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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:06:49 PM | Hell no. It takes two, three, or four people to raise a baby... I'm about to lose my damn mind.
Having said that, my child is an awesome blessing and life would be so dull without him. I thank God every day for the sweetest gift he could ever give me.
These chicks that go out, get sperm donations, do it all on there own??? Can't see that happening with me. Whatever works, as long as the child has lots of love. The rest falls into place. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:31:05 AM | ** S'cuse me OP, but Off Topic, and am returning your thread to your regularly scheduled program, but for this post, I HAVE to address the following: **
Oh, HELL No!!.... 
Never mind that you've erased the About Me section of your profile, VivaciousVixen2009, Atonement (GAG), Hoott Mama (gag again)... YOUR story is OLD. And you have the UN*******BELIEVABLE NERVE !!! to post:
GET A FUCHKING LIFE!!!!!! PLS~~~~ stop looking for male attention on this website like a desperate little girl. 
Just reading your posting history alone, and the bullshit you spew concerning your son's behavioral probs, your bipolar psych/meds issues, and the garbage you voluntarily drag your innocent children through.... Your children need to be remanded into State Protective Custody - DCF.
YOU need to be Baker Acted, but that's just for starters, and you know it, allll too well. The unmitigated bullshit you spew and the trash of your sexcapades (but it's the guy's fault over, and over, and over again), to the detriment of your children's health and safety, is despicable.
I'm willing to bet that your son's autism, in HIS case, is a direct result of your having drug abuse inflicted upon him while he was in gestation aka a crack baby or very similar - self medicating your bi-polarism (wouldn't believe the bipolar shit without concrete expert evidence, I'm betting you're not bipolar at all, but is sounds plausible eh?) Which IS punishable by law, you know that too, YOU'VE lucked out squirming your way through the cracks in the system. Your children pay. Your bullshit about his being allergic to milk so he spent his infancy constantly vomiting because DCF forced you to use milk and not a replacement formula so THEY put your son through living hell is total unmitigated BULLSHIT.
He's a runner, he defacates on the floor and smears it everywhere, he's violent and a danger to himself... You claim he has destroyed your house... it's HIS fault, HIS autism... nothing whatsoever to do with the effect YOU, and your chosen lifestyle has on him eh? HIS behavioral probs got him kicked out of kindergarden. Had to fight the state to get him INTO school... you are SO FULL OF SHIT. Oh, but you loooove your kid's, YOU the martyr. As you attack a drunken man with a girlfriend of yours that you methodically planned, and set HIM up with (YOUR THREAD)... while your kids are where? Clawing through the walls, goes into violent meltdowns my guess - in vein attempt to escape his mother's bunny boiling fun house of a life.
Tell us... did you ever get a bite for the volunteer stranger(s) that you advertised for HERE in the FLA Forum to watch your kids at an outdoor POF meet just this summer, while you "mingle"? Yep ... caught that one just mere seconds before that thread was deleted.
Had your case landed on MY desk, I assure you I would have printed these postings, along with your PIC AND PROFILE and entered them into evidence attached to my recommendations that your children be remanded to state (I would have already pulled them day one of the investigation), and you brought up on criminal charges, serve time, supervised visitation IF you jumped through hoops of parenting classes successfully, and piss tested every time you turned around.
I bet you just giggle that the Dept. Of Child Protection is so overburdened that you've gotten away with it all so far.... too bad I'm not still there... I would have LOVED to have met you at that POF meet on that beach that day, with a print out of your hawking for any 'ol random stranger to watch your autistic son, and I'm sure bewildered daughter, while you scratch and sniff for your next bunny to boil between your legs, as I handed you my card, and taken your kids into custody ON THE SPOT.
Lucky for you, I was promoted out of the Dept. before your son was born, and have since then retired, eh? Not so lucky for them. However, just by your postings I already know you are 'registered' into the states system.
If I EVER see you post a hawk advert like that again I will DAMN well make it a priority to print it, and ALL, your shit out, and make a few calls to find out if there is still a co-worker, dept head, supervisor... WHOMEVER... from back in the day, and are still there and initiate an expedited case HOOOTT MAAMMAA VIVACIOUS VIXEN.
I SWEAR it ...
