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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 251 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/29/2008 3:26:39 PM | "And not every prostitute is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman either."
Please point out where I said they were?
"Thinking somehow that prostitutes have a heart of Gold and all the crap is about as believable as the Oil companies are not trying to make a profit and that politicians are honest. "
I don't think any prostitute or escort has a "heart of gold" I simply believe prostitutes are real people who can think for themselves.
"Some prostitutes are turning tricks from about 1opm to 5Am. That's 7 hours, all she's gotta do is blow 2 guys an hour and she's done 14 guys!"
Yes "some" prostitutes the type that work street corners and don't use protection. the type most honest johns would want nothing to do with.
"I'm sure the majority of escorts ARE clean. Because once they find out they've got something they hopefully stop escorting."
When they were escorting they weren't clean? and if they caught something and stopped escorting then they are clean? What kind of warped logic is that?
"Also, there are not that many cases of HIV among women to begin with in Toronto. It's about 500 new cases a year and 80% of them are going to be males. So basically Toronto women with HIV are pretty scarce to begin with. "
I'm still here, and I'm still clean
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:04:34 AM |
. the type most honest johns would want nothing to do with.
Hate to point it out to you mate. A 'john" is a term for a guy who ****s a prostitute. In essence a criminal. So "honest John" is an oxymoron.
When they were escorting they weren't clean? and if they caught something and stopped escorting then they are clean? What kind of warped logic is that?
Even I got what he ment. He was saying that an escort works UNTIL she knows she has a disease. Then she quits. Therefore, escorts are all clean, former escorts may not be.
I simply believe prostitutes are real people who can think for themselves.
I notice you use the word 'simply in front of believe. In your case that seems appropriate. Most pros' are not thinking for themselves. They are used, abused drugged or under control. The few that aren't, are working for themselves, and are hard ****ing ****es you don't want to mess with. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:51:55 AM | | The thing is where is she today!! Past is past, but if you have a problem with it then you are in the wrong place. The proper way to go is to marry a virgin then there is no argument. How can you propose to a female over the telephone!!!! I think you are a doomed duck, to even think this will work, knowing the intamicies of her life. When you get a new girlfriend do you ask if she has ever had sex. There is something wrong with the story line sorry ,..... | |
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D48763
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Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 255 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:43:59 AM | I once was asked by a lady if I had anything against her as she once worked as a "stripper",,,my repsonce was does she have anthing against law enforcement offers,,,the responce,,,no,,,just as mine,,,,everyone has a past,,,anyone who has to accept or seek a reason about someones past is self centered,,,judgemental,,,so she was an escot,,,how many woman have you been with??? if you had to get emer counseling for learning about her past,,,she is better without you,,,as she was honest and upfront,,,your the one who cannot handle honesty,,,and honesty has to be mutaly appreaciated,respected,,,let me say this,,,there is no doubt you and her shared some beautiful intimate experiences,,,,she spun your wheels,,,thats why with all your emer counseling you can not walk away,,,she should walk away from you,,,as other women I hope you dated must have been pretty boring,,,as you did not need counseling than,,,yet I noticed you did not mention that or how they became experienced,,,
Shes crying as she cares,,,your crying because you cannot handle it,,,the pain goes away when you "man up" accept her for who she is now,,,and tomorrow,,,as she accepted you without having to "measure or judge yor prior activites",,,deal with today,and tomorrows,,,,,,she was more open and honest than you are,,,the best thing is you look her in the eyes,and tell her how your heart feels right now and get on with life,,and alllow her to close that door,,,deal with today and tomorrows as the very last thing you want to do is pressure by you to not keep being just as open and hoest as you just are not man enough and your one sided ,self centered look at her past,,when you have one as well,,,
Look at it this way,,,if you cheated on her would she be understanding,,,Yes,,,because she is more emotional secure inwho she is,,,what if she told you she had cancer,,,,,,you cannot change that either,,,man up,,,shes counting still on you to do so,,or she would have walked away by now,,,
Have a great day,,,Dave:) | |
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D48763
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Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 258 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 7:55:04 AM | Yes,,ones past is always the past,,,just think how such a person would do around past friends or exspouses,,,and thier children,,,there is no doubt it is a very insecrure person who would judge a person on thier past,,,or even the circumstances surrounding such,,,the bottom line is if a person is not emotional stable to deal with honesty,,than one does not appreaciate the great courage she usd to tell him,,,she misjudged him,,,as it sounds like hes one of those that is the "mighty than tho type",,,with a blend of he would like to pretend he's "pure",,,lol,,,you will notice he seems to have forgotten his past ,,,:),,,typical self centered,,,it is she who is much too good for him,,,and his self pity,,as all of his remarks is how he cannot handle "her past",,he did not even think of her "crying" as he " misplaced trust and maturity to " accept her for who she is,,,than,now and into any future,,,she should smile and walk away,,,if one seeks open honesty,one should appreaciate and honor all of it,,not just the parts they self centered seek,,,but the whole package,,,
Have a great day,,,Dave:) | |
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D48763
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Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 259 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:07:14 AM | As for any "woman who sells herself",,what about a man who waves money,,or toys,,,or many other material things to impress a lady,,,is not the man "selling him self???",,,yet being a phoney,,,how many protray one thing only to have it discovered they are exacly less,,,is that not selling oneself,,,I think any atonement should be his,,,not hers,,,her mature trusting honesty and great courage to even tell him sets her well above his self whining ,self pity party,,,she made only one mistake,,,she trusted him with a very private matter,,and anyone who knows who he dated now will know about her past,,,from his or her pics on line,,,if he is not man enough to deal with such a private matter and have to post it on the world wide web,,,there is always 3 sides to every story,,,
A. His side,
B.Her side.
