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| | Do I ever miss physical touch!Page 8 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | There are many on this forum who have claimed that they don't need another in their life , particularly women in my memory. Are you content to go through life without ever feeling the velvet stroke of warm skin on yours?
Well, since I haven't had that pleasure for quite some time ... I would say I could go through life being content without feeling the velvet stroke of another person's (female of course) warm skin on mine. It would be nice, but not a requirement (like breathing).  | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 3:01:16 AM | From birth we are touched and we equate this with caring.
I agree Ms. Prof: Our skin covering is the largest organ. From infancy, this organ needs to be nurtured. If, as an adult, I am missing physical human touch, I do other things to nurture myself. Like others, I'm not in denial that it IS a physical need/requirement, like breathing.
Being selective about whom I am physical with, goes without saying. | |
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D48763
| | Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 178 | |
| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 3:18:34 AM | One of the most beautiful and greatest gifts one person can share with another is that gentle,tender touch,,,or that soft carring carress,,,if one is so cold as not to seek it,,you know what thier heart is really like inside,,,anyoe who claims they do not need that special person in thier life has put up so many walls,defences,,its like climbing to the top of the hill and discovering another hill yet to climb,,,no thank you,,,as it takes two mutaly emotionaly secure people to enjoy life to the fullest,,,there is a greeat beauty to build,encourage,appreaciate,and yes,,,develop even more,,thats a real quaility relationship,,those gentle touches,those feelings,,those appreaciations burn within a true great and beautiful heart filled with great passion,and tender hunger for deep and treasured romance,,,:)
Have a great day,,,Dave:) | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:42:49 AM | MrCompletely4, massage should NEVER feel invasive. I've been doing massage therapy since 1993, and no one has ever said it's felt invasive. that's because I take great care with draping, boundaries and I understand what's invasive and what isn't. I always tell new clients to tell me immediately if anything I do really hurts or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. when I work the female chest (always under the towel), I tell them again to let me know if anything feels invasive. so far, so good!
if you ever receive a massage that feels like it's crossed boundaries, speak up right away. you'll be doing yourself, other clients and our profession a great service.  | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 3:55:39 PM | | Okay so perhaps I used terminology that some understood and some misunderstood. When I said invasive I didn't mean something that crossed boundaries. I was referring to something that instead of almost putting one asleep, actually hurts a bit if you're not used to it. Nuff sed. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 4:10:32 PM | MrCompletely4, ok, gotcha. invasive to us professional therapists means just that - inappropriate touch. hurting a little is just someone working too hard and you should speak up on that, too. ask them to lighten it up a tad!  | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/25/2008 9:15:21 AM | Wow .......... As I sit here and read ........... I have been brought to tears and smiles intermittently ! A dear friend asked me one day " If you were in a position that you could never be touched what would you do?" .... I'd die.... its simple. Living alone for the first time in my whole life... touch is what I miss the most!!! It is also what was missing in my last relationship... My biggest fear is that I will live alone the rest of my life..... I can if I have to.... but I'm hoping I won't.
Thank you all for sharing ..... It helps to know you aren't the only one longing for the touch of another!
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 6:59:35 AM | Hi Lil Brooker this feeling of yours only will grow and grow harder and worse. this is the worse part of being alone. I am not alone but I been there before my friend astrologer trough this as well. the holding hand and touch another warm body in the bed next to you , feel the arms of another around you when you just need a hug and alot more. the only thing is if you think of it you miss it more. it is not the feeling of someone else touching your skin is the feeling of you want to touch another skin too...I would really would say get a poppy not hairy poppy just a cute little poppy to keep you company. what I wrote above is what my friend told me how she feel when she feel lonly the worse. the poppy was my idea javascript:smilie(' ') she use to come to this site but after few guys broke her heart one after the other she quit coming to this site.
let me know if you find a solution for this I let my friend know too. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 9:20:13 PM | | Most everyone feels the need to be touched...but some of you just don't do it. I am a touchy-feely person by nature, and I always hug my friends when I see them, even if it has only been a day or two since I last saw them. I have talked to people I don't know and find out they are having a tough time or a bad day, and I will hug them, too! I've had people tell me "that feels good" when I hug them, or "I needed that". I do it because I enjoy bringing that warmth into my life and theirs. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 10:39:06 PM | I'm from a very demonstrative family... always hugging and kissing hello and goodbye and my friends are the same way. I'm fortunate enough to live with my son and d-i-l... and yes, I say fortunate because of the love we feel for each other. They are there for me and I am there for them. When I need a shoulder to lean on or cry on, one, or usually both, are there to oblige.
