| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 2:02:58 AM | | Yeah, I been single a long time and the more women I meet on this site the more I appreciate being single. I'm different, they are boring. Happy? I really don't care if I'm happy. That is the tyranny of middle class culture. You are obliged to be happy. Buddhism says "suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy." I used to practice a sect of Buddhism. See, I 'm all enlightened like. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 2:08:16 AM |
... the more women I meet on this site the more I appreciate being single. .... Buddhism says "suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy."
We're not all horrible? (the women of pof)
I agree with Bhuda. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:35:43 PM | I swear trying to date at this age (never mind any sex) is like banging your head against the wall. So many quirks, odd things and just stuff in general that you never had to deal with... Really rather get back to, you like me, I like you, can I get to second base...LOL... I really don't want to be single from this point forward....  | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:45:47 PM | I have lived alone for 34 years, and may have beeen single long enough, by this point.
I try to be as happy as possible, whatever the circumstance. Do the best I can.
Securing a partner is looking more and more attractive now, and at my age, the prospects seem to be improving. I think I am outliving the competition.
For many years, I had a challenging time, trying to even find a date. Then, I discovered the produce section at the supermarket, and my life was immeasurably enriched. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:09:10 PM | But you don't sound happy.
Being with someone does not make for happiness always. I would rather be alone and happy or unhappy than be with someone and be unhappy. Make any sense?
The pseudo intellectuals - oh I don't know. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:24:29 PM | LOL@its better together!!!
I was married for so long that I never even knew what it was like to just be ME.
Met him at 14,married at 15,mother at 16...........
from then on I was a daughter,a wife,a mother,became a nurse,worked AND took care of the kids,the husband and the never-ending "to do list"........
then we divorced after 36 years together......
I didn't know how to be alone.I didn't know how to cook for just one(I threw out tons of food before I finally learned,I could've fed a third world country for a year,lol)
I couldn't figure out what to do with complete control of the remote...
I had the WHOLE kingsized bed to myself......
I could sleep until noon without guilt.....
I could eat whenever I felt like it but it took me a year to learn how to do that....
I learned it was ok to take long baths without someone knocking on the door to get in the bathroom next......
Could I be happy to stay single for the rest of my life? Yes,I think I've learned how to be happy with myself. Do I want to? I'm not so sure on that one. It might be hard to start living with someone again after I've gotten use to everything "my way".....
But hey,you never know what life has in store for you...I never dreamed I'd be divorced at 50.Life goes on,gotta learn to go with the flow................. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:32:17 PM | Over 50 and happy, destined, resigned and at ease with my alone time and that's the truth PTHTHTHTHTHTHTH........... Although a few sleep overs would be nice. ;-)
I guess I can be satisfied that so many women at least looked at my picture. But alas I am an aquired taste, exotic and green not at all capitalist and of no interest to the mercenary hoard. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/11/2008 1:34:12 PM | | I prefer it! I have never been happier, why oh why do people think they have to be with someone exclusively? most of the people I know who are married are miserable, and the rest just wont admit it. They are jealous of my freedom and the way I get to live without restraints imposed by a relationship. So, until someone comes along that changes my mind, I am loving my single life! | |
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hiya01
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Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 91 | |
| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/13/2008 3:23:32 AM | | I actively choose to remain single. There is a level of confidence in my life now and that is something that I find is still magical. I was single before......... came into the world that way and I will be single in this phase of my life. Funny after divorce found out that my ex couldn't do half of the crap he did when I was married. Against the law...why choose to be married? I can handle having a relationship and just let it go if it doesn't work for me and those involved. Life is meant to enjoy so the big difference in my life now is that I truly enjoy the people around me. I like to reciprocate that and hope they enjoy being around me as well. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/13/2008 3:43:36 AM | | I'll be happy the rest of my life -- whether single or with someone --but so much of life is more fun sharing with someone special! Definitely agree with most everyone before me here -- I'd rather be happy & single, than miserable & married! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:28:06 AM | | I am totally opposed to ever marrying again. If a guy even THINKS that's something he may be open to eventually then he needs to look elsewhere cuz I am not going down that path again. I wasn't really miserable in my last marriage but it wasn't all roses either and I no longer am willing to give someone that kind of power in my life. If anyone is gonna f*** up my future, d***it, it's gonna be me. However, unless I make some major changes over the next few years, I know I cannot survive indefinitely in my present circumstances without a partner. Therefore, I would consider cohabitation and if it ended up lasting the rest of my life I would be cool with that. Or I can make the changes I spoke of. Either way would work for me and I'll be happy. Other people can't make us happy anyway so I don't depend on anyone for that. It comes from within. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:06:18 AM | I am impressed with your post on the forum. Why should we settle for less just because the calendar has turned over a few times? I still play guitar, and ride motorcycles, the same as I have since I was 15.
There is a whole world of women out there and doing the math tells me that there are quite a few I would be happy to spend the future with. True, there is the small problem of finding them... but I don't give up easy.
Let's face it , what else are you going to be doing? Earning another fortune you can't take with you? Watching ever more mindless TV?
Sharing a loving relationship with someone sounds like a lot more fun, and we know it will keep you active and alive longer too.
