| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:58:29 AM | I did take psych courses in school, and before i became a sahm i did weekends at the county retarded citizens association, and have taken in a young bipolar lady friend who was haivng some troubles. All of he clients of the RCA, and the lady that stayed with me, knew never to hit anyone.
So if a bipolar person beats you up while you are carrying a child, are you ok with that?
Since when does "blame the disease, love them, encourage them to get help, don't purposefully get into situations with a mentally ill person that are unfavorable, don't slander them on the internet for things they cannot control" equate to "I'm okay with a mentally ill person (or anyone for that matter) acting in any way, abusive or other destructiveness?
I already said, he should have tried harder and worked with a doctor to find a combination that got him to a normal state. Nobody knows if he's capable of that though, and even psychiatrists get tricked by the lies the brain chemistry concocts of people with mental illnesses of this nature.
Also, Bipolar disorder is the new common diagnosis for "sometimes I feel really bad, and sometimes I feel on top of the world - what's wrong with me?", as I've described, and not everyone that gets diagnosed with it has it, and many people have very, very mild versions of it. Each case is different so comparing the bipolar person you "took in" to a case that was so extreme the person couldn't function on our level of normalcy means nothing unless you describe her symptoms. In any case, if she took her meds and was fine, without human intervention forcing her to do so, it doesn't really fit under the diagnosis of Axis I bipolar disorder by definition. More likely, it was so the meds and treatment would be covered by her insurance or by the state.
I asked you a question; would you blame a person with a brain tumor causing these same traits for their behavior? Or would you blame the tumor because it's something that you can comprehend and is tangible to your current understanding of diseases? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:32:16 AM | all i can say is that the state wanted to lock him up and throw away the key for 6 months.
so missy, the law says he was to go to jail not a mental institution. it was my agreement with him that got his sorry ar se out of jail, got the state to drop the charges************
that was very difficult to do***************to try to get him to do right by him family without a felony charge on his record. which is what they wanted to convict him for in my state. they did not want him has his mental illness excuse*********he bailed from anger managemnet**********he bailed from domestic violence intervention project
state required courses for abusers not bipolars
they wanted him in jail.
i did not know many things about my ex
i found out many things when i was 6 months pregnant
i didn't know that he had a live in girlfriend in England
i can go on and on.............
he was NOT honest with me
but we did make i family
and i did try to salvage the marriage
divorce is not a throwaway matter | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:05:58 AM | I'm not going to reiterate anything that the NIMH has to say about how to get persons' afflicted with a mental illness help, and how to encourage them. I've made my argument for my original statement, and I stand by it. You've made your "argument" without saying anything contributory to your stance, and it is clear you wish to remain on the side that says that mental illnesses are not diseases, so I won't be saying anything else. It would only be a redundant waste of my time.
However, I will ask you nicely to stop calling me "honey", "missy" and/or "little girl". It is getting increasingly difficult not to come across as hostile and condescending as you are attempting to be. I will not ask again. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:16:46 AM | ^^^
FriendlyFreeSpirit: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. See Also: Hypocrite.
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:43:37 AM | | It is hard raising a child by yourself but more stressful than hard! Would I do it over again, not by choice but if it happened then I would just keep going! My kids are my life and all the stress will be worth it in the long run!! I think the hardest part for me is when I just need a 10 min break and cant get one. Another thing that is hard is trying to make my kids father understand that rules are important! Bed times are important! And respecting each other around the kids are more important!! He tends to get rude.. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:07:55 AM | I was taught by my husband when i use to ride-along with him on the job, that bipolars are very non violent, unless they are abusing alcohol or drugs in a manic state. They are more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violence. The rate of violence amongst bipolar individual is not higher than persons with no mental disorders.
Yes I think a person with a brain tumor can be capable of recognizing that violence is not ok.
And btw Bo you are more of a hypocrite than any one else on here. Try working on yourself before berating others. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:49:37 AM | I was taught by my husband when i use to ride-along with him on the job, that bipolars are very non violent, unless they are abusing alcohol or drugs in a manic state. They are more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violence. The rate of violence amongst bipolar individual is not higher than persons with no mental disorders.
Yes I think a person with a brain tumor can be capable of recognizing that violence is not ok.
And btw Bo you are more of a hypocrite than any one else on here. Try working on yourself before berating others.
I don't really care what your husband taught you in ride-alongs (was he a police officer?), but if you do some research, I don't know, from maybe a reliable psychological or psychiatric or any kind of medical source, manic episodes do not need alcohol or drugs to act as a catalyst for violence and aggressive behavior. Again, I am talking about Bipolar Axis I - real cases, not cases that were given that label for monetary benefit of the afflicted or the psychiatrist. 25.34% of Bipolar Axis I patients exhibit aggressive and violent behavior without any drug or alcohol abuse. The use of these does increase the risk, but it isn't the cause.
