| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/4/2008 11:29:06 PM | I"ve been ripped on because I could not pop them little boys off before. I been ripped becaue I popped em to quick too. I've beem ripped because I couldn't get it up to pop em too. Got my ass chewed up real good and put out of the sack because of it. Talk about tearing up a young man but it will. But I didn't get mad at the woman because of it. I just went on and found another woman. Then the ripper would always come back around and ask me what was wrong. Was it her. The explanation would have to be it was just life that night. I was asked to forgive and try again but it was not exciting at all and justs was not good. Now if she had of been pleasant about it then the dissatisfaction might not have been there and who know what it might have led to. But the resentment was still there and ruined what ever it could have amounted to. So that getting shot out of the sack because of things like that happens to every body. It did me so I kind of know how you feel OP. But you can get over it. The next dude you take up with might not ever be that way with you. He might get you off every time and then some......Woudn't that be a good one to have around now.    | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 12:07:32 AM | I'm curious....you don't mention how long you had been seeing each other before "breaking new ground" in bed. Just wondering how much time and emotion was invested prior to his shocking news.
I agree that is a dumb reason for breaking it off....in fact, too dumb. Sounds to me like he may have been working his way up to the conquest with the "hit it and quit it" concept in mind all along...then came up with whatever excuse to break it off that would (in his mind) remove blame from him or eliminate any suspicion of him having had ulterior motives. It's just a thought....I could be wrong, but either way, the guy is obviously a big poopy-head. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 1:01:10 AM |
'm not surprised a guy would do this.....
This whole pressure to come thing....I'm freaking sick of it. Sick of the big deal guys make of it, sick of the bragging they do about their exes who could come if they just looked at them (yah right), sick of the bragging some guys do on these forums about what experts they are (making us sound like machines with dials and buttons instead of feeling, real human beings), and then how some women on these forums will chime in bragging how easily THEY come every single time (yah right).......ARGH SICK of it.
I'm sorry this happened to you OP!
OH forgot to answer your question OP: Yes I have come across this. A few months ago I dated someone who actually would get angry at me for having some difficulty arriving with him; he'd actually get mad and stomp off, leaving me laying there feeling like a piece of tossed garbage, crying.....needless to say, the experiences with him have messed with my head pretty badly.
I can so relate to this!
If someone did that crap to me, that would be THE LAST time they would see me ever!
Real life isn't a porno movie.
And guys wonder why girls fake orgasms!
Another annoying thing is when you know you just aren't going to cum. You're tired or distracted or whatever and you know you just aren't and the guys keeps trying and trying to the point where you are so annoyed at him, you just want him to go away. It is almost like some ego thing to force you to do it so he can prove he is good enough. Yuck! That is when you fake it so he'll just leave you alone.
Besides, men don't seem to get that some women don't need to O every time and we enjoy the sensations and the closeness and all that.
I also get annoyed at how some women lie how quick they can O. There seems to be a whole bevy who can cum in less than a minute. I'm just getting warmed up and it certainly takes longer than a minute. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:29:15 AM | | dont worry, eventually youll meet a guy who doesnt care if u cum at all. keep ya head up! | |
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Ninki
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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:54:09 AM |
This whole pressure to come thing....I'm freaking sick of it. Sick of the big deal guys make of it...
Hear, hear! As to the OP's statement: OMG! Just when I thought I'd heard it all! This guy was an a$$hole! I almost never orgasm when with a partner. Thank god, this never happened to me, a guy dumping me because I didn't come or fake it for him to stroke his ego.
N. | |
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Ninki
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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:57:55 AM |
Another annoying thing is when you know you just aren't going to cum. You're tired or distracted or whatever and you know you just aren't and the guys keeps trying and trying to the point where you are so annoyed at him, you just want him to go away. It is almost like some ego thing to force you to do it so he can prove he is good enough. Yuck! That is when you fake it so he'll just leave you alone.
No, I wouldn't fake it, I'd just tell him to *Stop already! It's not going to happen this time! Okay??!!* and pull away and get washed up, dressed and leave.
N. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:16:36 AM | quote: Another annoying thing is when you know you just aren't going to cum. You're tired or distracted or whatever and you know you just aren't and the guys keeps trying and trying to the point where you are so annoyed at him, you just want him to go away. It is almost like some ego thing to force you to do it so he can prove he is good enough. Yuck! That is when you fake it so he'll just leave you alone.
That would be your choice in men that is the problem.....and a lack of communication.
and once again.....these women that insist other women can't cum easily or quickly.....
Just who the hell are you to tell me what my body can or cannot do?
Have you never been so worked up sexually.....that you cum as soon as your man penetrates you? If not.....than that is just too damn bad......but it doesn't make it impossible......Nor....does it mean we fake it.
Talk about Aaaaaargh...... | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:39:26 AM | I must have missed the "Big Book of Rules for Orgasms" at my local library. How totally dim I must be on the subject of sex, intimacy, orgasms, etc...
