| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:14:44 AM | I experienced your "first" scenario and it was the most annoying thing ever. I can NOT abide possessiveness or clinginess. I went out a few times with this one guy who KNEWWWWWWWWWWW I could NOT have my cell phone on the sales floor at work, but he would call me All. Day. Long, knowing I couldn't answser it, (didn't even know it was ringing, for that matter.) If he'd call me and I didn't answer, he'd call back every 10 minutes till I DID answer. No matter how many times I told him when I didn't answer the phone it was because I was at work and didn't have my phone, he'd call and leave me messages asking why I wasn't calling him back. I felt like I was dealing with a 5 year old.
Needless to say that didn't last very long. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:53:01 PM | All right, now that we got through the red flags that her dates displayed; it's time for this thread to become a monster.
The question she asked: "How soon?"
Doesn't it depend on how soon you can recognize it? These examples could open the eyes of a neanderthal, but then again, maybe not. The biting could even be excused if the relationship had developed with a certain aggressive character that many of us wouldn't recognize. I'm not saying that it did, but it could. It certainly could be misunderstood if it was called a bite when it was in fact a nibble. The relationship could have developed such a character if both partners had been through a struggle together. A teasing nibble could actually be a common bond. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:03:03 PM | I'm so glad I invested in the Red Flag business, my stocks are soaring
Can you email me the stock symbol? Is it primed for vertical growth, or are they expanding into other colors? Have they begun to sell banners, or is it flags only? Do they sell accessories like poles or fixtures to hang them on the wall? | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:11:44 PM | | Oh yeah...can we say, "Needy, possessive, controlling, maybe with a bit of a cruel streak running through his red flag outfit he's wearing?" This would not be what I would consider, "sweet". | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:50:26 PM | The flags are crimson and flapping wildly!
This man is showing you that he is a locomotive. Running on his overstoked steam!
If I had a first kiss like that, it would tell me that this man is reading his own hand signals and not reading YOURS as a man is supposed to do.
If you are encouraging these kinds of men, then I would take a look at what your hand signals are doing to these runaway train-wrecks!
Are you giving off vibes and body language that says attack me? 'Cause he will. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:01:49 PM | How quickly you spot the red flags is immaterial if you choose to ignore them. Speed is not really the goal because you then run the risk of fixating on looking for flags instead of just spending the time getting to know the individual.
If you keep your eyes open but don't exhaust yourself looking for signs that the person is not who he thinks he is and choose not to hide when flags start to emerge, you probably won't be involved long if the person has character traits or habits you don't want in your life. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:31:18 PM | | You hear a bell in your head...watch out. I heard the bell 35 years ago and liked the way his mind worked anyways. Lots of troubles but comprimise and acceptance helped. Glad I gave up on a Disney outlook on life and understood that shopping is different from choosing a possible life partner. Anyways who's perfect? I do not believe that relationships are oceans of calm. No way. Get over yourself and get working. It don't come easy no matter how the media portrays the running of a relationship. I remember how I met him, but mostly I remember the sometime tried loyalty. In the end, a good friend and tempered companion. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 11/1/2008 11:07:53 AM | | After one or two dates and a man is showing signs that he likes you and is willing to take things slow, but his actions don't match his words.....i didn't call one night, so now instead of "wooing" me, all of a sudden we are just friends and if i want something more then i can let him know.....possissive or sweet.....................i say desperate for someone to love him....past bad experience. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 11/1/2008 12:10:35 PM | "...one of the biggest mistakes I made in my life....what in the name of Martha Stewart was I thinking?
I would like to nominate myself for the 07-08 Biggest Dumb Ass Award...."
Sorry Charlie, but I am going to fight you far that award. And I live right next door. Oh!!! what a mistake that was. | |
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| How soon can you spot a red flag
Posted: 11/1/2008 6:49:46 PM | As for the impatience in regard to contacting, that would be a red flag before even meeting...If he can't understand that I have a life that I had before we met, then why bother to investigate further. I've had men tell me that I've got too many men in my life and they don't want anything to do with me. If they appear possessive, in any way, I usually mention that I am communicating and dating others and, when I find that special one and am intimate with him, there will be NO others. That also weeds out the ones who are not interested in monogamous relationships.
As far as the kissing goes, I think that kind of aggressive action might show up in comments made prior to meeting, but, if not, and it occurred, he would know in no uncertain terms that it was a deal-breaker. So far, I have not had any rough treatment by men whom I have met online.
KK | |
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