| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 11/10/2008 10:52:22 PM | i agree with you 100% chinasweety. there are reasons why this tradition has stuck through time and has not gone away . of course there are always some men and women too who think women should pay as much as a man. however let them be that way together. i sticl to the tried and true simple call in old fashioned if you wish . but its proven to work througout time
c | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 1/1/2009 12:59:15 AM | I enjoy paying for nice meals & any costs that come with dating. I also like to give my girl gifts & take her shopping for nice clothes & other things she may need &/or will feel happy about. Same as opening her door & doing other little gentlemanly things to show my affection & make her feel special…
But only if it’s my choice to “give” or help her with money.
If she expects me to pay for everything & tells me I have to take her shopping or give her money for shopping & daily living expenses…
It makes me feel like I’m paying her to be my friend.
Will that mean she will leave me if something happens in the future & I don’t have as much money as when we began our relationship?
&… guys that are born to a poor family & had to work any job available to help his family instead of going to university, he is a responsible & hard worker but has just enough income to support a small family yet not a lot extra for his girl to spend freely…
He can’t have a female to love? | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:23:35 AM | It's like asking why do Chinese insist on painting lead on everything.
Americans don't practice this custom.
Who really cares?
It is what it is. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:33:36 AM | [quoteSome American men still like to pay most of the time, especially very much older ones, as a rule, because they were brought up in this way. May younger men were raised by single moms without fathers, the dads either left or weren`t providers, so they have no role models of men being the providers. they have been provided for exclusively by their mothers, and are therefore used to being taken care of by their mother. They do not see it as an honor, duty or of high esteem to take "care" of their lady. Some are just as proud to be able to find a woman to take care of them. My father was this way. His mother always took very good care of him, so he has always found women to live off of and would not even consider it a duty to provide for a wife or children. He feels that they should take care of him]
I raised my son, my biggest beef with my ex was the little interest he showed in his child. However,it did not make him like the poster above suggests. I think that has more to do with the mothers attitude than the fact she was a single mother. And I grew up in the '50's in a family where my mother worked and my father did the laundry and the cooking during the week. And my father was no wuss, and considering he was born in 1902, I always considered him way before his time, as I believe, was my mother, who, incidentally, was 16 years younger than my father.
I've always considered myself so lucky to have been raised the way I was, taught that you can do anything you put your mind to, and never was it inferred that your sex restricted what you could do with your life. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:09:56 PM | i didnt know thats how it works in china. i view american men as cheap, ***holes, know it alls, and dont like to spend money. i feel its a man's responsibility to pay for me when we go out. i have paid for myself lots of ppl seem to think i cant do that but i have! if i offered my bf to come with me, i have paid for him.
i havent dated men from other countries, i wanted too but there wasnt any available foreigners from europe or asia that i could date. even if a guy invited me somewhere i was told to pay for urself and im like why am i even here if u invited me? | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:41:15 AM |
my ex boy friend pay for our taxi,movie,restaurant
I don't allow my ex's to pay for anything.
That's called being kept.
And in all cases I am wealthier than the men I date, so....does that mean I shouldn't date and pay or I should?
What is your point other than attempting to be more appealling to men because you're Chinese? | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:54:48 AM | | In America is different. Woman pays for everything and if they marry or go steady men quit their job and let woman support them. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:56:47 AM | | I have to say that the world is a very confusing place. The corporate controllers want women to earn money so they can pay taxes, etc. Not all, but a majority of women still do the jobs they always did, like raise the kids, wash her man's dirty socks and underwear, and cook for him and the family....but with the added strain of also having to work outside the home to help support the unit financially because the cost of living has been sent through the roof. The man can no longer afford to take care of his family on his own (at least here in the west). There is a migration away from the man having to support the woman, because he CAN'T. Should he be able to support his family, his woman, his children? Clearly, the family was far more intact, far closer and stable when the man supported it and the woman could stay home with the kids and look after the abode. Let's face it folks, the family unit is in the toilet. Our infants are being raised by strangers...our teenagers have no guidelights to lead them to adulthood. The family is an assorted conglomeration of near-strangers whose interactions together are more like bumper car races than relationships. I tend to respect a man who looks after his woman. If he can do it, I say bring back the old values. Chinasweety, I'm sorry our culture is so confusing. I think your men in China have it right. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:56:34 AM |
Many younger men were raised by single moms without fathers, the dads either left or weren`t providers, so they have no role models of men being the providers. they have been provided for exclusively by their mothers, and are therefore used to being taken care of by their mother. They do not see it as an honor, duty or of high esteem to take "care" of their lady. Some are just as proud to be able to find a woman to take care of them.
