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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/16/2008 4:58:40 PM | Hi Corwin,
i actually know a lot of details, and i can anwer all of those questions with "good" answers. i think the perception of the job that I have and the dangerous perception of the job that people have on this forum (from the USA), is because she did in a country where it is de facto legal. the atmosphere is worlds apart, and while not a "preferred" profession, the industry is known to be clean, with regular testing, NOT to involve drugs or payoffs to the police or pimps. This has shaped my opinion considerably, as I know prostitution is an entirely different situation here in the USA. Thank you for your concern, and do not worry, I have been asking the tough questions. They are the ones you don't want to ask, but have to, in order to move on in the relationship. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:12:49 PM | you ba$tard -judging someone for something they did before they were even in your life -and you thought she was special before she told you her nefarious secret.
are you more devistated for yourself or your friends finding out your in love with an ex call girl.
think positive -your gettin for free, what other men had to pay for
she isn't charging you? is she??? | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:24:05 PM | based on the responses to this thread, i'd put myself in somewhere in the middle of the population in terms of how I reacted. half of the people are just judgmental and would dump her then and there. 25% of the people are compassionate souls who can see beyond the petty, and would love her for who she is. I'd like to think I'm in that middle 25% who just needed a little help to get myself up to that top 25%. Sound good?
Also to kelly, I have some married friends who go at it at least 2-3 days everyday like clockwork. They were so happy when the wife got an IUD in, because they had been spending so much money on condoms. LOL! | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:45:36 PM | it is not illegal in all places. in fact, it is legal in canada and mexico.
http://www.torontocriminaldefence.com/articles/EEAFZllkEEfGCBJCfp.php
"It’s true that prostitution itself is not outright banned in Canada as a crime. However, there are a mine field of criminal laws that capture the many activities that often go hand-in-hand with it. "
none, BUT what does that have to with actual question at hand? what if she slept with the same amount of men that she had met at a bar? does catching an STD because she had sex for excitment rather than money there make it better?
Then presumably she's been tested for EVERY STD, and not just the most popular ones... On the flip side, if she was in bars to pick up the same amount of men that often, I'd worry about her liver...   
disneyworld, etc. all activities that give people pleasure, with varying degrees of "moral" implications.
Ummm, The moral implications of disneyworld??? Oh, I see, That slut, Snow White and her 7 short FWB's?????
woman that has protected sex with her husband 100 times in a year, will have the same sexual organs as a woman who has had protected sex with 100 different men, each one time in a year, given there is no STD transmission. both women will be fine having babies.
However, if there was STD transmission, and considering condoms are not 100% reliable..., and considering that men who have sex with prostitutes are at a higher risk of STD's than a monogamous husband... She could have had an STD, that rendered her infertile and never known she had it...
it doesn't matter to me if you look down on prostitutes, former or current. that's your own opinion and choice. and, nobody is asking you to date one.
Well, I'm not likely to date or for that matter, rent one...
Oh, and by the way, you titled this thread as How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
I'd say I'm having less of an issue with it than you.... | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:47:17 AM | higgy~
yes, i know you can't argue, that was apparent from your first post.
however, i am not one to slam someone for poor punctuation or spelling, poor syntax etc. this is a forum, which means it's informal, and the rules for prescriptive english do not apply... so the person who knocked you such did give me a chuckle...
...anyway i didn't give a "4 and against" prostitution. i merely pointed out that there are circumstances where women haven't had a choice...i.e. as in "sophie's choice," and yes, the women in afghanistan literally DIDN"T have a choice. they would have been killed if they tried to work, and since they had no other way to get food..yeah... that is literally the only choice they had... funny though isn't it? there were men that were all too happy to take advantage of thier situations. it's a sad comentary on men. you'd think that being human beings they would have brought the women food or something, or given them some money instead of using that as leverage to get sex. (note: if you want to read up on what went on there you can go o human rights watch online and read some of thier reports.)
but that is the problem with prostitution. it's sex by coercion and money is the coercive factor.
OP's girl friend had other options. she had a choice. to make it worse she waited till he was already emotionally invested in the relationship to drop the bombshell, which is extremely manipulative.
lar | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:47:26 AM | higgy~
yes, i know you can't argue, that was apparent from your first post.
however, i am not one to slam someone for poor punctuation or spelling, poor syntax etc. this is a forum, which means it's informal, and the rules for prescriptive english do not apply... so the person who knocked you such did give me a chuckle...
