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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 2:35:34 PM | | I probably wouldn't date anyone who's lifestyle prior to meeting me was defined by having group sex on a regular basis, but if it was a one off experience, then i wouldn't really care, because it doesn't mean it's something they enjoyed enough to want to do again and again like a fetish....in your case, she admitted to being 'embarrassed' about it, so why would you judge her for making a 'mistake' that she regrets and question having a relationship with her.....she seems imo, honest and trusted you enough to confide in you, maybe it would have been better if she didn't say anything at all, and just kept the past as the past, but she did, so why not just look at it as 'better the devil you know', and appreciate the fact she was upfront and honest, even though she didn't need to be....... | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 5:59:56 PM | | Seems to me if she was so embarrassed about it she wouldnt be telling people that she done it. It would be her secret not to be shared with others especially men. Maybe she wanted to see if the idea would interest you? If I were a man I would move on to someone with a bit more dignity. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 6:09:49 PM |
What is the qualitative difference between having had sex with 3 men at once and having had sex with 3 men separately?
About the same as a person who's had 20 partners before they they meet you, as opposed to someone who had sex with 10 people before they meet you and 10 while they're with you. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 6:43:01 PM |
About the same as you trying to stuff 3 chipolte burritos in your mouth at once instead of eating them one at a time.
Somehow chipotle sauce doesn't do the image justice, perhaps, sour cream.... or mayonaisse? It looks the part and gets everywhere. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 7:47:48 PM | " Should I allow this incident to prevent me from pursuing more of a relationship with this woman?"
Why not ? And so what ? She did this before she met you not during . Unless your closet is skeleton free it's in the past . if you are in fear of disease gently suggest a STD and HIV test . Take them together .
If this girl's swing days are over then you have nothing to worry about | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 8:38:18 PM | EVERYONE has a past..... and who is to judge whats right and whats wrong ? If you can go to sleep at night and have no regrets about the actions and choices that you have willingly made or participated in, then thats all that matters !! 
No one is perfect, and no one lives in a perfect world , thats what makes every one of us unique !!!  | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 8:51:33 PM | | Its just sex. Its not like she murdered anyone, or abused children. There alot worse women you could have dated than one who's had, OH MY GOD, sex with 3 men at the same time. Thats just my opinion. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/19/2008 10:12:23 PM | well... it is the 21st century and women have the right to make a "mistake" if they want. If I would stay with would just sort of depend on several factors... I mean did it happen 3 years ago? or 3 months ago? what sort of decision making ability does she have today? Does she seem to have a lot of "mistakes" she's embarrassed about? Does she have a lot of drama in her life? Is she stable with work? Friends? Family?
I mean like people have said... You don't date someones past... But I would approach it and her with a little reserved caution... I wouldn't necessarily see it as the "writing on the wall" or anything... but it would cause me to open my eyes
Also... I think I would take a look at how serious are you guys are for clues as to how I would feel about this... I mean did she fessed up after just a couple of dates and it just came out verses a couple of months of serious dating and she wanted to make sure to clear the air... I mean if you guys are serious and she told you that's one thing... But if it just came out after a couple of weeks of dating I'd stop and wonder why she would say anything
Like a lot of things this isn't a cut & dry sort of thing... People does stupid crap all the time so I wouldn't judge her to harshly... But on the flip side if I was her I would have kept my mouth shut... I mean I'm not looking down on her for what she did... But I just know people tend to judge things pretty harshly when it comes to sex stuff | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 1:13:10 AM | I dunno about whether or not it was a mistake but when it cums to genitals and heave hoe.. it makes alot more sense for there to be one extremely satisfied female and three sleepy dwarfs than the other way around ... let's face it .. if you are going to use men as dildos .. yah don't need to worry about recharging their batteries .. yah just yell next !!! From the logics of a physiological standpoint(no pun) numerous ... male salami slappings is going to satisfy everyone at the sub race ....
My take on your date is a bit different ... here goes..
I would be more concerned dating someone that does not desire to actually form a relationship before playing slap the bad bad monkey .. as this is an individual who may have difficulty forming deep connections which spells .. someone who may act and react on impulse behaviour alone without consequence and will likely repeat this behaviour if they don't get some help. It is an illness and it is very prevalent in our society even though they know it is wrong,they feel horrible for doing it ..they react completely on impulse .. alot of people who are bipolar will take action without consequence. My guess is that because this behaviour is dangerous, i.e. she could easily have been assaulted and faces the possibility of contracting STD's and likely acted on this offer immediately without giving it alot of thought spells someone who is in dire need of counselling to explore what is going on as to why she acted out something that could "KILL" her. If her mindset is to act out sex without any emotional bonding ... she will likely repeat this pattern ...and this site is full of people who cannot form deeper bonds than six inches.. so if I were you I would say that your date needs a date with a psychologist and then date when they know that they are 100 percent emotionally available to themselves to bond ...clearly by communicating this to you she is not ..
She is not a bad person, she just makes impulsive decisions that may ultimately kill her and possibly you , if she does not get some help with why her brain reacts to experiencing something very dangerous so impulsively .. I am guessing some self esteem issues due to unresolved childhood trauma ... no one whole and capable of understanding the danger would place themselves in harms way without coming from a place of very low self worth ... I think that unless she opts for help, I would stay away.. she has work to do before she can understand this fully . | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 2:50:20 AM | I tend to trust people until they give me a reason not to.
