Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 101 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:25:01 PM | "this girl is all about taking the easy way out. for her it was too hard to struggle like everyone else and wait tables, or bar tend. sorry, you can make sometimes 15 to 20 and hour waiting tables, and bar tenders... i know some that make 40k a year working part time! hello!"
Having sex with complete strangers is hardly the "easy way out" She did it to put herself through school not because she wanted to "get rich quick" as many claim she did. She wants an education she wants to have a normal job.
"do you want your kids to be brought up by someone like that? come on!"
My friend told me about his sister who used the money she earned as an escort to pay for her son's university education. Her son was well aware that his mother worked as an escort and he still loved her. Things aren't always so black and white you know.
"I've been working the mean streets of Detroit now for more than 14 years...I see hookers rob their John's of money for drugs, car jack people and commit other heinous acts in order to either get their "fix" of heroin or crack every day that I work"
I'm am under the impression that the OP's girlfriend was not selling herself for heroin she was trying to get an education. Drug addicts will resort to anything to get their fix prostitution is one of them. clean safe escorts who don't use drugs and don't work on the streets DO NOT rob their customers and are probably much more honest then you would think.
Any john who is dumb enough to get himseld involved with a heroin addicted street hooker deserves to get robbed.
Let's stick to the escorts the who operate out of safe places and don't do drugs. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 1:12:44 AM | | Harvey....after all is said and done in my opinion ..it seems that how she kept the information of her past (not what she has done at this point) from you for quite some time during the relationship bothers you most..you must ask yourself would I rather have not been told at all?? you have stated that you have been with her for 2 yrs 1 being long distance...Do you really feel like you know this person?? helping her with childhood struggles must definately make you feel closer...She has let you in becareful she doesn't drown you...seek professonal help as a couple and seperately..good luck to you!! | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:42:56 AM |
i've done it myself and i even had a two hundred dolllar a month prescription drug to pay for...(nexium...great fun!)... .....How does Nexium come into the equation? There are plenty of anti acid drugs to combat heartburn and they don't cost $200 per month. No prescription needed. A packet of anti acid's will set you back about $2.00 a week.
Do you honestly think that this woman would have chosen this path if she had another choice? | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:22:14 AM | msg 100...omg what an acid out look and name calling (omg again)to say she took the easy way out only show your lack of understanding and compassion for others, i suggest you go and volunteer to work with people less fortunate than you ,this will help you grow up
I agree with larissan in message 100: She is completely correct. 
The OP's girlfriend is someone who took the path of least resistance and it was/is a path that is completely demeaning to a person's dignity. What is going on with American society when we admire and 'understand' women who work as hookers and strippers to support themselves, their children, or just earn money for school? What happened to admiring those who work hard and do what needs to be done and still maintain character and decency? I come from a poor background, so I don't need to go out and work with 'those less fortunate' than I to know what life is like and how tough it can be. I've supported myself from the age of 17 until now, put myself through 6 years of university, and built a great life and career, coming from, btw, one of the lowest levels of the economic and social strata. Never needed to do anything nasty and never even considered it. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:45:59 AM | Do you honestly think that this woman would have chosen this path if she had another choice? Yes, I think shedid choose this path when she had other choices: there are always other choices. She could have gone back to her home country, she could have worked cleaning toilets. I am quite sure she had other choices. It's ridiculous, frankly, to suggest she had no other choice. Unless you've been kidnapped, held prisoner, and forced into sexual slavery, there are always other choices. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:06:11 AM | | I don't buy that "I did it to put myself through school" baloney. I worked 3 jobs while going to college. I never stripped or did the escort thing. I think if she had any integrity she would have earned money in a different manner. It's your life, if you love her, more power to you. But just remember one thing, our past is part of what makes us what we are today. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 110 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:14:41 AM | ^^^^
You pay someone to clean your toilet, pick up your trash, clean up vomit, clean up blood, urine, and feces, bathe naked bodies, dress dead bodies and all sorts things alot of people wouldnt do no matter how much you paid them but apparently getting paid to have (safe) sex is the one job that's so nasty ewwwwwwwww. Why be an escort when you can clean up shit for a living? ohh yeah I still have my dignity!
