| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:57:33 PM |
I am wondering just how hard raising a child by yourself is? If you had to do it again and knew it would be by yourself, would you? what is the hardest part about being a single Mom? WHat has your experience been like? Thanks!
It can be difficult being a single mom. Everything rests on your shoulders, all the pressure is on you! It is rewarding though, its wonderful to know that I am the source of all my son's smiles and happiness :) I would have rather had him later in life and be with a steady partner, but life doesnt always work out the way you want...but then again if I had waited I wouldnt have him exactly the way he is, and he is perfect in my eyes. I went through my pregnancy and his life so far on my own, and I believe its made us closer and we will stay close as he grows older. I sometimes feel like I wont be enough for him, and I feel guilty that I cant give him the life he deserves right now. Its been hard, but 100% worth it. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 11/21/2008 2:03:17 PM | | I think of life Bc and AC (Before & After Child). AC is so much richer, if I could turn back the clock, knowing what i know now, I wouldn't. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/2/2008 8:57:46 PM | Hello, i am a single mother and the father has never been involved lefted me at 4 months. My son is now 4 years old, it hasn't been hard for me as much as some woman only because i had some help from family who live close by. Anytime i needed with a babysitter or money they would help me. What is the hardest thing about being a single mom, well i guess it would be the fact of watching my son listen to his cousin saying daddy and wondering why he dosen't have one. Thats hard realizing that your child will wonder if it was his/her fault. I always wanted a child but with a man who wasn't going leave. Would i do it all over again yes i would and i thing the main reason is because having my son in my life changed me into the kind of person i want to be, and wow haveing someone that special in your life is something you want to have. I hate the fact that he dosen't have a father but see this is the way i see it ( your not a father/daddy just because you have the same DNA) you have to want it you have to earn it not expect it.
So my answer is YES i would do it all over again in a heart beat even if there was no father. Because in the real world i am my sons Mother and Father and nothings going to change that!!!!!! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:22:46 PM | Not many moms choose to be single. Life has a habit of throwing curve balls and all you can do is make the best of it. Being a single parent doesn't mean life stops , it's how you deal with it that makes you a success or a victim.
To me the hardest part of being a single parent is having to miss time spent with my children while they are on visitation with their dad. I didn't plan on being a part time mother. All I can do at this point is make sure my children are hugged, told that they are loved by me a zillion times a day and we make sure the time together is well spent.
I have never looked back and said I wish that I was not a parent. The thought never entered my head. Being a mom is honour and the best role that I will ever have in my lifetime. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 6:14:10 AM | Of course I would do it again.
I love my daughter, me not having her father around is hard at times but everything has it pro's and con's
the hardest part of having my little girl alone (she is 4.5 months) is that eg wen she is crying and im making a bottle no one is there to hold her, or when I get frustrated no one is there to take her, i cant shower, use the toilet or do anything alone, i cant give her to any one for just half an hour a day just so i can take a breather | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:25:20 AM | | Interesting question.... I would probably wait if I could do it over again... but then again, I now know things are now, I am not sure- I would probably do it again because I have succeeded through all the odds. So I am not sure.... but my situation is very different since I became a mom at 14. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:39:03 AM | | It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and what I am most proud of accomplishing. There is very little "me" time. Money is always an issue. Guilt is always an issue due to not being able to spend enough time with my child vs going to work and making money so we can live. Every second of every day is scheduled. Get up at the crack of dawn, make breakfast and lunches, get ready and get kid ready, go to work for 8 hours, pick kid up, go home and cook supper, clean up supper, help with homework, do a load or two of laundry, make a fetile attempt to clean something and fall into bed exhausted. Get up and do it again. But...would totally do it again if I knew I would be rewarded with the great kid that I have! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 12:31:16 PM | | im a single mum to 2 disbaled girls, 5 and 7 . 7 year old looks adhd and 5 year old has aultism. they dont see there dad due to domestic violence. my family dont help and my friends all ahve there own speacil needs kids. i thought my sons dad would see him, but i didnt know he was a selective dad. hes a good dad when he wants to be but selecetive. my son has a brother the same age and a older sister with his dad of 6. i alwasy thought his dads family would help with our son. but he wont let them and told them i was all mad and our sonw asnt his. ive proved to them he is. but there not allowed to see our son. his dad hasnt bothered to come see him because i found out about his lyes and hiding a baby from every one. so again i have no dad for any of my kids and i rasie them on my own. yes it hard. dont get me wrong but i love each one of them with all my heart and soul. my girls occsionall do loving things and we have fun, despite there problems but every day my sonw wakes up and hes 6mths old and he smiles at me. makes it all better and so worth while. when i was first pregnate his dad said get rid and tryed every mean trick in the book to make me and failed. so deep down i have always known its me and him and my girls and im glad i had him and yes id have another. there lovely. but i do liek my kids and doing kids things. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:17:36 PM | thats such an interesting hard question. If i said no i wouldn have my daughter so yes in that sense. Its not easy although i know everyother person has their own different struggle and challenge in this life. my daughter makes my life worth living literaly and i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for her. I would like to think if i had the choice to do it all again i would but wouldnt of stayed with her dad for as long as i did and fooled myself into thinking that he actually loved and respected me. Ah well life goes on, thank god and i am glad we have each other cause i'll always be there for her no matter what.
