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 ab_qt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 151
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
With the amount of shit that's on tv these days, I can't see why anyone would want to watch it but if you want it by all means you should be paying for it.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 152
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 1:25:28 AM
It is good that you broke up. You are young, educated, attractive and didn't need all this guy's baggage.

There are plenty of guys out there with too many kids trying to find some sucker to do all the grunt work so he doesn't have to.

As for cohabitation, if I were to ever do it, which I won't, expenses would have to be weighted averages cause there aren't too many average guys who make more than I do. I don't plan on living in a hut and driving a rusted out chevette so I can do halfsies with some guy's 40k a year income.
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 153
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:29:20 AM
ARRRRggg! It never ceases to amaze me just how quickly people are motivated to cohabitate!!! Ok..I'm better... Now..to your question:

How did you come to moving in together? And, whose place are you living in?
If he got onto one knee and asked if you would improve his life by moving in with him...then I would say he needs to foot the bills...

If, on the other hand, you chased him and pressured him until he agreed to put up with you on a regular basis...then yeah..you pay the cable bill.


 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 154
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:29:54 AM
He knew you were a student without a lot of money when he had you move in. He has two children in the home and I am sure you help take care of them. I am also sure that your bf and his children watch tv. Yes you should pay the cable bill, but only the cable bill.

You are going to school and in the long run that will help all of you.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 155
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:05:29 AM
^^^ She know of the situation before she move in also. I am sure the house bills increase when she move in. There is no reason for him to pay all of this cost. It would be more fair of her to pay as much money as possible (up to 50% of bills) instead of only half of her income.


If he got onto one knee and asked if you would improve his life by moving in with him...then I would say he needs to foot the bills...


I do not agree. This treat her like a guest who was invited. They are a couple in a loveing relationship. She should consider her partner feeling.

(they already break up so this is hypothetical though)

 MissEmpress
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 156
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:38:59 AM

I just can't understand why all the bills and each others income wasn't discussed before living together....but deal is done.


I don't get it either....
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 157
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:23:27 PM

^^^ She know of the situation before she move in also. I am sure the house bills increase when she move in. There is no reason for him to pay all of this cost. It would be more fair of her to pay as much money as possible (up to 50% of bills) instead of only half of her income.


She did state in her opening post that she paid what she could. Not to mention he is the one with children and the one that is buying expensive cars. As to the bills going up because she moved in. I could see a slight increase in an electric, gas(heat, cooking, hot water), water, and food. I just can't see where it would be more than say $200 more a month because of her being there.


I do not agree. This treat her like a guest who was invited. They are a couple in a loveing relationship. She should consider her partner feeling.

That's a bad joke. It would seem to me in a loving relationship or marriage that both would just put would ever money they made into a "pot" so to speak and pay whatever bills they had and not worry so much about who made what. I wouldn't even consider moving in with or marrying a person that worried about splitting bills and whatever down the middle. That sounds more like a room mate situation.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 158
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:58:36 AM
She did state in her opening post that she paid what she could.


Later she state she only pay 50% of her income to bills and pay half of food. So she can pay more, but rather keep money for herself.


Not to mention he is the one with children and the one that is buying expensive cars.


By move in, the children are her responsibility (finacial or other). Unless she is only roommate or a guest. If she can not be responsible for children, or pets, she should not move in. This is reason to wait very long time before move in with children. The car is seperate issue. He was wrong for not consider her, if they are share the bills.


As to the bills going up because she moved in. I could see a slight increase in an electric, gas(heat, cooking, hot water), water, and food. I just can't see where it would be more than say $200 more a month because of her being there.


If they wish to measure useage, this is for them to decide. But only because rent/mortage do not increase, do not mean she should not help with this. I would wish to limit the stress of bills from the person I care of. When we live together we are team who work together.


That's a bad joke. It would seem to me in a loving relationship or marriage that both would just put would ever money they made into a "pot" so to speak and pay whatever bills they had and not worry so much about who made what.


My "bad joke" is in reply to you say the person who invite should be more responcible for bills. She is not invited guest, they are takeing new step in the relationship.

To place all money into pot is better idea in this example. I can understand split bills equaly is not possible in all time. But both who love each other should try as much as possible. I only do not believe giveing only 50% of income is try as much as possible.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 159
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:55:39 PM
Hey Jess, sorry to hear you split up. It's good to get others perspective, in the end it's what you believe that counts. I think all the different points of view expressed show that many diferent people have diferent beliefs. When it comes to money, I think it's really important to be with someone who has very similar beliefs, otherwise your relationship will be a bumpy one. I read somewhere once that finacial disagreements where the number one cause for divorce. Food or thought.

Ps: I keep finances seperate in all my relationships as much as posible. Split utilities only. Most women readily agree when they realise my grocery bill. I have also lived with EXs as roomates very succesfully, I believe keeping finances seperate contributes largely to this.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 160
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:57:44 PM
He'll regret that if you ever split up.... but I don't blame you at all for liking that deal.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 161
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:10:35 AM
"I wouldn't even consider moving in with or marrying a person that worried about splitting bills and whatever down the middle. That sounds more like a room mate situation."