Approximately 2.9% of Americans have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder Axis I or Axis II. Only 30.7% of those Americans actually test positive for the disorder (meaning they are Axis I). So if 2.9% of Americans is roughly 2.3 million people, and only 30.7% of them are Axis I, that's about 760,000 people. 25.34% of those people will exhibit violent behavior. That is around 30,400 people. The number itself is much lower than the number of non-bipolar violent people every year (I don't know that number), but can you honestly say that 1/4 non-BP people will be violent?
I didn't ask if a person with a brain tumor CAN be capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong. I asked if you believe someone with a brain tumor that exhibits violent behavior (that is unusual for the individual), would you hold the person accountable, even though they have absolutely no way to control their behavior?
Show me where I've made a hypocritical statement. I wasn't scolding anyone. I was being scolded, to which I pointed out the poster was doing the same thing, and that her name was ironic. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:06:25 PM | Yes he was for 20 years, also taught police academy courses, I am sure he had plenty of research and experience. Yes the brain tumor patient should be held accountable.
Being hypocritical : Vixen is bipolar yet you have no problem being mean to her.
And all that unwed mother attacking when you dont have a mans ring on your finger.
You insult working moms for going to school yet you claim to be working and studying.
Maybe the change in the world you want to see should start at home. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:36:34 PM | Vixen is bipolar yet you have no problem being mean to her.
I said, "Calling someone with a mental illness selfish is mean."
Then I was attacked, to which I fought back, with explaining things. I don't respond well to verbal attacks. I admit that. Hypocritical? Nope. I did not call her selfish for things beyond her control. I also find it hard to believe that she is bipolar and has no understanding of the illness.
And all that unwed mother attacking when you dont have a mans ring on your finger.
Hmm... show me some unwed mother attacking - on the basis that it is because they are unwed, and we can discuss my unwed status as being hypocritical.
You insult working moms for going to school yet you claim to be working and studying.
I never insulted anyone. I stated my opinion on being outside of the home before your child is in preschool. My daughter is in preschool and during that time I now work as a research scientist part time. I have not returned to school yet, and I won't until she is in elementary school. Again, fail to see the hypocrisy.
Maybe the change in the world you want to see should start at home.
Maybe I won't respond to this because I'm not like you.
Yes he was for 20 years, also taught police academy courses, I am sure he had plenty of research and experience. Yes the brain tumor patient should be held accountable.
Teaching police academy courses is not studying and researching mental illnesses. Like I said, I'm pretty sure the mental health professionals and institutes know more than you and your husband combined on the matter.
I'd like to see you be the person who calls the cops on someone who has no control over their behaviors because of a tumorous mass inside of their brain causing malfunction. That is so cruel, I cannot believe anyone could feel this way about someone with a terminal illness with uncontrollable personality malfunctions as a side effect! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:58:05 PM |
I'd like to see you be the person who calls the cops on someone who has no control over their behaviors because of a tumorous mass inside of their brain causing malfunction.
Um...I don't care what the person had, if someone went all batsh!t crazy on me I'd call the cops in a heartbeat! I don't care if it was a bowling ball size tumor. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:02:50 PM | Boxsfaninwa: I'm a hypocrite because I've asked people to back off from the ridiculous fighting and stick to the topic?
I'll tell you why I asked. This thread has been going for a long time. There are posts here from people who left because of this very issue - the inane bickering, the refusal to see another's point of view, the put downs, the selfishness, really - and they are wonderful posts that reveal so much about how sometimes our choices don't always pan out the way we hoped.
The posts reveal the heartbreak of a marriage dissolution, the heartbreak of being left a widow and the huge responsibility it is in raising a child or children alone. And the guilt involved in causing a situation (albeit unwillingly for many) that could negatively affect our children.
By continuing this silly squabbling (and I mean silly) because you and others feel the need to be right will only see this thread being deleted.
You may not care, but there are others here who do. There is vital information for those seeking it in this thread.
I know you mean I'm a hypocrite because I call myself "friendly" and you're interpreting it as the opposite, but ...this isn't about you. This is about preserving some words from some posters who poured their hearts out here.
Do you understand that? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:45:20 PM | I said what I said because of what you said.
"Here's a novel idea...", not exactly the friendly approach to steering a topic back on track. You also didn't say anything that was on-topic, and you are still off-topic yourself.
I mentioned that the slander of the person with a mental illness was mean. I was then attacked and belittled, spoken to like a child for pointing out that the mentally ill should be understood more, and encouraged and loved the way the NIMH suggests is the only way to get them help.
I wasn't turning anything into being "about me." It's what you said that was also off-topic and not friendly at all. Just stating the obvious. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:05:54 PM | Yes, we get your point, bosoxfan. It wasn't the first time I'd pleaded for a return to the topic, so perhaps I was sounding a little testy.
