| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 2:04:43 PM | Do you really want an insecure man?
Toys are great... toys are fun....
Toys all around for all boys and girls...
Should we have a christmas sex toy exchange?
Well... only unopened and unused ones, please...
Hmmm... Maybe I should start one at work...
Secret Santa Style. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 2:11:14 PM | | its to each others ppreference,how about this question?What if the man you was with wanted sex toys for himself like a fake vagina or a blow up doll,lol!how would that make you feel as a woman?would you welcome that?or is it a one sided pleasure thing? | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 4:45:07 PM | He probably prefers the missionary position as well, eh? What a sheltered life the poor fool must've lived to be so close-minded to innovative and fun ideas!? He's too rigid, tell him to lighten up. Actually, just play with your toys all by yourself while making sure he's within eye-range. Soon as he sees how much fun you can have without him, won't be long before he's joining in and trying to prove how much more excited he can make you  | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 4:55:30 PM | All i can say is playing mind games and trying to make him jealous to lure him over is not the way to go... what ever you do dont do that. try this one nite:
.. tell him you want to go look at kinky outfits for some bed room fun....
..go to a sex store and avoid all the nasty stuff but go find the vibrating****rings or something that doesnt look like a****or anything that he would find offensive or threatening. Let him pick it, and let him play with it while you are having sex.... Try to avoid letting him use it solo on you at first, he might not react to your reactions very well if he is already feeling he cant please you.
if your being penetrated by him and with the added stimulation from a vib he will most likely forget that its the vib and think its ALL him.
try it . | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 4:58:45 PM |
I have asked him but he doesnt seem to want to discuss it. apparantely toys are off limits to discussion and use.
The refusal of discussion of something that's clearly an issue would be a complete deal-breaker for me. Have you explained to him why this is an issue for you? | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:11:14 PM |
I have a vibrating 'cock-ring' which always get's a good 'tickle' from the girls, if they're up for it well hey, I'm all for it
Where do you get this? I hate buying things and not know if they are going to work. I'd rather get something that someone else told me works great. I have some stuff that turned out to be a waste of money.
I have trouble too. My guy always makes sure I get there, but if this thing got me there faster, that would be so much better. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:49:04 PM | Oregondaisy: Check the c@ckring section of Adam and Eve, or other similar websites.
They make tiny vibes that use a watch battery and they slip into a sleeve in the jelly-type c@ckrings. There's a variety of styles.
As for the OP..............
Insecurities and lack of understanding tend to be the cause of men disapproving. They feel as though they aren't good enough and, sometimes, feel as though the toys COULD possibly be replacing them.
How do you work through it??
The same way you work through ANYTHING else! | |
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fit50s
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Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 86 | |
| Kitten..you're in a tough place...If you can get him to talk about it
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:14:07 PM | you have a chance. I think if you can't work this out,so you can have orgasms with him,you're marriage is gonna suffer badly.
One idea is to see if he'll try the T position,(where you are on your back with knees up,he's under your knees and on his side,entering you ) That one leaves one of his hands free,you both have easy access to your clit,and the angle may let him hit your g-spot,as well as slowing him down. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:38:23 PM | Wow. I could never be in a relationship with someone so narrow minded.
Also- it might help if certain posters READ what the OP is saying before going off on little half-baked lectures. Like the fact that she basically wants to use a vibrating egg- NOT anything large and penis shaped. Obviously she is talking about the clitoral stimulation she needs to climax- and that has nothing to do with penis size. Duh.
I think you two should ease into oral sex- without any major expectations...I'm sure it can be intimidating for a man (and woman- but how to do it on a guy is fairly obvious, not so with women really) if he feels like he doesn't know what he's doing- and worry about the toy issue later on- introduce new things gradually.
Oh, and I wouldn't mind at all if a guy had a vibrating toy of his own. I actually gave one to my ex. I'd be threatened if thought he was building an emotional connection with someone else. I would not be threatened by him wanking once in a while with a little piece of molded latex. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:55:04 PM | The OP is
why is it that some men get angry if the woman wants to add toys during a night of lovemaking?
