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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:38:10 PM | | You know that old put down line, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth"?? Well, I literally pretend I AM the last man on earth. That way, I have no other choice BUT to be happy with myself in the event that I don't meet somebody. Would I LIKE to be single for the rest of my life? Well...no. But at least I know I'LL always be there for me when the going gets rough. I certainly can't say that about too many other people these days. Why rely on them? | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:25:02 PM |
I ask you because you are the one who posted this thread but if you would like me answer that imo what the hundred of thousands of people here who can't find a loving mate my best guess would be fear.
Neither in the OP nor in any of my subsequent posts on this, or any other thread, have I suggested I was seeking advice. I don’t ask for or expect or desire advice from virtual strangers, no matter that they may be wonderful people. It simply doesn’t make sense to me, that someone who doesn’t know me could provide effective counsel or guidance. I believe simplifying complex situations and people is neither realistic nor reasonable. I am also quite certain that we are all unique individuals and deal with our lives and experiences in our own unique ways; therefore, unless one knows another well, giving advice or making generalizations about who and what they are or why they function is not sensible.
I have talked and met some lovely people here , and the ones who I admire the most are the ones who talk from the heart about themselves and about knowing more about me. Very few can do this and my guess is that they are actually content for the most part where they are at and just here for the show, to look but don't touch. All well and good, but people are different and they value different things. I choose to be selective about my friends and those I share my heart with. I don’t measure or assess how much I value someone on how soon and how openly they share their inner souls. One thing I find quite repellent is anyone who makes assumptions about me and my inner soul when they are not close to me and know next to nothing about me. Especially offensive are people who decide that someone who does not open up immediately to every one who asks is somehow afraid or has some other psychological problem. I would suggest that a person who believes that their way is the only way of perceiving the world or of functioning is the one with issues.
All my married friends are not miserable; quite the contrary, they seem to be quite secure, satisfied and even happy. Most have been married for 20 to 30 years and more. One of them recently cried as she told me that she and her husband, who has now retired but is too ill to travel, cannot do the things together they planned to do when he retired: this after more than 30 years of marriage.
There are many reasons why various people are still single. To assume they are all single for essentially the same reason would be a misconception. I often find that people who make such generalizations about others are simply applying to all others what is in fact their own circumstance and experience. This would not be terribly enlightened. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/16/2008 6:21:33 AM |
I am also quite certain that we are all unique individuals and deal with our lives and experiences in our own unique ways; therefore, unless one knows another well, giving advice or making generalizations about who and what they are or why they function is not sensible.
IMO,My opinions and observations are just that and sorry if I sound like'devils advocate' at times or hit a senstive cord.
IMO, for me fear is the biggiest stumbling block and wall. Sensiable and rational thought are out the window and much more difficult to comprehend because of that.IMO
IMO,in looking for answers ,one first would have to come from behind the wall.IMO
IMO,For me,to experience life is to take chances, if a person tells that they can't travel 300 miles cuz they only have a half of a tank of gas.
I say hummm....their inner soul or the glass is filled how much.IMO
There are many reasons why various people are still single.
Yes, and I never said being single is a bad thing! And I'm single! ~smile~
This would not be terribly enlightened.
"We all come into the world, alone,
and when we leave ,we leave... alone "...
Thank you and ~Peace be with you~ | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/16/2008 9:50:09 AM | I agree with Jim on this one Ismene...........I too think the FEAR is the reason why most these single people over 45 aren't connecting.
Fear of the past repeating itself,
fear that they haven't got the energy to be hurt and comeback...one more time,
fear of others motivations,
fear of their own picker,
fear of not being able to read red flags,
fear of having to adjust to someone else when they've become used to the life they live
fear of running out of time to get it 'perfect'
fear of trying in real life at all
Doesn't mean that these fears are yours or mine, but simply that they exist in one form or another with many people in our age bracket, because the blush is off the peach, they've tasted good times and bad by now and know there is a price you pay for your decisions.