** Dear, GOD... prayer's for the safety, and welfare, of these children. And, their mother get the Mt. Vesuvius of Mental Help for ALL their sakes.** | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/11/2009 9:20:22 PM | yes i would...there would be some changes
the first one...would be men would not meet my son
only one person
i made this mistake due to the fact
i did not want him to have a babysitter
also less worrying about what people think
more confidence in me...do not fret about other people's ideas
spend more time taking him in other activities
he did swimming and hockey and soccer
would want him to play basketball and activities
also talk to him in spanish
that is a big mistake
spent more time on socializing for me
i have focused on him
but did not socialize enough with enough people
i do date but it is hard
i love being a parent
i thank my son for making me look good...and for making it lokk easy | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/11/2009 9:21:41 PM | | himmyname is Sarah...the baby is young...he is an infant...you will be okay...it gets better do not worry ...it will be okay ...i was frustrated at a young age...but then it became better...i was lucky i had support | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:12:09 AM | If I had to do it over again would I get the two kids I have now? If so then YES! ;)
Its been hard and trying and stressful at times, but as the youngest gets older its getting easier though being a prent is never going to be an easy job. Right? | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:53:49 AM | I have raised all 3 of my kids by myself, yes it can be hard and you get the many questions. You answer them the best you can and in the end your the winner. You get to experience everything they did as a child and the deadbeat dad doesn't. It wasn't until 5 years ago that I got full custody of my 2 youngest, only because he was abusing my 2 girls. It was rough, and I mean really really rough for awhile. I quit doing everything and did only for my kids. The hardest part is having to be in two or three different places at once. But luckily my kids are very understanding and I always work it out. I don't live near family, so that makes it harder but even if I did I would not push things on them at all. Being a single mother has only made me a stronger person and if I had to change anything it might be who I was with but then I wouldn't have my kids and well since my kids mean more to me than any man ever will, no I wouldn't change a thing!! When you become a parent, you live for your kids and not for some guy that might not be there tomorrow. I have found this out the hard way, but I have 3 of the greatest gifts that anyone could ever give me.
Judge me if you want but everyone's situation is different. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:42:43 AM | | Just to answer the question...drama aside...I have always said, the biggest romance, the most wonderful love of my life was falling in love with the toothless little smile, that bubbly little full belly laugh at the smallest of things, that deep look in your eyes like you are the center of the universe, and no one can hold you so tight and say "I love you!" like that little person. Would I do it again? A million times over! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:32:34 AM | No. That is the reason why I only have one child and not many by different men. I love the one I have but he was unplanned. I will never, ever put another child through this.
My caveat is I make a good salary and am comfortable but it isnt always about physical comforts. A man can give to a child things that a woman can not. That is the reality. All children deserve both a mom and a dad. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:42:58 PM | It isn't just the loneliness. It is putting that child ahead of my simple needs. I remember how i use to get my nails done and spend hours after work just hiking or running... then when you have a child, they need you at home. Dating is about getting a sitter when they are little and the concern men have while dating you... the unasked question - 'if she has one child, will she try to get pregnant by me?' or 'do i want to have a ready made family?'.
Thankfully, I believe in Gd and so having my son wasn't something that was scary. In my mind, he was a gift and meant to be. I reminded myself of this everytime I was passed over for a women who didn't have kids (termed - baggage...that does happen) or when he left because things became too real. I told myself that kids needs a solid 8 years to form them and a few years after that to give them stability. If a mom couldn't give her child 13 years to insure they are healthy emotionally, then perhaps she isn't a mom. What we do to our kids the first few years of their lives affect them forever.
I have dated wonderful men who have become his friends too. I often tease them that they fall in love with my son first and then want me...
I am lonely, many nights but thankfully, I can look myself in the mirror before I go to bed. I haven't screwed up his life by a divorce or by bringing someone into his life that would be mean to him. Perhaps I was too hard on men when he was a baby and young for fear that a man would hurt him. But I did what I had to do to keep him safe. I have tried very, very hard not to put my insecurities and defects onto him.
He is now almost 15 and while I am older now, I am still young enough to dance and live and love. I am so proud that we made it. I am proud that I did it. Would I do it again, alone? Never. I am an incredible mom but I know I am because I have always had the time to devote to him. He starts college soon (early for his age) and he is active in many organizations. I have no doubt that the reason he has suceeded is because he has had my full attention. He knows he is loved and has never questioned his place in this world.
I have been blessed and very lucky in that I have never needed welfare programs to survive. This is often not the case. It takes so much to raise a child and nobody will love your kid quite like you do. To many, they are just an inconvenience. To me, he has been my life.
~Some moms will never quite be able to let their sons go. I, however, am very excited that soon he will be on his own. my son is an incredible young man and i am honored to have been given the chance to raise him. I try not to be a helicopter parent and I look forward to the day when I can cut the last tendrils of apron strings. I will know I have succeeded when he falls in love and is a good father. When I hold my grandchildren in my arms, I will know that my sacrafices were worth it and that I gave not only to my own son, but to my grandchildren. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:15:25 AM | | It's the same as raising a child with another parent, only you do EVERYTHING by yourself with no help, and you're not with the father/mother, which honestly isn't THAT bad. It takes some getting used to, though. I get frustrated and discouraged sometimes, but of course I'd do it all over again (I wish I could just get Dominic without having to have been with his father, but unfortunately, doesn't work that way). I think the hardest part for me is dealing with my son's father, and getting up at 3 AM. Other than that, it really is frickin sweet. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:15:59 PM | | I totally agree with you, the hardest part this year has been juggling my son's football team. But well life will go on and has no matter what you do. I would rather have them every weekend than to have to share them. | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:34:05 PM | | For me, It's not that hard. I actually think it's easier. I don't have to share him. Would i do it again, not so sure only bc i do want to have a "family". But, my experience has been great. It's been me and my little man for 8 years and we have had a blast!! | |
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| Would Single Moms Do it over Again?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:38:41 PM | | Also, I have a great support system. My little man's father plays professional baseball, and luckily his old team mates (St.Louis Cardinals) know what a jerk he is so they take extra time with him. I also, have my brothers and sisters.. But i wouldn't intentionally do it... | |
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