| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:39:47 PM |
Msg: 26 -- I get so turned on by going down on a woman it doesn't
matter what she does or doesn't do next. I guess I'm a giver.....
I'm more of a pragmatist. I consider what I give as opposed to what I
get. I am more lenient, though, on the currency of exchange. I am NOT
hung up on oral. I enjoy it and the mutual exchange of such.
BUT, come on, folks, let's get PRACTICAL here. Women have MUCH more
difficulty with orgasms than men do. Generally speaking, they get off
more easily with oral than with full penetration. Contrast that with
the fact that MOST men get off with penetration. Considering this,
TRULY, where is the "sacrifice" if a man does oral and she spreads for
penetration. BOTH get off. What seems to be the problem?
Women get off on oral. Men get off on oral and/or penetration.
OK, SOOPER-STOOPEEED UNEDDYCATED question: if BOTH get off, WHO
**LOSES**??? **I** go down, admittedly, for the SELFISH reason of
getting HER **OFF**. OK, STOOPEEED me, by ACCIDENT, I accomplish the
deed. I poke in, hump, and get off for myself.
Now, truthfully, WTF do **I** care if she goes down on me? Examine the
momentary stats: SHE got off. **I** got off. BOTH of us are satisfied.
I FAIL to see the problem. Would I have enjoyed her blowing me off as
well? OF COURSE!!!! BUT, alternatively, I enjoyed fVcking her raw and
enjoyed all that such entails.
OK, such an event occurs and BOTH of us are **MORE** than QUITE
satisfied. Umm, in the back of my mind, though, I think "I went oral
on her, but she did NOT reciprocate". Why should I deliver energy to
such a thought? She got hers, I got mine, we BOTH were quite pleased.
ULTIMATELY, we BOTH got what we "cummed" for. So, the question
presents itself as such: We both got off. Why does it matter HOW?
Msg: 29 -- Well, there are other ways to reciprocate. My lover usually
perfers to have regular sex of some sort than oral after me. I can't
imagine how boring a tit for a tat would be. Very unimaginative.
I only PARTIALLY disagree with this. It would be NICE to have oral off
this, but NOT mandatory. I expect ONLY pleasure, however it may be
attained. Oral is nice, but NOT essential. Oral is more for HER rather
than for me.
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:01:36 AM |
That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read on here; avoid those hirsute men, I do……actually if us ladies can shave our legs….and more,…not too much to expect a trim.
Good Point!! But a little off-center - non-lady females and all males CAN also shave. There are many that do shave, but few that talk about it. If trading oral sex for oral sex is unfair, then expecting a shave for a shave is unfair too!!
I have asked more than one woman a.) if she shaves and b.) how she feels about a man that shaves... Now maybe it's my bad luck, but 90% of the women that answered that they DO shave; also answered only gay men shave...
The question used to be: Is it going to cost me?? Now the question is how much of a price are you willing to pay... Life is about compromise - sometimes the end justifies the means and sometimes the means justifies the end.
Whomever asked the question that started this thread: Ask yourself if you love her, if there is any hesitation then you don't and need to move on. If the answer is a resounding Yes - then quit whining and SHOW her that you love her. If your answer was neither of these two - then you still don't and need to move on.
Cheers! | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:22:30 AM | Great sex is not about wondering if she will or if he will. It's not about keeping score.
However, you should get pleasure from pleasing your partner and if it was really great, you wouldn't be wondering if you'll get pleasure at all, because you'd be both pleasuring each other at the same time!! | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/6/2008 8:31:21 AM |
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Because men have been reciprocating women for years regarding orgasms and oral sex? Yeah, whatever!
Giving pleasure to your partner is about just that......GIVING! Tis the season! | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:46:38 AM | | What you say is very true! A truly caring partner can bring the best out in their partner. It is all about sharing pleasures and giving pleasures to each other with no strings attached to each act Nothing can turn a woman off faster than those men who 'expect' a woman to make them cum orally and make it known you don't bring me I won't bring you. Once it becomes a 'have to' it soon becomes a chore and resented and an empty act with no feelings. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:31:44 PM | Jamesbondson, I think you do deserve a little something in return for all your efforts. I give you kudos for being able to make her cum orrally, and I don't think it's selfish of you, to want a little oral yourself once in awhile as well. If one partner is not getting their sexual needs met, that leads to resentment and that can make the sex suffer over time. I think, she is the one being selfish here. But you need to talk to her about it. Why won't she go down on you? Does it gross her out? Is she too closed minded about certain sexual acts or it's "dirty" to her? Was she abused sexually in some way as a child?
I don't think many women realize how important it is for men to get theirs in "other ways" too. Yes it may be easier for men to just get on top of us and cum in two seconds, but sometimes, they like variety too.
However, here's the one thing men need to understand about us giving you head. Some women don't want to do it even once, because then we assume a guy is going to want it all the time, and we're not always up for it. Personally, I enjoy it, but my jaw can start to cramp up after a while if it takes a guy a long time to cum that way. It's always nice for us, if a guy can cum sooner then later, with oral.
