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| | Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...Page 4 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | | this thread is not about striking someone. its about anger. try to keep the subject as it is. which of the men in here who wish to strike a woman is another thread. go discuss it elsewhere and get back to the anger issue. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 5:54:20 AM | For eg. once, years ago, I decided I would slap my ex h across the face, IMO it was deserved for all the crap I had to endure up until that point. I honestly didn't think he would retaliate ~ but he did, he hit me back a couple of times and I fell down on the concrete and ripped my favourite cardigan ~ and that's the part that made me really angry!
No hitting EVER. Walk away, just walk away. Only once in my life has a man hit me, I was very young, around 20 and he was my boyfriend of about three years. I caught him cheating on me, repeatedly with the same woman. When I confronted him, he picked me up (I am 5'2 at about 127 and he was 6'4 at a very muscular 230) threw me on the bed and back handed me across the face. I did not strike back, I was screaming and his brother heard me and came and pulled him off of me and took me home.
I didn't say anything and I never went back, but if anyone had a right to be angry it was me and I was, but I would not dream of striking another human being, I simply walk away.
Anger has a lot to do with physical violence and a person who is consistently angry, in my personal opinion is someone who is much more likely to resort to physical violence. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 11:34:00 AM | | To keep it simple, this is a dating site. If you see someone you have to change, run! You need to educate yourself how to recognize it and not put yourself in a bad situation. | |
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:05:52 PM |
It seems to me that you see the angry type personality in those who have a very narrow & fixed world view.....
[...] ... People who have lived in multiple cultures & different levels of affluence rarely seem to be angry people, possibly because they have seen enough disparate lifestyles/outcomes/possibilities to know that raging against the vagaries of fate is a pretty poor expenditure of the time we have here.....
I think you are onto something here... I have been fortunate enough to experience lots of good AND bad... and some of the bads were so bad that very few things could compare...
Additionally, I study wars/violence... mass violence... so, it always helps keeping things in perspective. I am reminded daily of how minuscule my problems are in comparison with things that happen to others. So, I don't let little things ruin my day...
The answer to anger management is, of course, a really good trail mix. 
Awwww.... you remember. 
I am The Queen of Trail Mix.
Maybe I should start marketing that... Angerless Trail Mix.
I have been so angry that there is no telling what i might do at the time.
Uhhmm.... Would you like to buy some Angerless Trail Mix???
Only $5.99 for a 12oz bag?
Cheaper than a new GPS....
That is to say that I have to look at things from another point of view other than my own, including trying to take into consideration another persons personality, situation, environment, etc.. Sometimes I am unable to relate or understand, so I have to detach or meditate. If there is no solution to the problem that is causing the anger, I just take my focus off of the situation
Right. Putting yourself into another's position is something that works for me.
Or, understanding what's going on...
If I KNOW, I can handle Anything... It is not knowing that I am not very good in handling.
As for changing the focus... I painted and redecorated my bedroom this summer just to keep my mind busy from thinking of something that I could not solve myself, as it was outside of my control.
the person who has mistreated me knows that I will not just be a doormat and accept poor treatment or lack of respect
Some people don't seem to grasp the difference between being nice and being a doormat.
I try my best to be nice and kind to people... if I care for someone I will do a lot just to see them smile... no other motives... a gift from my heart.
But, if they mistake that for being a doormat and push the boundaries in a way that makes me feel like they don't respect me... then their smile is not a priority for me any more.... simple as that.
I don't yell and scream... but I pull back...
I decided I would slap my ex h across the face, IMO it was deserved for all the crap I had to endure up until that point. I honestly didn't think he would retaliate ~ but he did, he hit me back a couple of times and I fell down on the concrete and ripped my favourite cardigan ~ and that's the part that made me really angry!
The fact that he was so scared after doing something so cowardly was a sufficient outcome to say the least.
Pretty simple rule really...you strike someone, expect to get struck back. The whole "because I'm a woman" shit doesn't fly very far these days.
I think it's sad that it was ever socially acceptable for a woman to strike a man.
No striking of any kind is acceptable to me.
It. Just. Is. Not.