(why do I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager???) | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:51:42 PM |
Yes, we get your point, bosoxfan. It wasn't the first time I'd pleaded for a return to the topic, so perhaps I was sounding a little testy.
(why do I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager???)
Who is we that you are speaking for?
I don't know, why do you feel that way? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:32:37 PM | Because you don't listen and you don't hear much except the sound of your own voice.
You're also rather rude and aggressive, for no reason.
You don't like to be told you're wrong in any way.
You seem to think you have the answer to everything.
And you make every thread about yourself...it's all about YOU.
Actually, you're beginning to make my teenager appear extremely reasonable.
Now, I'll stop because you're getting too much attention and I'm not going to play along, ok? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:33:12 PM | Meh, I think I will choose to believe someone with 20 years of experience working the streets dealing with criminals on a daily basis than you, Bo.
And sure i would call the cops if anyone, bipolar, brain tumor, or whatnot, was doing anything harmful to me or anyone i care about.
We had an incident just last year in our little town where a man attempted to attack a 3 year old girl walking with her mother with a chainsaw, wanted to cut her head off. Only was thwarted because some passerbys kicked his ass, and the mother called the cops on her cell (what a beyatch, calling the cops on some poor poor mentally ill dude that only wanted to cut her kids head off with a chainsaw), in court his defense was that he was bipolar. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:33:27 PM | Because you don't listen and you don't hear much except the sound of your own voice.
You're also rather rude and aggressive, for no reason.
You don't like to be told you're wrong in any way.
You seem to think you have the answer to everything.
And you make every thread about yourself...it's all about YOU.
Actually, you're beginning to make my teenager appear extremely reasonable.
Now, I'll stop because you're getting too much attention and I'm not going to play along, ok?
Seems that you're the one making the thread about me, or rather the convoluted version of me you so wickedly illustrate. 
How many of my posts have you read, and of how many threads?
You're right though, you sure are friendly!
Meh, I think I will choose to believe someone with 20 years of experience working the streets dealing with criminals on a daily basis than you, Bo.
I gave you the places (THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MEDICAL HEALTH), other than PSYCH classes where I got my information. I also have been working pharmaceutical and medical research since I was in high school.
Your opinion is to blame people for their behavior when they have no control over it. I guess we should blame the all the other diseased for their symptoms, too. My opinion is to hate the behavior, hate the disease, and try to get the person well. But, hey, that's just my take on how to handle illnesses. To each their own. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:10:03 PM | You don't like to be told you're wrong in any way.
You seem to think you have the answer to everything.
And you make every thread about yourself...it's all about YOU.
Um...these three points are ridiculous even as opinions and are a better descriptor of one's own present mental state than anybody elses. Technically speaking; watch the Freudian slips.
The rest was reasonable as an opinion, though not necessarily accurate. I don't agree for example.
Faninwa has been quite accurate, dutiful and patient in her posts. Met with anecdotal challenges and social discourse, nothing more substantial whatsoever. An "A" for her paper, fail for the rest of you. I'm afraid few would make successful psych majors or enter the medical field, you could try pseudoscience...oh excuse me you already have.
She's as entitled to personal opinions regarding dutiful motherhood as anybody. And she could be as wrong as anybody about it. On top of that she's smart as a sunrise so arguing point for point about mental illness is going to be a losing proposition because that's got nothing to do with her opinions about anything, but are reiterations of research and published findings.
Personally I'd find it likely someone of her character is going to be better at motherhood than many. For one her approach to problem solving is logical and easy for children to understand, her kids aren't likely to grow up thinking an authority figure is anyone for whom might makes right, but is a knowledgeable source of reference rather and can help one achieve far, far more than simply getting by without drawing too much attention. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:34:06 PM | I'm not debating her intelligence. It seems my pleas will continue to fall on deaf ears. Ok, goodbye thread and goodbye to those posts which actually deal with the topic and not whether Faninwa is right or whether she thinks I'm nasty.
Sheesh. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:35:02 PM | The hardest part????
DEALING WITH THE EX!!!
If I click my heels together three times...could I send him somewhere over the rainbow? Hahahahahaha. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:39:36 PM | I'm afraid few would make successful psych majors or enter the medical field,
Whew! Thank God I chose Accounting as my major!  | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:59:38 PM | i had already left the father of my child before i found out, so when i found out i knew i would be doing it alone.
would i go back and not have him? hell no! i love my child more then anything in this world, yes it has made me grow up faster then i would of liked but i always had my priorities in order so it wasnt that life changing for me.
is it hard?
well that depends on how care/responsible free your life is now.
the hardest part of being a single mom?
everything has its moments
for me i dont have any family here or friends that can watch him when i need to do something. So being able to afford baby sitters and going out to do what i need to or going out with friends can be a bit tricky, i for sure dont get to do it as much as id like!
as long as you have a wicked support system around you, or learn to be your own support system emotionally you will be fine. | |
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