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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:40:29 PM | Hello I am enuducated about poetry. Anybody tried to read Petracci (15-16 century poet)? I don't know Italian, but if I read Latin letters, it is very melodic. Of course, it rhymes. I don't think, it will be outdated ever.
Translation from English translation from prose:
Alone and filled with care,
I go thru the fields very slow
My eyes are wide open, I glare
on the sands somewhere bellow.
No other shield do I find
protect me from people's eyes
for nature will somehow bind
my soul from all those lies.
But nothing will salvage my soul,
my love may will make me dead
and I, as the other role,
may also come to an end.
If my death willl make it lighter
if I knew that this torture will stop
I would make this loop tighter and tighter
I would bleed to the last drop.
But know that I am half dead, and no way to trade cry for cry, war for war.
Time will come for the bow even though the arrows are already colored with
blood. I beg love to stop painting me with her colors because it does not
remember to call me to her.
Do I need to trade tear for crying?
Do I need to trade war for my death?
I don't think it is worth even buying
I will live to my lasting breath.
But I beg in my wreath and crying
all I want to be left alive
for I think it's not worth even trying,
and for now I will gladly survive.
LOL | |
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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:41:17 PM | | I am not poetry educated | |
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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:54:40 PM | I feel being dead already
poisoned arrow is in my heart
and my blood on my clothes steady
making soul ready depart
and I beg my love to leave me
and stop painting clothes red
just because she will never believe me
she will never accept me, I bet | |
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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:36:17 PM | Seams to me that you all are nice people
could you please this idea to judge
as the following is my steeple,
but most people think that it's a sludge:
Those verses were written long time ago
by the poet, who liked to be free
into English translate badly wanted I
This is cool, don't you agree?
>>>>>>> | |
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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:37:16 PM | Seams to me that you all are nice people
could you please this idea to judge
as the following is my steeple,
but most people think that it's a sludge:
Those verses were written long time ago
by the poet, who liked to be free
into English translate badly wanted I
This is cool, don't you agree?
>>>>>>> | |
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| Lost Love
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:39:02 PM | One more time
Seems to me that you all are nice people
could you please this idea to judge
as the following is my steeple,
but most people think that it's a sludge:
Those verses were written long time ago
by the poet, who liked to be free
into English translate badly wanted I
This is cool, don't you agree?
THE CAPTIVE
The window's in bars, I live in the cell
I was raised as a captive, it's how do I dwell
My lonely amigo, the eagle in play
is pounding meat, which is what is his prey
he pounced it, leaves it and he is looking at me
as though as he wants me to be on the free
he calls for me, calling me, uttering cry
let's go, bro, let's go; the sky is to fly
We were born for our freedom; let's go, bro, let's go
to where the mountains are like silver in glow
to where is the ocean as blue as could be
to where is no soul, but wind...you and me!!!!
>>>>>>>> | |
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| Turning Me Inside Out.
Posted: 4/5/2006 11:19:24 PM | Here is one altered to play by 14,15 &16 century rules
Turning Me Inside Out.
Staring eyes, touching this soul of my own
Whispering words, reaching to take a heart
Taking new direction, ready to start
Boldly choosing new rules not etched in stone
Charging with quests, conjuring new morale
Hiding the truth of her distinct, choice words
Throwing out many darts, flying like birds
Flying with certainty, I'm not sure how
Then I mention her charming state of mind
She turns to comment, no more darting birds.
Now she shows kindness cautioning her sigh
The likes of which reveal the kiss she blows
Next comes her touch, as gentle as her words
Smiles moves to her face knowing what she knows
—Robert M Pike
I adapted that poem from this one to fit the rules. Even Shakespeare changed petrarchian style to fit the language usage that was popular in his part of the world. I believe the usage of Iambic pentameter doesn't always work out even if you are able to get the right amount of beats, we do not talk as they did in those centuries. I will print the original work that I wrote to show what was sacrificed to achieve the same amount of beats. Then I will come back and show you that the cadences are not always, even in those centuries, followed precisely.
