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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is partner swapping ok????????      Home login  
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 okiesweetheart
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 26
Is partner swapping ok????????Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
It's only "wrong" if it's "wrong" for you... you can't let others pass judgement on the situation because they don't have to live one day in your shoes. If the two of you openly communicate about what happened and agree whether or not it should or shouldn't happen again, then I think your relationship will be just fine! Best Wishes!
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 27
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 3:44:51 PM
Only you can answer this question OP. I think there is more than just partner swapping considering the woman you gave to your bf is YOUR friend. So ultimately can you live with it? Can she look at her husband and you together alone and trust you? I have NO idea.

I live an open lifestyle but we long ago agreed never friends, or family (not direct relatives, more like me with his cousin etc). Any play is far removed from our daily lives so there is never that huge amount of trust being questioned (which never has, but why rock the boat??). I think you and your partner, your friend and her husband have to figure what has changed, if anything.

Perhaps it was a one off, and you can get on with your lives. I say if you have concerns, voice them otherwise just move on. But I also commend you for doing it together, without lying to anyone. That takes some maturity. Which can be lacking in the lifestyle.
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 28
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Is partner swapping OK????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:25:37 PM
Well, you are clearly an open person if your bi and have been with the other lady before. So the question really is, what is it that is bothering you?

Are more worried about what they will think of you two, you alone, or you worried about what she will think of you?

Or are you worried about what your male partner thinks? I mean, he is dating a bi woman, means he know you have sex with other women, so what is your worried about and how do you think it will ruin the relationship?

You had to have had some talk before this all started?

At this point, really if you have an issue with something that happened you need to talk about with the person you have the issue with and tell your partner what it is.

I have been here before and we set ground rules before we ever did anything, and rule number 1 was if at anytime either feels anything but enjoyment then we are to stop and end it. There were other rules of engagement...LOL but you need to spell out what is important to you and let your partner also say whats important. Also if its another couple (or single person) that you have never played with before you also need to ask what they have for limits and explain what both of yours are. Failing to do this is a sure fire way to get someones feelings hurt or cause resentment later. This type of thing is not for everyone and you really need to be open with yourself and your partner to fully enjoy it.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 29
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Is partner swapping OK????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:29:12 PM
If the swinging lifestyle is something you do not want to get into for the future - you now have to shut the door on it and let it go! The experience is done and over with - you both have to agree - to agree - never to make this a bone of contention!
 supabro4u
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 30
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:03:23 PM
That is sick! If wanna hook up with other people just stay single. that is why there are so many stds in this world.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 31
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 9:18:44 PM
Why is that sick??? Everyone was in the know, all consenting adults and probably alot safer than all those "single" people out there. Being single is a free pass to do whoever you want???

And its the single people I would imagine more at risk for STDs not having one or even two regular partners. Do you (or anyone else who may be single) quiz and blood test everyone you sleep with??? lol
 PeaceToy
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 32
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 9:22:29 PM
If you have to ask, then it's not OK..for you.

peace
 reservedone
Joined: 9/23/2008
Msg: 33
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/28/2008 9:31:48 PM
yes, i believe you may have made a mistake since you are all questioning yourselves. if you were all ok with it the next day, then i would have said good for you. i myself could not partake in any such happening.
 James_in_SD
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 34
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 1:49:34 AM

How wrong is this? Will it ruin our relationship?

Tune in tomorrow.
 mending
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 35
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 2:35:48 AM
The best quote I've ever heard is :Sex washes off.
Having said that it still isnt for everyone.
I think swinging is as much a mental thing as it is a physical thing.
Some can handle it and some can't as others have said.
For me personally it's just sex. It has nothing to do with love. It has everything to do with lust.
There is a difference. Some people can't discern the two.

And here is the kicker.. after that wonderful experience (I assume you liked it) who did you go home with? You left with the one that brought you. That is what matters. That is the difference. I know people that have swung and it ruined them as a couple, and I know people that still swing and they love it.

If your both adults, and you play safe and you can handle it mentally then by all means giddy-up!

If this was a first time thing, there are always questions..was it the right thing to do? will it ruin us? just as you have asked and like other posters have said TALK TALK TALK. No communication will kill a relationship faster than anything.

If you BOTH like it and want it then have at it. If not then don't. If just one wants it then talk that out. The most important part to a realionship is that it remain HOT...Honest Open Truthful.
Just my honest opinion nothing more. Take care and if your gonna play..play safe.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 36
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 6:34:21 AM
Wouldn't a better time to be asking these questions have been BEFORE you did it?
 Bobishere4u
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 37
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:52:25 AM
Is having another dude inject your woman with his bodily fluids into her after you made a commitment okay? How about kissing her mouth knowing that the day before she had placed it on someone else while being in a relationship with you? That is so nasty.. Ewww. Gross.
 Kirota
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 38
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 7:58:13 AM
I have a girlfriend that her and her husband do it all the time.........but they set rules and it is never with their circle of friends. I think that each and every person has different comfort zones. I for one would not be comfortable with that as I am very much a one man woman and would probably only be with some one of the same ideals, but that doesn't make me right or anyone else who does it wrong. Just the differences in people. I will never say never because one just doesn't know what they will do unless the idea is right in front of them.
 Braddl1
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 39
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 10:36:58 AM
It's funny that ppl that do this getss pissed when their partners go behind their backs because either they have developed feelings for the other person or they are just horny and want to try someone other than you. I think you should call him your f*ck buddy and leave it at that. Because what you have is not what a normal man or woman would consider a relationship.
 Braddl1
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 40
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 10:45:43 AM

I will never say never because one just doesn't know what they will do unless the idea is right in front of them.


