| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:55:24 AM |
The key word here is "History"...now that you know about her past, try to be a strong, loving, yet "supportive" man in her present/future, if you truly love this person, move on, be happy & leave the past behind.
I really hate canned answers like this one. "If you truly love her." People can be in love and unhappy! Individuals can, and do, love people who are abusive, cheaters, liars, thieves, drug abusers and people whose values conflict with their own. All of these have the potential to cause pain. The fact that you love a person does not mean that the relationship will work out or that you should even continue trying to make it work out.
It seems to me that people who answer like this usually have either never been in the same situation or have a colorful past themselves. | |
|
| |
skidzz
|
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 301 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/8/2008 10:46:42 AM | | Mi friend, here is the long and short of you situation. 1st of all, she told you. Honesty regardless of the depth. 2nd, you cannot change the situation you can only manage it from here on. 3rd, it will never ever go away and will sometimes sneak up on you in the worst way but you must be a man and cope for the sake of integrity and support for "your woman now" Go for it loverboy, This angel will need a strong man for the rest of her life to help her cope with trials and tribulations in life. Remember, she must off believed in you to console. | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/8/2008 1:32:32 PM | well, do you love her? if she is the one, then who cares... you have her now, they dont... she was an object of lust to them and no more... it was a while ago... and i guess im stickin up for her cuz my childhood was shit, so maybe a little part of me would defend her choice just because i know what it is like to just need to take yourself out of the shitty situation no matter the cost... if she told you then thats brave... really commendable... dont lose her over the past... we all have shit we are not too proud of, right?  | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/8/2008 1:35:40 PM | ya it is very funny, but how could you be such a heartless prick and violate his openness? he is reaching out to us, on an adult website, and all you can do is be a ****ing prick and poke fun of it... grow up or get outta here... obviously you arent here to find someone special... you are here to make ppl feel like shit. | |
|
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:16:52 PM | i didnt read all the other postings in here to see if anyone has said this
but in saying that
in most cases .. those that have used their bodies in the sex trade have had serious child hood issues and never got the required counselling to help them over come the issues that stem from their past,
if you truely love her then you will get to know her and tell her that you be there for her regardless
it would also be suggested that you ask her if she has ever sought counselling for anything.
give her all the love and support that you have in you... it took alot for her to tell you of her past and that takes trust
respect her for that
hopefully this will help you look at things a little differently | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:57:05 AM | at the risk of being unpopular, I have to disagree with a lot of ppl.
I think this is one of the few things that I could not see past, also if the person had a criminal past (murderer, etc.). It would bother me to know end. I think there is some magic number (the number of partners a person has had) that is too many. Some number that makes them undateable. Is it 50? 100? 1,000? Hard to say, but it would bother me.
Not saying that you should dump or not dump. But I think this is the type of thing that will bother me down the road. Maybe even years to come | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/16/2008 12:20:15 AM | I can totally understand how hurt you are. I've been in a similar situation and I know how it feels. But what you have to do is look at what you have.
You have a woman who loves you. And one who is willing to come forth and be completely honest with you. Many people would have just covered that part of their past up.
I would suggest that you go together to see a couselor. You both love each other. I think this is something that you guys can work through together. | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/16/2008 2:09:19 AM |
I really hate canned answers like this one. "If you truly love her." People can be in love and unhappy! Individuals can, and do, love people who are abusive, cheaters, liars, thieves, drug abusers and people whose values conflict with their own. All of these have the potential to cause pain. The fact that you love a person does not mean that the relationship will work out or that you should even continue trying to make it work out.
It seems to me that people who answer like this usually have either never been in the same situation or have a colorful past themselves.
Exactly. Contrary to popular belief, love does NOT conquer all. | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:20:53 AM |
: It seems to me that people who answer like this usually have either never been in the same situation or have a colorful past themselves.
Exactly. Contrary to popular belief, love does NOT conquer all.
