| | Why do men force themselves upon you?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | msg23... I beg your pardon RockStaress, you post a very degrading experienced and bashing men like they are all creeps. Your qoute>> MOST ON HERE AREN'T THINKING WITH THEIR HEADS.THERE IS SUCH THINGS AS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK<<< You should have told that to your self, you open yourself to peoples opinions ,they expressed their impression on you. At least there is an improvement on the photo profiles, that pic you are sticking out your tongue it sure is a "come on" to some guys that are#######. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:03:04 PM | OP: If this happens on your first date, do not get in their car. You do not know them nor their intentions.
Always go in separate cars/transportation and meet in a mutual/public place. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:30:47 PM | | Op, I have to say that this is a pointless thread. First dates are to discover whether you're a match or not. If you date a man, who you feel is not a match, don't go out with him again. So, what's the problem? | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:46:38 PM | The problem dear Ren Man is that some men ( and it is quite a few) do see if they can get you alone, liquor you up, get you in a vulnerable situation, and physically force themselves on you when you aren`t expecting it. Then you start screaming, and saying get off or no or get in a big scene-----------Who in the HELL wants or enjoys that. That is what the big deal is. It is damned scary. Then we have to keep our guard up, distrust, and watch these **stards every move to make sure he isnt going to f----ing rape us. That is what the big deal is. And the guys scare the crap out of the woman, has her crying, and laughs it off. Gee no wonder women are paranoid to date.
Extremely insensitive of a man to wonder what the big deal about this behavior is. "Oh well, guess not a love connection." Good fricking grief . That is the lamest crappiest attitude I have heard on here.
Is rape a big deal? Or is that okay too? Hey it`s just sex. Shrug it off right? | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:11:51 PM |
Op, I have to say that this is a pointless thread. First dates are to discover whether you're a match or not. If you date a man, who you feel is not a match, don't go out with him again. So, what's the problem?
The problem is that this sort of behavior borders on assault. There's no consent involved. Why on earth would someone do that to another person?! | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:17:52 PM | | OP, first thing I'd suggest is that you not get into a vehicle or anywhere else where you are somewhat isolated with a man you don't know well. Learn some body language cues, especially your own and figure out what your body language is saying to make sure you aren't giving out mixed signals. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:40:37 PM | exactly, i tried posting somethin and pof thinks i needed attention im like no i just need answers, advice, or opinions thats it! i was angry about what i was gonna post and the admin is such a ****in ***hole i told him off!
ive had that happen to me, some guy ran his tongue down my throat im like what r u doin? he said i thought u liked it then compared me to his ex gf/**** buddies im like just becuz they like it doesnt mean i do. i find it very rude, that to me sounds like a potential rapist if u ask me! | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:15:22 PM |
exactly, i tried posting somethin and pof thinks i needed attention im like no i just need answers,...
There are some people with very simplistic mindsets who think they've got it all figured out.
Don't try to tell them there are other possibilities!
It is indeed a rather serious subject, not necessarily a call for attention. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:22:25 PM | i have a good question
why aren' there more women forcing themselves on men ?
-granted sitting in a car with a stranger just screams you want him, sorry to say but i agree with others that it was a bad error in judgement | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:27:57 PM |
I need to write this because I want to know why men do this. You go on a date. I mean your very first date with a guy. Your together, you really don't know each other cause your not really communicating. And when you are communicating to him. He seems to let it go in one ear and out the other. Its like he is only dating you to use you or to do something your not comfortable with. Well your sitting there, for example in the car and your just talking and he hugs you and then all of the sudden he forces himself down your throat and you didn't even expect it to happen in that type of manner.
Again these are generalisations, if a guy done that to you he's a**** that's plain and simple as that. At the end of the day, that's disrespectful and I would never even think of doing that to any lassie / woman. The thing is you need to word it in a way that not all men are like that.
Hey I don't mind a man kissing me, but I sure the hell don't like it when he forces himself upon me and shoves his tongue down my throat and keeps insisting I am enjoying it. When in actual reality I wish this man was not doing this to me. I just don't understand why a man is like this on the first date. You don't know each other and your trying to communicate with him about you and he isn't even taking it to heart. Its more like its going in one ear and out the other.
No point wasting time with someone like that, end of the day he can barely listen to a word you're saying and no doubt will forget it. Don't understand why either, end of the day the only logical reasoning behind that would be he wants in your pants end of story, and once he'd get that he'd probably lose the interest he had. Waste of space. Guys like that are the type that try and run me down, i.e you're not manly enough if you do not behave in that manner, fact is, behaving in that manner isn't going to get them anywhere. And the stupid thing is, he'd either go away and lie about it or he'd talk about it to a friend or some random other guy and boast and then call 'her' (you) a stupid ****, when in real fact, it's their own stupid fault.
