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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 6:11:18 PM | I would'nt ever give a guy a key to my place, never!!! This is creepy, by dropping the device he knew what he was doing was wrong and that he had been caught. If I need protection I'll keep my gun by my bed and will have it fully loaded. I think the girl should have called the cops and got a restaining order against him. If he was truly worried and not just a pervert who gets a kick out of watching someone then he should have talked with her about why he did not think she was safe. I would get new locks, change my phone number and completely empty out my appartment and have it thoroughly searched for other devices. If anyone has ever seen the original "When a stranger calls" movie then you know where alot of this is coming from...This freaked me out....
KAT | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 6:16:03 PM | Well Jim we will simply have to agree to disagree. Until I see what law has been broken I have to stick by what I said.
Sick fu*k? Yes
Illegal actions? Not so sure
To be fair we dont have all the details. We would have to talk to the 2 parties to get to the real truth. I can only go on the information offered in the OP and offer the advice I did in my first post.
-Boot his ass out
-Change the locks
-File a report with the Police
and
-Let every one of your/his friends and family know what a dirtbag he is. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 6:57:40 PM |
Well there is a word that applies in my state INTENT. There would be charges filed and Gawd help him he had better hope the cops get to him very quickly since I am going to be beating him senseless... yanno the five second effect. Is there also no such thing as video security in your state?
As much as anyone would like to think they are on the correct side of the law, one needs to actually review all of the potential purposes for a person's actions and whether or not this could reasonably be applied.
It is reasonable to protect your home with video cameras and in many states, sound recordings on your property are also legally admissable in court. It is not reasonable for one person to assault another person within their own home while they are supposedly protecting that home...
Taking such action just seems... unstable.
Cheers...  | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:44:35 PM |
There would be charges filed and Gawd help him he had better hope the cops get to him very quickly since I am going to be beating him senseless...
You might want to commence with the senseless beating after the police have left then...you know, just in case the set of charges that gets filed is against YOU, yanno? 
OP, I have to say, that's pretty creepy. If this man had discussed this with his partner BEFORE installing the cameras, then that would be fine. To do it secretly though? I mean, did he honestly think she wouldn't finally notice?? Even creepier, to ask "how was her day with her friend" and STILL not own up to how he knew? If I were your friend, I'd boot him out pronto, and as others have already said, change the locks.
I don't suppose this really would be a case for the police though, considering the man does live at that address. Best of luck to your friend.  | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:57:58 PM | She caught this guy seriously invading her privacy.
Who knows how long he's been spying on her before, and how he's been spying on her in the past, before being caught?
Who knows what oher invasions of her privacy have already gone on, (perhaps her mail has been read? maybe her phone conversations have been eavesdropped on? maybe her computer has been hacked?)
Who knows what invasions of her privacy will take place in the future?
I think she should call the cops and sever all contact with the guy
she just can't do that to the guy. WTF?
This guy's a creepy stalker, and she'd rather worry about what will happen to him, rather than worry about what he's doing to her? | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:42:20 PM | She should have her apt swept for bugs and such. Who knows what other eaves dropping devices he might have installed previously.
She should install a nanny cam to make sure he doesn't sneak back in and do other stuff. Nothing like beating the sick sneaky **stard at his own game. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 3:54:41 AM | I'm not going to argue the legality of this situation - but I just had to say:
What a grade "A", zero boundaries, jealous, crazy, creepy, stalking, loser, lying sack of crap!
He's worried for your safety? And, he's going to solve this by putting cameras inside your bedroom? Is he worried that you're having a bad dream? LOL
If he was really afraid for your safety, he'd get a real security company to install an alarm, maybe some better locks, some good outside lighting...
Oh yeah, that's what normal people would do.