As long as we know a guy isn't going to give us grief or pressure us about giving him oral all the time, we're more likely to give it.
But you need to set the same ground rules for her. If she "expects" oral all the time, but never gives you any in return, then you need to talk to her about this and just be honest with her about your needs too. You enjoy pleasuring her, but you'd like a little something oral too every once in awhile. But you want her to do it, because she wants to, not because she feels obligated too. If she gives you a guilt trip about it then maybe it's time to move on to someone else who's more "giving" sexually. Because if you're not getting what you want over time, you'll start to resent her, and then you'll just be miserable.
You need your sexual needs met too, not just hers. | |
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Freqy
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Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 183 | |
| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/7/2008 1:51:08 AM | I can't believe the hostility directed towards OP.
My question though: is this happening regularly or are you pissed off because she didn't reciprocate once?
A good sexual relationship is about give and take, and ummm, if you like to orgasm that DOES count.
Unless your girl has a previously expressed dislike for giving oral sex, you have to wonder what sort of lover would leave you hanging at the end of it all. I thought the ladies here would relate to that!
The only solution is to talk to your partner about that and let her know you want more. If you don't ask, she may never know how you feel. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/11/2008 12:47:08 PM | I love Lkng4fun66's answer:
No,
She doesn't have to.
If you expect oral after pleasing her orally, it becomes formulaic doesn't it?
Kind of like in porn. She blows him, he licks her, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, money shot.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I say AMEN!!!!!!
the back and forth gets boring really quickly!!!
but I'd understand if buddy hadn't gotten any for a while. It might be worth a talk, because if she's not into returning the favour there are most definitely other issues at hand... starts with a T and sounds like 'lust'.... or she might just be a selfish beotch. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/11/2008 1:12:42 PM | | I don't think sex is all about just one person. Sex is something to be shared between two consenting adults. If a man makes his woman cum orally, thats great and he shouldn't expect anything in return. If she does it, then just be grateful that she did. Not all women like to do it...I do...but not everyone's the same. Also, you shouldn't be keeping score. This question obviously came from a selfish lover. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/11/2008 1:45:37 PM | Is it really a "favor" if she ends up indebted to you....?
Forced reciprocation ends up being a debt paid...way far away from the sense of 'joie de vivre' one can recieve from a genuine desire to give pleasure to another... | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 12:12:13 PM |
In this modern age of equality if you can make your woman cum orally and there is no attempt to reciprocate are you obligated to continue in the future? If you are a gentleman and make her orgasm first and even second should there be any gold at the end or your rainbow?
It's not a favor. It's a pleasure. She's not obligated in anyway to do this and if you insist you're treating her like property instead of a lover.  | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 1:14:24 PM | | She doesn't owe you anything, and you shouldn't expect anything. Of course, neither should she! It should never be a quid pro quo situation. However, if she never wants to please you in ways you like to be pleased, then you may simply be incompatible. Where you go from there is then up to you. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 2:13:41 PM | | If it's not reciprocated maybe she doesn't like doing it. Maybe she's nervous? Maybe she's never done it? You have to take those thoughts into account and don't just expect it. We all don't believe in the "if you jump off a bridge I should too" way of thinking. | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 2:23:07 PM | Personally, if a man gives me an orgams, either orally or through intercourse. I am, definitely, going to return the favor. It is only fair, and besides that, I am one of the very few, unselfish people, that actually enjoys giving rather than receiving | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:20:33 PM | You're not obligated to anything. Relationship is supposed to be about mutual benefit. Some people don't want the same benefits. What if you're into anal sex i.e. you like doing her, does that mean then you have to let her do you the same way? Not all guys are into that.
Sex is supposed to be fun. It isn't fun when people feel obligated. If you and your partner don't feel like it's fun pleasing each other, something is wrong.
It can take time for some people to get used to some things, men & women both. Pressuring doesn't help. You should never pressure your partner. Invite. If they aren't into pleasing you, if over time they can't get over inhibitions that are important to you, then you have to decide if it's worth it.
I really like oral sex and had a partner for several years who wasn't into it. However, he was so good at other things, such a tender and sweet lover, and so compatible in every other area, that it was worth it to me. I missed it occasionally but the overall package was so satisfying that I was pretty happy.
I have never know a women who I made feel good who did not make me feel better after.
Brilliant. Now there's a guy who gets it! | |
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| If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:00:41 PM |
It is only fair, and besides that, I am one of the very few, unselfish people, that actually enjoys giving rather than receiving
Because I don't enjoy it doesn't make me selfish...............and because you like a****in your mouth doesn't make you unselfish. Maybe your vagina doesn't smell the best and that is why you would rather give then receive..........I'm not sure if it does, and don't want to find out, but you have as much right talking about people being selfish or unselfish as I do talking about your vagina, because you don't know everyone else. | |
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