How interesting! Pearls of wisdom from POF.
My common-law husband of 15 years was raised by Mom and Gran (who lived together). He never knew his father who lived on another continent, Australia, which is where he was born. He very much wanted children with me, but after they were born, I was stunned by his expectations. He expected and was very comfortable with the idea that I should be the financial provider, do all the womanly duties of household, do all the parenting and child-rearing and be at his side to share half of what we might consider the male contributions.
He continued this "privilege of being born male" into his next realtionship and I hear, through the grapevine, in his present relationship. This is a man who has been reared and provided for, by women and who has an Aussie mentality, as mentioned in another post on this thread. I hadn't put the dots together until today.
that makes a lot of sense...unfortunately...
my boys have never seen me being 'spoiled' or treated well on my birthday etc. because even my family are far away - thus they've never learned to consider that as a normal part of life for me... i do hope that doesn't carry over to how they view other women they will eventually spend time with... i guess it's up to me to help them to open their eyes to treating girlfriends differently... they've got good hearts and are basically kind, loving boys... it's just that they've never experienced a woman being cared for particularly, or heard that it's anything important to women
i guess it's natural for boys (and girls) to go with what they grow up with as being the 'norm'... even in this area...
i'm really glad i read this post, thank you, lil brooker - given me another area to think about in how i raise my kids | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 8:17:54 AM | You're in America now.
I think, if you want your relationship to be a partnership, offer to ease his burden and pay once in awhile. If you want your relationship to be one of you as a slave being dominated, always let him pay-! | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/28/2009 8:50:35 AM |
In America is different. Woman pays for everything and if they marry or go steady men quit their job and let woman support them.
And in most cases,Chinese boyfriend or husband is richer than his gf or wife.(some think in a perfect family, man is 2/3 times richer than woman).
Here in America, women have nothing or less than nothing, so man have same, since 2 or 3 times nothing is still nothing, and 2 or 3 times less than nothing is even worse than having nothing. This fully explains why all the losers have gf's or wives, and all the winners are without, or having to search overseas for same. It all makes perfect sense now. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:41:58 PM |
Here in America, women have nothing or less than nothing, so man have same, since 2 or 3 times nothing is still nothing, and 2 or 3 times less than nothing is even worse than having nothing. This fully explains why all the losers have gf's or wives, and all the winners are without, or having to search overseas for same. It all makes perfect sense now.
Now I have that Billy Preston song in my head.
Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:49:24 PM |
Besides spending all of her husbands'/bf money,what does the woman do
Most Chinese wives don't spend too much money but always save money. When their husbands give them money, they'll deposit the money in the bank. Now many of them will invest the money in the security market. They always plan for their kids, parents, and future. Finally, those husbands are proud of their wives and say,"I never thought that she could save so much money." This is Chinese culture! | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:56:56 PM | What is your point other than attempting to be more appealling to men because you're Chinese?
You mean that's not enough? Seriously though, Asian woman are lovely - I once said here only Asian women can go without makeup and still look beautiful and one woman got mad at me
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/30/2009 9:19:25 AM | You have to account for the changes in culture and the role of women in society. American woman fought very hard to get equal rights. Now they are accumulating their own wealth. If a woman who is very wealthy demands a man who is 2/3 more wealthy... well she will have slim pickings.
Foreign women might consider American men cheap, and that might be true, but then again... foreign women behave differently than American women too. They are often more accepting of the "man as head of household" notion. They are often more subservient ...so without a dominant/providing man, things don't work very well.
But of course looks are deceiving... women in Japan walk behind their husbands in public, but then men earn their money come home and hand ALL of it for the women to control. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/30/2009 9:33:52 AM | | ^^^ Just like in the US, where women control 80-85% of the discretionary spending -- a fact which is totally drowned out by all the bleating about how "women only make X on the dollar compared to men". At least women in Japan (and perhaps in other Asian cultures also) the women are smart enough to maintain the fiction that the man is the "head of the household", even if it's in name only. | |
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| she is honey girl or money girl?
Posted: 4/30/2009 11:22:18 AM |
You have to account for the changes in culture and the role of women in society. American woman fought very hard to get equal rights.
At some point, American women might not have the real equal rights. The example is they usually change their last names to their husbands when they get married. In Chinese families, husband and wife are equal, which they keep their own last names, do housework together, take care of each other, and share good and bad together. In Chinese society, women also play important role like what men do. However, men have to strive to be stronger, wherever they are. If a man is successful, he'll find a nice woman to marry. I do believe that all women like their husbands to be successful, and all men want to find nice women, whether they are Americans or Easterners. | |
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