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| | Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?Page 11 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | If I am reading your response correctly,what we are is determined by DNA, who we are is determined by a culmination of our experiences, ethics, morals, and personal beliefs. Sex on the first date can have long lasting physical effects especially medical ones. For many women sex is mostly a mental experience. Sex the first time, is usually awkward, no less on the first date. Some can be casual about it but frequently the negative impact on self esteem for a moments self indulgence in passion can have long term effects. To me sex is a special gift, for sex to be totally enjoyed you must have total trust and surrender of that trust. How do you learn to trust someone that much on a first date. For those that can treat sex as though it were just a biological pleasure this must be good. But like I said my personal feeling is that I would like sooooo much more. I just don't seem to be prepared to have both sex for the first and last time on just one date | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/16/2009 7:37:12 PM | | The point is that I(many others) would rather not have sex with someone that is just not that interested. Maturbation would be more gratifying than having sex with someone that is just not that interested. At least with mastubation you don't have to worry about AIDS HIV,HPV, Chlamidia, Syphlis, Gonorrhea, and a plethora of sexually or blood and body fluid pathogens. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/16/2009 8:00:00 PM | After some serious thought there are several components to a commited relationship.
I believe that sex is most gratifying in a commited relationship.
One component is for the partners to PROFESS their relationship...both should be comfortable for both of their family and friends to be aware of their relationship and that they are commited to each other.
The second component is for the partners to PROVIDE for each other.
That means financially,physically, and emotionally in meeting each others needs.
The third component is to PROTECT each other.
They should be willing to protect each other, physically, emotionally, and financially.
Sexuality goes beyond the ability to create new people (reproduction).
Sexuality continues beyond ones reproductive years.
Ones sexuality and sexual desires are very different from their sexual activity.
I could be a very sexual person, with a more than healthy sexual appetite, and still have been abstinant for years. I think it has to do with Free Choice, and ones ability to choose to have self control over ones sexual desires.My choice not to have sex right away in a relationship does not mean I am playing games or a cold fish. Rather that I have the right to free choice to have self control, and be selective about whom I am going to be physically intimate with | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:46:37 AM | m church-
Are you aware there isn't an accurate test for HPV? Are you aware one and 5 people have herpes, I would bet if you've had more than a couple partners you've been exposed? Are you aware a person with HIV and Hep B can have viral loads so low it's undetectable and will not show up in any test? BTW, do you know how contagious TB is? Do you were a mask in public? How about MRSA? Do you wear gloves everywhere outside your house? Geez, next time you get a pedicure you could lose a foot!!! Knowledge is everything...so, while you lying next to that special someone (after she's been tested for std's of course..) you need to bring out the MERK manual and go through every possible from head to toe and take notes because you just might catch something allowing her into your house! | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/17/2009 9:09:28 AM |
Are you aware there isn't an accurate test for HPV?
Are you aware that there is....?
An HPV DNA test called Hybrid Capture II (HCII) allows doctors to study the DNA content of the cells and to find abnormalities that lead to cancer. The test is about 95 per cent accurate when it comes to finding high-risk strains of HPV.
Are you aware one and 5 people have herpes
Actually, the stat is the 1 in 5 have HAD herpes.... not that 1 in 5 do have it... There is no cure, but your body's immune system can suppress it....
Your stats on Herpes are well known. Almost all of us have been exposed to Herpes when we got Chicken Pox as a kid... however, there are different strains of viruses... some better or worse.... like the common staph infection is in one form the deadyl flesh-eating disease....
Since a condom won't protect you, then testing seems to be the best bet... I have been tested for it. I don't have it. But then, I've never relied on a condom to protect me from it either....My partner is clean also, her testing was also very thorough....
Are you aware a person with HIV and Hep B can have viral loads so low it's undetectable and will not show up in any test?
Yes, I am aware... It's what they call the incubation period... I have had dealing with people with both of those afflictions... One friend developed Hep B after a sex session with an IV drug user (she didn't know he used any drugs!). Another person has HIV and has left the country for Brazil... (apparently the meds are free there if you have HIV and the stigma is low....) also, he skipped the country in case of legal issues because he had unprotected sex with a few women while he was infected...
That's why I belive in testing 3 months after the last time a person has sex, and again 3 months later to be sure....
BTW, do you know how contagious TB is?
Actually, I do. I spent part of my life in europe. As a result, my TB innoculation showed a result consistent with me being exposed to TB when young....
Do you were a mask in public? How about MRSA? In neither of these cases am I in a high-risk of exposure group....
Geez, next time you get a pedicure you could lose a foot Honestly, never had a pedicure...