1 hour to entertain a client $200-300 an hour
8 hours cleaning up shit for minimum wage
Hypothetically speaking if I was a reasonbly attractive woman and those we the only two jobs avialable. and I had no other skills I'd consider the first option over the second one.
cleaning just isn't my thing. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:25:50 AM | Zain, if you think being a whore is such a respectable way of making a living, why don't you do it? I mean, if you really worked at it and were good at it, likely you could make more money than you do now. Do you make $300 an hour now?
Do you realize you are saying maids, undertakers, garbage men, nurses, nursing assistants and caretakers, and so many other people, have jobs with less dignity than that of a whore? Do you realize at all what you are saying? So, in our society, we should have no respect for people who work as maids, nursing assistants, undertakers, garbage men, etc.?
Those who deserve our respect are those who make the most money per hour? No matter how they make it? So it is more respectable and dignified to work as a $200 an hour whore than as a minimum wage maid?
Hypothetically speaking if I was a reasonbly attractive woman Don't think one has to be a woman to be a whore; you look like a 'reasonably attractive' man, why not go for it? | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:37:58 PM | The biggest "whores" are the CEO's at multinational banking corporations who just took billions of dollars in bailouts and our so-called representatives that take funds from lobbyists. In fact, they are worse, imo. They lie.
I'm sure it's all black in white from your rarefied perch, Ismean, as to who possesses dignity and who doesn't, but your "opinion" isn't the final authority on morality. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:04:13 PM |
When you truly love someone, it doesn’t matter what they did in their past—past is just that, past.
There you have it. I doesn't matter a lick what ANYONE else says. If this is real love between you two, that is ALL that matters. However, if this was real love, the kind that is beyond words, the kind that words only defile; you would have no doubts whatsoever. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 115 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:22:33 PM | "Zain, if you think being a whore is such a respectable way of making a living, why don't you do it? I mean, if you really worked at it and were good at it, likely you could make more money than you do now. Do you make $300 an hour now? "
Just because I don't judge prostitutes doesn't mean I want to be one. If I became an undertaker I'd be making more money then I'm making now that doesn't mean I want to be an undertaker.
"Do you realize you are saying maids, undertakers, garbage men, nurses, nursing assistants and caretakers, and so many other people, have jobs with less dignity than that of a whore? Do you realize at all what you are saying? So, in our society, we should have no respect for people who work as maids, nursing assistants, undertakers, garbage men, etc.?"
No I'm not saying that You obviously took what I said out of context. It just makes me laugh when the prostitute is condemed for her bad descisions, bashed, disrespected and the person cleaning toilets is renowned as some sort of martyr because they still have their "dignity" Even though it's an equally undesirable job for most people that's just retarded. It's a personal choice. If you want to clean toilets for a living, fine by me, if you want to have sex for a living that's also fine by me. It's your body, and your life you a free to do as you wish with them both.
"Those who deserve our respect are those who make the most money per hour? No matter how they make it? So it is more respectable and dignified to work as a $200 an hour whore than as a minimum wage maid?"
I guess for some people minimum wage just doesn't cut it. Like I said, it's personal choice. I don't care what you do for a living or how much money you make. A prostitute is not hurting anyone or stealing from anyone.
"Don't think one has to be a woman to be a whore; you look like a 'reasonably attractive' man, why not go for it? "
Because I have other options? I don't think I'd make a very good whore. Futhermore, The sex industry is female dominated. The great majority of sexworkers are women. because let's face it. Womem don't need to pay for sex. There is almost no demand for male escorts and in order for a male escort to be successful at all he needs to be gay or bisexual, which I'm not. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:38:30 PM | I think there are three issues to this problem as I understand them. Number one is accepting and coming to peace with her past as an escort. Number two are the health implications, both physical and mental on your relationship going forward. And finally the coup de grace, Why did she wait TWO YEARS and AFTER you are ENGAGED to reveal this little secret.
If her escort past is no big deal as most of the (mostly female) respondants are suggesting, then why didn't your Honey inform you of this much earlier in the relationship, like before you slept with her, or had feelings of love for her. Yes that is the betrayal, the Not-Telling until you were hookd pretty deeply.
IMO, Number three is why you are having a hard time getting past this situation with your fiance. Deep down, you know it was deceitful, and deceptive at the least to withhold this information until you had aqquired deep feelings for her. A betrayal of trust. That my friend is what your going to have trouble getting over. Good Luck with that.
SWORD out. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:52:35 PM | "It's your body, and your life you a free to do as you wish with them both."
