| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 3:53:44 PM | I say go and find someone who will appreciate being with you instead of running you down. It might make him feel superior to you to do that. You deserve someone who will be complimenting you all the time.
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 4:06:26 PM | I think he's doing it so you think no one else will want you and you stay with him.
He sounds like an a$$ and I would run far far away~
Please do not listen to that FreeTime guy. He is obviously just as bad as your boyfriend. He knows he could never have a girl as young and beautiful as you. They do it to make themselves feel better.
People should look in the mirror before they start throwing stones.
EDIT:
OP I just saw this in a recent post of yours... one that you posted AFTER you started this thread.
I am happy to say I have found someone who is PROUD to call me their girlfriend.
This CAN'T be the same guy !?!?!?! Don't kid yourself. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 4:12:25 PM | | he is obviously way too much of a child too be using such middle school attacks, you aren't dating a 40 year old ma hon, your dating a middle schooler in a 40 year olds body, kick his ass to the curb, find someone closer to your age, within 10 years of it or so, and date someone from your own generation, he is old enough to be your damn father!!! | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 4:17:46 PM | He's insecure and he's trying to control you by making you feel bad about yourself.
Get rid of him, you found yourself a loser.... | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 4:28:24 PM | | And you are with this man why? It certainly can't be because he makes you feel so loved and special. I think you are still carrying around bad self esteem from when you were heavier. For your own sake lose the bad self image like you did the weight. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 4:47:31 PM | OP,
My advice would be to get away from this person as quickly as possible. The damage that his name calling is doing to your self esteem will take longer to cure than any addiction and take longer to heal than a black eye or broken arm. As others have said, it is VERBAL ABUSE and an attempt to control you by insulting you.
You have accomplished so much...don't let him take it away from you.
Surround yourself with positive people and get away from him. He is doing you no favors! DO IT NOW!
Best of Luck! | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:07:16 PM | | Ditch this loser, he's trying to pull you down to his level. You want to be with someone who gives you a boost, somebody positive and loving. This guy sounds toxic to me. Good luck. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:14:54 PM | OP: When picking a partner we want someone that respects us. Surely he doesn't if he compares your dressing to that of a "whore", and makes comments that belittles your person.
You are on a journey of sobriety, and you should be surrounding yourself with a good support system. Positive energy and people are the ones you have to gravitate towards, and eliminating those that are not conducive for your goals/happiness.
One day at a time........................ | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:50:12 PM | freetime2bme Getting fat? Excuse me? I have LOST six pounds since we have been dating. I eat better than ever and I WORK OUT.. did I mention he is the FAT ONE?
OP - You don't have to explain yourself to him. What pleases him is not important and this thread is not about what he thinks a woman should be.
Also what pleases your BF is not important. Let him date some stick anorexic with vomit on her breath, rotting teeth, and thinning hair that dresses like a nun and is frigid because she thinks she's too fat to let him see her naked. How you dress and want to look is your choice. If he doesn't like it, he shouldn't be dating you. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 7:35:26 PM | Op, No man has earned the right to make you feel bad about your self. He is controlling you with his hurtful name calling, so you would not dump his dumb as-. Respect is a huge part of being in love no matter what the age. Hurtful name calling even in fun still hurts & should not be tolerated.
Blessings always, be safe
hugs always | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/9/2008 7:41:25 PM | | Why would you stay with someone who tears you down? Aren't you worth more than that? | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:53:37 PM | So did he help you become a better person?
My last GF had some major issues I had to sort out for her in addition I had to help her out with basic things like how to live healthy.
Never remember putting her down, though she said I was a little bit tough on some things like going to the gym with me.
If hes being an ass, even if its to try to help you out, it still isn't worth it. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/10/2008 2:40:55 PM | My question is, is he doing it to hurt my feelings?
No. He's doing it because you let him.
And is it so I never leave him?
Are you saying you would never leave him because he calls you names?
Time for a reality check IMO. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/10/2008 3:08:56 PM | | Drop him, drop him, drop him! You can do so much better. Stop wasting your time. You're such a beautiful woman. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:13:32 PM | OP: You have a lot of good advice here but truly, any man that calls you names or is verbally abusive to you in any way is insecure within himself. His twisted thinking is if he hurts you with words, your self-esteem will sink so low that you'll never think anyone will want you. I've met a few men on here as well as dated a few slugs that have tried that crap on me. They know they can't keep anyone as beautiful as you for long due to their inadequacies as men, so they try to hurt you with words over and over again to get you to stay.
Get as far away from him as you can. He is toxic to you and I've already met my quota of poisonous, toxic relationships/friendships for the year.