Knowledge may not be everything, but it's a lot better than denial.... | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:45:36 AM | | Hey - I've quit going on guilt trips about this one. I try to refrain from this happening but I'm only human and I enjoy it - so, it happens. I don't regret it because those connections were just extremely powerful at that particular moment in time. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:38:02 PM | | Wow Abelian , that was fantastic! I completely agree with you. Not being a certified counselor I can get away with saying this: If you are in this type of relationship do yourself a favor and leave. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/21/2009 6:02:27 PM | My partner is clean also, her testing was also very thorough.... Maybe I missed something, but seems if your partner was well tested, you waited 3 months since her last hiv test, you didn't have sex on the first date.
1 in 4 women have herpes. There is no cure. Women can have it and show no symptoms and still give it to their partner with ever knowing she has it. Blood testing when there is an outbreak is about the only way to know for sure. It is my understanding that a negative test can show when there isn't an outbreak. Some people can not take the medication to help suppress the ulcers. It can be a life time of misery. Of course condoms don't protect you fully from this. As others have said, most people don't kiss with condoms on their mouths and you can get type 1 this way.
Men are getting throat and mouth cancer from HPV. It is my understanding that only high-risk strains of HPV are being detected, that means that most are not detected and men are not regularly being tested.
I don't know how in the world anyone asks someone on a first date about testing and knows them well enough to ask. I don't know how you can have true feelings for a person you met that day, come on, you aren't doing something intimate because you really care about that person. It is the closest two people can get and if you haven't been with them long enough to be tested, chances are you haven't been with them long enough to have true feelings to share such an experience. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:10:20 PM | | I was really into this guy I went out with, we hit it off, enjoyed the time we spent together. Went out the next day, and ended up doing having sex, although it wasn't planned it just felt right. Needless to say we talked about seeing each other agian then when I went to send him an email on the website found his profile had been deleted. I by no means regret what I did, just don't understand his thinking. I have one friend telling me he may not want to see me agian and another saying he has deleted it because he found the one he wants, yet I haven't heard from him and he does have my number. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:19:38 AM | | It is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. If that's what you want, good luck to you. I for one don't want that. Well, honestly, that's exactly what I want. With every woman in the room at any given time, to boot. More than that, I want a relationship. I'd give up the memory of any woman I ever had sex with, for just one keeper. I want a woman that I can trust to not sleep with whoever. If she sleeps with me on the first date, how can I truly trust her when I'm not around? How can she trust me? Not having sex right off the bat shows self control. Yes, it would be total flattery if the woman I love couldn't keep her hands off of me. I'd be happy as a lark. On a first date, not so much. Acting that way on a first date would make me think that I couldn't trust her, in the long run. If I acted the same way, I could only surmise that I'd give her the same impression. Once upon a time, sex on the first date was the paradigm. I did actually have a few longish relationships that started that way. I also had a few that didn't, which had very little spark. Not to say I never had a relationship that started slow and never got hot. I think that's the ideal path. Taking it slower makes the physical part much more intense and personal than you could ever hope to achieve on the first night, or first month for that matter. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:26:23 AM |
Maybe I missed something, but seems if your partner was well tested, you waited 3 months since her last hiv test, you didn't have sex on the first date.
That's correct. We did wait until we had both been tested. Neither of us trusted condoms. A few years before, she had twice previously, acquired a couple of STD's despite using condoms and didn't want a repeat performance. She and I discussed all of this prior to getting between the sheets and we both were honest with each other. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 5/17/2009 8:48:01 PM | Don't you think love has to be there before you jump bones? Common people. I just had a chance to jump the bones with a guy I just met today. But I feel that I should love him at first before I jump his bones. We somewhat ended it badly. He got mad at me and said bye. I guess he was not worth it. I am 36 years old. I just got out of a 15 year marriage, I am not going to make that mistake again.  | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:27:01 PM | now on the real people can have sex with whom they want an when they want as long as both parties have legally agreed verbally or by contract included verbal,,physical or by written an ect ect ect,,an even then things can still be broken..
but personally candie i think he was only mad because you didn't give up the P.U.S.S.Y when he wanted an demanded it..
i wasn't aware that women was on a time schedual..for anything.in life..
but best belive had you came at him wit the play me before you play me deal, he would have tripped all over himself an overs with the bit of how gold diggin an selfish an shallow an what a self centered b i t c h you was.
that's when you could have thrown at him aye takes one to know one Baby. | |
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| Why is sex on the first date such a big deal?
Posted: 5/18/2009 11:38:09 AM | People seem to make such big deals about first date sex. If the guy/girl doesn't want to on the first date is that such a bad thing? If it is to the individual, then that person needs to seek out someone who is of the same mindset.
Sex has become too important and has become way too overrated. If you are not getting any something is wrong. If he wants you right away he is a player. If she gives it up fast she is easy. Come on people. | |
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