Here I was thinking that every time was different, sometimes she can't, sometimes she can right away, sometimes she can many times. Same for the boy. I thought each sexual encounter varied. Maybe that's why I like to do it more than once with my partner, always surprised and never predictable. If it was the same each time, why bother to do it at all?
As far as the OP, guy was a class A douche bag. Wash your hands of it. Why did he say what he said? Who knows? Why did he do what he did? Same answer.
SOME guys are not worth it, SOME women are not worth it. But there are many, many women and men who are worth it, you just have to pull a few weeds to get the flowers to bloom.
Good luck to ya. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:48:04 AM | | Consider yourself lucky that you got rid of such moron that is blaming his sexual hung ups on you. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 2:13:49 AM |
and once again.....these women that insist other women can't cum easily or quickly.....
Just who the hell are you to tell me what my body can or cannot do?
Have you never been so worked up sexually.....that you cum as soon as your man penetrates you? If not.....than that is just too damn bad......but it doesn't make it impossible......Nor....does it mean we fake it.
Talk about Aaaaaargh......
Wow what is all that anger about?
Has it been awhile or something?  | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 2:45:02 AM | Well I have to add to this....what IS all this pressure for the lady to cum anyway!!!
Whilst I appreciate the good intentions behind the comments, those of you who are saying you'd try all the harder next time are not doing it for me....lol
Orgasm does come from the mind and pressure to deliver just short circuits the whole system for me. Tips me into ...OMG will I -won't I? 
and before anyone writes asking where MY vibrator is glued to....lol..... yes I do cum ..by myself or with a guy's help.....and I plan for it to be so every time but ...hell... doees it really matter?
Bella | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 2:48:50 AM | jude I think you should be glad you lost him sooner than later..............sounds like a real loser  | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 3:44:05 AM | I'm glad this has never happened to me otherwise I'd get dumped all the time because I rarely have an orgasm during sex lol. I have had girls get upset before because they thought it was their fault or something but I've never been dumped over it.
He sounds like a tool. Don't let him waste your time. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 4:40:29 AM | | He just has major ego problems, and dumping you was just a sign of his insecurity. Just for fun, you should have told him that the other women he had slept with were most likely faking it, if his performance with you was any indication. LOL! | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 7:06:04 AM | Hi OP,
This guy is a first rate tool. I'm sorry he treated you like crap but be grateful you didn't waste more time with this jerk. May I ask: did you tell him upfront that you don't always orgasm? As I've gotten older, it takes more time and its darn near impossible the first time with someone new so I've told the guy upfront that it may not happen - NOT as a challenge for him to make me cum but so he doesn't get that disappointed look on his face when I've said "no" if he asked me if I did.
That leads me to another post here:
Another annoying thing is when you know you just aren't going to cum. You're tired or distracted or whatever and you know you just aren't and the guys keeps trying and trying to the point where you are so annoyed at him, you just want him to go away. It is almost like some ego thing to force you to do it so he can prove he is good enough. Yuck! That is when you fake it so he'll just leave you alone.
It amazes me when I know I'm not going to cum and I tell the guy about this but, as I stated above, the guy looks like there's something wrong with me as "This has never happened to me before - women ALWAYS cum with me." Hey, that's great but that's extra pressure I don't want or need. I just wish that some - notice I said SOME - men would accept this instead of taking it as a blow to their ego. If I'm okay with it, why should there be a problem?
There are some - notice I said SOME - women who do fake it and do so often. This is not only a disservice to the men they've been with but to the other women who come (or couldn't come) after them. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:05:28 AM |
Another annoying thing is when you know you just aren't going to cum. You're tired or distracted or whatever and you know you just aren't and the guys keeps trying and trying to the point where you are so annoyed at him, you just want him to go away. It is almost like some ego thing to force you to do it so he can prove he is good enough. Yuck! That is when you fake it so he'll just leave you alone.
Uh, in your complaining you didnt say that you TOLD him you werent going to cum and that it was OK for him to stop. So if you havent communicated to him, how can you get annoyed? How can you get mad at a guy that is trying hard to give you pleasure?? Dont you already bash men that get off and roll over or leave without caring about your pleasure? So which do you want??
Communication is the key. If sometimes you wont cum and its OK with you, then you need to tell him that. And I think that general conversation is best to have OUTSIDE of the sexual experience. A good sex life is about give and take - sometimes you feel like giving other times its more taking. And a nice variety and balance makes it work for everyone. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:05:29 AM | I'm another who feels this "pressure to cum" to be annoying. I don't care how talented your fingers/mouth/brain is, sometimes it just ain't gonna happen or sometimes I don't even want it to happen - and I want that respected and understood. If the whole point of the man's boasting about how he'll "make me cum" is supposed to let me know that he cares about my pleasure, great .. but say that instead. Promising me more orgasms per minute/hour/day/whatever merely makes me yawn and go "next!" I just don't think it's the guy's "job" to make me cum; it's his "job" to enjoy sex with me, and let me enjoy sex with him, regardless of who cums or how many times.
OP: The guy was rude and ignorant. Should send him a thank you note for not remaining in your life, and maybe a manual on interpersonal relationships. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:27:02 AM | I'm not surprised a guy would do this.....
