wsp529
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Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 26 | |
| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:27:36 PM | | Oral or any other type of sexual pleasure is just that, pleasure. I personally love getting a woman off by oral, sometimes it takes more. Get her to the point and go for it!....As far as "tit for tat" maybe you are in the wrong relationship. To me it's all about pleasing who your with. I get so turned on by going down on a woman it doesn't matter what she does or doesn't do next. I guess I'm a giver..... | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:28:57 PM | Personally to me its all about pleasing your lady. Why would you even be doing it if you didnt get pleasure out of taking care of her. Thats what does it for me most. While I generally get the short end of the stick too because alot of women either have been taught its bad, or dont like it, or are unconfortable because theyre not sure if they know how or are not sure youre getting anything out of it. Honestly what you need to do is talk to her.., not ask here. Its all dependent on the people involved. It sounds to me like maybe you or she arent confortable about talking about sex together in general outside of the bedroom.., because if you were you might not have even felt the need to ask this question. If youre giving just to get.., you should stop while youre ahead. Alot of people are intune with natural energy and even if its not consciously they will be able to feel why youre doing it and that really puts someone off. If youre giving 100%+ of yourself you shouldnt even notice. Especially if youre in love with that person. My 2 cents anyhow. Not everyone is the same kind of lover that I am.
~Quinn | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:34:38 PM | not near enough info to judge....
Did she ask for u to give her oral......or are u giving it expecting to recieve it?
As others questioned.....are u giving her oral and then having intercourse.....or just giving her oral and u get no pleasure?
Did she used to give u head.....and now doesn't for some reason?
Are u repeatedly telling her she "should" be doing it and it is now a grudge you're not going to win?! | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:37:52 PM | Well I love oral sex and it gives me more pleasure than buggery, I find it more intimate and more exciting because I feel if someone is prepared to make the effort to pleasure me like that I would return the favour but I get bored after a while if it is going on for a long time. I'd be disgusted if they stopped half-way through or before I was about to cum.
Is this selfish of me or is this a normal reaction ?
My friend Emma refuses to give oral sex because it makes her gag and in turn her partner refuses to give her oral sex as a punishment - that's not very nice of him. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:39:49 PM | | i give oral because i like doing it and thats why you should do it not to get something in return. you should be trying to make it the best expierience possible for he. then who knows maybe next time she will blow your mind ? just a thought | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 4:51:44 PM | | I have been with two women that did not care to go down on men. I never once thought I would deprive them of something I enjoy doing for them. What would be the sense of having someone do it if they did not enjoy it? | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:18:50 PM | well i'm pretty after you make her orgasm orally you two will end up doing the dirty tango which will end up in your orgasm. most women do not orgasm simply from sex, so you are giving her an orgasm and then you get to have one as well. i personally think that men should try and make a woman come each time they have sex (unless it's a hot quicky or steamy morning sex)
so what's the problem here? | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:20:45 PM | | You are pretty selfish man. It is not "taking" if you are giving. It is recieving. Big difference. You don't give oral because you want it in return. That would almost be "taking" if you ask me. You give her oral....you want oral back....hmmm.....Indian giving? Or Taking? Either way....give oral if you want to give it to her. If she wants to give it back to you.....cool...if not....who f'n cares man. Besides, are you going to be more turned on by it if she does it on her own or if you pressure her into it? | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:30:14 PM | if i please my man orally it's not to get something in return. i do it because i want to because he enjoys it and i want to make him happy.
if i was dating you OP i don't think i'd ever give you oral just because you are so selfish! it's really such a turnoff.. and i'd probably rather make your life a living hell than please you
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:31:28 PM | This will give you some info on your original question:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10693189.aspx
No where was keeping track mentioned, no note pad, no keeping tally. This is a hypotethical question. Love is supposed to be about give and take, not just take.
You are right about the give and take... it's the expectation of "if I do *this* then she should do *that*" that most people find offensive. If a partner is not pleasing the other the way they would like, and after communicating this to them, then only that person can decide whether they will accept this or not.
However, doing something (as in oral) only to expect something (oral) in return is just wrong, IMO. One should do things to their partner to please their partner, not to be thinking "Gee, if I keep licking this cl1t for another 10 min, then I better get a good long blowjob out of it". That is very selfish IMO.
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:59:49 PM | If you want to ensure that you receive the attention you require in the bedroom might I suggest you engage a 'professional'. The terms are clear, you get what you want and no one feels like they have missed out.