Maybe what we need is a 'day-after' divorce decree pill that gives us all amnesia .... so we can skip back to a braver more trusting place   | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/16/2008 10:07:15 AM | I agree with Jim on this one Ismene...........I too think the FEAR is the reason why most these single people over 45 aren't connecting.
How dare you agree with a man over me. I'm going to report you to the posse. 
Fear of the past repeating itself,
fear that they haven't got the energy to be hurt and comeback...one more time,
fear of others motivations,
fear of their own picker,
fear of not being able to read red flags,
fear of having to adjust to someone else when they've become used to the life they live
fear of running out of time to get it 'perfect'
fear of trying in real life at all
Doesn't mean that these fears are yours or mine, but simply that they exist in one form or another with many people in our age bracket, because the blush is off the peach, they've tasted good times and bad by now and know there is a price you pay for your decisions.
Maybe what we need is a 'day-after' divorce decree pill that gives us all amnesia .... so we can skip back to a braver more trusting place
I've never been divorced, so I don't need a day after pill for that. It has been so long since I was in a serious relationship, whatever baggage did exist turned to ashes and disintegrated years ago. I am not afraid of repeating the past because I have grown and matured so much since I made the type of mistakes I made in the long ago past. Not meaning it isn't possible I'll make other mistakes. I have plenty of energy for a comeback, been storing up for a long time. I think I will be able to recognize motivations and red flags. I am anxious to adapt my life to someone else and I don't expect to get things perfect. The only thing I wait for, really, is for the right man to stumble across my path. For someone to whom I am attracted to also be attracted to me....it's really pretty simple. These men, and it seems a somewhat common phenomenon, don't know why, like to tell me I'm afraid of something. I'm not. Feck....as far as I can tell, I've got more gumption than most men I meet: which may be part of the problem....need a man who has some too, rather than someone who is stuck in neutral. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 3:28:19 PM |
It has been so long since I was in a serious relationship, whatever baggage did exist turned to ashes and disintegrated years ago.
IMO, Hummm, strong words,it's over!
She wants a man now but still is has past"gnashing of teeth" and making it think it's anybody guess.
Right. Nice try, as when ones wants to go forward but really can't cuz,yup you guessed it.
These men, and it seems a somewhat common phenomenon, don't know why, like to tell me I'm afraid of something.Feck....as far as I can tell, I've got more gumption than most men I meet:
Another stab in the dark in "the self fullfilling prophecy "to validate why it won't happen for me.
I haven't been here long on the fora but I will say that is phenomenon ,
in projecting and repeating itself, between men and women of what is the problem and what really is the roadblock in moving on.
Forgive,let it go, cuz if you don't ,you will never be free, to live, love and move on...
And that takes real"gumption" Pick your drink or pick your poison....
~Peace~ | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:33:55 PM | | ^^^Jim: you have no idea at all what you are talking about, none whatsoever. Wow. This simply makes my point about jumping to conclusions about people whom you do not know personally. There isn't even anyway to respond to this....it's really quite ludicrous....there is no way you could be farther off base. But, I suppose I could tell you that until I'm blue in the face, to no avail. You want to believe this, you choose to believe this? Okay. Have fun. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:52:08 PM | Oh God Jim! You truly have taken what Ismene has said incorrecty. I have always respected what you have had to say, but I would ask that you go back and re-read what she posted. I totally understand what the lady has tried to convey to us all and it wasn't what you thought it was.