Many lives ago my ex (who I loved very much) wanted to get back... but I learned that while we were apart he was in an abusive relationship in which both sides used physical violence... and though he was never violent when the two of us were together I knew I would not want to reconcile... The thought of him hitting another person just did not sit well with me. *shrugs* Don't want to deal with that.
And, I don't think that it's okay for women to use violence either... nope.
What if Ive been struck by another and it wasnt physical?
Is vengeance ok within once instance and not another?
An eye for an eye?
And where does it stop?
Can't do vengeance either.
*is a wuss apparently*
I was recently in a position where I was tempted to act in a vengeful way... I was pretty hurt... but I decided not to. Opted to bury hatchets and try to rebuild trust... chose friendship and forgiveness, for my sake and for the sake of another.
We'll see if I made a good decision.
this is the world we live in today and if you're not at the top of the food chain keeping up with the rest, you're at the back of the pack becoming someone else's dinner.
Kill or be killed.
Eat or be eaten.
Hmmm, I don't know. I chose not to live in such a world... and if I encounter people who live their life in such a manner I do not let them into my world.
Does not mean that I will turn another cheek... I won't give that second chance to everyone, like I did recently... But, I will put a wall between my cheek and a hurting hand. A very tall wall.
To keep it simple, this is a dating site.
Aren't you perceptive? 
If you see someone you have to change, run! You need to educate yourself how to recognize it and not put yourself in a bad situation.
This thread is NOT about changing people... you might wanna read again, dude.
Once again, thanks to everyone who posted so far.  | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:17:25 PM | Quite a wonderful thread Red
What if Ive been struck by another and it wasnt physical?
Is vengeance ok within once instance and not another?
An eye for an eye?
And where does it stop?
Can't do vengeance either.
*is a wuss apparently*
Nothing "wussy" about not taking revenge which is not to be confused with allowing.
Infact revenge will often finalise events on the behalf of the wrongdoer.
Thats not to say you shouldnt do it because of that though.
IMO it just shows peace of heart and mind...shows compassion, shows a deeper understanding of human nature and a more evolved soul.
Choose our battles wisely I say...strike back only when necessary
Forgiveness is far more powerful and reaching than anything.
It stops us from becoming evil...and having to forgive ourselves for something we have done thats been motivated by anger and fear...
... THAT is a far more difficult path to take ...even than... forgiving other people. | |
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:53:19 PM | "this thread is not about striking someone. its about anger. try to keep the subject as it is. which of the men in here who wish to strike a woman is another thread. go discuss it elsewhere and get back to the anger issue."
Talk about striking another person is a natural part of any discussion on anger. The poster that started it had stated that she had slapped her husband. The responses were not abut men wishing to strike women, just how they would/should handle it.
As for women that strike men I don't advocate hitting them back. If a man hits a woman we are advised to report it and press charges. I think more women would think twice if men heeded the same advice and pressed charges.
Edit: " Forgiveness is far more powerful and reaching than anything.
It stops us from becoming evil...and having to forgive ourselves for something we have done thats been motivated by anger and fear..."
Kyn, that is serious food for thought. | |
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:06:15 PM | | Yes, striking someone is definitely an anger issue, but I think women who strike actually feel powerless. I know that I was tempted to strike in the past (but did not) and that is exactly how I felt. | |
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:21:19 PM | Anger, i am an analytical person myself so tend to evaluate alot, This itself can help in preventing anger.
My ex cheated on me then got angry and verbally abusive when i lashed out at the guy who she cheated on me with, but then he should have stayed away. Thing is anger seems to be used as a defense of wrong doing. Those whom are relaxed generally are an innocent party | |
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:31:15 PM | The thing girldiver is that you didn't strike. When I feel that angry and helpless is when I am more likely to cry.
As for cheating partners, I have never been able to blame the person they were cheating on me with. Why? Because no matter what the person "did" to "entice" the person I was involved with it still boiled down to their choice. It told me that I didn't mean as much to that person as they did to me. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:34:38 PM | Anger is """ insecure people who are petty and a very unhappy person. ""
I very seldom get angry as it settles nothing but makes me sick so if I feel that way just move on and try to keep my mouth shut, | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:58:19 PM |
Infact revenge will often finalise events on the behalf of the wrongdoer.
