| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:12:09 AM | Most everyone I know that is older than me or my age have have higher standards, not lower standards.. thus the reason why we are still single...If we had lower standards then I am sure it would be much easier to find a match.    | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 52 | |
| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:45:57 AM |
I wouldn't necessary say that people have to lower their standards when they get older. But many people might change or adjust their standards. There's a difference.
Exactly. When I was younger, I mostly dated tall athletic / muscular white men. When I got older, I became more flexible. I began dating more black men, shorter men, skinny men etc. I never felt like I was lowering my standards when I dated these men. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:36:14 AM |
What's the male word for hag?
That would be "geezer".
its pretty much assured that to some people ...if they live long enough all women will become hag's ..but not in the eyes of the geezer that loves them ..and the same is true in reverse
so if we lower our standards on looks ..psychical attributes... from our perspective we will never know ...when I was in my teens and twenties ...teenage girls looked desirable to me... after i reached my thirties they were still cute but not desirable they were kids ...now that I am in my fifties grandma is looking mighty fine ... i still see beauty in teenagers but i just dont see me with one
now if we lower our standards on personality ..woe be unto us
the problem as I see it ..and I admit I am looking from a man's eyes ... older women have been jaded from bad experiences to the point they see red flags when none exist ..Yes you have to put your heart on the line and it is going to get stepped on from time to time ...but given the awkwardness of meeting someone new ...and being under the microscope ...and us guys basic nature to stick our foot in our mouth ...me thinks many of us get dumped before given a chance .. I have honestly met women so busy looking for little red flags that they cant see one as big as the house ... stop looking for red flags ...if he is a jerk it will be obvious.. or take him to meet your friends and if they say he is a jerk ...he is a jerk ... | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:47:13 AM | Exactly. When I was younger, I mostly dated tall athletic / muscular white men. When I got older, I became more flexible. I began dating more black men, shorter men, skinny men etc. I never felt like I was lowering my standards when I dated these men.
Boston, I'd say it was more that your preferences become more broad or you become interested in more of a wide spectrum of types. I think in life we all do that based on age and experience. I don't think that's settling so much as gradually being more well rounded or gaining more dimension in your choices (or we go from what we think we should be into to what we're really into - we care less what others think of our choices).
I think over time when people say they have higher standards as they age, they mean they tolerate less in how they get treated or with what type of person they will date - it's less physical and more internal. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:12:16 AM | Women are just like fine wine..the more mature ones have the best taste.. My standards have gone up and up since I have gotten older. Including when I am at the bar or wherever. Never lower your standards.. Of course expectations and standards get confused.. Some have high standards but low expectations...Some have high expectations but lower standards...Usually with age the standards grow higher, but the expectations grow lower.An example is such and such is what I want but this one happened to say yes so I am going home with her tonight..   | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:03:11 PM | I don't think you should lower your standards if you don't want to. I will probably lower mine a little as I get older if I don't find someone.
I am 21.....................I want Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and take me to his castle
When I am 30..........I'll take Prince Nice Guy riding in on a beige horse and taking me to his mansion
When I am 40.........Any nice guy with a horse will do and he doesn't have to be riding it and he only needs to own his home.
When I am 50.........Forget the horse just bring me a nice guy who at least rents a nice apartment
When I am 60.......A semi nice guy with a golf cart who lives in a trailer will be fine
When I am 70.......Just bring me the horse, forget the guy. A nice barn will be okay.
When I am 80.......I'll go to a diner and flirt with the waiter bringing me hamburger | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:11:36 PM | I don't think it is the age that defines us if we lower our standards. I think we are more honest about it than when younger.
I believe it has to deal more with someone not wanting to be alone more than anything...I don't think age is a factor as much as wanting to be alone and thinking they have less time. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:29:46 PM |
Why must we lower our expectations and wants just to be with someone...
I don't know if it is true for you. I have noticed some women my age (most especially older), have been married since very young, and have kids. Upon divorce they simply revert or regress to the age they were married (the last time they were single, so reverting to learned behavior), so their standards, expectations, and ideals are based on a much younger ideology, intelligence, attitude, and personality. Without the temperance or wisdom of the intervening or 'married years.' As though they never matured or aged. That they are the same person they were physically, mentally, emotionally, and their ideal partner is the same.