That bothers me more than anything because it tells me he isn't in this for me or for a relationship. I am not a booty call, nor am I just gonna let any man do this to me. I guarntee this will not happen again. Worst thing to do is force yourself upon me. Especially when I don't even know you. These men I prefer not to be around. Cause they are out for one thing. They aren't in it because they like me for me and the person I am in on the inside. They are only in it cause they think I am a easy piece and they think they can push themselves on me and then leave me hanging and never hear from them again. This has happened and I guarntee you it will not happen again. DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF UPON ME PERIOD!!!
Sorry to hear that you came across that kind of guy, complete waste of space, a complete arsehole, where he thinks he gets value out of this? I have no idea. Sad like I say it's arseholes like him that cling to arseholes and they all talk in amongst one another. Didn't you know already that over 90% guys are****? I could've told you that a long time ago. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:31:05 PM | It's not necessarily about sitting in a car, or putting yourself in that situation. The actual best thing to do is get to know them first through probably months of communication over phone or internet or whatever, quality time speaking together.
That way you can judge them by what they type and how they type it.
A good way to test a guy would be to disagree with him, test him, see how he can respond to that. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:34:08 PM |
i have a good question
why aren' there more women forcing themselves on men ?
I have no idea, I don't care about the forcing upon us, I think at the end of the day, I'd rather woman, lassies approached me rather than me approach them, it lets me know they're interested in me. I despise, and none of you woman would understand this in the slightest cause you aren't the one approaching, I despise being the one to approach, because think about it, you're the one that shows the interest, and all that is left in your mind is "what the hell is she going to think about me?"
More woman in my opinion need to approach themselves and see how they feel. They have it easy in that aspect. The difficult part they have is choosing the right guy. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:39:54 PM | well scotty you just said it... women need to get to know the guy first
then i feel it is warranted and fully acceptable for us women to make that move!
we are adults and should not be judged based on any level of aggressiveness
the only time i can see it being a problem is when two people are not on the same page.. that is what the getting to know one another and communication is for <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
OP's date was NOT obviously on the same page as her
it is so important when dating to make this clear because for all we know that guy could have been a perfect gentleman with a different girl
you never know | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:52:51 PM |
Well your sitting there, for example in the car and your just talking and he hugs you and then all of the sudden he forces himself down your throat and you didn't even expect it to happen in that type of manner. Hey I don't mind a man kissing me, but I sure the hell don't like it when he forces himself upon me and shoves his tongue down my throat and keeps insisting I am enjoying it.
Just to make sure I'm understanding this, when he tried to kiss you did you tell him that you didn't want to? And then he kept trying to kiss you despite you insisting he stop? If so, then there is no doubt about it, this guy is a total ass!!
But just personally speaking, I know I like a guy to make the first move. And if that move involves kissing with lots of tongue that actually can be a very good thing (a guy can win me over instantly with a great kiss). So it actually doesn't bother me if a guy I'm on a date with attempts to stick his tongue down my throat, regardless of how I feel about him, **as long as he stops the instant I draw away and say no**. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:53:04 PM |
well scotty you just said it... women need to get to know the guy first
then i feel it is warranted and fully acceptable for us women to make that move!
we are adults and should not be judged based on any level of aggressiveness
I some what agree with that, although some woman don't tolerate it, thus the reason why I seek myself a stronger woman, someone who can tolerate my fiery personality. You see, some can't.
the only time i can see it being a problem is when two people are not on the same page.. that is what the getting to know one another and communication is for
Exactly! when there is none of that and a straight meet, miscommunication will be made there for sure, getting to know each others interests all the rest of it, getting to know one another through just communication of words, the needs and wants etc, that will give better results, if people here talk for a wee bit then meet, I wouldn't be surprised with it ending in failure.
OP's date was NOT obviously on the same page as her
it is so important when dating to make this clear because for all we know that guy could have been a perfect gentleman with a different girl
you never know
Agree to disagree here, I think the guy sounds like a right****head to be perfectly honest with you, she said it in her own words, the guy rudely interrupted her conversation showing that he didn't really care what she was saying and forced himself upon her to start kissing her. At the end of the day, that's a lack of self control. And you'd think the guy would have more common sense. The fact he didn't realise that she was going to dislike it goes to show you the lack of understanding some guys really have about woman, these are the same guys that claim they're womanizers :/ | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:55:46 PM |
Just to make sure I'm understanding this, when he tried to kiss you did you tell him that you didn't want to? And then he kept trying to kiss you despite you insisting he stop? If so, then there is no doubt about it, this guy is a total ass!!
