| C'Mere, I'll do ya'.
Posted: 10/29/2008 2:03:08 AM | I'm MIA for a little bit, but I haven't given up on you all  | |
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| Palomar
Posted: 10/30/2008 12:47:21 AM | Yanno what would be fun, Sis?
We should have Rory review him.
I don't know anything about dangling participles
do you? | |
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| Palomar
Posted: 10/30/2008 3:35:06 AM | Good pics. The main shot is artistically captured. The others are action cubes, and give excellent samples of what excites you.
I'm a believer in splashing 50 + interests down in the bar provided. Why not? If some cool (or hot) gal glazes over the first 20, something down the list, mentioned as an afterthought, might be the thing that flicks her bic.
"Cave ab homine unius libri." - Aquinas
But what if it's a really good book? Ha.
Look, I sympathize, and agree in general, with your emphasis on screening for intelligent, creative women. But I'd nix the overkill, specifically:
Better writing will improve the quality of first messages that you receive, pinky swear! We men aren't very bright, so we need your help. And polite men may be holding back, while our knuckle-dragging brothers flood your inbox.
Three major strikes against this:
1) Urging a woman to write "better" will put up a hurdle where none should exist. It's a breezy intro, after all, not a philosophical dating exegesis.
2) Urging a woman to write "better" is useless. Those whom you want to attract will already have the wherewithall and concern to satisfy your strictures; those who don't make the grade won't pass that high bar by boning up on Strunk & White during commercials on Judge Judy.
3) "Polite men" who "hold back" aren't seen as attractive POF options. Whether you're a knuckle-dragger or a refined peruser of arcane tidbits from Kant, women want men to initiate contact. So the last two sentences of the quoted passage above comes off as a weak defensive posture, a cop-out.
In short: pics are excellent; clearly describing who you're looking for is also superb. Lose the forbidding negative gatekeeping. We get that you're a bright fellow. No need to browbeat any hopeful contestants about it.
Cheers
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| Palomar
Posted: 10/30/2008 11:37:23 AM | We've got all the bases covered in this review thread.
 Thanks for helping out, brother.
I drag both my knuckles and my ass along the carpet.
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| Palomar
Posted: 10/30/2008 11:44:44 AM | | Brutalize my profile for fun and profit please :) | |
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| Palomar
Posted: 10/30/2008 10:24:32 PM | | Thank you, Rory and Brawny. I will work on it. Very helpful. I was thinking many of the same things too, but I couldn't articulate the problem. | |
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| Palomar
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:38:27 AM | Brawny? Rory? stick around, you're good at this.
Palomar, everything you have on your profile , I totally agree with. Had this been a thread, I'd have jumped in to list my own pet peeves. It's not, though... it is your social resume as it relates to this site.
The average woman will be afraid to write you because you might mock her grammar, diction, spelling or usuage (leave my ellipses alone, dammit... I KNOW they're incorrect, but I'm emotionally attached) . They might have a valid thought that if 80 percent of your profile is with finding fault, might this be how you are in real life?
Keep it positive!
Pictures? I agree with Rory that they are good shots that demonstrate you doing what you love, but I'd replace all but the best two or three music pictures. Every woman who has ever dated a musician knows that some get so sucked into the music that they don't have time for their girlfriend. You don't want that special woman to think you're one of those.
You're obviously witty and intelligent, show that off in a positive , upbeat way
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| wtbskillz
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:57:25 AM | screenname? ewwww... pluralizing with a "z" ... you've hit on my pet peeve before you got out of the gate.
Enjoying my time so far on plenty of fish.
plentyoffish translation?... plentyoffish has gotten me laid several times.
Don't make her wonder if she needs to bring a lysol coated condom on the third date. 
A little about me I am a 29 year old male. I live in New Jersey
redundant... it's already elsewhere in your profile.
I listen to music all the time never catch me without my IPOD.I love all sorts of music from Classical to Metal. I prefer alternative bands and would love to share notes on music as I always take peoples suggestions on good bands.
it could make a woman wonder if you're one of those guys who obsesses over music and gets angry if you don't agree about which bands are coolest.
My match would of course have to be funny and a great personality. Should have a great sense of humor and a good idea of who she is and what she wants. I don’t think this an unfair request. She should be a more new age woman independent smart, however I often will like to be a gentlemen and she should appreciate those things as well. So I suppose she should be a mix of modern and old fashioned. I am an easy person to talk to and almost everyone I meet on this get along with me very easily. I am not possessive I respect my significant other and treat her right.
I really don't even like the concept of "what I'm looking for" blurbs from those who ARE actively looking. Most women will see you as too picky or demanding.
I'd skip this entirely and focus on who YOU are and what you have to offer. Do your filtering with email, not your profile.
