| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 11/13/2008 2:59:33 AM | It depends if you can find the right place. You need somewhere with the right atmosphere, preferably quite busy so it isnt everyone sat in their own isolated groups and you at your own table.
I have done it, I found a pub with a busy and friendly atmosphere and a pool table. It was winner stays on, so I put money on the table to take a turn. Im still friends with the guys I played pool with and their other friends.
Its not easy to find somewhere like that though. I work away a lot and get sick of hotel rooms (which can be claustrophobic or worse you end up listening to the happy couple next door!)so Ive also been in places where Ive felt really uncomfortable because everyone stuck very much to their own groups, and places where I felt like meat with every guy hitting on me. In one town I ended up in a gay bar just so I WOULD be left alone! Actually, I had a good night with a friendly bunch in there!
I would reccomend taking something to read, just in case you need it... I always feel like I have to finish my drink and not rush even if I cant wait to get out!
Also, personally, Ive found there just arent many local members for me, but have you thought of joining sites like mutual friends and drinking partners to find other local women who are in a similar boat who you could go with? | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:40:33 PM | | If any male chauvinist tells you that, tell him to go stuff himself. How come it's okay for men to go cruising, but wrong for women to be proactive in meeting men? This is like the old b.s. that guys should phone women, not the other way round. Or that women shouldn't ask men to dance. Outdated, sexist hogwash. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:29:52 PM | | Realistically, there shouldn't be any stigma in going to bars alone. I think what people are misconstruing is that you're not going to 'pick up' at a bar, you're going to see a band or have a drink or have good conversation. There is nothing wrong with that. It just takes a little courage to do what you want and not think of how it looks to other people. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:50:35 AM | I'd feel very uncomfortable doing it and that is one of the main reasons I joined the computer world of dating. Not that I think bars are the ideal place to meet men but there are plenty of bars that are not just hook-up places plus, I love watching live bands too.
But I have no female friends really that are single or want to go out to a bar, so I don't usually go out. I've often thought about trying to get some women together from my state that are on POF and organizing a once a month girls night out. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:55:54 PM | I use to go to the bar's alone back in the 80's but then I would usually run into a (male freind) so I was never really alone and since it was our regular hang out if he wasn't there all other men knew to leave me alone. I am not into the bar scene anymore but if I want to see a movie or go to a festival and no one to go with I go solo. I usually have a better time bymself as usually meet people or if I am not in the mood to socalize people will usually get the hint say hi and move on. I have come to realize that people are too busy on their cell phones to notice I am alone lol. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:17:17 AM | ^^^I have learned in general most people are too wrapped up in their own thing to notice you are alone, or if they do notice - to actually care. It's not the big deal some tend to think it is when it's happening. Cell phone or not, people are generally preoccupied with themselves and what's happening in that universe.
Example: you're thinking "oh man everyone's noticing I'm alone"
Others are thinking stuff like "I wonder if there's a wait in this restaurant" or "I wonder if this movie's gonna suck" or "I wonder what my dog's doing at home without me"
That's how far from what you imagine they're think the truth actually is....lol
I know this because when I am out either alone or with friends I couldn't recall anyone else ever being alone or doing anything that was memorable to me. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:15:53 PM | | I wish more women did go out by theirself. I work a job that makes me travel a good bit and it is really hard to meet single women where I live. So I wish more would go out by theirself, which would make it able for me to meet single women, talk to them and see if we would like to be friends or go out sometime for dinner. When I do go to a bar, most of the time there is just couples or women out with their friends. If more women did it, it would be more acceptable. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/10/2008 1:42:28 AM | I go out to bars (karaoke or otherwise) alone and have done for years. Sadly, most of the people I know are married and/or have kids. SO, that just leaves me to go it alone. Or, I suggest lets go out and everyone wants to stay in. Well, I'm not much of a follower when I really want to do something. I've never run into any problems. I never go to a place I've never been to before alone and I always park where there is a street light. If I feel uncomfortable, I get someone from the bar (security guys in some places) to walk me to my car. This way, i'm never tied down to the whims of others. I come and go as I please and no whinny "Lets go already" or "Can't we stay longer" crap.