love and peace to you all. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/3/2008 5:45:00 PM | If I had to do it over, I wouldn't have married my ex.
This does not mean that I regret having my kids. Just regret marrying my ex. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:40:13 AM | | I would do it again in a heartbeat. Even with all the b.s. with my ex I'd still do it all again with him because if I didnt my daughter would'nt be who she is. Now when it comes to would I do it all again with another child, if it was the same kind of situation I dont know. Knowing if I did I'd be taking from my daughter lol I guess that's really another question I hope I'll never face. The hardest part of being a single Mom for me so far id say is time, I have to work alot more then I'd have to if my ex steped up cause I have to pay for a sitter when I work. If he spent some time with her then I wouldnt have to pay someone everytime I need or have to go out. Plus I feel guilty that I cant spend all the time I want with her. lol life as a single parent can be a juggling act and dropping the ball is just not an option. (for me anyways) Thair are plus' to being a single parent I dont have to see if my punishment is okay with someone else, when I say no it means no and I get all the bedtime hugs and kiss's lol | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/20/2008 6:47:26 PM | How hard is it raising a child by yourself?
At times difficult but the good times definately outweigh those difficult times.
If you had to do it again and knew it would be by yourself, would you?
Abso-freaking-lutely!!!!!
What is the hardest part about being a single Mom?
The lack of freedom when my son was little. I couldn't afford a babysitter so he came everywhere with me. Doing anything with child in tow takes longer. At times when my son was younger, money was really tight...I would go without eating so my son could for a couple of days until payday. Having to answer the question, "Mom, do I have a dad?" and then watching the inevitable happen... Son meets father, son is disappointed with father, son chooses not to have relationship with father.
I have a unique perspective to a degree because I have two children from different dads who are 10 years apart. My second child's father is very involved (50/50) custody. If I could change anything there, I would probably never have told him I was pregnant. Before anyone jumps on me for that comment...there are some damn good reasons for my saying it and they have NOTHING to do with me but everything to do with best interests of child! I will just not air that laundry on a forum. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/20/2008 9:02:32 PM | | Heck yeah I would! I don't think I have it any more difficult than a dual parent home. Yes there are stressors, but only DIFFERENT ones. Honestly, I'd love to find a partner to have my next children with, but I enjoy having my daughter so much that if I don't find that "special someone", I'll find a way come Hell or high water, to do it again on my own because it's so important for my daughter to have a sibling to grow up with. It's all about the person and what they really want in life. For me, it's a no-brainer. I love babies so much - it's not even a second thought. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:20:25 PM | | I am a single mom of 2. My son, 11, is autistic, and my daughter, 4, is preparing to take over the world. They have different fathers, and I have raised them both on my own. It has its moments of difficulty, which has forced me to get creative in regard to their care..(I opened my own business and renovated it to enable me to care for them while I am there, as my son requires specialized care and I cannot afford it.) For this reason, I have, at times, worked 2-3 jobs. It is something that has helped me develop alot of character, patience and durability that I would never otherwise have gained, so has been a mostly positive experience for me. I would not trade their hugs for anything in the world, but would maybe have chosen to finish my degree first if I had to do it over again. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:50:48 PM |
the hardest part of having my little girl alone (she is 4.5 months) is that eg wen she is crying and im making a bottle no one is there to hold her, or when I get frustrated no one is there to take her, i cant shower, use the toilet or do anything alone, i cant give her to any one for just half an hour a day just so i can take a breather
Sweetie, I've been through that and understand how exhausting it is, but I was a lot older than you. I'm probably telling you something you already know, but take advantage of any services offered to young single mothers. In Victoria, there are groups run by councils for young single mums; I know your bubs is young, but soon she'll be old enough for you to take her to a good child care place (ask your maternal health nurse) for a couple of hours' respite. Check them out and do it for yourself...
