| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 9:02:53 AM | | rock Doubt it, heck you're only 32. I'm sure you realize your separated status may have something to do with that. Also if I were you I'd get rid of any prefer not to say, that usually means yes. If you're separated, be relaxed and keep it friends and you'll probably have better luck. | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 9:38:51 AM | First of all, I just don't understand standing someone up. If it is something I don't want done to me, I will do my best not to do it to someone else.
By the time I meet someone for coffee, I have usually emailed, chatted and then spoken on the phone with the woman. If I am on call at work, I arrange for us to talk ½ hour before we are to meet to make sure that I haven't been called in.
The only acceptable reason to break a date on short notice is a family emergency and, even then, it only takes a minute to call.
Finally, I only establish an email connection with one or two women in a week. Some weeks, there are none. By the time we have chatted and phoned, I have invested some time in this and I obviously think there is hope that this meeting could lead to a date.
It would be interesting to hear from someone who has stood someone up and find out their reasons. | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 9:48:18 AM | stone I agree, would be interesting to hear from the standeruppers but doubt that would happen. What can they possibly say? I'm just completely rude and inconsiderate and was raised by a pack of wild monkeys so have no manners or social skills whatsoever. I'm a cruel mean SOB who enjoys torturing and just being mean to nice people, leading them on gives me a sadistic thrill. Other than that kind of baldazz honesty, it would be a string of pathetic sorry excuses.
Oh stone, hats off to you for your gentlemanly behavior. Surely an example. | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 10:26:32 AM | well every bone in my body is rude, inconsiderate, sadistic, and I am mean as all hell. Like to make the ladies mad. makes me tingle with a joy that is traveling thru my loins. yep nothing like saying I would be there and never show call and make another attempt to do it again. yep thats me. LOL
See it is always polite to use what was given to you. we all have one a mouth to speak with. the cel phone works great and the landline just as easy. whats a couple of minutes to call. If nothing else at least with in a reasonable time to explain what had happened. For there are times when one can not make a call. depending on the situation. But only manners give way to at least give an explination as to why one could not make it. whether it is man or woman.
Moundpuppy | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 5:34:39 PM | ...bottom line, rude simpletins suck.
For some of us, being single is just a part of our daily grind. We may be too busy, unwilling to humor some putz just for a date, we may just have too much self respect for the foolishness of children. At any rate, I'd like to think it isn't beyond anyone's decency to either keep our word or respect another person enough to let them know we will not be joining them for the date as per our arrangment.
Has the value of honesty really been downgraded to the point of not using it at all? | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/3/2005 7:32:16 PM | yeah spicey there are people out there that have no honesty at all. Thats the worse part of it. all it takes is respect for the other person and oneself.
Moundpuppy | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/8/2005 12:44:02 PM | Here's an update to this pathetic tale, lol.
I just wonder if this guy (Ramon) is really a high school kid trying to fake it as an adult. AARGH! What a goober.
Today, the secretary and I had barely an hour to escape for lunch before the workstudy had to leave for class. We hadn’t been to our favorite restaurant (where I met Ramon) for almost two weeks and it’s close, traffic is easy so . . . I might add that we'd been one time before this but Ramon was working the back of the restaurant and I was spared seeing him. This time I wasn’t so lucky. Ramon was working the front and he took us to our table. I hung back and let my lunchmate, Billie, talk to him, and as he was putting our menus on the table he said, “We have a buffet today,” which is one of his usual bullshit jokes, a play on Chinese restaurants, blah blah blah, and Billie indulged him by oohing and ahing over the imaginary buffet while I slid into the booth, gave him a blank stare and picked up my menu. One of my favorite waiters, Gustavo, gave me a little wave from the neighboring table then sauntered over to us. Yes, thank God he was our waiter. I gave Gustavo’s arm a squeeze and was asking him about his upcoming wedding which I believe is a little over a month from now and suddenly these two hands come from behind covering my eyes. Another of Ramon’s usual jokes, only he normally does it to Billie, not me. I gingerly removed his hands, saying "Oh, I wonder who this could be" in a complete monotone while Gustavo laughed and went to get our drink orders. Ramon bounded off in another direction and despite all effort my cheeks flamed up. The little shit. Thinks he can just joke around like nothing happened. So much like high school (or hell, ELEMENTARY school) boys. I’d have been fine if he’d been cool and formal, but to goof around? Burns meeeeeeeeeee up. I mean if his goal was to totally diss me then DO that, don't act all smarmy and force me to either be a lady and grin and bear it or act pissy in public, which I will not do. Grrrrr.