Thats not to say you shouldnt do it because of that though.
IMO it just shows peace of heart and mind...shows compassion, shows a deeper understanding of human nature and a more evolved soul.
Lyrics from The Smiths old song come to mind:
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Forgiveness is far more powerful and reaching than anything.
Yup. I always thought that seeking vengeance means that you become the same as the perpetrator... which means they won... as they transformed you into one of them.
It stops us from becoming evil...and having to forgive ourselves for something we have done thats been motivated by anger and fear...
... THAT is a far more difficult path to take ...even than... forgiving other people.
Now, that is a whole different story... and requires way more strength... to fogive yourself... not just for acting out of anger and fear... but also for all the other things... acting or NOT acting (cuz not acting can have just as serious consequences)
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:32:37 PM |
The thing girldiver is that you didn't strike. When I feel that angry and helpless is when I am more likely to cry.
Yes, that is what I did too. Then later I would feel hopeless and pathetic ... and angry still.
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| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:39:35 PM | I would never strike male or female. Yes I have never been in a fight. It is pointless.
Once I start seeing or hearing anger consistantly, I usually hit the road. There is no place for it. Talk to me and tell me what it is that bothers you and we will work it out. | |
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b00m
| | Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 89 | |
| Use of Anger to get On'es Way? (manipulation tactic..)
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:24:27 PM | At one point in my life, for a span of about six years, anger and hate were the only emotions I had ever known, and even though that time of my life is eight years behind me, I know and came to terms with the fact that those emotions will be my constant companions.
Those feelings could have been avoided if I had someone to talk to, but my sister was a juvenile delinquent to the point that both my parents had to run damage control on her full time, sometimes at the cost of one or both of their jobs. Pretty much every week, I would come home with bruises, blood, and questions without answers. There was a brief period of time in 4th grade when I was enrolled in Tae Kwon Do that I was able to defend myself, but lessons stopped shortly afterward as I became more and more out of control. At one point, my assistant principal tried to press charges against me for attempted murder, but that was rather quickly thrown out once circumstances were investigated.
I was moved to a different school and placed on multiple medicines in an attempt to help, but all they did was slow my mental and emotional growth. Things gradually got worse until the end of my freshman year, when I had my tailbone broken and attacked the one who did it. I was kicked out of the school system, and quite honestly, it was the best damn thing that could have happened. After I no longer had to attend the joke that was Broken Arrow Public Schools, life got better immediately for me.
Now I am in college, having fun, and holding a 3.75 GPA with minimal effort.
As for how I deal with anger and hate now? Simple, I put them to use. If circumstances are annoying and/or bad enough, I just flood myself with both so that nothing else can bother me. It has been a very useful tool for blocking out both physical pain and unwelcome stray thoughts, and to be honest, lets me make completely cold logical decisions when any other mindset would lead me astray.
Even in the midst of the system flood, I never use those emotions as a control mechanism on others. To do so is dishonorable, cowardly, and pathetic.
Despite all this, everyone I have met tells me I am an inherently good person. My own assessment...leads me to nothing but a big ?. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:44:41 PM |
If I never know anger, I'll never notice happiness because I won't have anything in which to judge it against, or balnce it out to.
To me, the opposite of happiness is sadness... but, that's just how I see it.
With my oldest, I am going through many troubles with her. It's a great learning experiance on emotions, being she is only 5 and learning how to express herself. First off, I'm definitely not an expert on emotions or expressing them, and I know I'm not the best role model for her. But it's very interesting seeing how she reacts to certain situations (and is heartbreaking to see her emulate me sometimes). We (myself and outside sources) are trying to figure out what is going on to make her act the way she does. Without going into too much detail, it mainly has to do with angry outlashes, and being very aggressive. I know a lot of it could do with what she's gone through in her short life already, but we can't change the past, only work towards the future. This means figuring out these issues, and trying our best to fix them. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand why she acts the way she does, so it's very much trial and error.
The teacher suggested (after my oldest had mentioned how well her younger sister was doing in school) that maybe it had to do with jealousy. They had been working on giving special attention and a reward program at school. It hadn't seemed to be helping. With this idea, I set up a special reward program at home. I started last Wednesday, and it seems to have helped a lot. It's a start anyway.