Interestingly, I go to the same bars (when I go to bars anymore, since I'm sort of out of the scene these days) often enough that bartenders/ owners/ bands, ect know me. Everyone chats with me and I normally meet new people while I'm there. So I'm rarely sitting alone for any length of time. I never go or stay anywhere where I feel uncomfortable. And yes, I went to a few bars in D.C. alone. (putting that out there since I'm living in the middle of no where these days) Make friends when you get there. Don't let other people hold you back from going out if you want.
In fact, a few years ago I had a seasonal job in PA. I only had one day off a week and could not wait to get the heck off the grounds! So, sometimes, I'd go to the matinee movies and stay all day. (Hard to make friends with the locals when you're only going to be somewhere for 9 weeks..) So, go to a restaurant or movie or bar, if you like. No one will care, and if they do, to heck with them. Do you want to be friends with someone of that sort of prudish mind set?
I will give you a piece of advice my mom gave me years ago, and I think it's true. "You'll never meet someone you will stay married to in a bar." You may meet someone you want to marry, but it most likely will not last. So, I don't go to bars looking for love or hook ups. I go to have fun.
Stay safe. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:59:05 AM | | Well it really should not matter but i guess in the real world it depends what kind of bar it is. I'm thinking if it is a local bar where she may be a regular then it probably would not make a difference. | |
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Diva77
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Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 135 | |
| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/10/2008 9:43:16 AM | | To the OP, if it's music and a good night out you are looking for, why not check out local music clubs? There are lounges, and clubs, that hold coffee house nights, or jam sessions or small concerts. Most venues serve alcohol if you're looking for a drink. There's a place here in Edmonton, Yardbird Suite, a great jazz club set up like a restaurant with tables perfect for sitting on your own, or with a small group of friends. I don't go to bars alone - very rarely even go to the bars. It's just not that safe in this day and age with date rape drugs, fights and stabbings that seem to happen a lot lately. Try a music venue, definitely a better scene and more fun imo. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/10/2008 3:03:02 PM | I don't see it as strange if a woman goes out alone to a bar or something like that. Frankly at my age (35) I imagine the lone woman is probably the one who isn't in a RL or marriage and yet all her friends are...so she's got no one available to hang out with.
In terms of dating/approach, rules haven't changed. You two make eye contact, she smiles, take a shot. If not, then leave her be.
If you get the opportunity to approach, don't assume that just because she's alone she's looking for a man to lay that night. I personally think if she wants sex she'll make that known to you rather quickly, but it's better to be a gentleman and charm her into giving a number or accepting an offer for a date. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/10/2008 4:56:22 PM | very similar thread was in the Dating Over 45 forum. boy, did it get heated!!
OP, go for it. just be careful and be safe. I've been going places by myself for a long time now. many of my friends married young, raised families, weren't into going out - not just bars, but anything including movies. beats sitting home alone!  | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/11/2008 10:23:02 PM | | Women at a bar by herself has an agenda....looking for sex, serious alcohol issues, looking to get preggo, trying to piss her ex off, or in vegas she is a pro...she is up to something.... | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/12/2008 2:44:21 PM |
Women at a bar by herself has an agenda....looking for sex, serious alcohol issues, looking to get preggo, trying to piss her ex off, or in vegas she is a pro...she is up to something....
Are you really THAT ignorant, dude? How would you know? Does your group home take field trips to bars?
Cindy O | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:13:34 PM |
Are you really THAT ignorant, dude? How would you know? Does your group home take field trips to bars?
Really I'm ignorant? I love when people tell the truth others get sooooo pissed off. Women esspecially. 
Tell me then what is a woman doing at a bar alone, seriously tell me, to chat with her mates? catch a game? get a lap dance? Tell me... | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:20:11 PM | | i used to travel on the road yearly, and now not so much, but if your by yourself, and you don't want to sit in the hotel room, you have to go out even if it is by yourself. i do admit depending on what part of the country you are in it is a little easier. but it's still hard going out by yourself. i do though, becaue it beats sitting at home alone. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:36:27 PM |
Tell me then what is a woman doing at a bar alone, seriously tell me, to chat with her mates? catch a game?
