| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 10/31/2008 7:16:17 PM | Smart Lass what is your definition of a "Good Guy".
I think I am a good guy as to say but some may say that I am not like you for instance. I am not trying to pull anybody back to any place. I have no place to pull back to. I started looking forward a few years ago. No more looking back for me. I try my best not to live in the past any more and so far it is working for me. But please tell me your definition of a " Good Guy". It can or could help me maybe or some other "Good Guys" out here on the honey do trail....    | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:39:28 PM | "With as good as you look moraima what man in his right mind would be afraid of you simply because you are a widow?"
Where did I say people were afraid of me because I am a widow? That makes no sense to me.
"Moriama, I have gotten over myself, I came down off the cross and used the wood for a bridge quite a few years ago. I had never suggested that you do anything; you joined this thread all on your own."
Where did I say that you suggested I do anything? I asked why you think people are afraid?
"I feel like a little kid going to the circus for the first time, full of fear, wonder and awe."
I love adverture - I don't fear it - I get so much energy from adventure. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 10/31/2008 10:00:30 PM | I guess I must have mis read your earlier post about widowed people fitting. I misunderstood what you were saying.....Sorry. A lot of things dont make sense to me but I dont howl about it. Sorry if I got your statement wrong. OH well you cant get everything right and you ant please every one.....So that is the way it goes I guess.  | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/1/2008 6:12:15 AM |
But you have to mean it in your heart. It will work and improve your life very much. No barriers, no walls, no grudges, no past vendettas, and then just live for happiness. It worked for me. I am sure it will work for other people too.
Yes, you are one of the few who are honest enough in being happy and whole as a person.
Forgiving and moving on not not only frees the other but more importantly it frees you!
What!
To be bitter with hate and a vengeance is a strong emotion and to not eventually let it go only perpetuates this vice and the malady [aka baggage] and is carried on and passed to the next and next person. And how much time does it need for one to vent?
Just think in how many people you heard are still ****ing about their ex,5 years,10,20. yikes! Very unhealthy and negative to me when one uses it for so long.
imo, many have settle for this protected wall and live the rest of their life is that way.
And for many they find and use this venue as a safe haven in the virtual world of interaction.
Like I've said many times before ya got fish where the fishie are truly free instead of the window shoppers and when you find that spot it would be grand find indeed! | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/1/2008 9:16:29 AM | Like I've said many times before ya got fish where the fishie are truly free instead of the window shoppers and when you find that spot it would be grand find indeed!
..yes, I remember reading that from another post of yours. For me, participating in the forums gives me the opportunity to "observe" some of the fishies before I cast out my line....I wanna know how healthy that fishie is before I even attempt to "reel" it in and bring it home it home for supper.
...maeflowers | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/1/2008 2:32:29 PM |
For me, participating in the forums gives me the opportunity to "observe" some of the fishies before I cast out my line
Yup, I'm just here for the forums until someone can change my mind in that and prove me otherwise. ~smile~
I can understand too of the folks who are tired of the bs past,present and future
and they had settle behind the the wall as their safe haven and limit of involvement.
I'm sure that many are not afraid but happy enough with their lifestyles without the
commitment of each other.
To each there own in what floats ye boat.
So for those who seek more then in being 'just bud's or 'still under construction'
or there's detour ahead,
cast your line where the fishie swims truly open and free
and maybe you'll end up with some with that same spark in your eye for thee! | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:06:42 PM | I recently found this thread and like much of what has been said and bantered back and forth. My question would center around...and I know it's a longshot...any suggestions for how to "help" someone that has convinced themselves that self-protection and never trying or falling for anyone is the way to go. I know that until she sees it and wants it for herself, it isn't going to happen. I won't beat around the bush...I fell really hard for someone in this position...she would let the walls down just long enough for us to experience what it could truly be when we're together and then got very scared of what she felt and convinced herself it wouldn't last (just like the other times that she tried and got hurt) and so the walls went back up to protect herself from it all. Is there anything that can be done to "help" someone we care about that is going through this?
Thanks for any thoughts... | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:18:30 PM |
fell really hard for someone in this position...she would let the walls down just long enough for us to experience what it could truly be when we're together and then got very scared of what she felt and convinced herself it wouldn't last (just like the other times that she tried and got hurt) and so the walls went back up to protect herself from it all. Is there anything that can be done to "help" someone we care about that is going through this?
I could be completely wrong about this, but my first response was that if a woman really loves a man, she does not worry so much about protecting herself....the walls come down. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear and that it may be hurtful, and again, it is just my opinion and could very much be incorrect. But, if you love someone, really love them, the walls come tumbling down. I'd say she isn't that much in love, she isn't sure about what she feels...JMHO. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 2:47:30 AM | "As a child your heart was naturally open, and that is how we are meant to be."
I love my childlike heart, but if I think and trust like a child, I can get myself in a dangerous situation. Guys, take a minute to understand that not every man that we women have come in contact with are good people. There are predators and unstable men out there, and they disguise themselves very well to get into our pants. I KNOW not all men are like that but it takes time to get to know who someone really is. Ii can be hard to figure out who is the bad apple, especially on a website when you cant see what someone is like on a daily basis. Once again, guys, not every man respects women and everyone of us who are "jaded" are not just big babies. If you could see the crude, sick messages we get on a regular basis you would understand. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 4:09:10 AM | : My thought on this post...