And you say
I think you two should ease into oral sex
Yet you chastise
Also- it might help if certain posters READ what the OP is saying before going off on little half-baked lectures.
How about following your own advice??
And as for
I'd be threatened if thought he was building an emotional connection with someone else. I would not be threatened by him wanking once in a while with a little piece of molded latex.
What does this have to do about anything??
If a guy feels threatened and/or insecure about integrating toys into sex play, a woman's viewpoint is not relevant. Nor do they trump or invalidate that guy's position. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 5:30:15 AM | If a guy feels threatened and/or insecure about integrating toys into sex play, a woman's viewpoint is not relevant
Well I have alsways said never make someone do something they are uneasy with. But I think he is uneasy about some things becuase he has not tried it before...such as toys. I think its ok to ask him to try new things that he is unfamiliar with and if he then dont like it..we wont do it again. but there must be a first time to determine if you like or dont like. I offered to buy him toys too and he siad like what lol I siad i dont know lets go to sex store and look around. he agreed to go look but we have not done it yet. I know he doesnt want to go. Since he gets embarrassed easily I think our best bet would be to order online from adam and eve which im a member of already. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on what to do in situation like this. by the way , my hubby took the kink test and scored a very very low hundred and some. So that should let you know I have alot of work to do on him lol. I was so depressed when i saw his score. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 5:43:39 AM | (some) guys don't like you using your toys during lovemaking because:
* The toy may be bigger than him (insecure)
* The toy may get you off better than just with him.
* They think you don't need them there at all, (which of course is true)
Now to just find that perfect vibrator to make men obsolete. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:38:06 AM |
that post was not aobut sexual spanking it was about actually punching someone. The thread was "Painful ass spankin". It was NOT about punching someone; unless it was YOU who had been punched. You also said you told your husband not to do that to you, and if he "did it again" you would cut him off for a month. Now, did he spank you on the a$$; or did he punch you?
I agree with you completely. I feel that any man who hits a woman is a low life piece of $hit; and deserves to be taken out back and given what he was trying to give. I have no respect, no patience, and no time, for a man who strikes a woman. They are nothing but bullies and cowards. Most of them don't know what a real fight is; and those who do are even worse.
If you dont like soemthing why should you have to have it? You shouldn't; but withholding sex is the WORST thing you can possibly do, and try to maintain a healthy relationship. Maybe stop that particular sexual encounter, until both of you can regroup; then restart it either later that night, or the next day. ALL you are trying to say is "don't spank my bottom." Say it, then move on. I PROMISE you, if you withhold sex, as punishment, the relationship will fail in misery. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:47:32 AM |
lets go to sex store and look around. he agreed to go look but we have not done it yet. I know he doesnt want to go. Since he gets embarrassed easily Actually, I think that is a great idea. EVERYTHING gets easier after you've done it a couple of times. If you go to the sex store, and buy something, and then he enjoys using it, he's going to be a lot more open to going to the store again later. Flirt with him while you're in there. Pick things up and talk about how good they would feel, and what you would do with them. Get him to thinking about it. Hold his hand while you are checking out, so he realizes it's no big deal. Then take him home and use the toy you bought. Do that a few times; and he'll be dragging YOU down there before long.
If you find something you like, but don't like the price. Go home and Google the exact same item. You can always find things cheaper online; and a lot of places are cheaper than Adam and Eve. I found a glass dildo, $45 in the store $15 online. Exactly the same toy.
I aint gonna tell him a third time im gonna whip his ass and its gonna hurt. Well....he might just enjoy that, LOL. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:49:00 AM | | someone had made a reply about punching i was responding to that. and no my hubby never ever punch me in a million yrs. He has however slapped my butt during sex and I strongly hate it. I aint withholdling anything becaused i want it too. Howevr it never hurts to make him think im gonna withhold it. But if i did it would only be until i was not mad anymore. A month would be a bit off the wall. i agree to that. Even I dont wnat to go a month without. As far as telling him to stop...well i did and i still got my ass spanked. Told him a second time and so far so good. I aint gonna tell him a third time im gonna whip his ass and its gonna hurt. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:16:47 AM | I'd rank the man not liking toys during foreplay or whenever right next to women not wanting to try dressing-up in nighties or some other game. I've heard the "not good enough" line from women over that one idea. Sound familiar?
