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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...      Home login  
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 gadaveuk
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 176
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...Page 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Hi

For me being angry is not healthy at all.

If a person is a suppresive agressive they will remain a victim unitll they are able to express them self in a healthy way.

People often journal and in doing so get to know them self.

It is not healthy to be a suppresive agressive.

When people become victims they often tell their story feeding on people pity and symptahy.

I use to remain a vcitm myself untill I earned to heal my pain in healthy way.

Once pain is healed I am then able to forgive that persons actions.

Often pain causes fear and that fear eneds to eb faced and eb dealt with.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 177
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/13/2010 10:42:04 PM
I had an angry dad and two angry brothers. It's like they wanted you to see things their way or they just wanted something period and was ready to stomp on anyone to get it. I guess as a result I became logical and could never understand so much pent up hate. I guess early in life when I was reading in the bible the words of Christ it just kind of stuck with me my entire life. I've had a lot of problems in my life but no matter what I just can't seem to get angry. It's just not in me and I guess it never will be. But I can fake it pretty good if someone is trying to run over me. I'll stand up and fight.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 178
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/13/2010 11:00:47 PM
anger is as useless as any other emotion you want to get obsessive about.
go ride a bike, jog, work out, turn off the tv, feel better about something else; and remember 1000 years from now, nobody will give a shiate about whatever you are so flippin upset about. Get over it.
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 179
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/15/2010 5:12:05 PM
I am not an angry person...yes sometimes I see people acting angry, but not often....if I am around the one with this attitude, usually it changes when i compensate their lack of positive words and body movements with a double dose of my own.

I don't "do" anger because it would weigh me down and I'd be miserable, sitting alone all by lonesome, eating cherries off the cherry trees; while singing ...nobody loves me, everybody hates me.... I walk away from the situation (if can), take a deep breath, or mentally self-talk to calm my angry nerves. I rarely get any, so I am blessed

Yes, I have dated people with extreme anger issues. I also have been that person who someone I dated with these same issues. I have grown up a lot since. I understand that life deals as all a trying time, but I also understand, that it is ourselves that can change our attitudes. I would not date an angry person. I would be there friend, however, limited time would be spent around them for obvious reasons. The exception being, if they lost a loved one they can be as angry as they want at me, as long as I am not harmed.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 180
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/15/2010 5:39:12 PM
My ex was always angry, I never realized until once we seperated how angry of a person she was, and how angry of a person I had become, my son and I are getting happy again and tonite we were talking that anger is a waste of time
I too.... REFUSE to do anger anymore
 12 Volt Man
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 181
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/15/2010 7:23:06 PM
I am not an angry or moody person at all.

but I have been around and worked with people in the past that freak out over nothing, throw shit around, freak out etc.

and I can't stand it.

I avoid people with short tempers/bad tempers as much as I can.

life is too short. be happy. don't be ****y.
 brandished
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 182
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/15/2010 9:34:21 PM
Anger is an emotion brought on by our thoughts. We make a value judgement, something doesn't match that value judgement and we tell ourselves messages like "how dare they! this shouldn't be happening to me!this is outrageous and so on...

Anger in itself is just a reaction but it can serve as an empowering emotion if not used as an excuse to be destructive to yourself or others.

I am free to be angry. But I'm also free to be happy, sad, joyful, content, bored, apathetic, frustrated, jovial...


Anger, in addition to all human emotions is brought on by our thought processes, which in turn is brought on by our beliefs...we all need to be a bit more introspective about what we say, how we feel, and what we believe, but not necessarily in that order?!
 Ranch1976
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 183
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/17/2010 10:38:54 AM
Those are some great coping mechanisms you have created! I was first harboring anger after my divorce but i have now realized that dealing with it and accepting it is the ultimate goal!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 184
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/17/2010 5:13:20 PM
anger is an adrenaline rush
there is nothing wrong with anger
it is how we act upon our anger that makes
a difference in our life.
who doesn't dislike "something?"

i just don't need somebody being mean
 Annie was here
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 185
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/17/2010 7:13:28 PM
Everyone gets angry every once in awhile.It's normal and natural.
To deny you get angry would be to deny you are human.
 12 Volt Man
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 186
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/17/2010 7:46:46 PM
getting angry isn't necessarily the problem. its how you express that anger that is.

when I get angry, I take a deep breath and deal with it calmly and rationally.

keeping your cool is important.

I don't freak out, yell and swear and damage things like some people that I have seen LOL.

if your blood pressure rises from something as simple as finding an empty roll of paper towel when you go to use it, well, you have anger managment issues and need help.

I have seen people like this. its more common than people realize.

sad, but true.
 anewstartforme
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 187
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/24/2010 7:15:36 PM
What does getting angry accomplish? Absolutely nothing. I was married to an angry person and then had a ltr with someone who was angry with the world and everything in it. Whew, was all that anger ever draining?

I have a new beau who is cool and calm and it's a refreshing and wonderful change. Anger serves no purpose other than to raise your BP. Calm down, let it go and just move on.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 188
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/24/2010 7:56:26 PM
For me the only way I can really experience anger is if something effects me emotionally and causes me pain. The first question I ask myself when this happens is: if I really need to take this personally or is the other person wrapped up in their own problems and is spewing their venom on me because I am available at the moment.
People are human, but I do think a person should be open enough to evaluate the responses of others, when it comes to their own behavior. Most people spend way too much time denying they have a problem and too little time fixing it.
I feel that people should learn to manage their irritabilities in life. Being angry all the time is a problem!