 sounds like you're doing a great job.
In fact, you all sound like awesome parents.. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:45:18 PM | | i know its hard but if u wanna talk to me my name is outhman i live in fairfield ct cal my cell 203 296 0686 and we talk | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:54:31 PM | I would ait if I was to do it all over again. I know that I am a much better mom now that I was 10 years ago when I started on this journey. I would have finished college and had my master's by now if I hadn't stopped to have kids and get married. I would have been better equipped to deal with the extra challenges having kids with special needs brings if I would have waited. Waiting could have also given a chance for my marriage to work (1 wedding, 2 kids, 3 moves, mil in the basement all in the span of 18 months means way too much stress to even work on the relationship).
That said I love all of my kids dearly, I would never change having the youngest 2, I went into parenting them with my eyes wide open already used to single parenting. I have been able to raise them all the way I had planned with me as a stay at home mom etc, so I would not change all of that. But holding off for a few years would have benefitted the kids a great deal I think, but there is no way to tell for sure.
I do know that I have hit my limit of kids by myself and am not interested in raising anymore on my own, so in that regard I would not do it again, any more kids will have to wait until I am in a long term stable relationship. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:52:36 PM | I would never want to turn back the time and do anything differently. I love my son more than anything in this world. The only thing I would of wanted different is for him to have both parents. having my son is actually a benefit to me- because he made me a better person and he has given me a lot of goals in life. Because of him I am a college student, because of him I go to work and never call out for no reason, because of him my future is more clear than it could ever be, I no longer wonder "when will I get married", "when will I meet someone", When, when, when... no when's.. NOW. I live today and enjoy my life today no matter how hard it is sometimes- not even that it's hard, it's just very stressful to play both roles.
ANyway, bottom line is this... kids are the biggest blessing any woman AND man could have, and it has to be cherrished, every minute and every second of it is precious and it's ashame that SOME man just have no idea what they are missing out on!!! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:58:25 PM | Regret nothing when it comes to all I have learned...but if I knew, NO!
Kids benefit more from both loving parents in a stable home. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/29/2008 2:03:05 PM | I know I would do it all over again.
I kicked my ex out when I was 8 months along with our youngest. My kids say they are glad of the life they have now. My youngest sort of knows him but the others know what it was like. Unfotunately he was/is not a good man. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/29/2008 6:22:01 PM |
If you had to do it again and knew it would be by yourself, would you?
When I had my babies, becoming a single mom was not part of my plan...My visions favored Griswold family outings - mom, dad, and kids getting wild and crazy at Wally World TOGETHER...Instead, every minute of my existence is spent worrying about how I, alone, will provide for them - emotionally, spiritually, and financially...
If I had to do it again and KNEW it would be by myself? No, I would not deliberately go out and have children KNOWING that I would be single parent...Children deserve and need both parents... | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/29/2008 7:14:30 PM | I would have done it sooner.
Is it hard...of course. Practice makes perfect.
Ask for help when needed.
Have a regular babysitter.
Make new friends.
When you are sick, it is harder.
Just like any sane parent, you miss them when they are at ex's house.
When something needs fixing, no man to do it, so figure it out, or go to Home Depot and ask.
Holidays are always different scenario every year...love big family gatherings.
You adjust....different is not always worse...actually my life is better now than it ever was...for me and my boys. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 12/30/2008 3:01:08 AM | | Ohh I believe it to be much easier, in my case anyway. The father was a problem and had no regard or respect for the proper way to bring up children. You have control of your family so take it and make the best of an unfortunate situation... | |
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