For those women that like to call a man immature because of his sexual preference, think about that line when your lover asks you to try something outside your comfort zone. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:24:50 AM | EVERYTHING gets easier after you've done it a couple of times.
I belive this is true. I never wanted to go in them either until i was drug in one. I was embarrassed and still even though been several times i still find it awkward becuase i know what people are thinking. However i still go in them. I just dont look at anyone lol. I feel if I can go in so can hubby.
Flirt with him while you're in there. ya if im able to get him in one, that will be quite fun. I think im gonna start moaning real loud and saying shit to him lol. he would die of embarrassment. too funny.
I found a glass dildo, $45 in the store $15 online. Exactly the same toy.
which website did you use if not adam and eve that was cheaper?
As to post 94 I dont think he is immature at all. I think he is not experienced in it and maybe feels a bit awkward. If he truely after trying new things dont like it then I wont ask him again. I respect his wishes as long as he atleast tries it before knocking it. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:30:26 AM |
If a guy feels threatened and/or insecure about integrating toys into sex play, a woman's viewpoint is not relevant. Nor do they trump or invalidate that guy's position.
One could also say that since she's not using it on him, his being threatened by her using it is also not relevant to him - as in she needs it to climax, regardless of his thoughts about that or projection of it onto himself. Maybe she could use it on herself before he gets there so he doesn't have to see it.
I'd rank the man not liking toys during foreplay or whenever right next to women not wanting to try dressing-up in nighties or some other game. I've heard the "not good enough" line from women over that one idea. Sound familiar?
This is a continuation of my thought...that's again something she's doing, and he's not. He's not using a toy, nor is he having to dress up for sex, this is all stuff she's doing. If all you have to do is show up naked, what's the big sacrifice?
For those women that like to call a man immature because of his sexual preference, think about that line when your lover asks you to try something outside your comfort zone.
Same thing here. That doesn't pertain to stuff shes using...outside your comfort zone would involve you. If you don't like toys near you or used on you, fair enough. If the person you're with does - go with it. Or make damn sure it's not necessary to use in the first place. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:52:34 AM | Concept pleasure pleaseing your partner ????? guess thats why my ex wife comes back every 2 mounths fo sex lol. position control mmmmmmmmmmm maybe plays a roll for both. toys mmmmm good thing after 2hrs man could use help.Or maybe your partner needs some one else viagra mmm date better looking partners lol. If it pleases why not. most men want bang bang done mmmmmmmmmmm that does not work for her or him.Exsample to undress your partner. make her stand slowly kiss feel smell tastse her complete body head to toe. get on your knees eat till she screams shakes, then make love to her no don t f......k her love .And use her toy mmmmm .you wil find no toys needed or vigra stud.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:55:35 AM | Depends on the toy. If you want him to use a strap on all the time rather than his own unit then I could see why he might take some offense ?
Edit : Kitten...it was a joke. Ha ha.
2nd Edit : No worries Kits, I should've put a laughing emoticom instead of the red guy = my badness. | |
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| men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking
Posted: 11/14/2008 11:01:42 AM | If you want him to use a strap on all the time rather than his own unit then I could see why he might take some offense
Wehre did you get that from. I dont want him to use or a strap on or me either. I dont do strap on's. thankfuly neither does he. My excitment comes from the real thing knowing he is feeling good... A dildo cannot feel. No dildo can replace a man. However, if he asked to use one on me becuaes it would excite him then i would do it for him.
it was a joke lol. well sometimes in here its hard to tell when someone is serious or not. Guess this was one I missed lol. | |
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