And YOU miss Rusty? Your stupid list? OMG...this gal recognizes a lot of what you said. And she doesn't like it! Would appear she needs to do some fine tuning darlin! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:59:03 PM | I understand where Ms. Rusty is coming from. The list she makes is mainly for people who have been, recently, or maybe not so recently, through difficult marriages and even more difficult divorces. I haven't been through either, and most of it, if not all, doesn't apply to my circumstance. I think we never marrieds are in a very different ballpark than those who have been married, although I have done the living together thing .... but it was truly a long, long time ago. I am sure everyone has issues, and I'm not immune. But I am truly not coming from the burned and bitter squad, and I am not afraid at all....just have become more thoughtful and aware of the type of man and relationship I want and need. What I meant by men telling me I am afraid of being hurt is that is why they tell me I don't want to jump into bed with them....well, gosh.....I think it's pretty obvious what is going on there. Mr. Man: I don't want to jump into bed with you cause I don't want to....got nothing to do with being afraid of being hurt. And me having more gumption than most men I meet: fecking hell, read my profile: how many men, or women, do you meet who are running all over the world by themselves having one terrific adventure after another? If I could meet a man who wasn't afraid to live his dreams, I'd meet the man of my dreams..... (Oh, and please, whoever, please don't tell me I am running away from something. Not everyone is motivated by fear. I am running to, TO, things...to fulfill life long dreams, to see and experience all that I have ever dreamed of seeing and experiencing....not running from, running to...)
...and btw, for anyone at all's edification, anyone who might be interested, the type of man (and woman) I admire is one who 'observes the world around him and develops an awareness of it rather than just reacting to it, whose goal is not to validate preconceived ideas but to understand and to learn.'
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:00:05 PM | Jeez, guys....
We, those over 45, have baggage. It's just a fact of life, and comes with living a life. How we deal with that is the real key. There are those here in the fora who have frozen who they are in fear of exposing themselves to the percieved dangers of a new relationship.
There are also those, the majority it seems to me, that are willing to accept that we've learned some lessons, have found the way to be more accepting, kinder, more willing to reach out to find that "last great love".
There are clearly those that are quite happy to be alone in mid-life. That's fine, they've made whatever adjustments in how they deal with life to accept that state of being alone. There are, again in my opinion, many more that want, even need, to taste one more (and hopefully last) time that joy of sharing life with someone.
As always, the trick is in finding that someone who is also willing to seek the way to finding that someone who can give that sense of fulfillment, can deal with your "ghosts", just as you've learned to deal with theirs. It's really not rocket science...it is possible to be over 45 and still find happiness. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be here, nor I think would many of you. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:36:24 PM | Ah, Oldfolkie, I like the way you phrase your thoughts!
And, I am very much like Ismene in never having been married...and I agree that we are in sort of a different mindset overall from others (although I hate to generalize). I'm definitely single, but not alone -- friends and family are really important.
I did make a decision recently that 10 or 15 years ago, I would definitely not have made! It was an internal offer for a sort of promotion at work; no extra pay for sure, and a lot more responsibility (and stress). After thought and consultation with others, I turned it down. I'm very happy with my work right now (and yep, Ismene, I am a sort of teacher!), but more important, I feel that already I have taken far enough time away from personal friendships and relationships. I am changing my focus for 2009, and creating much more of a network for emotional support and stability.
So, yes, I certainly may remain single. As I have noted, I wouldn't say I am ecstatic about it -- not dancing for joy, that's for sure! But I now know that I am much, much happier with a good solid framework of family, friendships, and other relationships.
What can I say, fellow POFers? I am a late bloomer and it takes me a long time to learn my lessons well!   | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:18:46 PM | Whoa dudes...........I see a whole lot of misconstruing goin' on!
I think oldfolkie got it....and Miss Moon don't know who pooped on your pizza, but don't shoot the delivery girl! I really do believe, like Jim, that the reason a lot people aren't connecting, tho they say they want to, has to do with fear....and/but it may not necessarily be OUR fear....Ismene got it btw.
Where I think Jim went off base was .....getting PERSONAL. Jim you can't tell people that 'they' are fearful.
#1 You don't really know them (the individual) or their motivations....because lets get real, knowing people sometimes takes years.
#2 Assuming or projecting a personal trait of yours onto another is called just that.....Projection.
* In psychology, psychological projection (or projection bias) is a defense mechanism in which one attributes one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts and/or emotions to others. According to (Wade, Tavris, 2000) projection occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else..[1]
An example of such simple behavior would be; blame for failure, making an excuse for your own faults by projecting the cause of said failure onto someone else, hence blaming them and not accepting the reality of the failure. One would argue that you are projecting the threatening feelings.
