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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/17/2009 10:46:06 AM | I am on the paying side of things, I have a son that I pay CS for and that is a different mess all together, and then my two daughters with my ex wife. I was also ordered to pay spousal support to the ex wife. One entire paycheck a month goes out the door before I ever see a dime of it. Now I do not have a problem paying the CS, however; everytime my daughters need something, shoes, sports fees, equipment, school supplies, gifts for friends bday parties, school yearbooks, clothes, etc I get a phone call. I am asked to pay out for all of these things. Neither daughter is in day care, but when the youngest was I was asked to pay that as well. Mind you this is all in addition to the 906/month I am paying in child support for the two daughters alone.
6 months ago my ex bought a brand new custom built home, she bought a brand new truck a couple of months before that, and works as a hospital unit clerk which pays very poorly despite her Master's Degree.
What exactly is my child suport going to if I am being asked to cover all basic expenses in addition to the CS and is it right and fair? I cannot afford to take her back to court and actually had an attorney tell me it would be a useless waste of what little I have to fight this situation. Yes when it comes to parental rights there is a huge double standard against the father and it doesn't matter what side of the issue he is on, the payee or the payor.
Bill | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:56:19 PM |
I am on the paying side of things, I have a son that I pay CS for and that is a different mess all together, and then my two daughters with my ex wife. I was also ordered to pay spousal support to the ex wife. One entire paycheck a month goes out the door before I ever see a dime of it. Now I do not have a problem paying the CS, however; everytime my daughters need something, shoes, sports fees, equipment, school supplies, gifts for friends bday parties, school yearbooks, clothes, etc I get a phone call. I am asked to pay out for all of these things. Neither daughter is in day care, but when the youngest was I was asked to pay that as well. Mind you this is all in addition to the 906/month I am paying in child support for the two daughters alone.
6 months ago my ex bought a brand new custom built home, she bought a brand new truck a couple of months before that, and works as a hospital unit clerk which pays very poorly despite her Master's Degree.
What exactly is my child suport going to if I am being asked to cover all basic expenses in addition to the CS and is it right and fair? I cannot afford to take her back to court and actually had an attorney tell me it would be a useless waste of what little I have to fight this situation. Yes when it comes to parental rights there is a huge double standard against the father and it doesn't matter what side of the issue he is on, the payee or the payor.
Bill
Why did you get divorced? Was your wife a stay at home mom and is that why you have to pay spousal support?
If you cannot afford to pay for those extras, you should say so. Your ex should learn to budget more wisely. Is her job the best one she could get?
Sorry for all of the questions. :) | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:15:14 PM | Hello mate.
Firstly well done to you.
I've been a stay at home dad since one of my children was 3 months old(have 2) she is now 7yrs old & son is 13. I've also been working P/T as well as caring 4 the children.
In that time the mother went back to work. short story. she played up. split now 4 3 yrs. I've got the children still & she has not paid anything to the children. But if it was on the other foot she would have kicked me out, no children,car or house. About the house. she sold it from under the children & I.
We r now moved & I'm trying my best to bring up my children. Anyway to the single Dads keep caring & loving your children. To the single ladies, Well done as well. It is not just one gender that is the baddy. Just the person they are. But there are alot of great people out there. That is just my opinion. | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/17/2009 11:48:39 PM | The bottom line is it takes two incomes to support children. If my ex had the kids I would be financially supporting that. Period. And any woman should too.
Why are there 4 pages of responses with lots of words? | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:03:54 AM | | Child support goes to the parent that is RAISING that child and has the most custody.Its all about who has the kids and who makes the most now adays......There is no double standard anymore..... | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:57:37 PM | I feel ur pain man, I was in the same boat. My ex left me while I was serving in iraq. She had cheated on me and got pregnant.
That being said I was first awarded joint legal custody, my EX had every other weekend visits no child support I just wanted the kids and b rid of her, stupid me I to thought she would willing help....Wrong that went on for almost three years. She met a winner of a guy I.e. He was on parole for drugs. Anyhow, long story short after some other things I went for a modification I was awarded sole physical custody with child support. Mind you I kept records of things the kids needed and made sure I gave my ex copies to show her half she was suppose to pay. It took a bit. But all in all it was worth the time. It has been 3 years I haven't seen a dime yet. But for as long as the kids live she will have that over her head following her everywhere. Of course my ex is what u call a welfare lifer the only thing I could do so far is get her license suspened for owing back child support. Ur ex needs to stop playing kid games and grow up. Oh one more thing u can base child support off of minium wage if she is unemployed. | |
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| Mothers paying child support, am I missing something?
Posted: 6/18/2009 1:26:30 PM | In my opinion its a head game... a guilt trip. She knows full well you could easily get it so she figures if she makes a comment that would call into question your manlihood then you will back down and not push the issue.
When my ex and I were trying to crunch numbers and come up with something reasonable he tried to tell me I was not being reasonable in asking for child supporrt and alimony (I was a sahm at his request for years) because his new gf was not not asking her ex for child support or alimony. His new gf was working at the time so she wouldn't have qualified for alimony... but I disgress.
He was trying to guilt me into giving in to him because he knows I have a thing about standing on my own two feet and he figured if he made it look like his gf was a more giving person I would back down. But it was not about me its about being able to provide for the kids.
So I figure your ex is playing the same game.
Hang in there...ask yourself if you kids would have an improved quality of life if you push for the child support and if the answer is yes...then thats what you have to do and don't worry about what she says. | |
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