This whole pressure to come thing....I'm freaking sick of it. Sick of the big deal guys make of it, sick of the bragging they do about their exes who could come if they just looked at them (yah right), sick of the bragging some guys do on these forums about what experts they are (making us sound like machines with dials and buttons instead of feeling, real human beings), and then how some women on these forums will chime in bragging how easily THEY come every single time (yah right).......ARGH SICK of it.
I'm sorry this happened to you OP!
OH forgot to answer your question OP: Yes I have come across this. A few months ago I dated someone who actually would get angry at me for having some difficulty arriving with him; he'd actually get mad and stomp off, leaving me laying there feeling like a piece of tossed garbage, crying.....needless to say, the experiences with him have messed with my head pretty badly.
In these forums there is an amazing amount of people that have phenomenal sex lives according to them; all the power to them and whatnot. Their entitled to it and to begrudge them for it is just a waste of your energy. Personally I'm not inclined to believe everything I read too if ya know what I mean; this is a forum where any user can have an unsurmountable amount of anonymity.
IN ANY CASE, I'm sorry to hear you had someone mistreat you in such an intimate way; and I hope that you're able to work through the emotional pain.
I'm with fooliam and wcms in this; I want to enjoy my sex with whomever I'm having it with. If that means multiple orgasms, fabulous! If it means I just want to snuggle a bit and enjoy the company and maybe just please him for a while; for heaven's sakes, let me do that! Is it so hard to believe that there is more to sex then just orgasms? Although those Os are a big part of it, they're not the only part. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 10:39:39 AM | Lelathecat, Ninki, Bellissima, wcms, foolliam, and softlily......(sorry if I left anyone out)
Thank you you beautiful sweeties for understanding what I was saying!!!!!! I love you all and could  each of you.
It is so nice to hear people who understand what I was talking about.....some of your words resonated with me so deeply; it helps to know I'm not alone in what I've experienced.
I adore men, but sometimes there's misunderstandings and pressure with the orgasm thing.
And yes, there is unbelievable amounts of bragging about prowess on these forums and it doesn't help.
PS: NORFOLKJUDE - OP:
I am really sorry if I've contributed to jacking of your thread....I tried to message you but didn't meet the requirements.....this thing where I expressed my anger over what happened to you in general kinda got out of hand...sorry sweetie. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 11:29:19 AM | I had a boyfriend once who came first and began using fingers to help me get there as well, a -minute- into it he gave up, said 'I'm sorry, I'm too tired' and ROLLED OVER.
He told me to finish myself and then turned his back to me, the humiliation.
Sleep in my bed? I don't think so. I threw his a** out of my apartment, 3am, in the snow.
You've finished, that's great. I'm one of those women who, when I'm not in the mood will take care of your needs -anyway-. Don't leave me hanging.
Heh, sorry about the rant Jude, your story reminds me of mine.
He's an IDIOT. Next time a man has no respect for -your- needs, you kick his a** to the curb honey. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 4:54:04 PM |
and once again.....these women that insist other women can't cum easily or quickly.....
Just who the hell are you to tell me what my body can or cannot do?
Have you never been so worked up sexually.....that you cum as soon as your man penetrates you? If not.....than that is just too damn bad......but it doesn't make it impossible......Nor....does it mean we fake it.
Talk about Aaaaaargh......
Wow what is all that anger about?
Has it been awhile or something?
:lmao: you were the one with your panties in a bunch!! is that the only sex you're getting?
the anger is frustration......You...and other women.....telling me/us what my/our bodies are capable of doing. and then having the nerve to say I/We are faking it.
Read what u said in your little rant....and then tell me how it is you know me better than I do.
and No sweetie....it's not been awhile....(thank god!)....I have a wonderful sexual relationship in my life...with a man that thoroughly enjoys the fact that sometimes I cum so quick he calls me "Trigger"....
I think there is a huge misconception in peoples take on alot of our comments here.
When we women are discussing what our bodies are capable of.....we don't literally mean everytime....I don't have multiple orgasms every time....I don't cum quickly everytime.....but I damn sure am capable of it! | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 5:19:44 PM | | Thats HIS problem and not yours. If you know you don't cum often but still enjoy sex I say have fun!!!! With someone else of course. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:59:35 PM | | Hey, so long as I please you and I last a long time, I am okay if you don't if you're okay with it. I know I am capable and we can communicate and get it right but I would never dump anyone for that. Good riddance to him. | |
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| Dumped cos I didnt cum!!
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:10:16 AM | dont worry, eventually youll meet a guy who doesnt care if u cum at all. keep ya head up!
LOL... eventually you will meet... - what woman hasn't met at least one?
Hey, so long as I please you and I last a long time, I am okay if you don't if you're okay with it. I know I am capable and we can communicate and get it right ...
Oh, be still my aching, quivering, beating.... heart. A man of my dreams.... I don't usually cum, but if it feels good trying - mmm, I'm okay, you're okay. Me love you long time sailor... | |
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