't think it's frowned upon and although I would never do it personally, I do credit the women who do, however, as I was saying I don't think it's frowned upon, but my best advice would be that if you do do it, just take some precaution that you don't put yourself in a bad situation where you can get hurt, i.e., maybe have the bar tender walk you to your car, and don't leave your drink unattended, and that sort of thing. I go to Coffee Bean and Starbucks alone all the time, and occasionally will go out to eat alone, but only to places where the owners and chefs know me well, and by name (usually my three favorite sushi places or my two favorite cafes). Just make sure you are taking care of YOU, and do what you must... 
Suz | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/22/2008 9:18:06 PM | I used to go to nigh clubs and bars by myself when i was living in vegas ..it was still unusaull but it was VEGAS .. anything is ok over there ..
over here in Toronto .. i never do that .. it's just too boring and too lonley but at the end do it if you enjoy it regardless of what people think and say ... | |
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OnyxTX
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 85 | |
| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/22/2008 10:07:41 PM | I think it depends the reason you are going to a bar/club alone. Are you there to get picked up? Then if so, that I think is just sad.
Personally, when I do go, it is to here some good live music and relax. I don't do it as much on the East coast as I did down South, but different type of atmosphere and music here. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:31:27 PM | To justjohn561
What would you say to a women that goes out doesn't drink and knows and hangs out with every one there? Maybe she just wants to be out!
If you see her there - your there-areyou a drunk?
And just a little tip....there's a lot less wear and tear on your knuckles if you stand erect! | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/23/2008 4:07:18 AM | I go out alone and see nothing wrong with it. I drink water most of the time and once in awhile get a drink. I am a people watcher and I have to tell you the drunks are fun to watch....LOL.
Now since I drink water most of the time or just the one drink, if a man is trying to pick me up, he usually leaves me alone once I tell him I am just drinking water or no thanks I am driving...LOL If he sticks around to chat I usually have a nice chat and will say hi the next time I see him. Have met a few casual friends that way. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/23/2008 9:21:11 PM | You can either let life pass you by... or you can jump on the ride and enjoy it.
Awhile after my ex and I split up, I got tired of staying home every weekend. Most of my "friends" in this town were HIS friends wives. My friends were mostly out of town, married or single moms who couldn't get a sitter.
It was GO ALONE or stay home. It was strange at first. Like you, I worried that people would think I was desperate or looking for a hook up. lol I'd go and MAKE MYSELF stay for a minimum of 30 minutes. Eventually, I got used to it. Now I prefer it. I agree with those on here who have said that going alone means YOU call the shots. You go where YOU want, stay as long as YOU want, leave when YOU want.... etc. If I' m out somewhere and bored, I don't have to take a vote to see who else wants to leave and check out another place.
I enjoy people watching. (yes, drunks are quite amusing) I love the energy (and music) of a LIVE band. Sometimes I just want to drink a beer and watch a game. If funny, interesting and amusing conversation is part of it, Bonus.
I have 2 sons at home - so I'm not looking to pick anyone up. And there are too many psychos out there for me to go home with some drunk guy I just met in a bar.
Take the precautions. And one I'll add is to always let someone know where you are. Text a friend. Just in case. But, by all means, GO. Relax.
Trust me - you'll soon find out that YOU are giving more thought to what other people are thinking than they are actually thinking about you.  CHEERS!  | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/23/2008 11:01:47 PM | The only thing worse than people who would think this is taboo are the women that buy into it. This is a free country,
where personal liberties are taken rather seriously. Don't let any jerks tell you that people will think this or that about you, because people really don't care. They're too self-absorbed to notice, so if someone does notice you're alone, they might be worth a conversation. Do what you want to do. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/23/2008 11:13:38 PM | I went to the bar and stood in line all by myself and thought "This is nuts!" Besides feeling vulnerable and scared I was angry, I felt like never going out again.
I went right to the owner and explained how I felt and that I wish to come again, but felt it was wrong for a single lady to stand in line...(This is a busy Bar).
I walked out with a VIP pass and must say even being shy, I am glad to do some socializing.
So yes I do think it is ok to go out alone... | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/25/2008 2:14:26 PM | I don't think it's taboo at all...I see it all the time (I dj weekly at a bar) in fact there is
one very attractive girl who comes into the bar all the time and just sits
down with her laptop (in the same place she reserves it) sometimes I talk with her
when I have a break....she is single but she isn't there to pick up....just likes the music
and to chill/work where other people are around instead of being home alone. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/25/2008 9:30:23 PM | | When I first got here from Oz, I didn't know one person. If I didn't get my butt out there on my own, I probably still wouldn't know people. If you 've got no-one to go with, why not go on your own? Who cares what the odd loser thinks. I find most people are pretty cool and couldn't care less if you're there on your own. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:50:41 PM | I just went to a place a couple of days ago by myself. While I do not make a hait of it, my motive I could not sleep and I wanted to dance to burn off some excess energy. I had one glass of wine. So I am not an Alkie. I danced and then ran into a friend that I had not seen in over 4 years. So I was not there to hook up either. Guys can think what they want, it does not make it fact.  | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/26/2008 6:01:27 PM | So, it seems that the idea of a woman going to a bar alone is mostly unacceptable by other women. They have a problem with it, not guys(one gave an opinion otherwise)
Enough smart answers have been provided to disprove the dumb myths of the"unescorted" woman. Cheers to the gals who come alone, and enjoy it. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:07:22 AM | | I totally agree, i live in cardiff and go to the pub or bars on my own reguarly, no one ever comments, i always end up having a good laugh and meeting loads of people, im not there to pull an im certainly not an alcoholic! You have to get out there and have fun, you are a long time dead!!!!!!!! | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:52:11 AM | | Nothing wrong with it!! Alone or with friends. If you show up alone....doesnt mean you will be there alone the whole time!! You have the right attitude...I think. If you wanna get out and go to a bar and your friend are not available.....just go!! Who cares what everyone else will think. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/27/2008 12:11:21 PM | Yeah but see there is a prob! I think u tend to look lonely and desperate if u go alone. Like ur there just to drink and be hit on. I tried a few times to go to a few sports bars alone, and I never have good luck. I'll order myself a drink and sit in one spot, watch the game, and no one approaches me. The last time I went alone, 1 guy approached me, NOT MY TYPE AT ALL, but I kept convo up till I was ready to go. He didnt even buy me a drink! So, anyone have ANY suggestions and hot spots in the LA area I should go?? | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/27/2008 1:59:54 PM | Back in the day if a woman entered a bar by herself, it was automatically assumed that she was a prostitute. I can remember when a woman who was not escorted by a man was not allowed in a bar! Seriously. We've come a long way baby. As far as I'm concerned a woman is free to go wherever and whenever she chooses. The only determining factor should be her level of comfort going out alone. I personally would not feel comfortable going to a 'bar' or 'club' by myself but have traveled extensively and have sat in many hotel pubs and lounges by myself when my husband is unavailable. Then again, I am an older woman.
I think it's quite acceptable for a woman to go out alone and meet people. Live your life the way you see fit! My only concern for you single females is safety issues i.e. getting back to your vehicle late at night...and, of course, not getting loaded and driving. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/27/2008 2:50:07 PM | | Hmmm maybe because she JUST WANTS TO GO TO A BAR Tea 4 two get off her back already. | |
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