So the point behind the ramble on, is that we can all be like 5 year olds at times. Not understanding our emotions (I'll fully admit to having that issue on occassion), and using one inward emotion and reflecting it with a completely different outward emotion.
So, I agree with you Red, also realizing that sometimes sadness is expressed as anger. I think a large majority of people don't need to ever really study or read up on emotions, and therefore can be easily confused by them. Even still, I believe that people can still live happy lives, even when confusing their emotions, given it's not extreme. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:24:32 PM | Personally, I'd be better off to do anger once in awhile. I tend to get hurt.
Have you ever been in a relationship with an angry one, and how did you handle it?
I was in a relationship with an "angry one" as you put it. 15 years and the father of my children. His anger approached rage. Busted wallboard and windows. Loaded rifles. Broken furniture. I did not handle it well or admirably. I think my response would have been different if we didn't have dependent children and if we weren't so isolated. Today, way beyond child bearing age, if I discovered a mate had an anger problem, I wouldn't hesitate to instruct him to take a hike. Underneath it all, angry bullies are scared babies. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:42:40 PM | I don't find myself to be a hugely angry person, heck life threw me a lesson a few months back with a girl who I could tell was soooooooooo angry at it! Not exactly a huge turn-on and such, but whatever!
I don't know a person who doesn't at times get frustrated with the dating scene, particularly on-line dating. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is really? It is almost like a mask of ignorance thingy by many people. Someone e-mails ya, they look interesting, but then vanish? What? hee hee. As if no communication nor clarity ever did anyone any good at all. And quite frankly genuine people should be concerned of such things cause that kind of behavior is rude.
I used to get a little angry about that kind of approach, but then I started to thinkin differently. Why would I want to give what I have to offer to a person who either has no confidence like me or has something they cannot be honest about? Then I started laughin it off instead!
Anger is a tough emotion because it doesn't really exist primarily by itself for me. I look for the influences of such a thing cause anger does not exist with me by itself, there is always an influential factor. If I deal with those factors? Well the sum ends up different. One more reason why communication is such a precious thing, cause in my life good or bad communication is a bonding experience that gets my respect.
Some people I have met sure do got the anger though. And the problem for them is often they have not isolated the factors, they are just so used to being angry they never considered it is not exactly romantic. That is not to say that life is a bed of roses with no thorns either, but surely angry all the time is truthfully not worth the energy it produces and response that appears?
I guess when you think about it anger is a natural human emotion, but truthfully looking at the factors starts to allow you to deal with why you feel what you feel... | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:30:51 AM | No, I don't *do* anger.
I rarely ever get angry. Mainly because, there's little point to it.
Someone would have to seriously cross the line to get me mad. But that doesn't generally happen, as if they were getting close to that line... we'd be discussing things anyway. And resolving them before it becomes a "fight".
Why is it that you don't do the anger?
Because it doesn't help a situation. You can get angry, and make things worse.
Or you can keep your head, and calmly discuss things, and work out any issues you might have.
How do you overcome the impulse to act in such a way (I assume that we all get pissed off sometimes, but it does not mean that we all *do anger*)?
I can get annoyed. I can be upset.
But generally, I don't loose my anger on someone... because it's not fair to them for the most part.
If my love does something that upsets me, I'll tell her. No yelling or anything. Just letting her know honestly how I feel. And how the things she's done have affected me.
This lets us resolve the issue, and avoid it in future. With no pain caused to either side.
If someone does something horrid... like cheating or whatever... I don't get angry.
Because they're not worth it. I leave them behind, and move on.
Have you ever been in a relationship with an angry one, and how did you handle it?
Yes, I've been with a couple of ladies who *did* anger.
And it didn't last. I can't be with someone who can't control themselves. I don't have a problem with someone getting a little upset now and then. But if being angry is a regular thing... then there's a problem.
After being with a woman who'd take out her anger at the world by slapping me around and throwing things... well... I've learned to simply not put up with it. I deserve better.
I'm not saying my love can't ever get angry. It happens. And I'm not perfect, so I know I'll mess up once in a while. We all do. We're only human.