It's a pity that one highly intelligent woman, who lives near the sea, likes motorcycles and is HOT!!! is on the other side of the world thjavascript:smilie(' ')ough. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:18:01 AM | bodypro8: God I loved this paragraph in your profile:
"YOU WANT: HARRISON FORD, MAHATMA GANHDI, AND CARY GRANT all rolled into one. I WANT MOTHER TERESA, GOLDA MEIR, AND BENAZIR BHUTTO. (Bhutto when she was young. Before she was dead) Throw Hilary Clinton and Margret Thatcher in there as well. I like smart, powerful, ruthless, evil women, who aren't afraid to show their tender, nurturing side."
Thanks for the chuckle! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:37:29 AM | | To address the OP: There's no guarantee of 'happiness' whether single or not. And what, exactly, does 'single' mean anyway? Not married? sheesh. Not being in love? double sheesh. I think we create our own misery by the demands we put on life - and when those demands are not met...? Heaven may have to wait. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/14/2008 9:28:02 PM | To address the OP: There's no guarantee of 'happiness' whether single or not. And what, exactly, does 'single' mean anyway? Not married? sheesh. Not being in love? double sheesh. I think we create our own misery by the demands we put on life - and when those demands are not met...? Heaven may have to wait.
Of course, happiness means different things to different people...what makes one person happy isn't what makes another happy. I guess I didn't mean happy literally. I don't actually believe that we should expect happiness in life......life itself is too complex and complicated for simple happiness. What I meant was, would people be comfortable with being single, perhaps more comfortable than not, for the rest of their lives? From these forums, I am learning a lot about what other people think and feel, and I hope my posts begin to reflect that awareness.
To me, single means either not married or not living with someone in a long term, committed relationship (i.e., common law marriage, marriage without the offical sanction of the government). Single means being essentially on your own. To me, having a lover who lives his own life, in his own home, etc., is being single. That's just MY definition; I realize it may be defined differently by others.
Am I putting too many demands on life? I don't know. I don't think it is a demand. I think it is a desire....I've been on my own a very long time; I am tired of it; I would like to change that. Do I have expectations about that? No. Do I have hope? Yes. Do I expect that a long term, committed relationship will fix everything in my life and make all things rosy and wonderful? No. I do, however, think it will change my life, and I do believe, with the right person, it will enrich my life.
I don't think I am creating a misery by putting a demand on life that I find a long term partner, as it isn't a demand, and my life is far, far from miserable. I am not sitting around waiting to live because I don't have anyone to share my life with. It would just be nicer, richer..... | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:00:48 AM |
I am not sitting around waiting to live because I don't have anyone to share my life with. It would just be nicer, richer.....
OP, none of us are either as but theres always that but! But what would be more richer or fulfulling in my life?
For many they have found their niche in life and are happy and that is as good as it gets.
You want a last, LTR,life partner and I see nothing wrong with that ,but not necessarly under the same roof 24/7.
My question for you is what's stopping you from finding a lover with the same desires in a relationship as you?
imo,We all get lonely at times and thats human natural reguardless of past relationships,circumstances,etc.
I married late in life,30 cuz yes I was not ready to take or make those sacrfices and responsablities when I was in my twenties.
I was married once,20 years and divorced. And if I would have to do it again what I know now with all honestly,yes. My life does not revolve just around me! What I leave and what I have done is my m.o. and love supreme to my family,friends,and those who have ment the most to me and those less fortunate.
Life is like chapters in a book and most of my chapters have been rewarding and it sad that for some, it has not.
Happiness is imo whats in your heart and mind. And unless your cut off from the world being single is very rewarding and sharing with another to me is what makes my heart sing. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:26:46 AM | My question for you is what's stopping you from finding a lover with the same desires in a relationship as you?
Just Jim: My question to you would be why would you ask this question of me and not the other hundreds of thousands of people (millions probably) on POF and other singles sites who are also looking for that one significant relationship with the 'same desires in a relationship' as themselves? We are all looking. That's why WE are all here. Why each person isn't finding it is specific and personal and individual to that person. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:28:20 PM |
My question to you would be why would you ask this question of me
I ask you because you are the one who posted this thread but if you would like me answer that imo what the hundred of thousands of people here who can't find a loving mate my best guess would be fear. I can't blame them because of the past but to seek a loving relationship now when you you really not into it is folly at best.
We are all looking. That's why WE are all here. Why each person isn't finding it is specific and personal and individual to that person.
Why? You all know why!
I have talked and met some lovely people here and the ones who I admire the most are the ones who talk from the heart about themselves and about knowing more about me.
Very few can do this and my guess is that they actually content for the most part where they are at and just here for the show ,to look but don't touch.
You may like going to Disneyworld but at the end of the day when you leave nothing in present has changed.
If your heart is not into it, you will never get pass first base.
So,like the song; you only get what you give' and if you expect it to just fall into you lap....
and then when I read the replies who say all their married friends are miserable and they would never go there again is a bit back pedaling to me.
I have friends who are very happy and some who are not but to say I would never go there is a bit much.
That's like saying love,family,friends,memories,are not worth it and I say poohie to you all!
Life imo is like chapters in a book,and with the right partner,
I say it is in what you put into it unless your chapter is over. | |
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