When Gustavo brought our bills he paused and said, “You’re name is ‘Meleeeesa’ right?” “That’s right.” I said, “What, I miss two weeks and you forget my name already?” His eyes got large and he said, “I think I had, but I guess not!” I don’t know what the heck that was about, except maybe to get the name right when he teased Ramon later. Thankfully when it was time to leave Ramon was seating people and the owner checked us out. I did not want to be stuck making conversation with him.
Bleh. Can’t even flirt with Gustavo without the jerk horning in. He has some gall.
Now I have indigestion, lol! I am SO gullible and trusting of the good in people that I even entertained the notion that he might notice that I was not a happy camper and call to finally apologize . . . almost a month later. But nope, nuthin. Whut a cah-reep!
Thanks for listening.
Rap | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 7/11/2005 11:56:41 PM | First things first Rap....had it been me I wouldn't have been standing you up in the first place. I saw your pictures and read your profile. I would never have stood you up. I would probably have busted my rear to get there EARLY lol.........
Don't let it get to you too much. It's his loss---let someone who will appreciate your company reap the benefits of your attention.
Mark  | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 4/8/2007 6:51:18 PM | | I got stood up last night! As it turned out the guy had a very good reason, a family emergency, however, how long does a quick call take. Understandably, he was very upset and probably not thinking about a date at that time. The thing that upset me more about the entire thing, is that he didn't even bother to message me the next day to explain. I contacted him, and then he told me the reason. I sent him another message to tell him how I felt about getting all dolled up and spending the time to do that for him to be stood up and now he's not even bothering to talk to me at all. His loss I guess. Connie | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:27:46 PM | Wow, four pages of comments and every single person has completely missed the point.
We're in our 30s now. We are more mature than we were in our last decade. We are financially secure. We have many more resources in our lives. We can afford to have a hitman assassinate him. So, the problem is?
 | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:28:23 AM | Age seems to have nothing to do with being stood up. I have been stood up more in my 30s than I ever was in my 20s. I was stood up just last week and it really pissed me off. The other person just did not see it as that big of a deal, and I find that attitude to be much more prevalent than it used to be.
In the above case the person was actually going to be very late, but I'm not sitting around waiting on someone half the night because my time is not important to them. Standing people up or being excessively late is just telling other people that their time is not important. A lot of people have no concern for anyone other than themselves. | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:22:16 AM | I have had this experience several times in different forms.
One was a guy whom emailed me to say his x needed him to keep his son (not on his day) because she had something to do, so he said he always gives in to keep the peace, so date begone. I have had afew experiences with guys with kids that say they will "fit me in when they are in the area on the way to pick up their kids. I love kids, I have 3 grown children, but find this alittle rude. He basicaly implied he won't go out of his way, hmmmm
TOTAL STAND UP :I had been conversing with a local guy and asked if he wanted to meet me at a nice local place for happy hour. He had been comming on pretty strong, so I thought it was time to meet in person. He said yes, he would take care of the things he needed to do and meet me, he seemed excited about it. I asked him to call and let me know if he could not make it or any reason. He said he would. I sat at the resturant/bar waiting, for hours, I tried calling but he wouldnt' answer his phone or the message. I had my drinks and ate appetizers, I spent about 2 hours there, then went home. The manager sencing I had been stood up brought me a lovely appetiser for free, looking like he was trying to make up for it, and it helped alittle a act of kindness. I have seen him online alot since and have never had an apology or explanation. At this age I find it just plain weird.  | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:12:25 AM |
Maybe a good excuse was there but you still have to call. To not call and not show up, you had better be dead or at least missing a major organ.
I agree 100%. In today's age of email, cell phones, and texting, there is little excuse for childish behavior.