...anyway i didn't give a "4 and against" prostitution. i merely pointed out that there are circumstances where women haven't had a choice...i.e. as in "sophie's choice," and yes, the women in afghanistan literally DIDN"T have a choice. they would have been killed if they tried to work, and since they had no other way to get food..yeah... that is literally the only choice they had... funny though isn't it? there were men that were all too happy to take advantage of thier situations. it's a sad comentary on men. you'd think that being human beings they would have brought the women food or something, or given them some money instead of using that as leverage to get sex. (note: if you want to read up on what went on there you can go o human rights watch online and read some of thier reports.)
but that is the problem with prostitution. it's sex by coercion and money is the coercive factor.
OP's girl friend had other options. she had a choice. to make it worse she waited till he was already emotionally invested in the relationship to drop the bombshell, which is extremely manipulative.
lar | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:01:41 PM | lol lar you didn't have to write it twice .....i dont have to research this subject , i am quiet aware of the barbaric customs other countries have to live, and support its down fall a hundred percent......back to the question on hand, he asked 4 help, not sarcasim , condement, political out looks or religious out looks on this world...who are we do judge , did we live her life, do we know how she came to this decision.....no we dont, do we judge, yes we do
we as a society ,who give out nothing but negative advise are the reasons this world is in trouble
as for imy first post ,was i suppose to be like everyone else and condem, i dont think so, something everyone should learn including you, is a little positive thought gose alongway, and may ,just may make this a better world to live in
ow and ps i got a great laugh out of gunhappys post it showed her maturity levels and why this world we live in is, and i ll put it politly fck
p s s if a person can give reason ,which you have, some countries have no choice then you are 4 and against | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:09:09 PM | | hey higgy, your typing is terrible, but your consideration of others more than makes up for it. i'm just going to stop responding to mchurch, since the back-and-forth will never end, he won't dissuade me, i won't change his month. as for lar, well i can ignore her judgments too. and to kelly, 100 times a year is definitely not extreme by any means in marriage. it's up to the couple. i know at least of one couple that has sex 2-3 times day. you can't believe how elated they were when the wife got an IUD because of how much they were spending on condoms. lol! | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:28:04 PM | | lol harvey thank you and yes my typing is terrible .....i get so frustrate with people who give nothing but negative thoughts in this world ,my mind just explodes with anger, the result .... i make a lot of typing , grammar,punctuation and spelling errors lmao ...ps if this is all the can have a go at, i look at it this was...why they are picking me , they are leaving some poor other person alone and i have big shoulders they will have to do better than that | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:36:50 PM | | There are two "shift" keys on the row just above the space bar. The "comma" and "period" keys are on the same row. Depending on your typing speed and co-ordination, using them will take you an extra ten seconds per message. That way, other people will be able to read what you're trying to write without re-reading the paragraph and guessing where your sentences end. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 213 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:42:54 PM | "http://www.torontocriminaldefence.com/articles/EEAFZllkEEfGCBJCfp.php
"It’s true that prostitution itself is not outright banned in Canada as a crime. However, there are a mine field of criminal laws that capture the many activities that often go hand-in-hand with it. "
Trying actually reading those laws for example communiciation in public for the services of prostitution are illegal however private communication such as the internet and newspapers is still legal (this is done more to discourage street prostitution ) pimping is illegal however most escorts operate independently. Yes there are activities associated with prostitution that are illegal however it's still not the same as the U.S. the legal reprocussions are just not the same. Most major Canadian cities are known for their sex industries (Montreal is one of the top sex trade cities in North America)
"However, if there was STD transmission, and considering condoms are not 100% reliable..., and considering that men who have sex with prostitutes are at a higher risk of STD's than a monogamous husband... She could have had an STD, that rendered her infertile and never known she had it..."
Condoms aren't 100% reliable neither are bus drivers. She could walk outside and have no idea she's going to get hit by a bus (If you're going to play the "what if" game)
Nothing in this world is 100% guaranteed (maybe death) so it's an acceptable risk just because you're not a prostitute does not mean you're all of a sudden immune to STDs you could catch something after being with only one person. Infact a escort is at a lower risk then a promiscuous female bar patron.
People still haven't grasped the fact that prostitutes don't spread STDs. Unprotected sex does.
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:08:02 AM | So she used to do escort?
But how did she manage that coming from a poor background? Most escorts I've met came from fairly or middle-class homes and had a decent education. to be an escort you need to be able to dress, look and act the part of a "lady". Like a Courtesan.