If, however, you are intent on having a relationship with a woman then it's best you drop the attitude that your partner 'owes' you something in return. If you don't enjoy the act of giving her pleasure because you aren't getting reciprocation you should try a really cool thing called 'communication'. It's the act of starting a dialog with an equal about what your expectations and desires are. In a loving relationship these things can be worked out. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:11:48 PM |
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Sexual dynamics are funny.
My mate only gets head when I'm not turned on in the least. He likes it.. but it's a treat he gets to remind him that I love him even when my body isn't cooperating.
then again. we've got different circumstances than most people. But I still think it would be similar. you do these things out of love and not obligation. He's never expected pleasure from me and I've never expected it from him. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:34:35 PM | Oral sex is worth 10 QFU's (Quality F&ck Units); Orgasm is an additional 10 QFU's; and allowing your partner to come first is worth a 5 QFU bonus; with an additional 5 QFU's for each additional orgasm achieved, before you are allowed to cum (These QFU's are bonus units for delaying your orgasm for your partners benefit; and are in addition to the 10 QFU's alloted for each orgasm independent of sequencing) In the interaction you mentioned you have accrued 10 QFU's for performing oral sex, 10 more for bringing her to orgasm, 5 bonus for allowing her to cum first, an additional 15 for allowing her to cum again (5 are bonus for delaying your orgasm) She has racked up a 40 Quality F&ck Unit deficit! You are certainly entitled to a sum of gold at the end of your rainbow. However, anal sex is 50 QFU's; so if you're expecting any anal, you still owe her another orgasm.
My ex ran up a deficit of 16,875 QFU's before our divorce; and I'm trying to negotiate some type of financial compensation exchange rate; but I'm finding the intrinsic value of QFU's is severely compromised following divorce.
Reality Check: there is no appropriate use for the term "obligate" when discussing having sex, or making love, outside of a pay for service agreement.
Dude, if you aren't pleasing your partner because it gives you pleasure to do so; you're missing the only healthy motivation for making love. If your partner is selfish, deal with it. I have NO tolerance for a selfish lover. However, nothing anyone does ever obligates the other. Ever. Period. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:40:10 PM | | All this pre-planned stuff takes away from the passion and spontanuity of sex. One shouldn't be expected for the other. Now if one lover is always giving and the other is always on the recieving end then yes there is a problem. I certainly enjoy giving but I also quite enjoy recieving and would hope that she remembers that passionate night with a linguistic gift sometime in the near future | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:11:06 AM | You got it. If she makes no effort, let it slide. In time she may change, and catch up. If you push it, she will be more reluctant, and less apt to do it, and may even dump you. Would you rather have good intercourse without any oral, or no sex at all? If it means all that much to you, dump this gal now, and find one who gives as well as she recieves.
Whatever you do, or don't do, about it...do stop whining. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/16/2008 1:22:30 AM |
No where was keeping track mentioned, no note pad, no keeping tally. This is a hypotethical question. Love is supposed to be about give and take, not just take.
Can some one ? please explain to the OP what a 69'er is.
Thanks. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/16/2008 3:06:46 AM | | I think the main point of his question has been missed by alot of people. He's not asking about should he force her to do something she hates, or being tit for tat or keeping score or whatever. He's just saying that he made her cum in a certain way so shouldn't the same thing happen for him? What's so bad about that? It's just balancing it out and cumming in the same way. If I made a guy cum by giving him oral then a thought would at least pass through my head along the lines of "now where's mine"..or "my turn now"... (and if others were honest I think they would say the same thing!). And you can bet your arse that if I kept blowing him to orgasm and never got the favour returned that little scenario would be off the agenda quick smart...and again, I reckon if others were honest they would say the same. If a woman posted this same question as "I give my boyfriend blowjobs and he orgasms but he never goes down on me"...well fukc, there would be an uprising and a chorus of 'dump his sorry lazy arse". | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 10/16/2008 3:26:48 AM | OP, shouldnt you have discussed this aspect of sex before having sex? I would think if you said "I love getting head", she would have said, "Sorry, I dont like to give head", and you would have known already before you chose to be with her.
Giving just to get, is tacky...and it rarely works...as seen by your post. Giving with expectations is not the way to give. If you gave freely, it would not even occur to you that you did not 'get'. | |
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