Get the police over to look for more of Mr. Spy-Guy's gear in your place, let them know what he did, tell your friends and family and be extra cautious for a while (in case he's following you), and block all his emails and calls. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 5:27:34 AM | | There is no question as what to do. She needs to step outside of herself and view her situation as if she were advising a friend. Amazing that she would even consider maintaining a relationship where there is no trust to the extent of criminal trespassing, among the MANY other issues attached. The answer is evident. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:41:38 AM |
I'm sorry, but this is a no-brainer. No way, no how, would I ever see the man again. There is no reason good enough for her to stay with this man. A call to the police is definitely in order; it's hard to say if a law has been broken (state law varies) but I'd bet they'd send someone out to help her check out the rest of her place, and to at least take a statement and then talk to the guy.
I sduggested to her that calling the police would be a good thing. Se's afraid that if she gets them involved, that it could affect his employment. I told her that is the price he has to pay for being such a dumbass. But I think she doesn't want to call the police is because she still has feelings for this guy.
Please do urge her to change the locks immediately.
I did that when she first told me about it. She said that she did get her ey back from him, but she's not going to change her locks because she don't think that he will come back into her place without her permission. I told her that it's her call, but I would change the locks like yesterday. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:59:32 AM |
But from what I can tell from the OP no recording had yet taken place. He was caught setting it up. At that point no crime had taken place. We cannot arrest people for thought crimes. At least not yet. Hence there is no law to charge him with.
He might not have recorded anything, but he did let it slip to her that she knew that she had a friend over even though she didn't tell him. I think he probably was already watching her and was there installing another one or adjusting it. Who knows, but I do know that I told her what I thought and she isn't listening.
She just told me a few minutes ago that he apologized to her and said that the only reason he did that was the he "loves" her so much that he would hate for anything to happen to her. He said that he just went a little overboard. But he's truly sorry and have seen the wrong he has done. He asked for her forgivness and she gave it to him. 
She said that he also bought her a stuffed teddy bear and a card. She said it was so sweet and that any man that can do that must mean what he says and deserves a second chance. 
I told her to just be careful and still change her locks. I also told her to still get the police involved or at least get it on record. She said that she isn't going to call the police and that's that.
So I guess I will just drop that angle. Some ppl can be so blind. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:22:25 AM | She needs to understand that "getting her key back" means nothing. He's got a copy. A guy like that makes sure he's got back up in case his plan fails. He'll be back, but he'll be more careful now.
This isn't someone who just decided it might be fun and it was his first time. He's obviously done this before. He spends time and money on it. What about his own apartment? That's the first place he would try something like that. Has she considered that maybe all the times they got freaky at his place are now on the internet???
It really frustrates me when women say, "Oh, but I don't want to negatively affect his life because I still care for him." He doesn't care for her. He doesn't love, respect or even think about her as anything other than a thing for his amusement. He wasn't worried about negatively affecting her life in the event that those tapes got out.
Perhaps it hasn't occurred to her that she is already an internet amateur porn star. Ask her how she thinks that might effect HER future and what she's gonna do then. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:27:33 AM |
She said that he also bought her a stuffed teddy bear and a card. She said it was so sweet and that any man that can do that must mean what he says and deserves a second chance.
Good God. How old is this child??
You might be doing the right thing by stepping back and letting her do what she's gonna do. I think the only way she's gonna learn anything from this is by public humiliation and betrayal (unless he shows up with roses and chocolates or something and then it'll probably take more than that.)  | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:37:52 AM | | wow. Is this one for real? Boyfriend of over a yr? I hope she's at least savvy enough to know they have BIG trust issues. This one requires a SERIOUS TALK. If the trust isn't worked on/fixed, obviously he's out. Too weird. I know about going thru the e's, texts, mail, cell phone , but installing spy cams?! | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:42:47 AM | sweetness-one said,
I don't suppose this really would be a case for the police though, considering the man does live at that address. Best of luck to your friend.