So IMO it's not so much about lowering as being realistic.
Why must nasty little comments have to be made about lowering standards to anyone..........no matter what the reason someone might think they should?
I don't know the comments. Maybe you are taking them as a nasty when it's simply the normal words or method of communication a person uses to convey their ideas, adding emotionally charged words to lend credence and emphasis.
Maybe some people think you/they/the people having 'high standards' aren't being realistic so are playing the "you don't think like us, let's exclude you from our group and vilify you," game to make themselves feel better. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:04:57 PM | | Bobisherenow – and the same for you, Mindy – always keep those standards and expectations high!! I would have to say that as I’ve… ahh-hhh… gained experience… that I have actually RAISED my standards. And, trust me, they weren’t low to begin with! Not that I’m all that – or ever was – but that I refuse to allow someone into my life that doesn’t make it better. Having been divorced – twice – I’m going to try and avoid repeating such mistakes. And it’s not a question of ego or anything of the kind – I will compromise… I will just never settle. Life is too precious to waste time on anyone – friend, family, or lover – that doesn’t complement your life. The people that I allow into my life are all about love, understanding, compassion, honesty, and other virtues. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 2:13:18 PM | The bashing you talk of seem to be quite common becuase of many peoples ideas and perceptions of what they think is right and what they see as wrong or odd. often many people comment and dont even really thing about the subject well of even about what they are saying. The world and media is always busy telling people that once we get over 30 we are too old but its such a load of crap.
30 - 40 dam we have usually had enough time by that age to think for ourselves and make some better decisions in life and we certainly know how to enjoy ourselves. I think your right anyway no need to lower standards, far better to find the person who make you smile and feel great. | |
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fit50s
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Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 61 | |
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| My ex is 12 years younger than I,wears the same size Levis she did in high school
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:48:01 PM | I plan on raising my standards.
Young people can lower their standards if they want - they have more time to screw up and/or correct things. I have very little time left and don't have time for mistakes.
Assuming I am soon to be dead - why would I LOWER my standards?
PS what does it matter what size someone's Levis are?
The real question is "can she compete with me in a farting contest?"
I have to have a few laughs on my death bed. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:36:00 PM | | You don't have to lower your standards. I did in my last relationship and I was not happy! I was just going to settle for the sake of being in a relationship. I found that I was not happy and it is not worth it. It is better to be alone. He was not worth my time at all. | |
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| Changing perceptions and perspectives
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:46:45 PM | As you grow older and, hopefully, more mature in your relations with others you have a deeper understanding what is really important to you. In your teens looks are very important. You are insecure and are more concerned with what your friends will think. Remember that girl/boy in high school you liked but she/he was too fat/skinny/tall/short etc. So, now you're 30 and you wonder what the problem was! Did you lower your standards? No, you grew up. I'm not talking about the bar scene and hooking up, I've never done that so I'm not qualified to comment.
In the real world looks are still important but other things are important too. At 20 you want someone who is wild and fun to party with. Most of us grow out of that. So she/he cheats on you sometimes, as long as the sex is great for you. So she/he doesn't have a steady job, as long as the rent gets paid by someone. Then you start getting tired of all the crap. Your perceptions change and you start thinking about long term, dependable, faithful. Looks and goodtimes become a part of it not all of it.
That's not lowering your standards, that's raising them. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:47:59 PM | It is an Honor to have you disagree with me ..technically you are right ..there are more women than men when we get older ..but I would hope you just want one ...the bag limit is one and with all the people in this world ..any of us should be able to bag just one ..no matter how old we are
I look around my neighborhood and I see a lot of older women living alone,if they bagged some men he got away or die. So am I lowering my standards or just being realistic, am I willing to settle for just anybody just to keep me company in my old age? No, I am looking for that someone, in my age group who is compatible to me.
Meanwhile, I live my life, if he should show up, then it is all good , if he does not than I continue to live my life.
