| | I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationshipPage 5 of 22 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22) | It is incomprehensible to me that there is even any question of there being good men. Of course there are. Most men are good. I can only imagine that it's a case of having a very narrow view, which is immune somehow to revision in the face of its ineffectiveness. Can this be an example of maintaining a mistaken premise? Let's assume for the sake of argument that almost all men are decent, honest and well-intentioned (as I beleive them to be). Given that premise, what could possibly account for the experience of not finding any?
Is it a failure of perception, that the good men are not recognized?
Is it a prefernec for the illusion that the reason for being single is external, rather than internal?
Is it because some other reward is better than a relationship?
I would love to see any list of what makes for a "decent man" that most of the men at this site could not match. It might be a good reality check, as they say. | |
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| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 7:13:04 PM | forest my ass.theres just alot of people out there asking for too much up front,how can you tell someone exactly what your looking for and expect to get it that way.hell I wanted a football career but that didnt happened so I settled and in the long run thats what we will all do ,we aim high and then wait to settle ,Im not saying its right ,but thats what I see going on and Ive done in the pass ,mick jagger put it well when he said, you cant allways get what you want ,but if you find sometimes you get what you need,oh baby,sorry i like the oh baby part of that.my point is saying you quit is not the answer ,just keep looking and who knows maybe you wont have to settle . | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 103 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 7:15:48 PM | @ random
Deep down inside I know their are still decent men out there. They just seem to elude me for some reason. As for your question on what makes a decent man I guess it depends on who you are asking. The answers would vary a great deal. My list would include : honesty, integrity, sense of humour, respectful, faithful, intelligent, decent morals and values ... must I say more. | |
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zgirl
| | Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 104 | |
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| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 7:19:37 PM | | hey ritz I just looked at your profile, honey you need to come to florida and let this man treat you like you want to be treated,that may be my problem ,Im limiting my scope to just local ladys and should be looking further than I have,grab some sunblock and come on down ,dont throw in the towel ,sell your house and move ,or atleast come visit you never know what might happen | |
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zgirl
| | Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 108 | |
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Darma
| | Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 109 | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 110 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 8:04:22 PM | Geez, what do I have to do to get a man to pay attention to me (inside and out). Remove all my clothes and stand there naked. I think that one might backfire. lol They would run in the other direction. Actually when I did my POF hidden investigation and put a boob shot I did get lots of e-mails. I almost got banned also. Yikes !!!! Not such a great idea after all. Seriously folks, I'm at a loss here. Will I go to my grave an old maid. I'm certainly headed in that direction.    | |
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krayon
| | Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 112 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 8:24:39 PM | Hey Ritz,
First.. it's just a new handle name (long story). Still me though.
Now, to my thoughts to you. Do not.. I repeat NOT remove your clothing to get a man (I realize you're kidding..but, some aren't..some will go to whatever means necessary). You are good looking, intelligent, witty, etc. "He" just hasn't happened across your path yet. "He" will come along. "You" may have to initiate contact first though.
There are thousands upon thousands of guys out there. Take the time to just go through profiles and shoot an email to the ones who catch your attention. If you get one response for every 20 you send, "He" might be that one.
The ones who turn out to be dipshits,.. be glad to be rid of em and move on to the next.
Keep the flow/groove on and it will happen. It WILL happen.
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 113 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 8:27:48 PM | @ random4
I've already contacted some of them men I find interesting on here. Some have contacted me first. Most of the people I've contacted have been men I've met through the forums. I feel as if I already know alot about them before that first e-mail. You get a feel for their personality, morals and values. I've been very lucky because they have all responded and pretty much stay in touch. Why couldn't things go that smoothly in the real world. People ask me all the time why I'm single. They can't believe I'm not taken. I don't know what to respond anymore to that question. I've given many replies over the years.
P.S. I've even contacted a man with a motorcyle wheel posted. Wonder who that could be. LOL | |
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| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 8:36:03 PM | Fro those of you not meeting your self-imposed goals, Stop looking for "Mr./Ms. Right" and enjoy Mr./Ms. "Right-for-now". You might find s/he's more than you anticipated even if not quite what you hoped for or expected. Let go of your self-imposed boundaries on occasion. It will cost you nothing and might gain you a new world.
^ could be an attitude of "settling", if she's not what you really want, why bother? quick screw? fling?
your profile limits to 75 miles, so there is one huge boundary. practice what you preach much? | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 116 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 8:44:16 PM | Fro those of you not meeting your self-imposed goals, Stop looking for "Mr./Ms. Right" and enjoy Mr./Ms. "Right-for-now". You might find s/he's more than you anticipated even if not quite what you hoped for or expected. Let go of your self-imposed boundaries on occasion. It will cost you nothing and might gain you a new world.
^ could be an attitude of "settling", if she's not what you really want, why bother? quick screw? fling?
your profile limits to 75 miles, so there is one huge boundary. practice what you preach much
@ Demonchild
^^^^^^^^
I have no restrictions on my profile. People can contact me from 20,000 miles. I double checked. I'm not restricted to 75 miles. People e-mail from Canada, the US and even other countries. They couldn't do this if I was limited to a 75 mile range. | |
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| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 9:07:00 PM | Hi Miss Ritz!! Sorry to see you so down and considering "throwing in the towel", but I do know what you mean. I kinda had to put the "fish" in a new perspective after a while, and just play in the forums. It's just too limited and shallow in here a lot of the time. Taking POF too seriously is a BIG mistake. Love ta hear from ya, and feel free...
Bye for now...
Jessee | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 120 | |
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| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 10:07:10 PM | | Ritz (and the other discouraged people), I agree with the folks who suggested that you take a break from dating for awhile and focus on yourself. Do some things you enjoy doing, go some places you have wanted to go, learn some new things, and spend time with your friends. Maybe you'll feel like resuming your search later. | |
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GzUp
| | Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 125 | |
| I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/23/2005 10:35:56 PM | "I never thought I would see the day where I would finally give up on finding that special someone to share my life with. To close the door on any future relationship or even wanting to date casually. I guess that day has finally come. I'm throwing in the towel. I've decided to no longer invest the time and energy into getting to know someone of the opposite sex. To all the people who have read my threads throughout the past few months they know I've never started a thread to vent or whine so this is a first. LOL I keep hooking up with men who are totally wrong for me. Men who want to change me. I'm sick of being put down. Any advice for this poor gal? How many other POF members are at the end of their rope with the dating scene or the relationship thing. What have you done to replace romance in your life?"
I feel your pain. I feel like maybe I come from another planet sometimes. I didn't think it would be so hard to find someone who just wants to grow and learn from someone else, instead of using you as a means to an end. Things have changed, and finding someone that you can halfway trust has become a futile search to me as well. I feel your pain. They say when you stop looking, you find what you need. I hope that's true because I have stopped looking. Keep the faith. | |
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