The thing is that he doesn't live with her. She just gave him a key for what reason I do not know. But he doesn't live with her as she has told it to me. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:43:35 AM | | WOW, I have to chime in on this one. Tell her to get out of the relationship now because it won't get better, only worse. I have personal experience to back this up...long story as sort as possible...lived w/bf. He thought I was cheating (wasn't) he hooked up tape recorders to the phone, had people follow me, had my underwear tested for foreign DNA!!!! I did not find out about all of it until after the breakup. I knew he didn't trust me, he even asked me to take a lie detector test - which I did and passed (follow by the sorry's and promise of therapy which never happened). The bottom line is there is a screw loose and it will only get worse. It was one of the hardest breakups because everything else was good but I left anyway, why...SELF RESPECT! If you don't have trust you don't have a relationship. If she knows about this I can guarantee that there is more that she doesn't know about. CUT TIES NOW! | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 12:14:35 PM | Wow...Mr Video has been b*tchslapped, beaten, kneecapped, had the camera in question AND somebody's boot shoved up his ass...Jail oughta be like a freakin' VACATION!
Seriously, unless there are peeps here who are duly qualified legal or law enforcement personnel, all the wrangling is beside the point. The OP's friend needs to be convinced that this man is bigtime bad news, encouraged to change locks, etc, file a police report even if the man cannot actually be prosecuted.
OP, tell your friend that most likely, if she lets this man back into her life, very personal moments of said life will probably be on the internet for all the world to see.
If her BF was so concerned about her safety, the old slogan " Nobody ever raped a .38" comes to mind.
Cindy O | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 12:17:43 PM | This girl is going to end up abused, missing or dead. She is being very stupid about her decision to stay with this guy. Did she get the teddy bear checked for more cameras? I agree that getting the key back is nothing, he has a copy. And if he is good he doesn't need a key. I have been able to get locked doors open with two bobby pins many times in the past. She needs to put in an alarm system and not give him the code. This sounds way too much like "when a stranger calls". Please keep encouraging her to report it. I fear for this girl's safety even though I don't know her. She needs a good slap in the face to give her a wake up call. I don't care how much I "loved" a guy if he did that to me without my permission he ould be gone.
KAT | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 2:02:13 PM | OP, you know as well as I do that she's not leaving him.
And in a near future she will wonder hiw did he obtain footage of her naked mom, sister, their kids..
Look, if he installed the camera at the outside of her door, yes, creepy, but at least the concerened for security excuse looks more plausible.
In the bedroom??
And she wants to stay with him for their history?? Yeah, I'll bet there is a lot of it all neatly documented.
Is she nuts?
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 2:13:10 PM | He would be history. I would take his equipment and cut it up into little pieces. He wasn't concerned with her safety. He was probably no doubt going to tape their sexual acts. ANd post them god knows where. I would not trust any guys apartment. Those camera's can be tiny. And god knows where those video's would end up at. I would also go through the house thoroughly looking for camera's. I would change the locks, change my phone number. I would not care what kind of history I had with him , without trust there can be no relationship. He would be history | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 7:19:25 PM | Well, as you said, she still has feelings for this man for some reason. Sounds like she needs more mental help than the scammer she is dating. She sounds desperate and extremely insecure. She must be getting something she needs from him, or else she wouldn't let this go on. As someone said earlier, this is a no brainer!
A teddy bear and a card?? She should be checking the rest of the apartment for other cameras and not only changing all locks, phones and other means of communications, but trying to find another place to live.
If he previously viewed here company, he probably has tape of here undressing too. This man is SICK and she is enabling him. I would be running so fast it would make his head spin.
I personally know about to many men taping the women they bed. One guy has literally hundreds of tapes of him and a lot of women he slept with along with many tapes of him and his GF of many years having sex and she knows nothing about them. He has cameras secretly installed in his bedroom. Either she has no idea or she simply doesn't want to know. I know I would be wondering what was in the cabinet my bf keeps locked over years of being together, and refused to tell me about what was in it!! Some women just would rather put up with some doubts and lies than be alone. As I said, they need as much help, or more, as the one using them!
Sad! | |
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