But, if she was the type to get angry without justifiable cause... who would get angry often, over little things... well... I wouldn't be with her. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 10:26:46 AM | Excellent thread!
From my view, one of lifes truly tragic lessons , so lost on many.
Many times I have witnessed those unfortunates who carry unresolved issues
and literally live their lives in anger.
Gotta be the most destructive force inherent in man.
Met those who are being controlled by those angry types, not realizing they
are not taking in fresh oxygen.
How many wars?
Often, I think of this.
Could be why prisons are the only lucrative business around?
Ha ha
Just realized how many times I've avoided those manipulators who steer people over
the precipice, hoping to make yet another victim fall to their unresolved 'anger'.
Hmmmmm....
Need to 'balance' this thread with one that focus' on 'LOVE'.....
But then...nary a 'soap opera' would it make....... | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 10:44:05 AM | I am going to answer without reading all the rest so as not to be influenced.
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Yes, I am quick to anger. But I'm not an "angry person"--I'm an affable goof. Except when I'm not.
It somehow gets out the bad energy that I feel, and then it's gone.
But now I need to qualify what "anger" is: it's an expression of an emotion inside me--it may be prompted by things other people do, but it's not really ABOUT them. I feel it at the moment--I'm very intense--but it's not a smoldering, lingering thing that flares up, then goes back down, then flares up again. I am quick to calm down, and never hold a grudge. I know some people are taken aback sometimes when, say, I'm playing volleyball and express anger, and then when we talk about the game I don't even remember the play. That's because I got rid of the anger, and don't hold onto it.
My family all have no problems expressing ANY emotion--if we're happy, you know it, if we're sad, you know it, if we're angry, you know it.
It was only a problem [for him] in one relationship, though, so I don't see it as a huge character flaw. It is a character trait, though.
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Allrighty, I just read some of the posts. I get the feeling that a lot of people who don't express anger feel they are superior to those that do. I beg to differ. I also see a lot of people saying "No, I don't get angry, well, EXCEPT when..." So you DO, so own up to it. ALL emotions are valid emotions, it's OK to be angry sometimes. I agree that violence--hitting someone else, banging holes in walls with fists--is not healthy. But hitting a pillow sure is. I do NOT agree that bottling up one's emotions is good for either your BP or your soul. If you truly are tranquil *all* the time, I wonder about your investment in life. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 10:45:15 AM | Excellent thread!
From my view, one of lifes truly tragic lessons , so lost on many.
Many times I have witnessed those unfortunates who carry unresolved issues
and literally live their lives in anger.
Gotta be the most destructive force inherent in man.
Met those who are being controlled by those angry types, not realizing they
are not taking in fresh oxygen.
Its funny you should say that meteor...cos Id been kinda thinking about that too.
How people who are so angry inside...kinda leech happiness off other people.
Like...wanting other people to "fix" their anger.
So as soon as you dont give them their "fix" of happiness...it then becomes YOU that is the problem...and not whats going inside them...which is the actual problem.
Just realized how many times I've avoided those manipulators who steer people over
the precipice, hoping to make yet another victim fall to their unresolved 'anger'.
This is another thing too. Im speaking specifically of third parties here.
People who are ok with everything...know their boundaries and when not to inject themselves into...or get involved with other people's business.
People with black hearts...will deliberately interfere and manipulate.
The equivalent as a women...she'll be a ...and excuse the terminology here but it kinda explains what I mean...a Succubus.
Women devoid of heart...and no real ability to give or feel love, only envy for others, so therefore destroy the happiness of those around them.
Am not sure what the male equivalent would be.
Congratulations btw my friend
Edit to below.
Your insight in complex issues is so absolutely invaluable!!
Meh...I like to use my powers for niceness LOL!
Am glad to see you happy with someone who cares about you as well.
Thats how real friends feel for other people when they fall inlove.
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 10:53:17 AM | Many million THANKS ,Dear Kynnie!!!
Your insight in complex issues is so absolutely invaluable!!