#3 Not realizing that a lot, didn't say most, but a lot of women at this point in life don't think that a little sex on the side is a viable option for their emotional well being.....that may work for guys, but it rarely does for mature, intelligent, still emotionally open women. We like more life involvement to make sex great not just a release when the pressure builds.....because the pressure in your heart is still there.
And last of all
#4 Being flip about another persons emotions.
Now I'm growing to know Ms. Ismene, I know that she is new to online dating and is honest as the day is long and is working her way through the quagmire and trying to understand how all of this works and simply talking out loud about it here on the forums as a way to find out what others are thinking about this world and bringing up her goals and expectations.
So talk to me after 3 years of trying to find a reasonable 'one' in a million  if you want to talk about fear......none of which btw is my own. Maybe you really haven't a clue what life is like on the other side of this looking glass that we're trolling around?
Not everyone is in a geographical location that allows for a 500,000 population dating pool all within a 2 hours drive (which is actually way too far for many). At our age there is no one throwing themselves at our feet for anything but an interchangeble, quick fix of the day. Most of you (and I said 'most' not 'you') men are looking for younger....statistically proven, not a bitter tirade, just a fact. You can be old, fat, scrawny, bald, sedentary and 2 steps from Alzheimers with a limp d1ck.....but still have visions of DESERVING Barbi, in bikini, on a platter and that the women, any woman should be thrilled to be in his awesome presence  . The Islamic ideal heaven is in many mens hearts, ahem.....or should I say fantasies and where is the perfect place for them to congregate, in the comfort of their own homes to peruse the cornucopia of options available? Yep you guessed it  .And if you think trying to say this a thousand times over on deaf ears gives me any pleasure, you're nuts! Oh yeah, we do have the other option of the youngsters knocking on our door to relieve us of the misery of our sexual 'desperation'......see #3.
So having an opinion is wonderful, but also being mature enough to see the other side of the coin is wisdom in my book....and frankly there's little of that floating around.
Except for Oldfolkie of course  ! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 1:15:19 AM | | I believe we have to think that we might end up on our own. Like most we are all looking for someone we can feel passion for. This is so rare that often we seem to back off and except that there is never anyone who will spark us again. It is better to except that we may be alone than to have too higher hopes that it will happen one day.. We all tend to get our selves into other things in our lives to compensate this. We have to prepare our selves to except that maybe this is it. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 3:26:33 AM |
and Miss Moon don't know who pooped on your pizza, but don't shoot the delivery girl!
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty....lol. My apologies. Obviously, what I posted earlier was misconstrued. Sheesh, hate it when that happens! In referring to your "list", I saw a point or two, that hit rather too close to home shall we say? I was rather taken aback by the bare "truth" of what you said. Such an innocent statement on your part, yet, it held such nekid truth for some who read it. Least it did for me hun. So again, I meant no offense, rather the contrary. Such a smart lady you are! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 3:33:18 AM | I believe we have to think that we might end up on our own. Like most we are all looking for someone we can feel passion for. This is so rare that often we seem to back off and except that there is never anyone who will spark us again. It is better to except that we may be alone than to have too higher hopes that it will happen one day.. We all tend to get our selves into other things in our lives to compensate this. We have to prepare our selves to except that maybe this is it.
I agree with this. I am realistic and know darn well chances are good I will not even have one more meaningful relationship in my lifetime. This does not mean I'm not open to it - I put myself out there quite often, open to possibilities. Fear, baggage have nothing to do with it - I think people overanalyze that stuff - for me it's simply a lack of middle-aged men in my area who want to date women my age. There isn't anything I can do about that, and the issue has been done to death - but I need to plan for a realistic future, one I'm likely to actually live, not a fairy tale.
That being said I do see why women turn to younger men for flings. It can get difficult sometimes seeing some of the best years of your life go by with no one around, it's such a waste. I'm beginning to think even a fling would be better than nothing! | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:20:21 AM |
Whoa dudes...........I see a whole lot of misconstruing goin' on!