I can't speak for EVERY woman, but I, and lots of gals I know, might go to a bar for exactly those reasons...I don't think I've ever seen male lap dancers( for serious). Or to catch a band, or do karaoke.
Maybe "ignorant' isn't the word I want...could be you just have a piss poor, suspicious attitude about women. Your comment about a woman going alone to a bar looking to get "preggo" is about sickening. What kind of dumps do you hang out in, dude? Oh and I'm not pissed... I just don't like mindless double standards and misogynistic attitudes.
Cindy O | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:07:12 AM | | It can be done. Took alot of guts the first time. But on occasion i go to a pub, sit at the bar, and watch a game. Always end up making small talk with other people at the bar, and always enjoy it. No regrets. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:10:12 AM | I go out alone. BFD!
I only go to bars with dancing, as I don't drink anymore. I only go to a couple where I know some of the "locals" that also go alone and the employees. I go to dance (great cardio workout) and talk to adults. At no time does getting pregnant (I've got two, no more for me), giving lap dances (as a matter of fact, drunk men trying to freak me, is much more likely), or going home with "someone" (if they're drunk, my vibrator stays hard longer) cross my mind. Highlander is obviously a judgmental and quite possibly scorned boy with an obscured view of the modern independent woman. I wonder how that's working out for him??
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:30:43 AM | I went to a bar to see the christmas auction they were having there, surveyed the crowd and decided I didn't want to stay..
It is a good thing I didn't stay too, because my mother was cooking some food on the stove and it started smoking, she forgot about it, a fire could have started if I hadn't gone home in time..
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:20:37 AM |
Really I'm ignorant? I love when people tell the truth others get sooooo pissed off. Women esspecially.
Tell me then what is a woman doing at a bar alone, seriously tell me, to chat with her mates? catch a game? get a lap dance? Tell me...
I go to a bar to play pool. If no one is at the table I get in some practice. If I want to check out a new place and don't see a pool table I leave. If fools like you bug me they get the hint quick that I am there for the table. There is one place I go that I don't like playing pool, but the Karaoke is actually good most of the time. If I get there and none of the good singers are there I will leave, even if I am leaving a drink barely touched...LOL
If you think women go to bars looking for sex you are so clueless, almost as bad as the men that think women need to look online for sex. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:36:45 AM |
Really I'm ignorant?
Sorta.
I love when people tell the truth others get sooooo pissed off. Women esspecially.
Of course you love it. I suspect that's why you wrote it in the first place, to stir shit up. Congratulations.
Tell me then what is a woman doing at a bar alone, seriously tell me, to chat with her mates? catch a game? get a lap dance? Tell me...
Ok....
If I was alone, my friends wouldn't be there. But I can certainly make new ones, if I am in the mood to chat.
I have gone to many places to catch games on the tube when I feel like being out in a sportsbar atmosphere.
And if there's a place locally where I could get a good lapdance from a hot man, I'd be there early. lol
If you think women go to bars looking for sex you are so clueless, almost as bad as the men that think women need to look online for sex.
True, most women either got laid before they went to the bar, are planning to have sex after the bars close before they even go out, or have no intention on sleeping with anyone anywhere.
Eh, truth be told, there's not much to pick from even if you were planning to do this, online or in the bars. Most of us would have to get it elsewhere. | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:23:06 AM |
Women at a bar by herself has an agenda....looking for sex, serious alcohol issues, looking to get preggo, trying to piss her ex off, or in vegas she is a pro...she is up to something....
Preach on , brother. How dare a women try to enjoy herself , their role in life is to cook and clean. And going to a bar , no less. That's a place for menfolk to gather. Our fault for letting them drive and vote, now they've got it into their pretty little heads that they're somehow equal to us.
Highlander is obviously a judgmental and quite possibly scorned boy with an obscured view of the modern independent woman. I wonder how that's working out for him??
Apparently not that well , as he's on a dating website ;) | |
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| Women going to bars alone
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:44:59 PM |
Preach on , brother. How dare a women try to enjoy herself , their role in life is to cook and clean. And going to a bar , no less. That's a place for menfolk to gather. Our fault for letting them drive and vote, now they've got it into their pretty little heads that they're somehow equal to us. | |
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