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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:23:43 AM | Agreed, Kyn and Silken Fire. I've had "friends" who've taken what they can get from me, then ****ed about me behind my back.
But I've also known people who offer to help and expect your soul in return.
I can only go on what the OP writes. I have no idea as to the true dynamics of his relationship with his roommate. Actually, neither do you. | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:47:56 AM | There are no free things in life...just a variety of costs 
For what you get from this woman, this is the price you pay--her nerosis, or whatever word you choose to explain it.
If it costs you too much, then its time to move out, and not worry about the friendship. If you two are together for what you get from each other, is it really a friendship, or a business deal?
(that's a rhetorical question, btw). | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:37:53 AM | | what you have there is a control freak, she needs to control everything in your life and of course you went right along with it.. move your stuff and get your own place. | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:44:33 PM | Wow, I wasnt looking for pity, I just looking for guidance. No, I havent used her, its not like I ASKED her for anything.
I NEVER ASKED.
She gave on the goodness of her heart, but at the same time, I felt like I should have done this on my own. I cant even fathom how you guys assumed Im using her? Basically what I did before it got to this point was cook, clean, walk the dog, feed the fish, water the plants, etc, etc.,and provided support when she needed it, but Im not sitting here trying to validate myself. I just needed to know how I could fix this mess I got myself into and how we can continue to be friends, even if its not under the same roof. That was basically it.
If you want the full details, I will post the 3-page letter she wrote to me so we can clear the air about her intentions. Will it make it better? I think not. | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:23:13 PM | OP... You say:
No, I havent used her, its not like I ASKED her for anything.
I NEVER ASKED.
In my earlier post #24, I said:
They have sad stories and prevail on kind-hearted people with some financial stability rather than to make the sacrifices that financially stable people make. They don't come right out and ask.
You don't have to "ask" a kind-hearted person for help... All you have to do is tell them how upset you are or how distressing something is for you, and IF they believe that you are worth it or that something they will share with you is worth it, they will help without your having to ask.
I have seen this in life and it's even played out on the judges' shows on t.v. Inevitably, the judges ask, "why do you think she should have given you this money?" and 9 times out of 10, the guy comes back with "SHE chose to... I never ASKED her for it". And 9 out of 10 times, the judge says, "You KNEW that she was being kind. You KNEW that they cared about you. Pay her (or him) what you owe them."
Once again, your lack of appreciation and attempt to justify your lack of appreciation while you pretend that she is just some sick thing with a hero complex, is rather appalling. So what if you walked the dog, fed the fish and provided support for her? She probably did those things AND cleaned house, worked, drove you around, did the laundry AND loaned you money you haven't paid back. Should she have to pay for you to do the things that friends do?
If you truly want to keep the friendship, pay her back what you owe her IN FULL before you do one more extranneous thing that is just for you. I've now read a number of your threads where you have very little good to say about her other than that she is a control freak and if you felt that way about her, you had no business taking advantage of her kindness or her money. When you point a finger at someone else, there are three others pointing right back at you.
If you weren't using her, pay her back FIRST... | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:31:21 PM | | I wanted, too, to join a gym, but with my "friend". All was well till we had a tiff, and she said that all I wanted to join for was to check out the other women!! Maybe your "friens" is thinking along the same lines and has a stronger attachment to you than you realize. Ponder that!!! Good luck. | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:33:08 PM | @ SilkenFire
I guess you obviously missed the post where I CLEARLY said I want to pay back everything I owe her. | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:43:18 PM |
I guess you obviously missed the post where I CLEARLY said I want to pay back everything I owe her.
Then, that's what you should be doing FIRST... don't you think? Saying you "want to" and doing so are 2 different things.
And if she bought you that car 2 and 1/2 years ago, that's a long time for the loan to be outstanding. I read that you've paid her half but then you stipulate that the car only ran for a short while... as though that should factor into whether or not, she gets paid back.
If she put herself out and denied herself pleasures (such as joining a gym) in order to loan you that money, then it's only right she should not only be appreciated for doing so in a respectful way but she should also be the first to be paid.
It's only fair... | |
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| I Have Failed You as A Friend.
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:43:42 PM |
Anyways, I decided to sign up for the gym and my roommate lost it...I really dont know what her problem is/was, but I thought as long as she got her rent and whatnot, things would be cool.
And you don't agree with what I said about emotional support and Prozac in one of the other threads?
I lived with her for 2 1/2 years and we have had our issues but none too serious. Im the sufficient one, not asking for too much help, and shes the type that needs constant attention and validation.
Attention and validation = emotional support. LOL!
Going places with her cuz she wanted to go, doing things cuz she wanted to, I was the a complete doormat for her...maybe because I liked doing things for her but at the same time, she was always saying that I didnt care about her or that I was going to forget about her when I move out.
Prozac. Pot. Psychiatrist. Not necessarily in the same order.
What did I do, or what am I doing wrong? Can I save our friendship?
She is ku-ku! Or, as I would like to put, "She is shacked-up in the wacko basket".
If I were you I would be trying to save my sanity, dignity and peace of mind. The psycho-b!tch isn't worthy of your time. | |
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