| question for single moms
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:37:42 PM | hmm..maybe i need to move to Nevada..  
Seriously though.. If you really like her and she comes back later it's up to you what to do, not her. You will just have to listen to whatever she has to say and watch what she DOES and figure out her intentions from there. It's usually pretty obvious when you look at people's actions, where thier hearts really lie. I'm going through this now, with a guy who came back to me. I'm watching what he does and it is not in jive with what he says. in a good way though. I always said I would never look back once someone walks away, but sometimes if you just can't get that person off your mind and they come back, sometimes it is worth it. All i'm saying is don't say you never will, because you never know until the situation presents itself again. And don't just say no because of some stubborn rule of never looking back, make sure it's what you want. at least if she comes back to you, ball is completely in your court.
What I said before still stands though.. just walk away.. for whatever reason right now she is not iterested. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/20/2008 6:36:05 PM | | I have walked away. So I just have to go on with my life. It just makes me sad for whatever reason because she deserves someone good in her life.....I mean everyone does, dont they?......I'm not saying i'm perfect far from it but I think I could have given her a wonderful life. Not many people can say that about what their significant others would do for them. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/20/2008 6:42:29 PM | | thanks bj, i hope i do. Its just very hard to be rejected by someone that says they care about you and you have done everything imaginable to show that your a good person with good intentions that would never ever hurt that other person. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:59:52 AM | I agree, the wall is very hard to break down...have had mine broken down only to find out he was married and thus my wall came up stronger once again....although its a bit week in places.
as for meeting kids etc, its hard for single parents, who have no "away" time from their kids, if thier bio-dads arent around, to date...I have introduced a couple ppl to my daughter over time but its all good around here...I cant hide her forever, nor would I want to anyways. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:45:29 AM | hey romeo
iv jus read everything of the posts i think you have done the best thing by walking away because if she really had feeling for you she would of given it her all knowin u are so different from other guys it may of taken time but u seemed like u understood her and as the other women ave said blaming her past is jus a excuse .. dont mean to be nasty it seems like she had all other intentions other than make a life with you. At the end of the day soon she will realise wot she has lost but she only has her self to blame. dont let this bad experience put you off single mothers as we all aint like it . her mind is obv in other places i know its hard for you but be strong u seem like a rare nice guy who are hard to come by so it is her loss
hope this helps u
marnie | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 3:53:46 AM |  you sure you wasnt dating me?
im much the same, it sounds like this woman has had to many let downs from men. There is only so much rejection, heart ache and pain a woman can take. I pushed my ex away, although he was a great guy and i had a lot of love for him, it was easier for me to call it aday rather than risk more letdowns. Its hard to look after a child if you heart and head r doing the tango | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:17:08 AM | | Hi..im not going to be as understanding as some of the other replys to your question sweetheart. What this lady did to you is confusing me too,if what you say is all true then i can assure you 99% of us(single mums that is) would think you are an amazing person & someone we would want to hang on to. What i will say (not in her defence might i add)is that we all have our stories to tell,baggage & maybe horror stories to bring to a new relationship(me included) but what we learn to do as parents is deal with it and although we may not want to drag into our next relationship it is what makes us who we are. I left it a very long time after my divorce to introduce a new man into my childrens lives,which unfortunatly for all of us turned into an abusive relationship & left deep scars,but i have learnt and am still learning to deal with so as i do not drag it into my next relationship,if i ever make that leap again. Basically my love there really is not any explanation for the way you were dropped,you may just have to accept she was obviously not 'the right one'. Good luck next time.Kim | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 4:33:27 PM | | I think i did the right thing by walking away also marnie. What else could I do??? Become a nuisance and insist her to let me into her broken heart? Being told by your own mother {hers} that she never loved you and having your first bf constantly meeting up with his ex gf to snort coke has got to make a girl untrusting and a little off. like I said I was willing to take all the lumps she was willing to dish out because of my love for her but she wouldnt even stick around to find out if i was for real. So I ask you all , why sohould i? | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 4:38:41 PM | | hanna82, I never intended to come between her and her kids. I knew her kids were her first priority at the time we were dating and i wouldnt have it any other way. Any woman that would put a bf in front of their own kids is a woman I want no part of. However now I hear that she is going out with her gf to the bar till 5 or 6 in th morning and when she gets home she sleeps most of the day thru her kids waking hours until she has to do it all over again. Her mom says she sleeps way too much and has even asked her if she needs to go to a doctor for possible signs of depression. I know she isnt well but i also know that unless she realizes she needs and wants help, I cant do a thing to help. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 4:44:24 PM | | my story is 100 % true whybother and thats what is so puzzling that a person can be so giving and understanding and loving and have this happen to them. Maybe she never wanted someone like me. maybe she just wanted me for sex. maybe she got scared. Maybe she got bored after the chase. I will never know why she did what she did because she'll never say. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:23:43 PM | | sounds like she is in a pattern of losers...This is what she is used too, it really has nothing to do with you...some women are so used to being abused(mentally or physically) that is what they expect...she sounds like she has low self esteem issues...2 guys in prison, should she be there too? did she proticipate in their life styles also...sounds like she has "bad boy syndrone" RUN...i have done hair for 25 years and see these woman all the time, not good relationship material...how long are these men in prison...What will your life be like dealing with 2 ex cons, and 2 children with different dad's...be careful | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:33:31 AM | hey romeo
when u giving ur all n she not theres no other option but to walk away
im soo glad iv read u have .. thing is are u happier ?? have u moved on now?? | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:00:58 AM | marnie21,
Am I happier??? No . My heart misses her but my brain tells me I am better off.....I guess my heart is bigger then my brain...lol I know a drama free person like myself is better off without a girl with so many issues. Have I moved on????.....I'm not in another relationship so I guess I havent moved on 100% yet. Isn't that the ultimate way to tell one has moved on????? Going out with another? I dont know much but what I do know is I am frustrated and confused but also think it's for the best. Someday I will not hurt any longer but that day isnt today. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 5:19:58 AM | aww romeo i know its esaier said than done but in time you will be happier how long ago did this happen???
movin on to me means u dont ave to jump into another relationship
it seems like to me that girl is confused her self n dont take it the wrong way but some girls like to keep to the bad boys and cant cope with a decent guy
as u know all the other women say it she is mad to giv u up !!!
You seem to know u have done the right thing hun .. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:14:43 AM | | Some women dwell on the past and hurt so much they can't see what is right in front of them. They'd rather be the dumper than the dumpee. When things start to get serious, the ghosts of the past appear and these women bolt for the nearest exit before they get hurt. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:57:03 AM | I have been in her situation and I can see what she is doing...She wants to be with u but she is probably having a tough time understang that some really cares about her and wont abuse her in anyway...Sometimes when u have had a hard childhood and/or been in abuseive relationships it is easy to think love and abuse go hand in hand...You have come along and will show her that u really care about her yet she cant comprehend how much u care cos u arent abusing her...She is a little lost without the abuse...I was eactly the same for a while...Be patient with her if u have her number call her and ask how she and the kids are...Good Luck | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:29:35 PM | | marnie21, ahhh those bad boys....lol......women love them and shite on the decent guys....knowing that , why would guys be anything other that cruel to women.. I wasnt brought up that way so I guess i will always lose out to the bad boys of the world | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:31:45 PM | disturbedangel1976,
She had to have seen I was a good person ....i mean she had have known I would never hurt her......at least I thought I made it clear I wasnt like that | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:46:03 PM | your angel babe,
I cant relate with that because of my upbringing but it makes me sad for her. I feel bad that she thinks thats they way life should be. But I think i should just stay away from her for awhile. I just wish she would have realized I was a good man. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:59:51 PM | romeo
all us women aint like that.. the bit i cant understand is she knew what u was like b4 she knew u was a good guy b4 she asked u out ... i think u have done the right thing by leavin it atm
but trust me hang on in there good things comes to those that wait !!! | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/23/2008 7:53:22 AM | | I'm concerned about what happens when one of the ex's gets out of jail and tracks down her and his child sleeping in your house. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/23/2008 8:30:33 AM | I'm late to the discussion..
Some women are just not grown up enough to have a good, healthy relationship.
You owe it to yourself to recognize ono of those infantile brats (with multiple daddies) and choose someone who has her act together instead.
Woman who has the strength to take care of self, which includes own child(ren), and doesn't "need" you, but "wants" you is simply better adjusted to being your partner.
You did the right thing by walkking away.
Best of luck | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/23/2008 8:44:32 AM | She probably does see that you are a good person but because of her past she can't accept in her mind that you are a true good guy and won't hurt/leave her. When someone has been in a pattern of abusive relationships, sometimes it is hard for them to view things in a positive light. They in a way set themself up for failure.
You could keep things on a friendly level for now with her and see if she comes around. She however has to work out her own demons before you two can have a healthy relationship. | |
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| question for single moms
Posted: 11/23/2008 1:36:41 PM | don't have to worry about it now since we no longer go out......I wasnt worried about it....I can hold my own. | |
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