Thats not true prostitution is illegal. The bottom line is can the OP live with her choice and yes it was a choice, there were other options. The friend I wrote about in an earlier post carried fruit on her head to sell in the market. She came to this country with almost NO money, she took care of elderly folks in their homes and worked her way through college. She has her MBA and is a hospital administrator now. We always have a choice.... | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 5:28:21 PM | | I would suggest that any man on here that says that all women "give it up for cash" possibly think about changing his sexual orientation. Maybe going the other way would not leave him so bitter at women that have found him less than even borderline intresting in his past. Just a thought. Sorry to get off the subject, just could not help myself. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 7:47:41 PM | HIGGY et al,
lol! I have volunteered a plenty, and have worked with people from all over the world.
much more then you i can assure you.
and as someone who is also in the university setting day in and day out i can assure you that there are tons of resources for students...loans...scholarships...work to study.. etc. a college student in the US does not need to prostitute themselves or be a stripper in order to get through college. that's just an excuse. for you to say otherwise is an insult to every single person that has worked thier tail off (in a different maner obviously) to get through school. it's bullsh**t
lar | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:10:38 PM | zain OP and anyone else i missed...
there are millions of women and children who are traffiked into sex slavery. many of these women are lured and lied to, and have thier passports taken away. many young girls are even sold by thier families. but this just happens in those "other" countries, right? wrong!
it is estimated that approximately a quarter of a million women and children are traffiked into the united states for sexual purposes. so for you to dismiss as a "women" dominated business is really off base. yes, there are women who choose to do this as a profession and it is quick money for them. they make a lot more money selliing themselves then working a real job. but there are plenty of women out there that don't choose this...and there are consequences and there are costs...it's illegal for one..
by your logic...and by that of many on this thread...why not just be a drug dealer then? i mean, that's a choice too...
but the bottom line is it is illegal to sell drugs and it is illegal to sell your body. there are other choices. as i've said before, there are millions of people that come to this country with absolutely nothing and they don't make those choices. they choose to work and struggle to get ahead. they don't live high on the hog, for sure, but they save thier money and shop at discount stores etc. I've known kids that have had three jobs while going to school full time! they struggle to get through school. for you to suggest that this is somehow an either or option is ridiculous. it's a false dilemma. this woman didn't have to do this.
this isn't sofie's choice. this isn't a war torn country where you have no other options. go tend bar! go waitress! both of those occupations are dominated by college kids in college towns all over this country for a reason... because they pay more and meet the needs of a college student. of course, one still might have to eat ramen noodles..god forbid!...but hey, going to college isn't easy...noone said it was...but if millions of other people can bust thier you-know-whats to get through college and go without...well this woman could have also...it's a choice and she made the wrong one...
lar | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:14:34 PM | Let me try to understand this issue. You have been with her two years, your now engaged to be married to her, she was honest enough to tell you about being a call girl in her PAST and now you cry with her? WTF? Did you think she was a virgin? NO?
Then you already new other men has had sex with her correct? Yes? So now your making a big deal about it and making her feel worse by justifying her remorse?
It's like a child falling down, they don't know whether to cry or not, but if Dad starts crying them the child feels worse. Why are you doing this to her? I thought you said you loved her? I'm confused here...... You act as though you were the call-girl.
Geeezzzz man-up and show some support for her, how the hell can you be jealous of the past? Look FYI, unless you meet a virgin, all other women you meet has had sex with other men before you ever came along.
I take it you have had sex with her since you two have been together.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Was she good? Yes?
2. If yes, then the other guys did not hurt it right?
Ok if those guys did not hurt it WTF is the problem?
Sounds like your more concerned about your own feelings than hers....
GET OVER IT | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:30:21 PM | | msg 123as a single mother and a damm hard working one i dont think ive insulted myself at all lol and guess what i work with people who are less fortunate than others day in day out doing what others wont .......so i have put my education to good use im not still learnin what it is when life throws a curve ball i live it | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:35:13 PM | | How did this woman hurt you in any way and why are you taking it personally? This is what jumps out at me when I read the sanctimonious posts of finger-pointers. Isn't it great that two people love each other? Isn't forgiveness not only within the OP's rights but furthermore completely irrelevant to the petty issues that morality pushers who are withholding it? Throw the first stone if you've never "sinned"... IMO you are already bigger sinners. | |
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