| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 1:38:41 PM | Of course not bucsgirl.... I only come to pof to vent my spleen  (god are my knickers showing again?) but as you see, not everybody is in the same pond or even ocean.........and so it goes, another day on planet earth  . | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:51:21 PM | I will be 45 in 19 days. I had a bad marriage and several difficult but deep relationships. And I am almost completely ready to be single forever. Just call me the ice queen, frozen in fear. Toooooooo many ghosts haunt my sleeping and waking moments.
It’s not so bad being single, you can go where and when you want. You can cook what and when you want. No one fussing or guilting you into what you don’t want.
On the flip side you don’t have anyone to share your thoughts with or hold when you’re sad and it’s hard to paddle a canoe alone.
Like I said, I’m ALMOST completely ready to be single forever.
Did I get too personal and miss the point. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:25:15 PM | madam im not rude ,just dont like the fact women are treated like meat.
i will bow out graceful like
p.s with respect you are stereotyping me as a rude drunken brit. i am honest and decent ,you do not even know me .your rude | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:37:53 PM |
Will you be happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Since I have no idea what will be past today, this moment, all I can do is find happiness NOW.
If my path is one of being alone, then it's up to me to deal with that best I can. And taking responsibility for BEING alone is the first action.
There are times, OP, when I prefer being alone, not answering to anyone and not having to deal with anyone's drama, but those moments are just as easily weighed by ones wanting to share and lean as well.
My preference right now is to be single. I don't foresee it staying that way forever, but who knows what tomorrow will bring or take away..... so I just deal with today. I do "my work" and trust my Higher Power has things in control.
Once I start fookin' with things, that's when things usually end up messy. So today I'm single, by choice. Tomorrow may bring a new day and with it Prince Kinda Charming. I'm hoping I'm here to meet him... and haven't taken the day off. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:47:47 PM | How about "prince semi-charming"?????...... 
OT......I am with "bullie" on this one, and that is a scary thought in many many ways............... 
Today I am single by choice, and I do not know what tomorrow may bring, but if it stays as it has for some time, I will still be single by choice, with some side adventures in the present that make it all worth while...... 
Just my opinion......   | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:43:41 PM | It is possible, based on what I'm learning about single life in these forums perhaps more than possible, that a lot of us, maybe most of us, will end up being single for the rest of our lives, and so I am wondering whether this is something we may just have to accept (for me that's what it would be), or is it something we prefer?
Things are no longer gray as we age and mature. Things in life become black and white.
I, for one, am not willing to babysit a younger woman still figuring it out about 'making sound judgements'. Been there, done that, and not interested in watching the lessons being learned by another......I would come off as judgemental
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 5:57:48 AM | I truly do not look forward to spending the rest of my days as a single woman. But the amount of BS I am willing to tolerate is so minimal that I suppose I should spend more time considering it?
What did I say?
For Pete's sake, like I have nothing better to do than to sit around contemplating what may or may not be. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:07:02 AM | I think that a problem that arises, for me and several I know at least, is that we get used to being single, making our own choices, having it our way all the time, and we like it, I like it, which makes us pickier than we were when we were young and didn’t understand what freedoms are given up when you enter a relationship. So we stay single longer or even forever.
Truly, it’s nice to pick your own living room suit out without discussion but what the point of having a big comfy couch if you have no one to snuggle on it with
It’s nice to see the movies you want to see and not the movies that were chosen by compromise
But it’s no fun having no one to talk about the movie with
Personally, here I go getting personal again, it’s the words “don’t go for a walk in the woods today, it’s too cold” “don’t paddle that lake its too big” I seem to date men who think I need looking after, which only makes me want to leave them, maybe I should date someone whose always gone
Or maybe I shouldn’t date at all
Fickle thy name is ….me
I'm definitely undecided and I think many others are too
looking for the perfect fit that I don't think exists | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:32:58 AM | Perhaps marriage is no longer a valid institution in this day and age/
LAT -Living Apart Together seems like an easier option where we meet for fun , holiday and others/
Divorce rate stand at 1 in 4 in UK, as bad as cancer stats..so is marriage as cancerous?
I had a happy marriage but lost my husband to cancer. I come to realise that friendship outlast and outlive marriages..so make friends and have fun.
