| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/1/2008 5:10:05 PM | Well my name is Chuck and I have been a single father of three for three years now. I cant really explain except to say that in three years I have recieved less than three houndred dollars in toto since recieving custody. Part of that is I have custody because she "gave up" and sent the kids to live with me. She may take them back if I sued her??? Who knows?????? I do know that being a custodial DAD in this day and age is rare. Being one because my ex tried and failed is even better. Getting money out of her, because my GOD has blessed me with my prayer just does not seem "right." Good Luck to you.
PS Never talk to your kids about how bad she is. EVER. She is the kids MOM!! It is so hard to walk out, but in time it works so much better than "getting even, making her pay, ect..."
Chuck Montgomery
My Kids DAD | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/1/2008 6:06:38 PM | sorry montgomery
you should have taken mom to court....what you are saying is misleading ......
if you have your kids...then good for you..that is awesome....this DOES NOT mean the mother doesnt pay child support....
MY father got custody of me in the 80's.......it isnt impossimple...rare..yes...but you have proved yourself and does not mean you are not owed financial help by the mother. The only time I can see the Mother not being invloved financially, is if she NEVER sees them.
Are you saying she NEVER sees them.....If so, I CAN understand the no child support thing because she is forfeiting ALL rights...
Dont misslead this man.... | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/1/2008 6:20:48 PM | | I have had residency of my son since 2000. In that time his mother hasn't paid a single penny towards him and like you, when I raised the issue recently I was made to feel bad and embarrased by her for even suggesting such a thing...however, having given the matter a great deal of thought I feel its only right that she should contribute. If the roles were reversed I'm sure she would have been demanding payment from day 1. And as such I asked for a token contribution of £20.00 a week, she refused point blank, so passed the matter over to the CSA, on a point of principal really as I don't need the money and theyre now taking £312 a month direct from her wages...silly woman! | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/1/2008 8:51:46 PM | | For years now women have screamed for equal rights, well if a man has to pay then so should a woman. If the man doesn't pay, his but will be labeled a dead beat dad and thrown under the jail. Whats good for one is good for the other. I recieved custody of my son at 2 he is now 18 and I went for support to get her off my ass about stuff knowing she'd never keep it up and she didn't. Last count I'm still owed over 20'000. But I'm not pursuing for it. I even kept her from going to jail one time. Would she have done the same,HELL NO!!!!!! Its up to each individual to persue whats best for the situation. I was just happy to have had custody. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/2/2008 6:32:33 AM | | I believe that there is somewhat of a double standard.however I also did not ask for child support I decided that I would take care of my own kids just as if she hadn't left that was 13 years ago.We have a nice home and the kid's haven't needed for anything. I do however think that she should have done for them out of love and her own free will.For the most part that has not happened.My kids were so young at the time they do not really know different.It is her concience.If it had been reversed I could not have lived with myself. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:57:04 AM | See my ex is now 4 months behind on current child support. she has been working a new job since Oct 8th. She claims " I dont know where to send the money " yet Ive called the DOR and they sent out a income deduction notice to her job and nothing has happened yet.
They can't suspend her license since it has been already suspended still from failing to pay her tickets, hell she was already found guilty on one of her driving with a suspended license charges. The only thing they can do is toss her in jail.
She is a  . | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/3/2008 5:49:04 AM | | My ex pays child support, yet here in New Zealand its automatically done from the day couples split. Its a big thing over here making sure they pay up cause alot of ex partners head to Australia to avoid child support payments . Thing is my ex has been paying since day one and really I wouldn't careless is she stopped as she helps out in other ways for our son, but by law she has to keep paying till hes 18. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:02:12 PM | If she had the kids I am sure you would be paying child support.
does she not realise that the child support could be spent on the kids clothes? treats outtings, allowances, etc? Or even those great gifts you want to buy them but just cant afford?
And like most other people have said..no there is no double standard she just seems to be one of those women. Oi. So glad I aint one of them.