I started dating a man, who persued me very heavily in the beginning, then all of a sudden backed off to one or two instant messages a day and every time we made plans, he would no show/ no call, and get mad at ME for making a big deal about it. To top it all off, I asked for company on a very emotionally stressful day and when I was finally able to get in touch with him to ask if he was coming over, he said, "Well let me see if my roomate has already made plans for me to do something." Then 2 hours later I call him and he says, "I don't have the gas money." He later has the nerve to get angry when I end the relationship. | |
|
| |
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:33:09 AM | | It no longer amazes me how grown mature humans can still act like immature cowardly plonkers. Spare him not another thought OP | |
|
| |
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:42:36 AM | "...a high school kid trying to fake it as an adult".
It's no surprise that there's a lot of "Children pretending to be Adults" at every adult age! Just accept the fact that you will run into these "Pretend Adults" from time-to-time.
The real lesson is how you choose to handle yourself:
Will you allow "Pretend Adults" treat you badly or will you just walk away and tell yourself that you deserve to be treated like an Adult? | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:01:32 PM | He should have let you know. This is the 21st century. there's phones everywhere.
The only reason he could not have called is that he himself is in a coma after being run over by a truck or something... | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:14:48 PM | Hey I read the update.
That thing he did in the restaurant? That's clearly a neanderthal game he's playing.
Really, best thing to deflate people like that is to pretend like they don't exist. Gosh, you allowed him to cover your eyes and play his usual shennanigans? wtf?
This is exactly why women get screwed over. You gals just let jerks get away with murder sometimes.
On the other hand... only you know this guy. Maybe you're good friends or something. Sometimes, we let our friends slide even though they did us wrong. I know I do.
In my experience though, I have had people who THINK we're good enough friends pull a stunt on me that is not cool and expect me to allow them a pass because "we're good friends". That kind of assumption leads to disaster for them.
 | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:26:57 PM | ....getting stood up at any age is a real drag.....I was actually stood up twice the first yr I was single, aaarrgggggghhhhhhh.........I got in the habit of bringing a book.....then it looks like you are havin your own little night out....if thats how it turns out!!!!
One time though ,I thought I was stood up but I was wrong!...I waited 90 min. ....2 glasses of wine later (with my book) and there was a "WTF" email waiting for me...lol...apparently ,we were misconstrued and he was waiting for a final arrangement from me......it's all good.....we are good friends now!............love and luck........ | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:30:53 PM | | Funny thing is, when I was younger - in my teens - I never got stood up and I don't remember anyone I knew getting stood up. It seems it's happening more and more these days... and usually by the older folks. What's going on? Is it a new trend to be inconsiderate? There's just no excuse to stand someone up. NONE. | |
|
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:10:40 PM | Getting stood up sucks! I had this happen to me last night, and though he didnt have my number, he could have left a msg online after all we did spend hours conversing that way.
I know that sometimes things happen that we have little or no control over, but common courtesy dictates we contact the other person as soon as time allows. It has been over 24hrs and I have yet to hear anything. | |
|
| |
| |
| Getting Stood Up . . . At OUR Age?
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:24:25 PM | I have been lucky and haven't been stood up, but I am new to the whole online dating thing so who knows! But I would say just don't contact him again no matter how tempting it might be to say your piece. I think that will let him know it made little difference to you, which besides the nasty surprise in front of your friends, it shouldn't. Although he obviously put you low on the priority list probably just because of how easy it is to disappear on this thing, he will probably expect some reaction from you and has a great explanation. Just scratch him off, don't take it personally, and keep on tickin!
This gets me thinking about the problems that come with being 'anonymous'. People definately say and do things through this site that they wouldn't do if they were easily traceable. In smaller ways, I do too. I would never ignore someone that said hi to me on the street for example, but I have ignored messages on this thing if I get no sense of who the person is or feel any kinda creepiness. But would you not bother to phone someone to cancel a POF meeting if something came up? Well, i guess if he thought he was going to get flack for it, it is just so easy to avoid, so I can see it. But then you know he isn't the type of person to accept responsibility, so hypothetically, you should be happy about it!  | |
|
Home
login 
but if you want quality they are very hard to catch