C.The facts,,,
Looking at it just based on his side,,,he rather seek self pity here than maturity with her,,he broke a scared trust,,her trust to keep the issue private,,,yet I get the idea very clearly with not only the wording ofhis posting ,,but the meaning,,,seems like his reaction and her experience and maturity,,,she dumped him,,,which is better for her,,,as there are alot of men who could appreaciate her deep honesty and trust,,,
the very tone of him wanting to subject her past to scorn will not work with me,,,as most I think would read closely his posting,,,its him who I distrust,,,NOT her,,whatever is shared in any aspect of a relationship must be protected from whatever personal information is learned,,,only a bitter,dumped heart would do as he is,,,
Have a great day,,,Dave:) | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:49:24 AM | | I think its about time you people that are getting on the Op should use your head for something other than a hat rack, Ok she got her self thur school escorting and you thiknthis guy is shallow but the truth is you people are shallow. hey they are walking down the street and low and behold thier is one of her johns and he reconizes her. Sure the past is the past but people need to think what will happen at a later date and if they want something like this to pop up. So this jonh reconizes her and ask her if she is free tonite how do you think that make him feel. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:24:03 AM | Past is past for sure..before we start saying that his shallow or that she gonna do it again..we have to recognize that she decided to tell him the truth and I'm sure she's not your first woman you have been with...if you decide to be with her you are going to need to have a serious talk with her so that in the future when you're mad at something she did you won't point out her past because you know it now. She did it for school and as many have pointed out many cultures prostitution its something they accept, like in Thailand, Cambodia,some years ago young girls where being forced to prostitution because of poverty.In one way or the other we all sleep with many partners, paid or not we do it for different reason so i don't think she have to be judged for her past. Porn stars are worshiped and even they get settled at one point so i don't see why her she can't have a fresh start in life.
But its a decision left to you | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 11:01:22 AM | Liars,cheats,creeps,pigs and uhh U DONT NEED to say anything about the women
mzsomebody...you can't say that all of us are that bad.I know a lot of woman and man keep unsolved issues with their past and judge everyone they see or meet.Untreated victims of any kind of abuse are often emotionally unstable and harbor lots of inner pain, which manifests itself in their romantic lives and makes them see the opposite sex as liar, cheater, without trying to understand that was just one single person not the rest of men or women. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:04:28 PM | These forums are frightening. So easy to judge from the chair in front of your computer, eh? So many therapists.....
Dude, YOU need to get over HER sexual history??? Pretty selfish son. You claim to love this girl? Get her the help she needs and stand by her while she gets it or move on. Do you think someone just has tea and toast and decides to become an escort? There's something very very deeply hurt about this woman and that's what's behind that choice believe me. Underneath it all, I sense you're looking for a way out.
Plenty of people on plenty of fish (don't you just love how that rolls off the tongue) have advised you to do just that. Get out. I say, it's too bad you're such a prude. She's been with men?? Sheeeit!!! Um in the year 2008 that's a bit of a no brainer. While we're on the topic it was a no brainer in 1955 too. She got paid by them? So f*cking what.
Oh and contrary to what some here have said, there are many many many worse professions one might take on in tough times than prostitute. Oil tanker pilot? Yeah!! I bet they have their own room in heck. Or um say, the Enron guys for example. Hell, they screwed people in ways they'll never recover from. Pun intended.
Let her go or get the help YOU need to support her while she gets hers.