Good luck Buddy, and great job on being a good dad | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:07:59 PM | | I AM A SINGLE PARENT OF A 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER,AND IVE HAD HER FOR 5 YEARS, IVE ONLY ASK FOR CHILD SUPPORT OR HELP FROM HER TWICE AND HER REPLY WAS, YOU MAKE MORE THAN I DO! THATS NOT THE POINT! I DID NOT HAVE HER BY MYSELF! IF I TAKE TO CHILD SUPPORT RECOVERY ITS A LOT OF B/S WHY CANT THEY JUST OFFER US A LITTLE HELP! | |
|
| tuff row for you my friend
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:56:47 PM | | I live in Ga. The courts in Ga do not go after mothers...thats why when you google dead beat mom you find support groups and when you google dead beat dads you find attrny adds..never have thats why most moms dont pay....you could have your day in court and they could tell her to pay and catch up....but they will not make her do any thing...a slap on the wrist and Miss. so &so please do right...and thats it...at about three grand a session....when she still dont pay its back to court for more of the same...over and over....been there done that. havent seen my kid on Christmas in yrs....the court will do nothing to mothers. sorry dude. The only thing that keeps me going is that kids are smart and know who is looking out for their well being....they wont forget she didnt care. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:43:42 AM | It's completely outrageous to the point of ridiculousness. Does she actually hear the words that come out of her mouth?
Dont let her judgement bother you, you deserve a child support, so go and get it. Good luck with it. Users always try to make you feel guilty and they even believe their own mad views. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:29:07 PM | | I really have a problem with women who do not want to pay child support when the father's have custody. I pay my ex child support (the full percentage of what any parent would have to pay in my state). My kids choose to live with their dad because they did not want to change schools. It is my obligation as a parent to support my children. I even pay half of things that are not included in the divorce decree (like half of whatever activities my kids were involved with at the time). I do it for my children! | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/10/2008 7:32:02 PM | I'm going through this also. She left three years ago and left the children notes. She hasn't paid anything towards the children s support. The kids are lucky if they see her once every 8-10 weeks. This is her choice. I told her the children could visit anytime.
We were divorced and after the divorce she decided to go for the house and spousal support even though she is employed and earns $30,000. My lawyer says that she could end up paying nothing and I spousal support because I earn more than she does. It takes all I earn to keep the house and kids going. She even came out and said that she will not have to pay anything. Figure that out. I think there is a double standard.
She is the one missing out on such great kids. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/11/2008 6:28:46 AM | | Do not ask for the money , demand it legally , guarnishee her wages , men have had to pay up , go after the back alimony as well , with a good Solictor you will get what Your Kids deserve | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/11/2008 8:29:19 AM |
Are you saying she NEVER sees them.....If so, I CAN understand the no child support thing because she is forfeiting ALL rights...
She may have forfeited all rights, but she didn't forfeit all responsabilty. I dated a woman in this same situation. Was always talking how she would pay support if she had to... Untill her kid wanted to live with dad. Then.... " What kinda man makes a woman pay support" lol
Yes, it's a double standard. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/11/2008 9:36:08 AM | I'll keep this short and to the point. I am a separated single dad who has been raising our kids for seven years now while working full time. During that time their mother has very little to help in any way or form and I have never asked for child support. However, last month I told her that I was going to file for child support and her reply was "What kind of man would ask his kids mother to pay child support". What's up with that? A couple of years ago when I talked to her about helping out more I said, "If you were me you probably would have gone after me for child support right off the bat". She replied with "yeah, your right". Is there some kind of "unspoken" double standard going on here?
