| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:51:33 AM | I look at it this way OP...
You really should always put your best foot forward...
However if you can't handle my worst then you don't deserve my best
Great thread too OP! | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:34:42 AM | | No I think that is wrong, that is what landed me with a guys who cheated on me for many years...mybe I was a bit naive but I also thought that he was the greatest...I put my trust in this guy because of the fact that he " showed me who he wanted me to think he was" not of who he really was. Mind you I don't go around spilling my guts, but if a guy truely wants to know who I am I'm not about to " pretend to be Perfect" cause not one person in this world is. And those who make themselves out to be perfect are just fooling themselves. Cause in the end they always get caught, then what do they have? | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:58:33 AM | *farts*
There. Now that you've seen my worse, anything else is sure to impress. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 11:04:40 AM | It is typical for people, when they meet new people in any kind of situation, to put their best foot forward, to be their best selves. But that means still being yourself, not someone else. It doesn't mean being dishonest or putting on a 'false face.'
A lot of people, especially when they are wanting to meet people to date and wanting someone to love or like them, a lot of people can be quite false. I'm not sure they even realize how false they are being or that this is not a good idea. At some point, the real you emerges and the person who cared for the unreal you will not be happy...so what is the point?
Being your best self at first, and then getting comfortable enough with someone to allow your not so best sides to show, this is what getting close to someone is. The person I want to get close to won't be perfect and neither am I. I don't present a false persona, but before I get close to anyone, I suppose I present my best self. Most people don't start out by listing all their worst characteristics. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 11:09:47 AM | Right. I will shave my legs every day while we are dating, but once I really get to know you it's 3 times/week, tops.
Don't even ask me about wintertime. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:55:07 PM | | Let's face it. People are on these sites for a reason. Therefore, most people put their best face on to make a good impression. They also write their profiles to generate interest. That's all well and good. But the acid test is when you meet them. Sometimes they're the genuine article. A lot of times they're just "all blow and no go". | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 1:15:00 PM | it takes a life time to really get to know someone and even then, i doubt it's truly possible in totality
that's part of the adventure isn't it?
(and it can be a fun adventure... as long as it's not a murder mystery or horror novel  ) | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 3:02:37 PM | Very few people are themselves all of the time. They will change their personalities according to the environment. I am NOT one of them and sometimes I wish I was. It honestly gets me in trouble a lot. If you meet me in the store, my house, online, church with my kids etc I am me. My family hates it. They tell me to tone down. Watch myself. Dont embarrass them. Well to damn bad if who I am and what I think embarrasses someone. I will not put a sock in it and if anyone ever expects me to STFU they can walk away. I dont wear designer clothes but my bank account is fat hahaha. I just fought with expedia and got my refund after telling them the are incompetent minimum wage employees and I will just call Visa and cancel charges then file a small claims action for the difference of the change of flight. Send out my food cold and I dont pay. If your child is dirty I will tell you. If that makes me a b1tch so be it but you will damn well know it on the first date. I wont play Miss shy and submissive...Dont know how hahaha
My favorite saying ever...You dont ever know a person until you divorce them! | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 3:26:56 PM |
Well. Here it goes:
"I act like an ass sometimes"
Feel better? At least now you can all say that someone was up front with you.
LMAO ~  Funnny!!
Very few people are themselves all of the time.
Hmmm. I'm myself 100% of the time. However, I do evolve constantly. So "who" am I??? Depends on the day and a lot of other things. I think it would be dull, boring, and close to impossible to actually "act" in any particular way. I'm all lady in public, that never changes. I'm a faithful confidante, and I'm fiercely loyal. Those aren't things that will ever change, but those aren't things I need to display either. Those are traits that are non-negotiable, non-moveable and ingrained. The rest? Well, who you think you know today, might be slightly to drastically changed tomorrow depending on what phase of a "journey of self" I'm on at that particular time. Most often my changes are positive ~ but there have been people who don't like change that find me impossible to deal with and very problematic. It's a wonderful weeding-out tool. The people I treasure are evolutionists, much like myself. We take each other on new journeys whenever we encounter one another. There's nothing better than knowing someone and learning about them all at the same time. (At least for me.)  | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:47:37 PM | verygreeneyez...I agree parts of your post. I am afraid mine came across like I am not a lady. I would be lying if I say I always cross my legs in a dress and never cuss but not displaying traits to a person you are dating IS putting on a mask. Whats wrong with showing that you are a "faithful confidante and fiercely loyal" A stranger should just assume, trust or take your word for it without and proof? You better be willing to show me what you have step up to the plate put your money where your mouth is blah blah blah because I sure as hell do.
Just my 2 cents...actually I am more valuable then that.... it is worth a buck | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:13:33 PM |
Msg: 8 -- um, i find this controlling and scary.
