| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 11/10/2008 7:58:14 PM | No matter how badly the date goes, never EVER dry click your revolver at your date to end the night.
Men:
Show some restraint. Seriously. Even if your date is so amazingly hot (or HAWT depending on your taste) that it causes you to spill more DNA than a crime lab technician with Parkinson's Disease, remember to play it cool. She knows that she's hot. She is told this several times a day. She has heard it all and heard it delivered better than you could ever attempt to, so don't tell her that you would belly crawl through 10 miles of broken glass just to masturbate in her shadow. Don't do it. She will not find it witty, and if she does laugh it's nervous laughter. The same kind of laughter that Michael Jackson hears when he visits day care centers. Instead, simply make a passing acknowledgment that she does look nice (she has spent hours in the bathroom preparing and wants to know that her efforts did not go in vain), but she does not want you overreacting more than an 80 year old man's bladder during Oktoberfest. So remember just play it cool and be yourself.
Women:
Men are not complicated creatures. Seriously. Don't over think things when it comes to men. If after a date you find yourself wondering 'What did he mean by that?', then you are over thinking things. He meant what he said (unless he was just lying, but either way it's pretty black and white). If during the date the man sees that you are no longer eating your meal and asks if you're going to eat that he's not insinuating that you're fat or that you're too skinny or that you're bored or anything else.... he is hungry. You can tell because he has already eaten all of his food and has been unashamedly licking his plate like a 5 year old for the last three and a half minutes.
EVERYONE:
Listen up because this is for everybody. In life you are going to find that there are two types of people in this world:
1) Those who lie.
Don't take it personally, even if it is personal. Everybody lies. Period. Some do it more than others, of course, but show me one single person that has never EVER once lied in any way shape or form... Don't worry, I'll wait...
Learn to separate out what is important and what's not. There are people who spice up a story with inconsequential lies and then there are people who's story bounce around more than Michael Flatley's nutsack.
In closing, just realize that every single one of us is damaged in one way or another, so tread carefully. There is no perfect man or woman, so your real goal is to find someone who's quirks and foibles compliment your own... and if that is too much to ask, then how about some cheap tawdry sex every once in a while????
Of course, this is just my (satirical) opinion... I could be wrong.  | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 11/13/2008 9:08:10 PM | there is absolutely no need to wear socks w/ your sandles 
wearing sweat pants without undies in public is not sexy
the comb over is not hiding your baldness
eating the hottest flavor of hot wings available does not make u a man
(especially when u are crying like a baby the next morning on the toilet!)
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 11/14/2008 2:43:09 PM | Mullets? Krystle doesn't like men with mullets? Aren't they fish? What sort of man walks around with a fish in his pocket? Okay, my uncle Charlie did, but he was drunk and on his way home had popped into the fishmongers before the pub. He then spent the rest of the evening in the pub with a fish sticking out of his pocket. But it is rare, you must admit for a man to carry fish around.
If I could give advice to a woman it would be:
Don't judge me by my looks. Neither should you judge me by my behaviour. Nor by the way I speak; nor by who I am; Nor should you assume I'm carrying fish - No, really, "Mullets"? | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 11/15/2008 8:34:14 PM | | Well, I'd give it to my own kind...never think you can "fix" a man. Basically, if a man tells you something about himself, believe it. 'Cause if you don't, it can come back and bite you on the ass.... | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 2/18/2009 2:01:46 PM | | A picture is most important. But telling the truth is more important because i have been on 8 dates from pof men and 6 lied just about everything. Like, age , being marrieddivorced/single, who they live with/don't live with, job's, AND posting pic's from years previous. One man posted a pic and he was actually my dad's age!!! | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:40:22 PM |
If I ever done anything to upset you , don't take me serious
I did not mean it like that .
Just be shure to tell me , so I make shure that it will not happen again ...
Awwww Lovebow, that is so sweet! More than that, it didn't occur to me until I read your post, how much I hope the man I love would know and believe that - if I ever did something to hurt him, I didn't mean it. Humans are fallible, we make mistakes, but I would never do it intentionally.
Thank you for your post. Good advice. | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:17:15 PM | Be sexy!
we're not dating your big truck or your new Harley, so try to impress us with yourself, or go back to dating your cousin/sister/mom.
Shave the the rug off your back. We're don't want to date a farm animal.
Don't pluck your eyebrows, it makes men look gay. Super gay. Flaming hot gay bob.
Use tooth whiteners, they work. (They don't make you look gay.)
Get stinking drunk, then pick your nose while we eat dinner. (kidding! )
Be sexy!  | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:17:58 AM | Brush really thoroughly, and don't leave it at that - floss and rinse, too.
Get an occasional manicure and pedicure. There's nothing to fear, really.
Definitely, don't pluck, but do trim your eyebrows.
You'd think this would go without saying, but apparently not always: Get rid of those forest fires waiting to happen in and around your nose and ears. You think you don't have this yet 'cause you're only 28? Re-think that.
And go easy on the cologne!
This also all falls under, "Be sexy!" Kudos to Miss G. | |
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| If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex.....
Posted: 2/27/2009 5:36:25 PM | -some nicknames you pick for your member is not sexy: demon eel.
-blowing wind into our vaginas does not tickle, it's annoying.
-please don't leave the open condom packs lying around, they aren't candy wrappers.
-breasts aren't what you knead. they are not made out of pizza dough. they aren't toys. just like your balls aren't chinese therapy balls. and our nipples aren't gummy bears or radio dials.
-if eating out is not your thing, it's ok. just don't go down on me like you are shucking oysters with your eyes tightly clamped shut! | |
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