When i get to 70 if i am lucky i will check into a swanky old folks compound , hold hands with a lovely 60 year old toy boy..and have fun..
Happiness to me is not dependent on my marital status nor who I need to be with..it is my own state of mind ..i love the liberation of being single ,and find increasingly if i cannot find someone to tick all my boxes then find different men or even women to tick different boxes....so i need a plumber, an electrician, a gardener, a housekeeper, a sex partner, a roller blader, a sailor , a hairdresser and a lovely cook to keep me happy...any applicant .. ?
Impulsive | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:58:14 AM | "I am wondering whether this is something we may just have to accept , or is it something we prefer?"
For me at first it was something that I accepted because I didn't see anyone I wanted to be with more than I want to be alone. That changed into prefering to be alone because of the single lifestyle I have created for myself. I wouldn't have believe it years ago if someone told me I would rather be alone............nor would I have believed that I would have some many wonderful friends both here and internationally that are so much more fun than the dates offered. We can choose our misery and single people, or we can figure out what would thrill us and then go do it.
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:58:09 PM | I think I've spent more time alone in my life than with being with someone. I guess I'm comfortable being alone, it's the way I roll. I don't think there's anything wrong with me. But people around me, especially in relationships, find it disturbing. Well, put it this way; some people have to have someone to be happy, some think that they need to have someone to feel socially accepted, and then there's some who prefer to be alone.
Somehow, those who chose to be alone are the one's who are looked down upon. For instance, the constant reason that some hitched women are compelled to "fix" me up with either their girlfriend or sister. I don't look miserable, desperate, or unhappy, but for some reason - there must be something wrong with me (as they think). I go through this psychological examination by skeptical women. It is a friggin' joke to put me through this prying questioning, as I don't ask anyone why I'm alone. These amateur psychologists come up with their own conclusions, either "I'm afraid of women", "I'm too independent", or something in the line as "not being sensitive enough". Accusations run wild as they keep guessing. I just sit back and shake my head in disbelief. I should say them, "just accept it, not everybody is the same".
To put it this way, if someone feels secure with themselves to go on with life alone, more power to them. Being single is a great thing, you're definately free to do what you want, anytime you want. I would say the perfect companion for me is someone who enjoys being alone and when spending time together isn't spent questioning or playing games, but enjoying each other. That is hard to find. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:29:03 PM | | I definately would not be happy to stay single for the rest of my life, but I am happy being single now. When the time comes that a special someone happens into my life then I will be happy to be in a relationship again. It is not something that I am actively seeking, I think that it will just happen when the time is right. | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 12/20/2008 9:13:10 PM | Hi everyone. I'm a newbie.
i've been single for 10 years now. I'm fine being single. I sure don't feel the need to be married to complete my life. But if the right person came a long that could change. I never say never. I'm here to make friends!
Happy Holidays everyone.
kelly | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:50:28 PM | I can say I am happy with who I am today then I ever have been in years and live my life being content. lifes not always what we expect it to be but hey, just gotta make the best of it. I hope to not be single for the rest of my life. I hope to find someone to share our lives together, til then I continue to do what I enjoy doing.  | |
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| Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:12:56 PM | There are many things that aren't exactly fun and happiness but often we don't have much choice. When younger, I did guy things and was pretty much a tech wizard. Never did have the tall gene. Dates were few and far between but it didn't bother near as much as the dates that went terribly wrong. Examples are being attacked by a future husband and have a date substitute a girl that out weighed me 200 pounds while my original date chose John the deadbeat. She later asked to borrow money to bail him out and she wasn't alone in that score! She said she dumped me because I was too nice. Who says nice guys don't finish last?
So is it any better? Now I see a disproportionate number of smokers, bar flies, and bible thumpers mixed with those that appear to be stranded at the buffet line and scarce little intellect. I still haven't had that genetic engineering to make me tall and I too have spent too much time in the buffet but I can still fit my kayak and sail even my littlest boat. I have no plans to become a motorcycle riding Marlboro man so my chances of finding "compatible" seem slim. So many ask for humor but I tire of the juvenile level I must retreat to for their humor.
What's the future? I will continue to enjoy guy things, be the tech guru, and invent more gadgets. When I get too old, I'll hire some starving single mom to come in a take care of the chores and I'll die with fantasies of what could have been but I won't be unhappy. | |
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