But, even with all the love I get from my family and friends, it doesn't replace the feeling of being held by a man who is crazy in love with me and who I adore. That is something special that no loving, but platonic, touch can begin to replicate.
I want to rest my head on my love's chest and hear his heart beat. I want him to snuggle up behind behind me in bed while I squirm backwards towards him just trying to get closer. I want to burrow my face into the nook of his neck and smell his scent when we are standing facing each other. I want to again know the touch of a man who loves me more than any other, and to have him crave only my touch on his skin for the rest of our lives. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 10:39:31 PM | What a great thread!
Dear Abby was right about "just cuddling." It is sooooo relaxing and refreshing...with or without garments depending on the relationship/friendship...but the important part is "just holding" with no sexual agenda...breathing together.
Hugging helps...if no patting on the back and holding the hug until the other person wants to break it. Amazing how long hugs can be.
The best part of my years of massage was the massage exchange while in massage school, massage exchange after with other therapists, and am still part of massage exchange group.
Even giving a massage is healing. Sometimes we give and receive comfort at the same time.
Many years ago there was a Life Magazine photo of Dick Cavett and his wife at home. They were out in their yard laying in a hammock facing opposite directions and each reading their own book. But their bare feet were intertwined. Such a romantic picture. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 11:07:09 PM | | I hear ya. It's very difficult for me to see couples holding hands, hugging, cuddling. I yearn for the day that I have a special man in my life who I can cuddle with on the couch, watching a movie/TV in the evenings. Thank God I have my dogs, I don't know what I would do without them. But with regards to human touch, unfortunately, I have found that men, while in the "getting to know each other" stage (i hate the word dating, but that's what i mean), tend to misinterpret any cuddly huggy physical touch as a "pass" to have sex. I am not a prude by any means, but if I wanted a one night stand, I could find one easily, just as anyone can. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:20:27 AM | | I miss physical touch so much that I am actually becoming afraid of it. I haven't had a man touch me in sooooooo many years..... Help I need a date! | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/28/2008 5:38:02 AM | Do I ever miss physical touch! Of course I believe most of us do. Sometimes all of us need to get away and be alone. I for one am not content to go through the rest of my life without physical contact of warm skin on mine. Hence  | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/28/2008 3:38:43 PM | This morning I got up and made a cup of coffee and looking out my living window as i watched the snow flakes gently falling to the ground covering it with a blanket....with a smile on my face...sweet thoughts ran thru my mind at this time. thoughts of missing someone beside me to enjoy the special moments with....mmmmm...his arms holding me as we snuggle up and his warm body pressed against me ..keeping me warm.  soft kiss on the cheek....oh yeah....oh dear....lol. i get carried away but its the intimate connection with a man i do miss. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 6:07:25 AM | What I do is get a weekly massage. That helps to meet the need for physical touch. Also, I have a cat who is very cuddly. I also hug my friends. All this helps. You don't necessarily need a man to have physical contact in the world.
Judith | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 7:26:49 AM | I couldnt have said it any better, ForumFilly
But, even with all the love I get from my family and friends, it doesn't replace the feeling of being held by a man who is crazy in love with me and who I adore. That is something special that no loving, but platonic, touch can begin to replicate.
"I want to rest my head on my love's chest and hear his heart beat. I want him to snuggle up behind behind me in bed while I squirm backwards towards him just trying to get closer. I want to burrow my face into the nook of his neck and smell his scent when we are standing facing each other. I want to again know the touch of a man who loves me more than any other, and to have him crave only my touch on his skin for the rest of our lives."