Now, if I could only lower my truck insurance by year end as well, then my job here is done.
Sans | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:02:59 PM | OP
After reading your profile and a post on another thread, I have to wonder how much you value yourself and more importantly, by which yardstick are you measuring your self-worth.
This book might hold your attention - "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:27:37 AM | | 3 pages. Looks like it's unanimous, your man is an ass.hole! You're hot, definitely not fat at all judging by your pictures. He's obviously saying this because he knows you're too good for him so he thinks if he makes you feel bad about yourself you'll think you can't do better than him. You can do way better, you deserve someone who will tell you how beautiful you are. Dump him. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 1:02:28 AM |
My boyfriend is a big kid at heart. He is a 40 year old man but is very childish.
This is a big reason why you see some guys go for much younger girls. They're too immature for women their own age. Some guys and girls will disagree but being the one on the outside looking in on many of these relationships, knowing both the guy my age going out with a young girl and girls my age going out with much older guys. They ALL have this in common.
He will say things like "your fat and ugly." "you are dressed like a whore" mean while I will be wearing a sweater. I used to be very over weight so him calling me fat really hurts my feelings. I have told him how I felt and he doesn't take me seriously. My question is, is he doing it to hurt my feelings? And is it so I never leave him?
This is another thing I've seen. Since he is older he feels more in power of you.
Get rid of him and fast. Possibly even seek come counseling. You're in an abusive relationship, a lot of us have been there. Counseling will benefit you and help you get through any damage his abuse may have done as well as help you feel more confident going into a new relationship, when ready. It is honestly best to stick to guys closer to your age. Definitely much closer then twenty years older.
You're a beautiful girl with a great body many women wish they had. Things like this tend to happen to some of the best people. Be strong and get away from him. You deserves so much better. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:41:53 AM | Addiction is a different thing from drinking. Don't run yourself down. As it happens you are clearly not my type or age so take this at face value. Get out. Now. He will do things that are worse. His problems are bigger than yours. If you have the willpower to do what you have done, you can and will go further. Do not look back. You look fine. Continue education. Concetrate on speech habits.
One member of my family was a bottle-a-day spirits person when younger. Became a person if widely respected wisdom.
Another also drank like a fish and hung with some semi-retired blaggers. Got to be a big wheel in an international computer company.
Another who I employed one summer put all the pay I paid up their nose. Now doing the cleverest data-mining-management for a big telco.
One, when she was 14, was getting free drinking by challenging 20 stone bikers to drink under the table (and invariably winning).
A step-family member recently bred. A natural birth. As her partner said "That must be the first time in her life she said "No drugs"". She's in charge of Pacific licensing and antipiracy for another big software company.
You have nothing to lose but your shackles. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:15:07 AM | | Well, Mr. Grumpy that gives me hope for my chemically dependent daughter | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:20:30 AM | It may take work. Or things may just change drift. It may also depend on how long the dependency has enured to date.
Good luck. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:27:47 PM | He is probably doing it to make himself feel "better than you". This is so insanely childish. I would rather be an old cat lady than put up with that kind of shit.
He isn't a big kid at heart. He sounds like an insecure little BOY.
If you stay with him, you will have to hear it. It is your choice. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:14:25 PM | OP a man who loves you will not make you feel bad about yourself, make you cry or feel insecure.
I think this man you are dating, is a bully and needs to be kicked to the curb, because you deserve better. I would not put up with his crap, and that line about him being a big kid at heart will just not cut it.
I think he is more than childish, he is rude and insulting. Just remember that many battered women become that way, becuase they let their men get away with verbal abuse and then it intensifies.
People treat us how we let them - its time for you to change and not allow this to go on. If he will not change - you change................boyfriends and let this man become someone elses problelm. | |
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| Hurtful Name Calling.
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:46:31 PM | My boyfriend is a big kid at heart. He is a 40 year old man but is very childish. He often calls me names and makes me feel very insecure. He will say things like "your fat and ugly." "you are dressed like a whore" mean while I will be wearing a sweater.
I disagree with you about your boyfriend being a "big kid". I think that, since he's managed to strongly attract a beautiful woman like yourself, he must be quite mature and intelligent.
So assuming you're enjoying the thrill of this kind of relationship, I'd say stay with him.
Personally this post confirms a few things I've come to believe about women.
A) Women don't care about a guy's looks or youth
B) Woman go for guys with social power (in this case, he's confident enough to insult you, which is just one of several ways he displays power)
C) Following all the rules, being the "nice guy", picking up the pieces, etc is for chumps. If you want a hot girlfriend (like OP) don't be nice. | |
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