Love is a choice. If you choose to follow it, then you have to accept the other person and treat him/her with respect and consideration. The OP has to decide if he can accept that she has a past, if he chooses to continue on with her, then he will have to accept her past and move on. This woman got paid for performing a service. How many people have been promiscuous all their lives and expect their current partner to overlook that or accept that characteristic. Some people lie, cheat and treat others with disdain or actual cruelty--I find that more repulsive than the idea that this woman made her living at a career I don't happen to approve of.
Nutt | |
|
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 1/23/2009 8:37:41 AM | | Dude, she did not tell you until she had you locked in, fully committed to her emotionally knowing that its so difficult to walk away at that point. Women & Men do this all the time to each other and it is so wrong. It leaves you feeling used when you find out. It happened to me. I married her and we have now been divorced for 7 years. Look at it this way, how would you feel or what would you have done if she told you on the 2nd day you saw her?? My policy is to be up front early in a relationship about serious information like this. That is only fair game. She cheated your mind and robbed your emotions. Now you are stuck. She should have told you way way sooner. If I were you, I would give it much more time now before making a like decision to be with her. I got used and screwd out of some of my best years and now I have commitment phobia. Good luck. | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:08:25 PM | I am sure she wanted to tell you awhile back but wasn't sure how far this relationship would go. I do commend her for her coming clean. The past is the past. look at everything positive and be grateful. Some of us may never find what you both have. It is a head trip on her to have been with men she knows nothing about and maybe some even disgusted her. I have a couple friends that are escorts. One of which told a man she was dating of 3 weeks and they are still dating 8 months later. It works for them.
Just don't judge. I am sure we all have one dark secret. | |
|
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:59:19 PM | While I can not say with certainty that she told you her secret in confidence, I am sure she did not wish you to go online and tell the world about it.
You love this woman? Some advice might be in order my man, discretion is the better part of valour. What are you afraid of, that someone might think less of you if they found out? If so, why are you making that possibility more of a likelihood?
Just felt like injecting my worthless opinion into something that I believe you should work out with her in private, but what the heck do I know..... | |
|
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:41:28 PM | While I can not say with certainty that she told you her secret in confidence, I am sure she did not wish you to go online and tell the world about it.
You love this woman? Some advice might be in order my man, discretion is the better part of valour. What are you afraid of, that someone might think less of you if they found out? If so, why are you making that possibility more of a likelihood?
Just felt like injecting my worthless opinion into something that I believe you should work out with her in private, but what the heck do I know.....
 All of it very well said. You know plenty. | |
|
| |
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 4/24/2009 5:13:17 AM | She probably doesn't remember much of it or any of the sex. It's a non-issue.
People change and she isn't that person any more. It helped to make her the person today that you love. Forget about it. It has no more bearing on your relationship with her than if she told you that she broke her arm in the paat but now it's all healed up.
I just don't see an issue here.
can't turn a hoe into a housewife... Thanks for a laugh at the ignorant rednect comment of the day. | |
|
| |
| |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 5/31/2009 1:41:12 AM | Be greatful she's so loyal that she confessed, and that she's so in love with you that her senses were overwhelmed by childish 'overhonesty'. Most of all, be appreciative for all the great sex you've had with her and the fact that she knows her way around a 'rooster'... I know this sounds rough, but you've got the lady you love and a ***** between the sheets.
Let it go, and be greatful. Some people could even say that since she's had so many 'roosters', she's far less likely to want to go out and collect more later in life. Don't be upset that she's had alot more flings than you, women in general outscore guys on # of partners by 5 to 1 if moderately aggressive. If attractive, they can point to a guy somewhere in public and have him in the nearest hotel, on his dime, in 20 minutes for as long as they want. It's dirty and true.
Reality throws out the notion of purity, innocence and the 'knight in shining armor' stuff we gentlemen were raised to believe in, ironicly by our mothers who were trying to raise 'good boys' to be nice, while they were incidentally raising sissies who get eaten up by the predator chicks out there.