I agree that one person waits for the other person etc, when communicating, but when both have met up and with luck, they feel chemistry, It all happens naturally.
After a meet if there is not a MUTUAL buzz, then there will always be this dilemma between two people.  | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 5:25:41 AM |
But thanks for the concern that was attached. I can feel the love, even if I can't write you because I'M TOO YOUNG!
Oh dear, I'm being called out in a thread about letting people in because I filter out those I'm not compatible with. There's a big difference, Bullie, between knowing what you want and letting people in.
I have a dear friend that is 5 years older, when we talk that gap is night and day. She's a product of the Happy Days generation and Eddie and the Cruisers. I grew up in the world of college protestors and hippies and we just don't see the world the same way. Depending on when you were born, 5 years can be a huge generation gap. Likewise, those I deem too young don't have the depth and breadth of lifes experiences, generally speaking, that I'm looking for. Even I have to come out the bedroom sometimes and talk to them.
Don't confuse that with letting people in. Life gives us lessons that we should learn from. My net is broad enough that many fishies still fit the criteria. It's a lot about attitude. Love yourself first, look for the good in everyone, see what that person may have to offer you, and even when it doesn't work out it won't be such a fearful experience. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 3:31:56 PM | Well how can a person let some one come into their lives when other people dont want to? It seem like more dont want to than the one's who do want to with me any way. I am willing to lets lots of you women take the chance to come right in but you just say no and keep saying not too. So tell me how do you let somebody in or get somebody to come in to your life. It is not a marriage proposal you know it is just a date, meet n greet, lunch, dinner, or just coffee or coke. Maybe it is my kerosene breath that come through the key board onto the screen and then in my email or posts on here that is driving you women away from me....lol lol lol......
Just how do you let women in that wont come in? I just dont know myself...... | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 3:47:33 PM |
Just how do you let women in that wont come in? I just dont know myself......
OMG are you freaking serious? If a woman isn't interested, let it go. If she says no, she means no. Same with *some* that feel they are restricting those that wouldn't want them in the first place.... futile, really. Who's to say they'd want you anyway?
NO is NO. If someone can't understand that at this age, they're a lost cause.
Just because *you* want someone doesn't give you the right to push yourself on them because of your own selfish agenda.
And ya'll wonder why so many are still here... fishing and wondering when they're gonna find someone that's compatible with them. tsk tsk.............  | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 4:25:12 PM | | I Know that no is no bullie. I have sense enough to know if a woman is not interested to let it go to. I can understand lots of things at my age and I guarrante you I am no lost cause. Now who is pushing their sleves on women on here not me for sure. And who are you to call me selfish bullie you dont know me from jack shit. I dont wonder why so many are still on here bullie. I do wonder why you are still on here with your attitude like you have. No body want that kind of attitude to put up with. Especially me. Now with your kind of attitude who is to say that some body would want you? I sure dont. Not in any way ever. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 4:35:16 PM |
I Know that no is no...... I have sense enough to know if a woman is not interested to let it go to. I can understand lots of things at my age and I guarrante you I am no lost cause. Now who is pushing their sleves on women on here not me for sure. And who are you to call me selfish ...... you dont know me from jack shit. I dont wonder why so many are still on here........ I do wonder why you are still on here with your attitude like you have. No body want that kind of attitude to put up with. Especially me. Now with your kind of attitude who is to say that some body would want you? I sure dont. Not in any way ever
I'm here for the entertainment and the free donuts darlin'. 
And my comments are usually generalized... but if *some* see themselves in them, then ya might wanna take some heed.....
just sayin' | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 4:41:18 PM | "I am willing to lets lots of you women take the chance to come right in "
Lots of you women is a huge turn off to me. I don't want a man who wants just anybody he can get.
"I dont wonder why so many are still on here bullie. I do wonder why you are still on here with your attitude like you have. No body want that kind of attitude to put up with. "
Spoken like many rejected men before you spoke. Sorry you don't like the word no, but move on to someone who might be interested, and stop wasting time and energy.
This is not a gender issue. Both men and women feel entitiled and when they get the word no, then the blame game starts. It isn't personal, it is just having to interest in people who want just anybody that is the issue.
"lots of you women take the chance to come right in but you just say no and keep saying not too. "
Your words, not ours. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:15:18 PM | I knew there was a catch. Free donuts. No donuts here.
Just so you people will know and understand. Only one "no" to me and there is no more trys 99% of the time. Why would I want to keep on asking some woman who wants nothing to do with me. I move on to other more interesting things and topics.
I dont see myself in either one of your statements. I have plenty of opportunities but I am just like you all. I dont seem to want the one's I meet. There is always a catch. They are either wanting money from me, want me to be the yard man, house remoddler man, or are Rubber Room material.
I could be dating a woman I knew from the 5th grade in school. But when she came out with wanting her grass cut, mobile home kept up, and money. Well the stop signs went up, the red lights came on, and all the warnings lights went off.