There is no better closeness, to the one you love, than skin to skin.
It is safe, peaceful, and so comforting, to be surrounded by the person you love and that loves you in the same way.
The feeling of not knowing where one of you ends and the other begins, to meld together in that embrace.
What a way to fall asleep and have sweet dreams. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 7:57:59 AM | I agree with both Forumfilly and Summerbout.
My friends and family are always hugging or even just touching when we laugh and talk, but there is a difference between platonic touching, hugging and the closeness you feel with that someone special.
Walking hand in hand, snuggling, the comforting arm around you holding you close and falling asleep.....knowing the love felt between the two of you. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 3:56:09 PM | @dromsofafrica>>>What I do is get a weekly massage. That helps to meet the need for physical touch. Also, I have a cat who is very cuddly. I also hug my friends. All this helps. You don't necessarily need a man to have physical contact in the world.
^^ yes they feel good but its not the same as a mans hands touching our body. my dog and my family gives me unconditional love, my friends fill in the lonely times, most of the times but a partner fills more intimate voids we all crave and desire. is it hot in here or am i hot flashing again  | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 4:21:32 PM | ...Oh I quite agree with you daylillie, ain't nothing going to replace that feeling of a man's hands on your body, his lips brushing yours, his warm breathe in you're ear...
...maeflowers | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 5:48:40 PM | ForumFilly, you hit the nail on the head, girlfriend! and beautifully, may I add!
did****Cavett die? (this has nothing to do with this thread but Riverkilt mentioned him and I started wondering....) | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/29/2008 6:58:25 PM | Of course I do if I don't take the time to give and get touch. All kinds of touch, from a hug, holding a hand, a brush on the arm to say I understand or even a sincere handshake! When working with the elderly one of the things I did was to offer to put a hand lotion on and massage it in. So many people don't ever get touched--physically or emotionally and I think it must be like never seeing the sunshine. We survive but not thrive.
Now, I am assuming the OP didn't mean sexual contact--not that it is a bad thing--just not what they were talking about. Just that touching is a primal need that I hope no one is immune to--I know I'm not.
I love giving (and receiving) back rubs, having my hair played with and just being held close. Somebody doesn't know what they are missing! | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:15:27 AM |
Now, I am assuming the OP didn't mean sexual contact--not that it is a bad thing--just not what they were talking about. Just that touching is a primal need that I hope no one is immune to--I know I'm not.
BINGO! So many in this thread are relating to sexual touch or the warm touch of a lover or hugs or massage. It isn't any of that. It was something else and it was shocking. I haven't been touched skin on skin in two years. I wasn't sitting around and bemoaning. I just wasn't aware of how much it meant...until the asexual and accidental touch of a warm hand on my cheek of how important the primal need of skin touching skin is.
How lucky those of you who have grandkids are! If anything, this experience has opened up a new awareness. Since the start of this thread, it has bumped me out of a shyness. If I covet skin, others must also. I have phoned Alderwood, a senior citizen's retirement home and inquired if there are any residents who don't have any visitors. I visited a neighbour in the hospital and held her hand between both of mine during the whole visit. And you know, as odd as this sounds, I tend to stroke my own skin more. It's a strange, strange world. | |
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| Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:16:53 AM | Lil Brooker, good for you! so many people in retirement and nursing homes have few, if any visitors. their spouses are usually gone, families may be far away or just not involved. visiting these people is a gift, both for them and for you. they have wonderful stories to tell and no one to whom they can tell them. sit, listen and hold their hands or brush their hair (gently!) as they talk. touch is so powerful that we truly cannot thrive without it.
FYI, most massage therapy schools will give a weekend workshop for lay people on giving a basic massage. if there's a school within striking distance of you, you may want to check it out. also, massage schools run very low-cost clinics so the students who will be graduating soon can work on a variety of medical conditions under supervision. you may need a prescription from your doctor to get in, or maybe not. check it out! | |
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