| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:58:49 AM |
Did I stutter.... I said the woman doesnt need a man in her life to raise children. It is the children who need the man in their life.....
Well I wouldnt stay in a relationship that was not healthy for me... If it is not healthy for me it is not healthy for my children. Good fathers will be apart of their childrens lives on a daily basis. Or as often as time permits. A good mother however will not get in the way of a father having a relationship with their child. I dont think I said anything wrong for you to quote me. Please clarify if I missed something.
Why does something have to be "wrong" if someone quotes you? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:24:20 PM |
I have no idea. I had been on the patch for over a year and never even had a pregnancy scare. Then my monthly hadn't came, I took a pregnancy test it was negative. Then two weeks later I took another and I was indeed pregnant. I actually argued with my doctor for over an hour about how the results must have been incorrect or my test mixed up with another womans.
Oh, that stupid patch. I've heard about many, many complications from that type of birth control. That must have been just devastating (at the time).  | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:34:24 PM |
Oh, that stupid patch. I've heard about many, many complications from that type of birth control. That must have been just devastating (at the time).
It really was (especially at 19) but I thought long and hard about it and made the decision to become a mother. I knew it wouldn't be hard, and that was all I expected but it's been so much more...cliche I know but it's true! lol | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:58:25 PM | the pill isn't completely effective either.
i had a miscarriage and was told that i couldn't get pregnant for a month
i returned to the doctor's office one and a half month later and i was 3 weeks
pregnant.
i had went straight from a miscarriage into the pregnancy with my daughter.
medically speaking, i was told that it was impossible.
i guess that it wasn't.
the doctor's office was amazed also.
i do have beautiful children.
i wish that i had help.
doing it alone suks!!! it is really hard!!! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:17:29 PM | I am sorry you had to go through that Vixen.
I cant stand people who use their mental illness to justify doing awful things to people.
He should be in prison for hitting you while pregnant.
Dont think of being a solo parent as hard, think of it as the best thing and the most important thing you will ever do.
Are you a stay at home mom? Im guessing you are, so maybe you could ask a trusted friend or relative for a little help, even if for maybe just an hour a day to veg out and rejuvenate, or a day to go to a spa and relax?
If i lived closer i would volunteer, but im way down at the end of Florida :(.
Stay strong and count the blessings.
 
To the topic, yes i would do it again, but with a different father for the first, and would have finished a bachelors. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:48:43 PM |
I cant stand people who use their mental illness to justify doing awful things to people.
He should be in prison for hitting you while pregnant.
It's sad to me that you don't seem to understand that a disease is a disease, and that a person does not control the DNA they are born with.
He should be in a mental institution, not prison.
I can't believe how cruel people can be to people with mental illnesses. Don't "judge" an unwed mother, but someone who was born with messed up brain chemistry gets slandered. What a joke.
i had went straight from a miscarriage into the pregnancy with my daughter.
medically speaking, i was told that it was impossible.
i guess that it wasn't.
the doctor's office was amazed also.
A woman is more fertile in the months immediately following a miscarriage because of the elevated levels of progesterone in her system. Progesterone is a hormone that supports pregnancy and proper implantation of a fetus in a woman's uterus. When a woman becomes pregnant, the progesterone level in her blood rises. After she miscarries, it takes awhile for the level of progesterone in her system to return to normal. Therefore, it has been argued that due to the elevated levels of progesterone in a woman's system following a miscarriage, a woman experiences increased fertility in the first few months after a miscarriage.
Some doctors have acknowledged that a woman experiences a brief period increased fertility due to an elevated progesterone level following a miscarriage. Experts report that a woman's fertility level should return to normal within four to six weeks after the miscarriage, when ovulation occurs and a woman's menstrual cycle returns to normal.
Although some doctors believe that there is a brief period of increased fertility following a miscarriage, most doctors recommend that a woman wait until after this time before trying to conceive again.
Alternatively, a woman may experience decreased fertility as a result of stress or emotional disturbance following a miscarriage. This is variant, but not known to be common.
Source: WebMD | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:16:33 PM | the pill isn't completely effective either.
i had a miscarriage and was told that i couldn't get pregnant for a month
i returned to the doctor's office one and a half month later and i was 3 weeks
pregnant.
i had went straight from a miscarriage into the pregnancy with my daughter.
medically speaking, i was told that it was impossible.
i guess that it wasn't.
the doctor's office was amazed also.
i do have beautiful children.
i wish that i had help.
doing it alone suks!!! it is really hard!!!