Hmm, controlling, yes. But scary? I fail to see why. You and I are obviously incompatible, so you and I will most likely will never meet. Besides, you seem up-front and honest. That being the case, you have nothing to fear from me. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:24:05 PM |
Msg: 29 -- if you can't handle my worst then you don't deserve my best
I LOVE that line!!!! I just may steal it from you!!!! | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:56:53 PM | And the top answer is a tie! lmao OMG OMG OMG
ok, first - Pull my finger!! frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! now - kiss me before I brush my fangs and yes I do mean while I scratch my arse! .. Ok this is a good thread, but it's brought out, hmmm Me! lol
I am always me, drives some people to distraction! esp women my age! lmao - I can't tell you how many times I've heard "you can't have grey hair!" - umm but I do!
Oh yeah, I promised my nominees for best answers, so here they are:
Right. I will shave my legs every day while we are dating, but once I really get to know you it's 3 times/week, tops.
Don't even ask me about wintertime
and -
No one comes up to you and says "I act like an ass sometimes"
Well. Here it goes:
"I act like an ass sometimes"
Feel better? At least now you can all say that someone was up front with you.
Good rule of thumb though.. act like YOU. Who cares who accepts it. YOU are the one that hasta live in your skin... not random everyone elses
 OMG toooo funny
I am so totally who I am and find the phonies both booring and confusing, for the same reason OP posted this thread - I often wonder "don't they realize that they're presenting an illusion and that they'll never really feel accepted or loved until they show their true selves?" And "If they misrepresent themselves from the get go, how do they expect to be trusted?" And then I just laugh, shake my head, pop a roofy in my tea and take advantage of me, cuz I know I want me! lol
Sorry OP, couldn't help it - just bein me! lol .. I really can't help it
A.S.is
... good thread .. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:01:49 PM |
No one comes up to you and says "I act like an ass sometimes"
I echo Mariachi: "I act like an ass sometimes."
I am also brusque, blunt, honest, depressed once or twice a year, and I need time to myself. I am selfish and I will NEVER give you the last bite. I am also egocentric and vain. I jump to conclusions and I don't trust people.
I am sure there is more--I'll get back to you. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:00:40 PM | verygreeneyez...I agree parts of your post. I am afraid mine came across like I am not a lady. I would be lying if I say I always cross my legs in a dress and never cuss but not displaying traits to a person you are dating IS putting on a mask. Whats wrong with showing that you are a "faithful confidante and fiercely loyal" A stranger should just assume, trust or take your word for it without and proof? You better be willing to show me what you have step up to the plate put your money where your mouth is blah blah blah because I sure as hell do.
Just my 2 cents...actually I am more valuable then that.... it is worth a buck
Wow, call me clueless.  I wasn't directing my post to you ~ it was a direct answer to the OP and post #1 ~ I just used one line of your post rather than typing it myself as a question. Your post didn't ring "not a lady" to me, I don't make broad assumptions via one post in a public forum. Nor would I have stated that even if I thought it. I was merely stating a few traits of mine that are not-subject to change, it had nothing to do with you or your post for that matter.
A stranger should just assume, trust or take your word for it without and proof? You better be willing to show me what you have step up to the plate put your money where your mouth is blah blah blah because I sure as hell do.
I think your way is great if it works for you. That's really all that matters. I think that is the glory of people ~ we can choose who/when/why/etc., to have/keep certain people in our lives. Like-minds seem to work best for me. Maybe it's the same for you ~ someone who thinks along the same lines you do. As I said, these things are wonderful "weeding out" options. JMO  | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:18:12 PM |
Why do people need to wear a mask to be someone else? Why cant you....be you?
Good question OP. I often wonder that myself. I am an open book pretty much and honesty is my #1 personal value. What you see is what you get. I don't try to be different to impress someone because even if it would work and did impress them, it would be based on a lie and time always brings the truth to the surface.
Perhaps some people still don't know themselves well enough or are not confident enough to be who they are. Perhaps being who they are isn't bringing them what they seek so they try different things. My philosophy is that I bring the true me to everything I encounter cause I just don't have the enegry to keep up a facade to make someone like me. I am who I am and I know that my guy is out there already... when we do find each other we will have those same values and be comfortable with one another because it's all on the table... no masks, no pretense... just simply who we are. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:23:23 PM | People present themselves on their best behavior when they meet someone...we all have our faults though...from leaving that towel on that bathroom floor to sneaking a peek at the other persons cell phone to see who they have texted?
It depends on our expectations of how fellow human beings act or follow a "script" of keeping the niceness in the relationship.
Our behaviors are stimulated by the other persons PRESSING BUTTONS until the "honeymoon" period of the relationship has to go BAH BYE
I ready your past posted...and was disturbed about "I left out that she works in a corporate office with a lot of high-end people, whereas I work at restaurant selling salads. Problem is that the job I work is cutting my hours and hiring more people(dosent make sense, does it?), and I want to go back into the military. Thats the the main reason Im doing the gym thing so I can get to my target weight, and pay off all I owe to her."