Let go of your ideals about purity, bed-count and just enjoy the reality of this:
YOU HAVE A WOMAN YOU LOVE, WHO LOVES YOU, BEING HONEST, AND SHE'S GOOD IN BED TOO! ENJOY! GET MARRIED AND LIVE!!!  | |
|
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 5/31/2009 4:22:00 AM | In any case, when she first told me, she said that I probably wouldn't love her anymore and wouldn't want to be with her anymore. I knocked down all of those arguments, but I did let her know how much it hurts me that she's been with so many guys now. I know it's some jealousy, and I know it's all in the past, but it still eats at me. I am getting much better, the first day I was totally shaking and had to call in for some emergency counseling to get myself calmed down. The first time in my life I have done that.
So, is this basically just a case of me needing to get past her sexual history?
Sigh....
I am sorry, but you are being a baby. This is an old thread, and I am curious as to where you are now. But if you are more concerned with the fact that she slept with alot of men, than the fact that she left that part out.
Then the problem is obviously with your own insecurity. Usually men with control issues have a problem with who their woman slept with in the past.
Never quite understood it. Well as a TEEN it made sense, but If I only knew then.....
At any rate, counseling is a good route to go. Most people are terrified of admitting things to themselves. And most of all, the average person is completely oblivious to the intricacies of why we do some of the things we do.
I could tear you down and break you apart (And just for fun mind you.) but because I am not official, you wouldn't listen. Hell most people never even listen to their therapist.
Step one: Take serious consideration, from unbiased third parties.
can't turn a hoe into a housewife...
This is actually true. Only if the girl enjoys this lifestyle.
Granted you made this comment out of your own hatred, idiocy, and insecurity.....(Why else would you demean a woman you haven't met you misogynist pig?)
Women who get caught up in this lifestyle are typically only concerned about money, not as a means, a stepping stone if you will, to move to their passion, (Be it art, be it music, be it whatever.) they are more concerned about the moment.
I've dated women with that mentality, who weren't in the sex industry.
You have too, you see them at the club passing out clymidia and herpes, like hot cakes.....
Only they aren't making money.
Also, it can sometimes be a comfort factor. Those ones that know they make more money with little effort, and allow it to not damage their mental state, and could care less about the worlds opinion, or shame or anything else, are in a most advantageous position.
It is a sad state of affairs that an attractive woman who can convince you to pay her rent, because she slept with you after a night out, is not considered a hoe, where as the one who sells her vag through some agency, uses protection, gets tested and is actually using the money to better herself is somehow worse.
And all this is limited by her level of attraction mind you.
Example:
Really Attractive girl:"Omg!! I dont know what I am gonna do I cant make rent!"
Ronny Desperation: "Ohh baby what is it! What do you need??! I can maybe help!
Really Attractive girl: "Well..*snffle It's $3000
Ronny Desperation: "Sheesh! Let me see what I can do.
Attractive women know at least 10 lame ass men who would desperately try to get that loot, because they dote over her.
Ladies, mathematically speaking, this is a potential $30,0000
Really Ugly Girl "Oh no!!! I don't know what I am gonna do?!? **weep **sob"
Ronny Desperation: What is it? **rolls eyes
Really Ugly Girl "My rent!!! I am short!!"
Ronny Desperation: "How much is it?"
Really Ugly Girl "$300."
Ronny Desperation: "How much do you have?"
Really Ugly Girl "$285...I just need a little more.."
Ronny Desperation: "Well what are you gonna do?"
Sad but true, this unfortunate world that Gaia permits.
I am slowly gaining more faith in humanity.
| |
|
Home
login 
this thread isn't about whether you can be in love and unhappy, nor is it about me or my past, like you...I gave "my" opinion like so many others on here regarding the OP's subject, get it? try sticking to the thread.