I just find it hard to believe that a doctor would say it's ok to have unprotected sex for a month, because you cannot get pregnant in that month. Is that what the doctor actually said? Or were you trying to get pregnant right away after the miscarriage? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:31:39 PM | People with far worse mental conditions know it is not right to hit somebody.
I have clinical depression that i take cymbalta for, and suffered loss of oxygen to the brain from a near drowning when i was a little girl, would you be cool with it if i beat your ass while you were pregnant? I s0mehow doubt that would go over well with you if you were the pregnant woman being smacked around.
You wont change my opinion. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:43:25 PM | People with far worse mental conditions know it is not right to hit somebody.
"Far worse" does not indicate their ability to reason, their level of aggression or the extremes and intensities at which they experience their moods.
You don't get that what is "normal" to you, isn't "normal" to someone with a chemical imbalance.
Since clinical depression isn't the same as mania, I wouldn't consider your aggression to be a symptom of your disease.
Extreme manic episodes can sometimes lead to psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations, extreme paranoia, homicidal and violent outbursts. Cases of bipolar disorder axis I (the most severe version) experience no normal moods at all, they experience mania, depression and mixed episodes. In some Axis I individuals, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, known as rapid cycling, with no normal mood separating the mood swings.
Take a psych course on mental illness and get some perspective.
Would you blame the person with a brain tumor for their extreme and abusive behavior? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:44:04 PM |
People with far worse mental conditions know it is not right to hit somebody.
I have clinical depression that i take cymbalta for, and suffered loss of oxygen to the brain from a near drowning when i was a little girl, would you be cool with it if i beat your ass while you were pregnant? I s0mehow doubt that would go over well with you if you were the pregnant woman being smacked around.
You wont change my opinion.
Knowing right from wrong and having the self control to abide by that are two different things, though, in some cases. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:21:42 PM | alcoholism is a disease
but i guess that if an alcoholic kills a family in a car while drunk driving that alcoholic was not responsible because he was drunk.
when a person is aware of their condition,
denies it,
blames it on others,
refuses to do take his meds
he is not to be institutionalized
he is to be locked up
because he wasn't acting responsibly
and taking his meds | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:34:55 PM | Alcoholism is a dependence on an outside substance. Drug addiction is the same.
Mental illness is a chemical imbalance; IE dependence on the brain's function to be present.
when a person is aware of their condition,
denies it,
blames it on others,
refuses to do take his meds
he is not to be institutionalized
he is to be locked up
The first conditions of this statement are part of the mental illness, like I've said repeatedly. The last part, I will not comment on, because what I have to say will likely piss you off.
Responsibility and Axis I bipolar disorder DO NOT go hand and hand.
You haven't denied you married and had children with someone knowing he was like this, so how responsible do you consider yourself to be? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:49:02 AM | | It's hard as hell...my husband died before my son was even born! I try not to "should've" all over myself. Sometimes I believe that we're not meant to know in advance. I just trust that the Lord only gives me what I can handle with his help of course. It's hard to schedule dates and such as my family and my late husband's lives in other states...The hardest part for me is the guilt I feel that I'm not doing it well enough...and the worry...again pray, pray, pray.... | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:36:19 AM | Sorry but I wanted to make a comment to those who stated their doctors told them they couldnt get preganant or not to take birth control as there was no chance of pregnancy.
I really think you need to report your doctor as I have no clue why a medical professional would ever give that advice.
I am very familiar with pregnancy, hormones, and fertility trust me I have been dealing with it for 6 years. I was on fertility drugs and had aleast 24 miscarrages and a tubal pregancy. The reason doctors tell you to be careful is not due to progestrone levels it is due to not knowing when the next egg will be released due to the pregnancy. Progesterone is produced when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the wall of the uterus and this helps the developing fetus until the placenta is formed. Depending on how far along you are depends on how long it takes for the hormone levels to drop. It is not the progestrone that takes so long to go to normal levels it is the HCG levels. Once the fetus aborts progestrone ceases to exist. those levels drop very quickly. Trust me after 24 miscarriages you know the hormone levels its signs and meanings.