Otherwise, she was just a whore. Nothing more, nothing less.
Some whores will sleep with several men a night, everynight.
You might want to ask yourself too if this woman has done things you might not be comfortable with. Like being paid to take on a Bachelor party for example one guest after the other. Or all at once.
How will you feel if you run into any of her customers?
How will you feel if one day you realise she has more money than she can account for? Will you wonder how she got it?
You may be getting it for free, but after a while when something has been used enough it's hard to resell it anyway.
Good luck to you mate. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:11:29 AM |
BUT what does that have to with actual question at hand? what if she slept with the same amount of men that she had met at a bar?
She'd still be a slag, she'd just have less money.
I've read your posts and you seem to be justifying it all to yourself anyway so why bother asking? I've had mates marry good girls, and bad. Sure half the marriages to good girls failed. But every single one married to a former bad girl failed. It was always the same thing. Whores and leopards never change their spots. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/18/2008 1:07:33 PM | | Ask yourself how committed are you to making a life long relationship with this person? People work through so many difficult issues when they are committed to one another. The best way to work through this is just as you have been, together! If the difficulty continues perhaps some professional help like conseling? If you've found love, don't let it go because of your immediate feelings. Cherish the love and continue to work through it, whatever your issues are. Best of luck to you both. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/18/2008 4:35:15 PM | Love is blind no? It's really all about how you can deal with it. But, look at it this way. She wants to be married to you. And I'm betting her dirty little secret was eating her up inside, and if you can move beyond it, I'm willing to bet she'd be true and deepen the trust and intimacy you already have.
If you can't move beyond it. well. end it.. harsh. but you need to get some sort of closure over it, and I don't mean going out and getting a call girl, but I mean, seriously, you have a woman, who literally is, every woman you could ever want. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 221 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/21/2008 6:43:38 PM | "Last time I checked, you could at least see a bus coming if you looked.... You don't have the same option with an STD...."
That's true, however the point I was making is Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed. So it's an acceptable risk. A callgirl will insist on using a condom and is tested on a regular basis that makes her less of an STD risk that alot of other women regardless of how many men she's been with.
and in Canada as long as it's done privately and behind closed doors. It's legal Prices are quoted honestly (and alot lower then the states because there is no legal risk) the women are more honest, and the legal reprocussions are nothing compared to the States.
The cops can't do shit.
Another reason why I'm happy not to live in the States. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:06:49 PM |
A callgirl will insist on using a condom and is tested on a regular basis that makes her less of an STD risk that alot of other women regardless of how many men she's been with.
Frequently call-girls, escorts etc, are offered more money to have sex bareback...
In poorer countries the majority of sex workers do not use condoms...
As for testing on a regular basis?
Even if a prostitute is being tested every week for HIV, she will test negative for at least the first 4-6 weeks and possibly the first 12 weeks after being infected. If we assume that he or she takes only 4 weeks to become positive, because there is an additional lag time of 1-2 weeks to get the results back, there will be at best a window period of 6 weeks for a prostitute. The average prostitute services between 10-15 clients per day. This means that while the test is becoming positive and the results are becoming known, that prostitute may expose up to 630 clients to HIV. This is under the best of circumstances with testing every week and a four-week window period.
Now even if we consider a very high priced call girl servicing only 1 client per day, that still leaves us with some 40-50 exposed clients... | |
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tort2
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Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 223 | |
| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:56:21 PM | Hey Harvey, dump that girl ASAP and send her my way.
j/k
Dump her anyway; she committed a crime (unless she lives in certain counties in Nevada) and as others have pointed out, she could have taken other jobs (I had three jobs my final year of law school). Having defended some hookers (pro bono) I can assure you they are doing it NOT for the money but for the thrill and enjoyment of debasing men. Most of them subconsciously hate men.
But hey, if you stick with her, just toss her a 20 dollar bill after being intimate; make her feel right at home. | |
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| She used to do escort. How can I get past this tough time and move past her history?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:18:04 PM | | Dude............that was years ago. The past is the past. People make mistakes and learn from them. She obviously loves you, and you love her as well. Let it GO. Your job as a man, is to comfort the pain, not make it worse by dwelling on it. Time heals all wounds. Keep in mind that true love is hard to find. Make the best of it and look forward to a better future because some of us wish that we had someone to love and care for. Good luck and cherish what you have. | |
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