Right Rusty and thanks for the chapter on Physcolgy 101. ~smile~
I tend to play devil's advocate and for many it can be quite nerve ending I will try to speak in the third person if that helps. I'm not a teacher or doctor so my opinions can be from what I learn in school,upbringing on the street and in real life.
Most of you (and I said 'most' not 'you') men are looking for younger....statistically proven, not a bitter tirade, just a fact. You can be old, fat, scrawny, bald, sedentary and 2 steps from Alzheimers with a limp d1ck.....but still have visions of DESERVING Barbi, in bikini, on a platter and that the women, any woman should be thrilled to be in his awesome presence
Hummm, I'm not sure where that one came from in the discussion but IMO
when one pigeon holes a possible possiblity, has this preconcived notion which they have in affect and would block any attemp in moving forward then the results are already doom from the start.
So having an opinion is wonderful, but also being mature enough to see the other side of the coin is wisdom in my book....and frankly there's little of that floating around.
I believe in being positive and that what 'floats my boat! ~Peace~ | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:46:43 AM |
Most of you (and I said 'most' not 'you') men are looking for younger....statistically proven,
Whoa...most.....I'll assume you're speaking from your own experiences....hmm...most of my mail is from men (over 45) . Statistically proven are some of the most over- and mis- used words. Even if it were truely statistically proven, how does that affect you personally. Maybe I just think differently but the statistically proven men that want younger women aren't the type of man I'd be interested in chatting with. (I'm not "looking" anyway....haha)
not a bitter tirade, just a fact.
If you have to protest......like "this isn't a pity thread"......just saying..
You can be old, fat, scrawny, bald, sedentary and 2 steps from Alzheimers with a limp d1ck.....but still have visions of DESERVING Barbi, in bikini, on a platter and that the women, any woman should be thrilled to be in his awesome presence
You sure you want to state this as fact....ehh. I don't know maybe you've met a bunch of men that fit this description, I'd bet it wouldn't be more than a few.
I've had email from over 45 men who many partially fit your detailed description (couldn't say about the limp........) I've also had plenty of email from over 45 men who are very attractive, intelligent, witty........fun to chat with and get to know......and I'm HARDLY a Barbie...
There are men that have posted in this thread that I've chatted with that are quite the total package IMO!!
Look, just suggesting.....I think you'd be a lot happier if you don't let a few horned up ignorant lecherous old goats who would jump on their granddaughter's friends in a heartbeat get you turned off to all the over 45 guys. Or you can, that's your choice.
I'm happy in my life as it is, for the last 17 years it's been single (widowed).
I also enjoy the company of great men, as friends or a "date" or even...egad....yes, an SO. I don't think in terms of being single the rest of my life or not, having a long term relationship or being married again isn't a "goal". I do think in terms of being happy the rest of my life, as long as I am that, it's all good.  | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:52:20 AM | Was married for 20 yrs..we raised 5 kids....got married to young with no experience...but stayed with it for what-ever reason knowing it wasnt right.I have dated and there have been plenty that want to get married but with what Ive gone thru...with the divorce...I wont again and have lost some for that.Its a personal choice and those who worry about being alone end up with some nut or someone that bleeds them...I am better for the things Ive done in my life and thankful I still have a job...As far as woman...I have and will continue to date....but not for marriage and those woman are always told...and either accept or move on.... | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:34:44 AM | Different strokes for different strokes Bucsgirl.... if you're just cruising for amusement, fine that's what you want, may not be the case with others, I'm in the market for a semi-permanent foot warmer, just fact.
I just call 'em as I see 'em and my pond may look a tad different from yours ....as for the rest, give me a call in 10 years and we'll see if anything's changed . | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 9:17:09 AM | Well Jim I guess you didn't want to discuss any of points #1, 2, 3 or 4 and how you seem to be practicing a patronizing bent while judging others instead of addressing the discussion.