Regardless..... If you dont want to get pregnant protect yourself dont listen to what anyone has to say. I am AMAZED any doctor would give you that kind of information. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:41:09 AM |
medically speaking, i was told that it was impossible Well whoever told you that needs to go back to medical school. Unbelievable that you could be given advice that is so blatantly incorrect. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:31:58 AM |
Sorry but I wanted to make a comment to those who stated their doctors told them they couldnt get preganant or not to take birth control as there was no chance of pregnancy.
I really think you need to report your doctor as I have no clue why a medical professional would ever give that advice.
I am very familiar with pregnancy, hormones, and fertility trust me I have been dealing with it for 6 years. I was on fertility drugs and had aleast 24 miscarrages and a tubal pregancy. The reason doctors tell you to be careful is not due to progestrone levels it is due to not knowing when the next egg will be released due to the pregnancy. Progesterone is produced when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the wall of the uterus and this helps the developing fetus until the placenta is formed. Depending on how far along you are depends on how long it takes for the hormone levels to drop. It is not the progestrone that takes so long to go to normal levels it is the HCG levels. Once the fetus aborts progestrone ceases to exist. those levels drop very quickly. Trust me after 24 miscarriages you know the hormone levels its signs and meanings.
Regardless..... If you dont want to get pregnant protect yourself dont listen to what anyone has to say. I am AMAZED any doctor would give you that kind of information.
I honestly do not believe any doctor told any woman that. I think people hear what they want to hear. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:47:31 AM | I do not believe a doctor would ever say to not use birth control. But for someone who was told
"If you ever are able to conceive then you would have no problem carrying the child to term BUT without medical intervention I don't see you being able to conceive" I know very well that doctors (at least mine) do tell women this.
Maybe that is not the same as "Absolutely no way will you ever get pregnant" but to me, someone who could never imagine being able to afford "medical intervention" it sure as hell meant that to me.
This was after trying with my first husband. Then I was in a relationship for 3 years and tried then to. Well...didn't use protection anyways. Not really "tried". | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:49:36 AM | I do not believe a doctor would ever say to not use birth control. But for someone who was told
"If you ever are able to conceive then you would have no problem carrying the child to term BUT without medical intervention I don't see you being able to conceive" I know very well that doctors (at least mine) do tell women this.
I was told a variation of this as well, the same doctor prescribed my birth control and inserted my IUD. (I have PCOS and endometriosis)
I think it was more like, when it comes time to conceive, you may need help, so don't be afraid to get fertility testing before trying. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:50:43 AM | | Oh yeah. My doctor still told me to use birth control. And was going to perform my tubal years later! That's how I found out I was pregnant. lol. Pre-op blood work came back positive, | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:54:50 AM |
I think it was more like, when it comes time to conceive, you may need help, so don't be afraid to get fertility testing before trying.
We (me and DH) are actually starting the process for this right now. Ugh. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:02:53 AM | | Yes...I would definately do it all over again. I raised 4 kids mostly by myself. My kids have absolutely without question been the biggest, best part of my life. Love them all dearly. Two in college and well on their way to doing what they enjoy. One will make the money, the other would rather help people. Two left at home and then mom is done. And I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself once they are gone. Hardest thing about raising kids by yourself??? Making the money stretch, finding time to take care of yourself so you're healthy enough to raise them, disciplining was a tough one for me..there is something about that male tone that gets kids attention. I never had to worry about disagreements on how to raise them. I got to make all the decisions and I liked that. I would definately recommend finding a male figure for your child though. They really do need both female and male influences. My brother and dad filled that void for my kids. Through all the tough times (and there were plenty) I still look back on it now and do not regret divorcing and raising my kids on my own. They were surrounded by love and had a stable, happy home...which they didn't have when I was married. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:14:12 AM | I did take psych courses in school, and before i became a sahm i did weekends at the county retarded citizens association, and have taken in a young bipolar lady friend who was haivng some troubles. All of he clients of the RCA, and the lady that stayed with me, knew never to hit anyone.
So if a bipolar person beats you up while you are carrying a child, are you ok with that? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:34:59 AM |
I did take psych courses in school, and before i became a sahm i did weekends at the county retarded citizens association, and have taken in a young bipolar lady friend who was haivng some troubles. All of he clients of the RCA, and the lady that stayed with me, knew never to hit anyone.
So if a bipolar person beats you up while you are carrying a child, are you ok with that?
I don't think anyone is saying that they are ok with that. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:50:35 AM | RCA=retarded citizens assoc.??? Does Fla allow an assoc to be called that these days???
edit: wow ! They do! Guess thats the south for ya... | |
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