We all feel irritable and out of sorts sometimes what you do with that anger and irritability defines your ability to manage yourself.
Your ability to manage yourself defines how other people respond to you.
If one is overstressed, greif stricken, feels victimized they must seek out a plan to find comfort for their soul.
With a little exploration and diligence, one can learn to disperse their anger and frustration in ways that do not spew on others.
AMEN
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 189
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/27/2010 10:48:56 PM
Anger, in the sense of losing it totally, is something I've never understood.

I grew up in a family where violent arguments echoed though the halls of my childhood non-stop. I think that experience "burned out" the anger circuit in my brain.

I can have a "tense discussion" with someone , or be outraged, but always with a civil tone.

Believe it or not, I've never lost my temper or screamed/yelled/called anyone names.

At work, in my private life, even when getting divorced...

I consider that a lack of self-control.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 190
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 7/28/2010 1:24:30 PM
Im angry. I like being angry. I foster my anger. I perpetuate it. It's energizing. It's liberating. It makes me do things I wouldn't otherwise do. It's fulfilling in a way that complacent tolerance never can be. It makes me Unmeek. Sometimes I feel myself slipping into casual acceptance and I have to go out and wreck something to reestablish my dragon. Schadenfreude. Rebellion. Independence. Domination. Ego, assert thyself!
 gadaveuk
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 191
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 8/2/2010 9:24:09 AM
Hi

Agression and confrontation was in my child hood.

Agression and confrontation is anger it indicates to me that people are nto able to ehal and nurture theri own pains so they transfer tehm to others.

Agression and confrontation is often an indicator of how unehalthy inept insecure and inadequate those people trully are.

Agression and confrontation is often used as a way of controlling other people.

Bullies deep down are cowards.

Regards

Dave.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 192
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 10/3/2010 7:31:01 AM
For me being angry is exhausting - I usually just try to eliminate the source of it instead of trying to change them.

"The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper." --Aristotle
 EnergizeBunny
Joined: 8/8/2010
Msg: 193
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 10/4/2010 9:07:18 PM
Well, I have experienced anger in a relationship which recently ended. The anger was severe... from punching walls, throwing items, cursing at a cell phone, to having explosive angry outbursts with sales clerks and worse of all angry at ME for no justifiable reasons. The anger scared me and my dogs (fortunately I had no children). I had even asked the man to check it the anger at the door many of times when he entered my home.

I since found out that the anger in this man is very deep-seeded from childhood and it is an illness. Professional help is required. However, studies show that most men (sorry guys) do not easily admit that they have problems.

So ladies... run if you ever experience anything like this. Life is too short to live unhappily or scared.

Just sharing $0.02 worth of my experience.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 194
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 10/6/2010 10:45:26 AM
Not an angry person. Don't really get the whole 'rush' of anger. I also don't understand the whole 'holding a grudge' thing. Life's too short. For the most part, I think people just need to get over themselves.
 gadaveuk
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 195
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/27/2010 7:05:33 AM
Hi

Sorry to hear you have experienced anger in a relationship which recently ended.

Sadly when we get angry we hurt our self the most.

We cause emotional and physical stress up on our self and also because the adrenaline does not get burned up stress cause build up in the artuaries which cause serios health issues later in life.

Ofte do not understand that they are reacting to some painful truamtic event early in their life.

For men is more difficult because they are programmed to not show their feelings, hence suppressing and burying seems to be the common thing.

Yet sadly is it not possible to se adn understand that people do say they forgive and have healed the pains of their past .

Yet sadly ther reactions some times indicate other wise.

The anger being so severe is just an indicator of how painful his childhood was.

It is a natural response that his anger scared you.

Such severe anger is agressive and confrotational.

Yet there can be agression and suppressed agression, both adversely affect people have healthy spiritual realtionships.

It was wise to move on from that person.

You directly or indirectly speaking up for your self means you are no longer the victim of his abuse.

That is unacceptable.

He could not check his anger at the front door that was not possible ?

Yes professional help was required.

Yet he could only find help once he was willing to help himself.

Quite correct ladies run if you ever experience an agressive angry man?

That excludes most of them ? LOL

You are very wise "Life is too short to live unhappily or scared."

Love

Dave

Very wise of you sharing $0.02 worth of your experience.
 NuDig
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 196
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/27/2010 4:21:53 PM
anger is an adrenaline rush
there is nothing wrong with angerp


So very true. It's sad that even in the 21st century anger is considered a negative emotion.

 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 197
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/28/2010 12:22:07 AM
Yes, there are a lot of angry people on here--and in general. I think one big reason is that the pop psychology movement has caused millions of people to believe they're victims.

And because victims have grievances, they feel entitled to go around ticked off about the injustices they think they've suffered. So, they think they have a license to do bad things to other people, without guilt.

It's always good to keep in mind, too, that a large variety of medical conditions and medications can also cause people to feel irritable or tense or angry. When they can't control those feelings, they may say and do some pretty unkind and aggressive things. I suspect they often feel much more guilt about it--with much less reason--than people who indulge themselves by playing the victim.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 198
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 11/28/2010 4:03:03 PM
Everyone gets angry. EVERYONE. Some people just deal with it differently, and its harder to notice.. we're all human.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 199
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:05:33 AM
I think the use of anger is to get one's way. There is *always* a threat of harm. It's a way to shut others up, get them to back away, get them to give you what you want. Primarily a tactic used by those who either are unable to figure out another way to get what they want, or who are too lazy to do the real work for a more desired outcome.

 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 200
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Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:17:44 AM
oh man.. Have I pyssed some women off in my journeys..
whatcha all wanna know about angry women?
Mostly from doing stupid shyt. lol Nothing malicious.
I can jot down a few quick chapters on angry lovers, though.
Nowdays I just tell 'em not to come back. But, back in the day I took
all that. Got plenty of retro stories on the topic, anyway. lol
Just bored and stalking Woobs.
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