The guys an arsehole full stop, bottom line is, she was talking to him and then he started kissing her forcing himself upon her, randomly kissing her. Of course that's wrong, if a woman is communicating with you, and you just put yourself on her and expect anything good from it, what's that tell me about that guy? it tells me not only does he lack respect for her, it tells me has a total lack of understanding, not of her, but woman in general.
You want to know the sad thing about that is? he probably hasn't even learnt his lesson from that hahaha  | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:55:10 PM | Listen, there is a percentage of men who are going to do this over and over. They took the woman out to see if he can score, get laid get sex. And it always isn`t gotten totally willingly on the woman`s side. As another poster said. This is just the tactic that these guys use because they feel that women expect this level of aggression. Hey, what else is acceptance of a date for , "right?' You know, like some of our favorite posters here that doesn`t believe in friends first. It`s sex first. So they get all aggressive and pushy, hoping that one woman out of the several will like the aggression or just not fight that hard, and then they will get their sex. But it is so borderline, they know the women won`t file rape charges. Very gray area. Similar to what some of our lovely sports heros get involved with.
The last thing on their mind is if the women is enjoying it , or that they are being a descent guy, etc. They went out to get laid and this is how they operate. Some guys do believe that this is normal behavior and how a date should progress. So they get slapped up and yelled at 9 out of 10 times. But the 10th time, she gives up. He got his sex. It`s an numbers thing. No not too nice, but yes, there is a whole faction of men who act like this.
Do they back off when you tell them to stop? Heck no. Most of them you really have a fight on your hands and you have to get really nasty. They just laugh, enjoy the struggle, and then have the audacity to tell you that they had fun and want to take you out again., or take you to his church on Sunday. Really that has happened to me more than once. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:59:34 PM |
Do they back off when you tell them to stop? Heck no. Most of them you really have a fight on your hands and you have to get really nasty. They just laugh, enjoy the struggle, and then have the audacity to tell you that they had fun and want to take you out again., or take you to his church on Sanday. Really that has happened to me more than once.
My god, what a bunch of primitive, mean sickos.
Perhaps you should move to a friendlier place.
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 11:22:58 PM | Even little kids are taught not to get into cars with strangers. Why did YOU do that?
How are you screening your dates?
A first date should be in a very public place in the day time. You should have your own transportation.
A can of pepper spray will stop just about anyone. Put a can on your key ring.
It is also a good idea to learn something about disabling an attacker. There are some simple moves that anyone can do to stop someone in their tracks.
Some of the ladies on this thread have a bitterness that is palpable. The good news is that now that you have outed yourselves, we can avoid you. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/15/2008 11:30:36 PM | Some guys on here support the right of men to borderline rape women on dates and say it is our fault that they are like this and that we should know better than to trust men, But no, we shouldn`t be bitter,ever, just keep smiling, and say that all men are wonderful gentlemen and great guys.
Glad the supporters of men who assault also give themselves up on here. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:22:59 AM | | Rock Staress you are obviously very upset by the experience . What has happened to a good oldfashioned man? I imagine this has really frightened you, and dont beat yourself up as Im sure you are not the first and only person to trust this guy enough to get into his vehicle. Im sure you wont be doing that again. lesson learned!!!!! | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:26:23 AM | | Some guys are like that-because they think that is the 'manly way'-and others are not like that. When a guy does this, push him back away. If he resists going, thumb gouge his eyes, or his throat. In future expect it, and tell a guy right off that there will be no kissing tonight, or he may kiss you but no tongue, or whatever. Set boundaries early, and punish those who cross a line. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:37:51 AM | I must be very fortunate because I have NEVER had someone force themselves upon me. Another suggestion, OP - get yourself a mace spray and carry it with you during your dates (seriously). If you are having this happen to you, you need some sort of protection.
However, it is essential to exercise good judgement (I'm not inferring you don't) in terms of where you meet and maybe use a different method to "interview" your potential dates. | |
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| Why do men force themselves upon you?
Posted: 10/16/2008 8:07:28 AM | You should meet him at the coffee shop, you just let this person you have never met know where you live. Call a taxi if you dont want to take the bus or pick a place that is walking distance from your place.
As to inappropriate behavior tell him you do not like people touching you when you dont know them. | |
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