Yes, stuff like this can be harsh on the ol' ego, especially if you've lead more of a vanilla life... but whatever.
Also, the thing that bothers me about this is that the way this was told makes it sound like this was 3 or 4 guys that she didn't even know. If that's the case, I think it says something about the type of person she is. While I could let the act go... if it WAS strangers, I would assume that we had VERY different views on sex.
But then again, it's all academic, isn't it? I could say that--- but if you really like her, and she's clean, why leave it alone over something that is in the past?
All depends on what you think. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:38:00 AM | Oh come on people, so she admits to him that this happened while she was in Vegas, we don't get all the little details that really seem to matter to everyone, does she do it a lot, does she do it often, was it the first time, was she drunk? on and on....
I mean if you dated a lady and she admited that in the last week she had sex with 4 men some would be a little taken back, if you dated a lady and she said she had sex with 4 men in the last month, most men would be thinking am I going to get lucky tonight?
But you meet a lady who says, I had sex with 4 men at once while in Vegas and your freaking out...why? Shes honest, she confided in you. OK so maybe she likes the group thing and was seeing how you respond, maybe she was fishing for shock value to see if your anal.
But I love how people make comments about did she know them, etc, I don't know a man around who if he had a chance with three or four women at once that would pass on playing around with them. No one is saying that protection wasn't used and that she picked up 4 guys off the street that are homeless, bisexual IV drug users...LOL Besides thats really not the point.
There are plenty of men and women on this site that have had sober and drunk sex with more men than they want to admit and I am sure out of all those people there are more than a few they wish they never had sex with.
But really if you started a thread that said, "oops I had sex with a man I didn't know on the first date" no one would really be bashing anyone at all, why? Well most of us at some point have done that, and some have done it often....but you change the thread too "I had sex with 4 men at once one night" and the morality police show up to arrest you...what a bunch of crap. At what point do you get to be an adult and do what makes you happy if your single and it doesn't hurt anyone else?
Tell you what, I would rather date someone thats is open to talk to me and that has done that and then decided if its something they want to do again or not than someone who has it on a list of things to in life or lies about it. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:00:40 AM | | What it is most disturbing is that she felt guilty enough to tell the OP this... There are things that some of us just do not want to know about. As long as a person's physical and mental health is not compromised then there is no reason to admit something like this...The past is the past.. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:21:00 AM | | I'm thinking it is very strange that anyone would be offended or put off by the idea of four people having sex together at the same time. It's widely known to happen. It has happened before many times, is probably happening right now (but obviously not at your house, or mine) and it will certainly happen again in the future. Is the idea here that people who have sex in numbers greater than two are bad people? Or is it the sex that is a bad deed? Or is your imagination constrained somehow to assume that the foursome was sleazy, disease infested, degrading and Satanic? I prefer to think they were good people having fun and everyone came away with good memories and nothing else. This talking about forgiveness, mistakes, and the rest of treating it like she is a sinner in need of, or undeserving of, your approval and forgiveness is kind of disgusting in my view. We each have our views. You may think her behavior sick, I may think your reactions to it sick. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:31:57 AM | What good is confessing or admitting something like this.....If I were the OP, I would be more upset about her telling me about this act then the fact that she actually did this act..Why did she feel the need to tell the OP this?? Why do people constantly destroy certain perceptions of themselves and then think that everything is going to be okay tomorrow. Could you imagine laying beside her after she just told you this??? Her saying Oh by the way I hooked up with 3 people at the same time and it was good and I had fun but I feel bad and so on and so on......if I hooked up with 3 women at one time the last thing I would be" feeling" is guilty...   | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:38:12 AM | I'm thinking it is very strange that anyone would be offended or put off by the idea of four people having sex together at the same time
I would be badly offended. Just becuaes its widely known to happen does not in any way make it right.
This talking about forgiveness, mistakes, and the rest of treating it like she is a sinner in need of, or undeserving of, your approval and forgiveness is kind of disgusting in my view. We each have our views. You may think her behavior sick, I may think your reactions to it sick.
If it was mistake and she is so embarrassed about it she would not be telling people. I think people who are willing to do it would naturally say the ones who dont do it or accept it are sick. However in my eyes its the other way around. | |
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| Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men?
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:42:12 AM | ok something to think about ..and me and my wife discussed this last night ...
first Me was sorta a black sheep so to speak ...yea I confess ..i sowed a few wild oats ...ok a lot of wild oats..ok i was a slut ..I have had threesomes foursomes and moresomes ... i have been to rock concerts and on road trips with a girl with flowers in her hair in a Volkswagon van ..i have been to motorcycle rallies and swinger parties
but I am married now and only want one woman ...I only want to sleep with one woman ...I only want to look at one woman ...i only want to talk about one woman
I have friends my age that while i was painting the Continent..were being responsible..and dating one girl ...when around these guys I want to talk about motorcycles and fishing and sports ....they want to talk about women other than their wives and they want to talk about what woman will put out ...when we go to bike rallies or sporting events i want to look at motorcycles and watch the sports they want to gawk at the scantly clad women ..even when their wives are there which hurts them
what Im trying to say is I got all that out of my system when young ..they may never grow up
or thats my take on it...again Im not proud of doing all the stuff i did but its done and in the past
my wife knows i was not a saint ...but i spare her any details
however when I was young ..I one time felt the need to confess some of my past to a lover ...BIG MISTAKE....HUGE...HUGE...MISTAKE ...what they don't know won't hurt YOU | |
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