Years ago when I was in my 30, 40 I never thought I would one day be this old. I was living my life, being a single parent, going back to college to get my degree, working two jobs and mostly making sure my children grew up to be decent, caring people. I acomplish all the above mention goals. So now do I just settle ? | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:54:59 PM | [ am 21.....................I want Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and take me to his castle
When I am 30..........I'll take Prince Nice Guy riding in on a beige horse and taking me to his mansion
When I am 40.........Any nice guy with a horse will do and he doesn't have to be riding it and he only needs to own his home.
When I am 50.........Forget the horse just bring me a nice guy who at least rents a nice apartment
When I am 60.......A semi nice guy with a golf cart who lives in a trailer will be fine
When I am 70.......Just bring me the horse, forget the guy. A nice barn will be okay.
When I am 80.......I'll go to a diner and flirt with the waiter bringing me hamburger
That's being realistic!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:33:30 AM | | Whether it's because of age or another reason, we 'lower our standards' when no one we want will date us. The problem occurs if we lower them so far that we can't stand to even be in the same room as them without wanting them to just disappear off of the face of the earth. | |
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| To raging heart-on
Posted: 11/22/2008 7:38:50 AM | you're saying women of 60 who go after younger men assume men would f--k anything with a hole...the assumption being why the freak would a younger guy want to do an older woman...
why would you assume a girl in her 20s would want to do you...aren't you about 20 years older than her? and...if that relationship lasted...I'd say you'd be about 60-something when she was forty-something!!!!
Lemme tell ya...us chicks aren't looking to purposely, mindfully, look for someone waaaaay older than us either. Unless you want to go out with the younger chick lookng for her sugar-daddy.
Funny how guys think that younger girls just want to date them cause they're so hot when they age.
Yeah, that's it.
Ha! | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/22/2008 7:40:17 AM |
That's being realistic!!!!!!!! ...REALLY???
I am S.O.L than..
When I am 40.........Any nice guy with a horse will do and he doesn't have to be riding it and he only needs to own his home.
Neither have a horse, or own my home....
When I am 50.........Forget the horse just bring me a nice guy who at least rents a nice apartment
Well, at least I'll be in better position with a 50 years old women's..LOL | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/22/2008 8:35:38 AM | Kirota,
I agree with you completely. Whatever relationship you want with a person there must be value in it otherwise why bother. Life is too short! This goes for friendships, romantic relationships or that very special someone. Never sell yourself short but be aware of what you really want and what the other person wants as well. In this way everyone will be happy and your find those realtionships more fulfilling. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:11:27 AM | There is no reason just because your a certain age that you should settle or lower your standards on whom you should date.
Now if you once were a catch or a good looking handsome man and now you've say gained 100 lbs or just don't dress like you could. Then in that case you just aren't going to attract the attention of the best of looking people.
Yes many say oh personality is so much more important than looks but its the entire package. | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:15:39 AM | The more mature we are the higher standards we have. I think it comes from having lived life some already and not wanting to repeat the same mistakes of the past.
I'm personally much more in tune with my wants and needs than ever before. I'm not about to settle for just a warm body, play the field as an activity or date just for the sake of having something to do on a Saturday night.
I'd also prefer a mature hen over a spring chicken any day! | |
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shy092
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Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 74 | |
| To raging heart-on
Posted: 11/23/2008 12:16:45 PM | "Funny how guys think that younger girls just want to date them cause they're so hot when they age.
Yeah, that's it.
Ha!"
Wait, hold on.... ISN'T that it?
:p
(All of my chasing of 20-somethings and the ego I had nice and snugly at my side.... :( ) | |
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| Why does anyone have to lower their standards because of age?
Posted: 11/23/2008 4:27:16 PM |
It also has the advantage of leaving the supercilious who are more than half way to hagdom to revel in their aloneness.
I'd say it'd be a real trick to pick up "hotties" if you're a dead ringer for Ed McMahon and not loaded with cash... or the phallic enhancements that some men call sportscars
::shrug:: some of us have options to choose from, some have to take what can be purchased.
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