I have had a similiar problem. It creates more financial strain on me and my other relationships. The as dpart is when you have someone like that they pass that attitutde on to the children and do things that are not in the best interest of the children. For me, at least to this point I have chosen it in the childrens best interest not to go after the money. It isnt worth the blowback. My children are a little older now. One of them is 15 and the other 9. I may consider filing another order to show cause, but havent felt it necessary yet. | |
|
agrah
|
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 42 | |
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:06:14 PM | | This thread makes me so sad. In a world where women work and men have taken on a greater role domestically, we should be looking at the numbers and the character of person when it comes to support and custody issues. I know so many men that are better parents then then the woman but "traditionally" the kids get placed with the mother. I cannot believe the number of women that have abandoned their kids. I believe women need to pay their fair share. The point is not whether or not the custodial parent makes more money; the point is two people created that child, they both are responsible. The system is not perfect but it should be applied equally. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:47:07 PM | | lol Face it. When you were married she was the type who was like, "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine". lol I declined child support from my ex. I don't need or want her money. She still ask me for money all the time though. I do give it to her. She didn't have $ for groceries last month. She is the mother of our children so i'm not going to let her starve. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/3/2009 10:23:28 PM | Beholder
the only way a mother can legaly get out of paying child support is if she legaly gives up parental rights. If she decides not to come and se the kids but does not give up her parental rights legaly she is obligated to pay support. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/3/2009 10:31:11 PM | | My ex is suppose to pay me $200 a month in support. If I get 3 checks in a year I'm amazed. Regardless I could care less about it, I have my kiddo and that's all the matters to me. Not telling you that you should have that attitude, but yes if you have custody you should get support. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:18:10 PM | I'm proud to say that I get Child Support for my two kids every month. In my case the mother didn't have a choice the judge sent a request to her employer to deduct the funds and send them to me directly. Something screwed up and that didn't quite happen but she got the idea that if she didn't pay she would be subject to having to go to court and possibly jail time as well.
She even pays early! | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:42:43 AM | I would file as soon as possible. She knows she has to pay, she was just trying to guilt you out of filing. I have a friend who is a family lawyer, and she told me alot of non custodial mothers feel like they shouldn't be forced to pay. At the end of the day, you will get your support, but you might have trouble getting retroactive if you have not documented accurately how much time the kids are with you. I got trippped up on this point when I was in court.
For all the men who think that just having custody is fine and money is unimportant, guess what? You are robbing your children of a better life and more opportunities. Maybe that support can go for College tuition or Trade school or maybe it is just for new clothes that your kid could use. In a way that money belongs to your kids and is to be used on your kids. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:26:37 PM | Nope the system is a little skewed. I had a judge refuse to make her pay any support during our divorce and even made my kids go over a year without any.
I've been on both sides of the ball.
Unlike most I walked in with our oldest asking to pay my support.
I'm receiving only $30 a week for two kids right now and I hear she is pregant (God help the baby) and if she falls to part time I receive only $25 a month for BOTH.
I LOVE NY! Ok not really. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/4/2009 11:47:31 PM | There is no uspoken "double standard" it's right out in the open.
I just got custody of my daughter. Her mother and I make exactly the same amount of money. Her support assessment was less than 50% of what mine had been. The fact is that Fathers who get visitation, default at a rate of about 10-20% (most frequently due to lopsided support orders, or employement issues). Mothers who are ordered to pay Support default at a rate of closer to 90%.
The system is seriously broken. I've not recieved a dime in over three months (in fact since she was orderd to pay). She can keep her money. I'm now the guardian of my daughters future, and that is priceless. | |
|
| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:10:11 PM | Socity and the mindset of the judges, and lawyers is, of the view that mothers ,are the natural carers of children and that children are best reared with their mothers . They have this view because, judges and lawyers are mainly men who DONT spend much of their free time ,or life caring or being fathers to their own children, so they think all men are like them selves, playing golf wining n dining with their mates n getting their wifes to do all the domistic choes n looking after the kids. They and all kinds of professional people ie social workers , teachers, cant get their heads around the posability and FACT that ,their are mothers out their, who dont give a damm about their children, and have not got one motherly instinc in thier bones , where as their a minority, and I repeat a minority of very caring and loving fathers who are trying to raise their children alone , and also trying to instill good moral and fair principals into the mind of thier kids in order to make them good decent members of our socity , These kind of fathers who take on the sole role of rearing their children alone need to be admired, and they and their children shound not have to suffer financial hardship , just because the mother is TOO MEAN to give anything towards support. Some of these deadbeat mothers think that just by giving birth to their children then that thier contrubition to the child life so they feel they have fullfilled their parenting role and can clime to be the loving caring mother when it suits them, the true parent is the one who is always around to nurse a sick child n help them through life , Sorri People for the long speech    | |
|
Home
login 