So if this sounds like we would be a match would love to hear from you. I enjoy instant messaging on AOL or MSN since it’s easier for me at work... However I love a good phone call or meet up as well. Hope to hear from you soon.
this is wasted space. Every woman here has her own timetable for when she moves it from email to Im, IM to the phone, and phone to meeting. Don't mess with that or she'll feel like you're invading her personal space. | |
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| Bring it on
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:04:06 AM | | Hi, whats your opinion of my profile? | |
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| happygolucky81
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:29:32 AM | clean up the bad usuage and diction.
Remove all , and I do mean ALL of the references to what you want and don't want.
The former sounds picky and impossible to please, the latter sounds supremely negative.
The reference to IM users just effectively offended every woman that reads your profile. Kill it in a hurry.
Overall in reading your profile? Despite several "no, I'm nice, really" caveats, you do sound rather arrogant and pompous, and I get the feeling from your defensive denials that you've been told that before.
What's more? You strike me as very superior in an "I'm improving myself and you're not" kind of way. That's not at all attractive. Even worse, you throw in a few cheesey corporate motivation slogans that make you sound like a salesman wannabe.
I don't know whether to advise you to change this or not, because it does give me a good idea of who you are. I just don't care for the person that you represent yourself as.
Sorry. But I did say that I would be honest.
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| C'Mere, I'll do ya'.
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:35:11 AM | | Pandy, could you possibly review my profile? Be honest, I can take it. | |
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| Somel
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:35:14 AM | Pictures are essential... the one you have up is better than nothing, but you look very dour and unhappy. Fill up all 8 picture slots.
Revise your text to include more about you... the information you have is good {aside from the , "there aren't many good women left" thing... which sounds negative}, but it's in choppy, insignificant little sentences. Try to structure two or three midsize paragraphs that flow a little better. | |
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| TheBaldGuy
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:39:56 AM | I've seen "this is the worst of me" profiles that work, but I honestly don't think it's working for you.
Change the screen name... it'll have some doing the unread/delete without ever opening your profile in the first place. You are one of the guys out there that can carry off bald, but the phrase conjures up George Costanza types.
As soon as you read this, you must immediately kill the "do I have any boogers" photo in the middle. It's awful and does not do you any favors at all.
Frankly, your text makes it sound as though you're gonna be obnoxious, and sloppy and proud of it. I don't think this truly represents you. Find another , less unpleasant, way to let a woman know that you are assertive and self-aware. | |
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| TheBaldGuy
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:41:44 AM | | Thank You Pandy. I appreciate your honesty. | |
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| brizguy
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:48:00 AM |
I don't need to find "the life of the party", and I don't need a spaced out dreamer....Somewhere in between would be great, and if you have a passion for something then that would be a bonus so I can see the enjoyment in your eyes when you describe it to me.
lose this... use your email and female profiles to find what you want, a laundry list of what you're looking for is never a good idea.
You know that you need new pictures... take care of that asap.
Kill the motorcycle picture, and the picture of your kid. Feel free to share those with someone you've been dating, but they are inappropriate on a dating site profile.
Motorcycles? I have kick ass DR650 myself, and I've been target shooting for a couple of decades, .. but most women are just not into bikes or guns.
You need to list a few interests that typical women can envision themselves doing with you... and avoid sounding like a girlfriend will be a spectator in your life instead of enjoying it with you. | |
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| fun_guy431
Posted: 11/1/2008 2:19:48 PM | There's nothing bad about your profile, it's just got the same affliction as everyother profile here... it's blah, and makes you sound just like a million other guys.
What sets you apart from every other guy here? Are you particular about keeping your hands clean , do you wear purple socks to sleep? Give us something about you to show us that you have personality. | |
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| mr penguin
Posted: 11/1/2008 3:03:46 PM | I can't stress enough... MORE pictures. The one you have up is dark, and I can't tell what you look like.
Your profile sounds a little bit stiff and wooden. Shades of "see Jane run". Lose the isolated little sentences and create two to three sizeable paragraphs. You're an author, right?
Practice those skills on your profile. Set yourself apart from the pack. | |
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| cowboybt5
Posted: 11/1/2008 3:30:34 PM | all in all, a pretty good profile. It does exactly what it's supposed to do.
I would like to see you reveal a bit more of your personality, and revise your format to make it a little smoother and less choppy. | |
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| GDS
Posted: 11/1/2008 3:34:30 PM | thank you , kind of you to say.
you need some pictures of you NOT looking grumpy your caption denying that you are is not enough.
Your text sounds pretty good, and gives me a good impression of who you are... just try and revamp it so that the flow is a little smoother. | |
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| C'Mere, I'll do ya'.
Posted: 11/1/2008 3:40:56 PM | Frankly? You are trying much too hard to be avant garde.
Relax a little, in attempting to be unique you've become weird.
I don't think you're really weird, just searching for an identity.
This is not a good one. | |
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