Now, here is the original work by me before I changed the rhythm and rhyme.
Revealing Inside Out
Staring eyes, reaching through the soul of mine own
Whispering words, lashing out to capture a heart
Beating my thoughts, changing direction, ready to start
Blatantly choosing new rules to play by, not written in stone
She charges with hidden quests, conjuring a new morale
Hiding the true essence, of her decisive choice of words
Throwing out a multitude of darts, flying like birds
They fly at me with certainty, I'm not sure how
Then I mention her charming state of mind
She turns to make remark, no more hidden words
Now she shows her kindness cautioning her sigh
The likes of which reveal the gentle kiss she blows
Being followed by her touch, in a gentle, caring, fashion
A smile moves upon her face knowing what she knows
---Robert M Pike
Note: All my work posted is copyrighted 2006 Robert M Pike
be back in a second with some more info on sonnets. ---Robert
Here is some info from wikipedia. The rest of the explanation can be found by doing a search under Iambic pentameter once you enter the site. It will show more departures from the strict rules posted here.
Rhythmic variation
Although strictly speaking, iambic pentameter refers to five iambs in a row (as above), in practice, poets vary their iambic pentameter a great deal, while maintaining the iamb as the most common foot. There are some conventions to these variations, however. Iambic pentameter must always contain only five feet, and the second foot is almost always an iamb. The first foot, on the other hand, is the most likely to change by the use of inversion, which reverses the order of unstress and stress in the foot. For example the first line of Richard III begins with an inversion:
/ x x / x x x / x /
Now is | the win- | ter of | our dis- | con- tent
Another common departure from standard iambic pentameter is the addition of a final unstressed syllable, which creates a weak or feminine ending. One of Shakespeare's most famous lines of iambic pentameter has a weak ending:[3]
x / x / x \ / x x / x
To be | or not | to be, || that is | the ques- tion
The symbol \ here has been used to indicate a secondary or subordinate stress.
Note that this line also has an inversion of the fourth foot, following the caesura. In general a caesura acts in many ways like a line-end: inversions are common after it, and the extra unstressed syllable of the feminine ending may appear before it. Shakespeare and John Milton (in his work before Paradise Lost) at times employed feminine endings before a caesura[4]
Here is the first quatrain of a sonnet by John Donne, which demonstrates how he uses a number of metrical variations strategically:
Batter my heart three-personed God, for you
as yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend.
That I may rise and stand o'erthrow me and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn and make me new.
The rhythm is:
DUM da | da DUM | da DUM | da DUM | da DUM
da DUM | da DUM | DUM DUM | da DUM | da DUM
da DUM | da DUM | da DUM | DUM DUM |dada DUM
da DUM | da DUM | DUM DUM | da DUM | da DUM
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| Turning Me Inside Out.
Posted: 4/5/2006 11:34:45 PM | All in all it is like music. although we want to believe it is mathematically perfect, it is NOT.
WHen you play triplets or irregular time signatures like 7/8 or 5/4 or in percussion a triplet ruff or many other variations it gives a feeling of urgency but is not strictly mathematically correct. It happens more often with the usage of sixteenth notes thirtysecond notes and sixtyfourth notes as it would be next to impossible to actually play sixty fourth notes at a fast tempo for any length of time so we compensate by writing them and connecting them next to eighths or sixteenth and them finish with the fast quickened feel of sixtyfourths or thirty second notes.
In words and poetry, we just quicken the speed and soften the sound to fit it in the same meter as the other lines before or after.
Hope this helps !
---Robert  | |
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| sonnet writers unite
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:59:23 PM | | Shall I compare you to a summers day...you are more lovely and more temperate...cold winds do shake the darling buds of may...and summer hath to short a lease...so hurry and remove thy bra | |
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