So if I've got it right, it's ok if you use pop psychology, but not ok for us to defend a position using the same method? Hmm...catch anything wrong with that picture? But it's 'positive' if you attack (and call it being the devils advocate) someone who you don't know, their character or motivations and then use a backhanded sarcasm clothed in {'smiles' and 'peace'} to supposedly soften the blow? Now if that is the case I could pull out some more pop psychology and put a name to what that might just be called....Passive-Aggressive. Here is the definition:
***"Passive-aggressive personality disorder (also called negativistic personality disorder) is a personality disorder said to be marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations. [that means you say one thing but mean another]
Merely being passive-aggressive isn't a disorder but a behavior — which lets you dodge unpleasant chores while avoiding confrontation. It's only pathological if it's a habitual, crippling response reflecting a pervasively pessimistic attitude.[1]
Treatment of this disorder can be difficult: efforts to convince the subject that their unconscious feelings are being expressed passively, and that the passive expression of those feelings (their behavior) inspires other people's anger or disappointment with the patient, are often met with resistance. Individuals with the disorder will frequently leave treatment claiming that it did no good. Since the effectiveness of various therapies has yet to be proven, these individuals may be correct."***
Did you notice this little line? " the passive expression of those feelings (their behavior) inspires other people's anger or disappointment with the patient."
Funny how 2 can play at the same judgmental game and it doesn't feel too great when you're on the receiving end?
I find that truth itself is quite "positive"....
"Truth comes as conqueror only to those who have lost the gift of receiving it as a friend." R. Tagore | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:10:40 AM | Seriously sorry I seemed to have caused so much controversy. I realize I over-reacted in my initial response. I don’t retract anything I said; however, I could have been more (okay I wasn’t at all) diplomatic. Ms. R is right: I am not at all interested in any kind of casual sexual relationship: just not my style. She is also right in that I am new to this whole online thing, and naïve, and a slow learner as well.
I'll assume you're speaking from your own experiences….I don't know maybe you've met a bunch of men that fit this description, I'd bet it wouldn't be more than a few.
I've had email from over 45 men who many partially fit your detailed description (couldn't say about the limp........) I've also had plenty of email from over 45 men who are very attractive, intelligent, witty........fun to chat with and get to know......and I'm HARDLY a Barbie
Buscsgirl: you have overlooked one of Rusty’s most salient points, that of geographical location. It has to do with not being in the States; this limits the dating pool for both of us so that our options become a small fraction of what are those of any average woman in the States. For example, I have been on POF for 2 or 3 months now, maybe longer? My POF 'matches' are the same 4 or 5 men, week in and week out, for virtually all of the time I have been here. Not 4 men a week, 4 to 5 men so far, for a period of months!!!!!
It also has to do with culture (which is not consistent throughout Europe, but varies from one country to the next), and it has, for me, to do with language and the fact I do not intend to stay in this particular country for very long, and have no idea which will be the next country I land in.
Ms. Moon & Oldfolkie:   | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 1:11:39 PM |
Buscsgirl: you have overlooked one of Rusty’s most salient points, that of geographical location.
I didn't address that particular aspect, I do see your point and agree.
My profile like Jim's is looking for friends and I've been fortunate enough to have met and known many wonderful men and women.
I do live in a large metro area, that only relates to quantity so there are more available men considering geographical constraints. More men means more email, I still meet only a very few. I realize that is my choice I can't say if it would be different if I lived somewhere else, because I've lived here nearly all of my life.
I do understand how only having a very few that would fit your particular parameters would be a different experience and if you did want to find someone to date, understand your frustration.
The fat, balding, etc. men you were speaking of, I didn't mean anything derogatory to you personally, we have them here....because of the population I'd bet we have more quantity-wise.
I can't even guess what amount of POF members live in our metro area but pretty sure it'd be way in the thousands. Probably a lot more than members that live in your country.
I would hope that you wouldn't limit your total dating pool to POF. If I knew of something else to suggest, I'd gladly do so.
You have to deal with your own parameters and limitations, same as the rest of us. Quantity isn't always the answer. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 1:38:41 PM | | Of course not bucsgirl.... I only come to pof to vent my spleen (god are my knickers showing again?) but as you see, not everybody is in the same pond or even ocean.........and so it goes, another day on planet earth . | |
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yeah babe, but your pool is most everybody else who needs the pill 
.