Perhaps your self esteem needs a tuneup.....
I can honestly say that I am drained from all the drama going on around here, and I do need a change of scenery, but lets stay on-topic.
I have never changed myself to impress a person, basically what you see is what you get...I guess relating to my other thread, she should have realized that.....that I was was comfortable with myself. She made it clear that she isnt comfortable with me being me, and Im sorry for that. Its a lesson learned, I suppose.
And thanks to you all, for giving me kudos on my thread-posting skills....lol
You guys are telling the truth...right? :blah: | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:37:50 PM | | When I dont know someone I am not being triggered by this or that as much as I might be if I got to know them. I cannot know the extent of a man's ability to be present, kind, warm, gentle, honest, interested etc in one fell swoop. I need to interact. Sometimes I hit a glitch early and sometimes it takes more time. Same way for them I imagine, they do not know my foibles, habits, misunderstandings and damage and whether it is something they can have loving acceptance for. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:02:46 PM |
Msg: 38 -- I can't tell you how many times I've heard "you can't have grey hair!" - umm but I do!
I have EXTREME difficulty understanding this; why are so MANY folk seemingly distressed about grey hair? Grey is MERELY a color, like all others. Plus, it is one of the NATURAL colors of human hair.
If the woman is attractive and her hair color is natural, I fail to see the concern. BTW, I **HATE** the unnatural DYED colors, GREEN, PURPLE, BLUE, and other such colors. Now THOSE are UGLY. No human is born with such colors. And without DYEING, NONE will DIE sporting such colors.
My favorite hair color is NATURAL, UNdyed. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:14:41 PM |
Msg: 42 -- I bring the true me to everything I encounter cause I just don't have the enegry to keep up a facade to make someone like me.
I don't have such energy either. Wow, imagine the stamina required to remember ALL lies and all ties to them, COMBINED with maintaining a facade. I don't know how some folk do it, and I don't really care. Too much work is involved. I just want to be ME, WITHOUT any facade and without the stress of maintaining the ILLUSION of truth concerning any lies.
I don't deal well with stress, so I try not to cause myself any. Illusions are too difficult to maintain and lies are too difficult to hide. I choose not to waste the effort. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:43:18 PM |
Msg: 44 -- I cannot know the extent of a man's ability to be present, kind, warm, gentle, honest, interested etc in one fell swoop. I need to interact.
I think this is typical of human response to the opposite sex. I have NO CLUE of a woman's ability to do the same. I initiate interaction and assess her responses. If she fails my criteria I just move on and I presume incompatibility.
Sometimes I hit a glitch early and sometimes it takes more time.
The earlier the glitch the better. Less waste of my precious time in the quest of my search. For this reason, I prefer a woman to be BRAZENLY **HONEST** with me as EARLY as possible. If she doesn't want me, I most CERTAINLY don't want her.
I personally base ALL on the first encounter. If we have a MUTUAL attraction, commonly called "sparks" or "chemistry", then we have reason for a second encounter. If such a thing does NOT exist between us, then there is NO cause for another meeting.
they do not know my foibles, habits, misunderstandings and damage and whether it is something they can have loving acceptance for.
I think mention of such is secondary to mutual attraction and compatibility. Those two are KEY. Of course, ALL depends on MUTUAL LOVE.
So, here it is in my distilled analysis:
MUTUAL LOVE
MUTUAL ATTRACTION
COMPATIBILITY
**NOTHING** can compete with THESE **THREE**. IF they ALL can be maintained throughout the relationship, it WILL be ideal for both involved.
HOWEVER, if ONE should fail, the relationship fails, regardless of the desire of either or both to attempt to maintain the relationship. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:48:12 PM | LOL - well I don't "*Hate*" any colour, I prefer (for myself) natural - I have friends who have various colours in their hair and I think it's cool too! To each their own and some like green or blue hair. There are soooo many more important things to worry about than someones hair colour.
Silly humans... 
A.S.is
here, this pretty much sums it up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1TVOXdNkFo | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:48:25 PM | | I think sometimes people are scared to be him/herself because dating is kind of like going to an interview---Sometimes the woman or man will like you and sometimes he/she doesn't. It's win/loser situation. Going out on a date should be fun, not stressful, because you are getting to know someone new and building a possible foundation to the relationship. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:50:05 PM | | I think sometimes people are scared to be him/herself because dating is kind of like going to an interview---Sometimes the woman or man will like you and sometimes he/she doesn't. It's win/loser situation. Going out on a date should be fun, not stressful, because you are getting to know someone new and building a possible foundation to the relationship. | |
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| I Thought I Knew You
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:55:46 PM | It takes too much time and effort to be "someone else"....... im much to lazy for that.
I think I'll just be myself
I do know a few masked men.......a couple on here. But it is halloween. | |
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