[Quite possibly my first relationship..devoid of 'anger' issues!!] BTW
Reallly...hoppin! lol | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:30:24 PM | | I dated someone who carried around alot of anger. Angry at the world because of mistakes of a few. It was hard to be comfortable around this individual as I was afraid to confront him on his anger issues. I do feel sorry for him and feels he needs counselling but heck it's not my issue anymore. | |
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/10/2008 7:16:43 PM |
At one point in my life, for a span of about six years, anger and hate were the only emotions I had ever known, and even though that time of my life is eight years behind me, I know and came to terms with the fact that those emotions will be my constant companions.
I see that you are 22 now... if it ended 8 years ago, you were full of anger and hate from the age of 8 to 14, right?
Why were you so angry?
Who were you angry with?
For the record... I am especially thankful to those who are prepared to share their own experience of being angry... as that's probably more difficult to come to terms with...
Now I am in college, having fun, and holding a 3.75 GPA with minimal effort.
Am very happy to hear that. Congratulations. 
I know a lot of it could do with what she's gone through in her short life already, but we can't change the past, only work towards the future. This means figuring out these issues, and trying our best to fix them. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand why she acts the way she does, so it's very much trial and error.
Well, she is only five... many adults are not capable of self reflecting in such a way, let alone a child.
But, seems that you are doing all you can do to help her.
Someone e-mails ya, they look interesting, but then vanish? What? hee hee. As if no communication nor clarity ever did anyone any good at all. And quite frankly genuine people should be concerned of such things cause that kind of behavior is rude.
Vanishing people don't really make me angry.
When it happened the first time, I was very hurt and confused.
Later... reading the forums... I realized it's not so uncommon.
I think of them as ghosts who retreated into NoMan Zone.
I can't really laugh about it... and I think that vanishing act is disrespectful... but, I am not angry.
I usually say to myself that it's better that it happened sooner NOT later. *shrugs* But, that's a whole another topic.
After being with a woman who'd take out her anger at the world by slapping me around and throwing things... well... I've learned to simply not put up with it. I deserve better.
You sure do, Adam... and I am very happy to learn that it seems you found her.
Best of luck to both of you.
Just realized how many times I've avoided those manipulators who steer people over
the precipice, hoping to make yet another victim fall to their unresolved 'anger'.
In some ways it's tempting, no?
Thinking that maybe you can help them... that you can heal them... that if you put enough love it will outbalance the anger.
But, it does not quite work that way, does it?
The equivalent as a women...she'll be a ...and excuse the terminology here but it kinda explains what I mean...a Succubus.
Women devoid of heart...and no real ability to give or feel love, only envy for others, so therefore destroy the happiness of those around them.
Ehh... met few of those as well.
They were probably more destructive than any angry person I have ever met.
Thankfully, I recognized them for who they are and block them out of my life.
Once again... many thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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| Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/11/2008 12:33:20 AM | I am amused alot of times at people who say they arent / dont get angry ,jealouse etc etc etc and then to watch them fly in to a 5 alarm foaming at the mouth north tasmanian devil Tizzy over some thing utterly ****ing stupid .
The root cause of anger is fear . Plain and simple . Perpetually angry people have no faith . They cant for some reason or another see anything good or a solution to what ever life circumstances they are in . When viewed objectivley they are to be pitied .
I watch alot of people deal with it from one extreme of flying of the handle and throwing things to denying their feelings to the point of thinking that they just might be from another planet .
I think back to the movie of anger management when jack nicholson's character said there are two types of angry people . The Guy who screams at the cashier who wont accept his coupons to that same cashier who holds it in and has no outlet and then comes to work with a gun and starts shooting people .
Me . I dont hold it in and when its time to express my anger I dont feel one damne bit guilty about it and if some one wants to ruin our freindship / relationship tell me I have no right to feel the way I feel .
One of the things I bring to any relationship is people , especially my freinds and not even the ones all that close to me can open up to me and not feel out a place . They can rant ,rave, scream, cry ( just dont throw shit . I might leave ) curse swear and storm about and know some one is listening to them and can relate to them and wont think their too ****ed up , or will find them too intense etc etc .
Now if its over the cashier not accepting your coupons that may be a different storey. I may suggest psychiatric help or a teddy bear or some thing . | |
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