I have dated women in the past who said that they " wanted to be" in my life but would "not" let it happen. They would break down and fall all to pieces crying. They were still scared from a past heart break and abusive husband. I wanted them to be in my life. But how can you let some one who dont want to be in your life. You cant. It's impossible regardless of what anybody says or how many wise cracks that are made about it. She definitely want to be in my life but she was still to scared to let go and let me take care of her. Now how could I make her want to be in my life? It was impossible. That case has come about two times in my past life and I was truly heart broke because they were so afraid to love again. Especially me.....
Say what you please and make all the wise cracks you want to. I wont be a yard man and house man to any woman. I will however be her mate and take care of her. But not when it is brought out in the clear what they really want from me is not a mate but a ground keeper, Gardner, grass cutter, or what ever. It's me or nothing. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:35:30 PM |
Say what you please and make all the wise cracks you want to. I wont be a yard man and house man to any woman. I will however be her mate and take care of her. But not when it is brought out in the clear what they really want from me is not a mate but a ground keeper, Gardner, grass cutter, or what ever. It's me or nothing
What about a pool boy? I'm always looking......
The meeting starts in 31 minutes. There are plenty of donuts and the coffee is hot and dark. Anyone else wanna tell us what they're NOT looking for, please sign in at the desk. But the position for lawn maintenance and handyman are still open. Oh, and the pool boy too.. but that will wait til next June.
OT: Afraid is such a strong word, and it infers that we're all sitting here cowering and unable to make up our own minds. As someone who's not dating, I see a lot of my past behavior when I was alone, just unwilling to bend or settle for someone that hadn't done as much work on self as I had.
In our twenties we were growing up together and the mistakes were made in tandem and didn't seem to glaringly horrid. Now, when we see someone still tripping over shoe laces that should have been tied YEARS ago, it's almost nauseating! Why haven't they tied those damn things up yet?!? What's WRONG with them??
So it's not fear, it's the reality that a lot of people just haven't done the work yet to be worthy of taking the chance with.
Too many have refused to tie their shoes... and I'm not gonna be the one to trip over your laces because you were too lazy or too afraid to tie 'em yourself.
OK, meeting's started. Pass the chocolate covered donuts this way, would ya? Thanks *Jim* | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:49:53 PM | This is utterly amazing at times!
Self righteousness, dressed up self pity and finger pointing. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, Oh look how perfect I am, it’s everyone else! Aren’t we a bit old for this drama?
Yeah Moraima, I also question why some people are still here, my only difference is in who it is I wonder about.
I think I’ll just buy the doughnuts and watch! Heck, maybe I’ll send Jim and Bullie a dozen and we can do a conference call and watch the implosion. | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:53:08 PM | Nah no pool boy either. My shoe laces are tied. I usually wear slip on's or boots. So no shoe laces for me. Only tennis shoes need the laces and I keep them tied to tight most of the time.
I have seen me in the past to and know I need to bend and give. Believe me I wished I had learned that at a lot younger age. But I didn't. I'm sure nobody is sitting her cowering and cant make up their own minds about anything. Most of us are pretty intelligent and have our feet on the ground. I think mine are on the ground any way. I walk on dirt so I guess they are...lol lol lol....
I'm not looking for just any body. If I were then I would be out on the town where the single women are and getting one. My home town here are full of single women. But I dont want just any body. That is what I would get if I were to go where they like to go on Friday and Saturday night. I have been lots of time and believe me those places are full of some of the best looking women a man would want. But I dont want a drunk any more. Wife #2 came from one of these places. I just dont want that kind of life any more and wont settle for it.
I have done the reality check believe me. That is why I am home on a Saturday night all by myself.....lol lol lol.....
My shoes are definitely tied and the meeting was not announced early enough for me to make it on time. I dont like to be late. So the next meeting please announce the scheduled time way in advance please... | |
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| Why are we still so affraid to let people in?
Posted: 11/8/2008 7:13:45 PM | I’ve been on this site (and others like it) for quite some time, now. And I’ve picked up a number of things from conversations, things I’ve learned in the forums, etc. And my home is now carefully planned to attract just the type of women that I’m looking for. I’ve been doing the donuts thing for a while now. I have a lovely tray of fresh cream-filled variety in my front hallway. I have other snacks and treats throughout the house. I proudly display my top-of-the-line flatscreen TV and entertainment system in my livingroom window. My car always sits in the driveway, impeccably shined and glistening with after-market add ons. My front door is permanantly propped open with a broom stick and welcome mat and down at the end of the driveway, I have a lemonade stand set up with a “Free lemonade. More inside.” sign overhead. And anything else that I can think of to further my cause, I promptly incorporate it into my home as I think of it.
And what do I get for this ?? Well ... women will drop by, eat my donuts and then have to leave suddenly for some ridiculous reason. Some of the lovely ladies that pass by my home, just drink the lemonade at the end of the driveway, without ever looking up the driveway at the openly-beckoning front door and smell of my fresh home cooking trailing down the driveway.
Do you know what I think ?? I think there’s something wrong with the woman on this site.
cdn guy | |
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