So if the the mood is right your SO wanted to see another guy drill you in front of him because it something he wants, would you do it. I'm curious about the never say never thing.
 Chancelore
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 41
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 10:48:07 AM

Is having another dude inject your woman with his bodily fluids into her after you made a commitment okay?


That stuff stays in her for a few days . For the next week everytime the guy does her he's dipping into the other guy's junk or worse, licking it up from her. There's something either a little gay or too weird for a guy to want to do that.
I don't get it either. I've swung, but not with anyone serious. Only an idiot shares his wife or girl.
 Chancelore
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 42
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/29/2008 10:55:01 AM

Why is that sick??? Everyone was in the know, all consenting adults and probably alot safer than all those "single" people out there. Being single is a free pass to do whoever you want???

In your dreams. There's more crap going around among swingers than in anywhere short of a porn studio. They tell you they're clean but it's crap. I swing. I have herpes.
I don't tell anyone. Most times I'm never seeing them again. The chickie that gave it to me was a swinger who was a 'no glove-no love' swinger. I've been to parties where you see the guys pull off the condom and stick it back on afterwards. I know one bloke who swings and he's got AIDS... He's not telling either but he does at least use a rubber. I'd still never touch anything he's balled. Then you see the stupid ones that go bareback for oral and then put a rubber on for sex! Wankers.
 yorkies1964
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 43
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/30/2008 7:00:35 AM
EVERYONE on the planet carries the herpes virus...
 Bobishere4u
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 44
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/30/2008 7:08:55 AM
The idea of some strange dude injecting your wife or girlfriend with his love juices is sick and why on earth would you want to follow that the next day or week...that is just plain nasty...nasty..nasty... ewwww and to kiss her mouth knowing that a few hours ago she had it on him....ewwwwwwwww......Oh and by the way, this is the real world so not all use protection..although all usually attempt to "claim" that they use protection.. Isn't there some phrase or saying that when you sleep with your partner, you are also sleeping with everyone else she has been with??...think about that for more then 3 seconds...I think I am going to have an upset stomach now........ewwwwwwwww........nasty.....
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 45
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/30/2008 7:34:28 AM
I don't see anything wrong with it if that is what u want. I could not do it if I was in love but if I wasn't I could. Not with anyone I knew though it would have to be strangers to us both. It can ruin a relationship because u wonder if your partner had a better time and how u compare to who they were with or some thoughts of jealousy. Being all in the same room I think was a great idea though but not with a best friend! If u do it again don't do it with friends. Sounds exciting.
 Kirota
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 46
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:39:59 AM

I will never say never because one just doesn't know what they will do unless the idea is right in front of them.


So if the the mood is right your SO wanted to see another guy drill you in front of him because it something he wants, would you do it. I'm curious about the never say never thing.


I didn't say I would because a man wanted me to...............believe it or not, some of us women do think for ourselves and don't need or let a man tell us what to do in any situation, let alone a sexual one that deals with our body. There have been many things sexually that I have said I would never do in the past and tried them and found it to be quit pleasurable and that is why I say never say never.
 Helen Waite
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 47
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:00:55 AM
OP if you don't like how it made you feel then learn from it and don't do it again. You've had an experience which you now realize isn't for you. Don't torture yourself with right and wrong. Learn from it and move on.
 Forum-reader
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 48
Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/31/2008 10:56:32 AM
Are you kidding me??? What relationship? Obviously there isn't one if you're willing to have sex with other people. It doesn't take Einstein to figure this one out!!!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 49
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:22:08 AM
Msg1... It is wrong if your conscience bothers you, it might ruin your relationship or not ,but the one thing that will last is the addiction of partner swapping or swingings, until you got incurable deseases, and will ruin your person.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 50
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Is partner swapping ok????????
Posted: 10/31/2008 3:34:32 PM

Is partner swapping OK? Not in my world it isn't, but I will not pass judgment on you for doing it. It just isn't anything I would do.

I don't mind sharing a meal, a funny story or a few dollars, but not my man!

It will only ruin your relationship if you let it. If you are feeling wrong, just don't do it again.

** I guess only you can really answer this for yourself, regardless of what we will all say.

OP -- I'm with SLL on this. In my world, swingin' ain't ever gonna be a part of the package. I'll share a thought, or an idea, maybe a meal or two...but I will never share my lady. If she wants to swing, then she ain't for me. Call me old fashioned, but I am still a staunch supporter of "ONE man and ONE woman". I don't share my toys, nor do I expect or desire to be farmed out either...

Some people will always want their cake and eat it too. So be it. If it works for them, then knock yourself out. That crap would never fly with me though.

And like SLL said, only you can answer this question yourself. Opinions are nice to solicit, but underneath it all, it's what you think and what you prefer that matters...not the musings of random strangers.

Cheers.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is partner swapping ok????????