Fair enough, if that's how you feel, just make sure he feels the same way and who knows, should work. Keeping finances seperate does work for many people though. My perants have been married for over 40 years and have always kept everything seperate. "Vive la diferance" as they say... Question though, how many couples do you know where the woman makes significantly more and would agree to paying the majority of the expences for both? I don't personaly know any.....
 debbie22222
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 162
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:02:45 AM
Sorry to hear you split up. I do think that if someone is studying and on a lower income during this time, that it is unfair to expect 50/50 on the bills. After all studying is an investment in a better future and I assume your earning power would go up tons after your course.

You have loads going for you and I am sure everything will work out for you.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 163
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:10:39 AM
You certainly should contribute. I would not date someone that wants to use me for a place to live, or expects me to pay when we go out to eat.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 164
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:11:44 AM
How pathetic to duel over such trivial material matters.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 165
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:09:51 AM
"How pathetic to duel over such trivial material matters."

Really? Pathetic? How pathetic? What exactly is so pathetic about our discussing money issues on a dating site forum? I have read it's the number one cause for disharmony in relationships. I can only presume, since your such a giant inteligence, that you are fully aware that you indirectly called us all pathetic. What is the point of that? To let us know you have risen above ? Maybe you could write a book? Enlighten us pathetic simple folk. I realise your supper bright, but for what it's worth I wouldn't buy an advice book written by someone who comes across as so self serving and insensitive to what's important to me. Just my .02, I could be wrong, maybe most people realy do love being treated like the dirt under your shoe.
 IsabelK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 166
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:38:54 AM
Let's see:

Rent - we split in proportion to our income - we adjust as this changes from time to time
Bills - I pay all but cable & satellite, which boyfriend mostly uses
Groceries - we split 50/50
Car - he pays for all (I don't drive it, or barely ride in it, ever) - unless we travel somewhere w/ it - then I contribute to gasoline
Dogs - we split vet bills & food 50/50

It all comes out about even. We check in often, to make sure everything is balanced and no one feels exploited.
 gourmetchef2009
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 167
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:40:34 AM
tell him if he stills wants SEX, he better pay the cable bill!!! Watch how fast the checkbook comes out..lol..
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 168
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:50:13 AM
Switers

It is pathetic to duel on such trivial matters, they are talking about an idiotic cable TV and an increase car payment. Forget love, forget that the persons are good with each others, forget that they have qualities....all mighty dollar prevail!

Number one cause for disharmony? yes in north america maybe, as greed dominate and people seams more concern about what they own then what they are worth; and cannot see what are the true assets they have.

Twice, I given without even looking back house, car and all assets without even been asked for, why? because I can rebuilt any time I want and in any form; my integrity and self worth cannot. I have been very rich and it never given me happiness; Even worst, the richer I got, the fakest and shallowest the people gravitating around me where.
I found out that the real treasure in life is the people surrounding you and not the hundreds of thousands I had in bank.

Pathetic about holding on to material in such cases? you bet! I wonder with what of your assets will you be buried the day you die, or which denomination of bank bill will bring you comfort when you are sad or which car of yours love you the most?

material? yes pathetic and worthless.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 169
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 11:03:57 AM

tell him if he stills wants SEX, he better pay the cable bill!!! Watch how fast the checkbook comes out..lol..


He should kick her ass to the curb if she insists on being a whore.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 170
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:16:24 PM
"tell him if he stills wants SEX, he better pay the cable bill!!! Watch how fast the checkbook comes out..lol.."

I would be ok not having sex with someone that insincere. Ewe yuck. Next! Wow nothing says I love and admire you like "I have sex with you for money."
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 171
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:24:49 PM
Hey commonsens, the point is, it might not be important to you, but it's important to us. We live in North America, we are consumer driven and materialistic. Everyone is free to their own values and beliefs. For some one who seems to be on a spiritual path, it's kinda narsasitic or something, to expect everyone else to share your point of view, no? Anyway, I really want to go back to school and could use some cash, if your not doing anything with yours, and don't care to hold on to it, I sure could put it to good use : )
 Monty2u
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 172
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:43:45 PM
It is my feeling that all expenses of the house should be assumed by the gentleman. The girls assume a lot of responsibility just keeping things organized, much less worry with the overhead of the operation, not to mention, your going to school.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 173
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:15:22 PM

Rent - we split in proportion to our income - we adjust as this changes from time to time


So.... um... the person who pays more gets more of the space? Seems kinda bizarre that one person benefits in a 50/50 arrangement....

 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 174
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:33:39 PM
I'm a big fan of keeping finances separate completely. Even if you are't able to split 50/50 , this is still possible. Though I think maybe easier done before hand. I would sit down and figure out what you can pay in 'rent' each month and keep your own personal bills separate. See if you can compromise on the cable by splitting it or possibly reducing the bill by cutting channels (actually, if you call them to discontinue with satellite , they will almost give it away to you...I so rarely watch tv that it was a waste to me to have directtv and dvr so I was going to cancel and they are almost paying me to keep it ,lol. maybe you can work out a deal with the cable company).
Also, keep your personal finanances totally separate. That means his truck and payment are his business. Maybe a truck is more important to him than cable.
If you can come up with an agreement on how much you pay (even if it's not 50/50) , this will enable you to still budget in the things that you want.
Just my take..but then I had a completely separate checking, savings, etc from my husband when I was married. I guess different people like to handle this different ways, but that always worked for me/us. I would never, ever consider sharing finances with my so...especially if we weren't married.
 lovemygirlie
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 175
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:41:55 PM

You should pay for the cable BUT ... kick him in the nuts if you catch him watching it!


ba ha ha ha ha! Aren't we supposed to be looking after our investments??
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