Don't hate the playa, hate the game, right? | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/1/2008 10:13:49 AM | Are you attracted to her physically?.........check
Are you attracted to her intellectually?....check
Is she honest with you?.............................check
Are your values aligned?..........................uh oh
There is a lot to say for honesty, but it isn’t the only deciding factor in a relationship. I think the truth of the situation is that you fell in a love a person whose values were comparable to your own. It happens in all relationships. Everyone has their own image of their partner but the truth is you can never fully know another person. This revelation altered your image of her and you have found her to be less appealing. The vast majority of the population would have the same hang-up, so don’t feel bad when the more vocal posters claim your values are somehow “wrong.” The fact that it is acceptable in other cultures or that it “it’s 2008” (whoop-de-f*cking-doo) is irrelevant.
The real problem lies in reconciling your values and hers, which is why you are here. I recommend that you try to maintain the relationship for at least a few months. If your feelings don’t subside, break it off. Continue talking about the issue with her and see a therapist to try to change your perception of the issue. That being said, you have to decide for yourself if it is something you can get over. No extremist statement is going to magically make things easier on you or her. Good luck. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/1/2008 11:36:55 AM |
Guys have a hard enough time dealing with the thought of men, in the past, getting dirty with their GF. Much less a woman who would **** ANYONE for a couple hundred bucks. Would you be ok if your BF told you he used to be a male escort? Come on.
Dont paint all men with the same brush...... YOU have a hard time dealing with the past........and if all men have that problem....that is THEIR insecurity.......
If a woman offered you 150.00 bucks to screw her......I am sure you would take it! | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:36:03 PM |
Dont paint all men with the same brush...... YOU have a hard time dealing with the past........and if all men have that problem....that is THEIR insecurity.......
Everyone has insecurities, I don't know many guys who like to hear their woman talk about ****ing past boyfriends. Those same guys would be sickened to hear that their gf was also a prostitute. I'm not saying she's a bad person, I'm simply saying that MOST guys would be freaked out by it, just like the OP is.
If a woman offered you 150.00 bucks to screw her......I am sure you would take it!
For arguments sake, let's say I would. I would expect that any GF I had would probably be disgusted by that if I told her about it. I'm guessing the point of your statement is to illustrate that maybe I am no better than the female escort in question? I certainly don't feel superior to her. I'm guessing she did what she felt was right at the time, and is dealing with the fallout of that decision. It still doesn't mean that I would welcome her revelation with open arms. The fact remains that most guys would feel just like the OP, and people telling him to just forget about it have taken zero effort to put themselves in his shoes.
crazeegyrl, tell me you wouldn't be upset if your BF revealed he was a male prostitute. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/1/2008 6:01:38 PM | I would always wonder if she softened the blow by proclaiming herself an escort as opposed to a hooker. A high class call girl sounds a lot better than someone walking the streets and turning a dozen tricks a day.
If it was legal in her country she'd be paying taxes like everyone else. So even at $1000 a throw how many would you have to turn a year to pay for the average college education and complete advanced degrees by her mid-twenties? Under grad and grad school will run the average student about 100k. She'd need to turn at least 60 a year to pay for school, living expenses and survive after taxes. Earning 60k a year she would certainly not qualify for grants or scholarships. The few socialized countries where it is legal and monitered have huge income tax rates. The story gets less plausible the more math you do. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/1/2008 6:35:55 PM | Hi carolann, it would be best if you tried to refrain from reading too much inbetween the lines. Obviously, she is the one that knows the most about the situation, and I am the next. And given what I know, and there is plenty I am not revealing on this board for the sake of privacy. I know if you knew a more complete picture, your viewpoint would probably change somewhat. But it's not my goal to change anyone's opinion. But I would like to try to put a halt to the endless speculation. (not just you, but lots of people)
She had a choice, she knows it, and for a variety of reasons (some of which I've talked about, and some of which I have not) she choose to do this line of work. Based all of the factors affecting her at the time, which I am not privy to totally disclose, she made a tough decision that was not black and white, but rather what I would describe as "51-49", with neither really being a good outcome. In retrospect, did she make the wrong choice? Yes, she says she did. And yes, I say she did too. But it doesn't change that the choice was made and now has past. I recognize that, and my initial post here was to ask for help in trying to get over that past.
Now, a lot of the discussion that has been incited about this thread has come from some of the wording I have used, as well as myself getting emotional over her past actions and people's responses. Let's not get into semantics about hooker vs. escort vs. prostitute. They all end up doing the same thing, and escort is my word, not hers. I'm sorry there's really no more specific details I can talk about, as to prevent people from narrowing down our identities. | |
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