| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:37:35 PM |
Staying married is a blend of unconditional love and relationship conditions.
I believe that statement is a contradiction. as was your post..
unconditional mens...NO CONDITIONS
My point is that marriage actually requires More than unconditional love, because the nature of the relationship also requires respect and maturity. I think other posters made this point, too. You can unconditionally love a person who is just not good for you, or not a good person, and you can't stay because of your own safety or your children's, but you don't stop loving them. It's unconditional. You don't stop loving a loved one when they die either, right? | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:15:40 PM |
I don't think unconditional love exist in the real world. Only in fairy tales maybe, but not here on Earth. Everything dealing with "love" has conditions. Love is a condition itself. plagued by rules and laws. If anything exists then it may exist between a human and their dog. My dog has always been my best friend, but that is not including my relatives, who are my human best friends of course. Family is cool.
Precisely. Its always funny to me when people try to make "theoretical" situation/things into real life when in truth and fact its IMPOSSIBLE to work in REAL LIFE situations! Ofcourse "unconditional" does NOT exists..its a MYTH..maybe it exists in the movies and novels, but it doesn't work like that in real life. It's not really hard to understand that. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:24:31 PM |
I've seen no evidence that unconditional love exist - except .......
"Sometimes" parent to child.
thats only because the child may be innocent and is only a child but there are definitely some "conditions" that could change her love for her child when he grows up to..people who say they love someone unconditionally only tell themselves that, maybe to convince themselves that they are caring people..who knows | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:28:00 PM |
personally think that "UNCONDITIONAL love" is fiction, a phrase carelessly tossed about, that really means nothing.
well, not unlike the word "love"..is carelessly used .
"I love ketchup", "I love my Toyota", "I love walking in the rain" etc., etc.
damn to hear some people they have 1000's of things they 'love'..wouldn't make you feel TOO 'special' when they tell you they 'love' you, would it? (#1,001 )
LOL exactly i've tried t tell so many people that..most times when someone says "i love you' to someone they are in a relationship with its often because its the "normal" thing or "common" thing for people to say when they are in a relationship..love is a word that is used carelessly all the time..so to me its whatever i dont even take it to heart so much when people say those things.. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:44:00 PM | It's not only about being a parent, though for many it will be.
I've always preferred to date a man who has been an active, involved father, better yet to a daughter in the mix or had a sister(s) or was raised by a single mother - all seem to make a BIG difference... and instill a special temperance and demeanor.
That said -
get a pet... note who calls to see how you've been when sick/injured... note who offers to help you paint, move, etc... note who pays you back right away when you relunctantly loaned the money, just as they'd said they would... note who offers up whatever you need before you dare to ask... note who you are willing to do all of those things for without question...let the memories of giggling with your bratty siblings return a smile to your face and pause to your heart since the years have since estranged them... feel the pang in the loss of a parent, yet know they forever smile upon you even as you ponder your own mortality... and all that is left to do and be.
Welcome to "unconditional love"... it comes in several shades and sizes. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:58:29 PM | | IMHO, just because a person doesn't have children doesn't mean he/she is unable to love unconditionally or that he/she is selfish or immature. Besides that, there are many people who put all kinds of conditions on their love of their significant other so what is the difference? In many ways we are all selfish to some degree so it doesn't matter if a person has children or not. From my experience, a lot of people do so much for their children out of unconditional love that the child can't do anything for him/herself without mommy or daddy, even when they grow up. True that children straighten out a lot of people who otherwise would be out of control but the rest of us are in control of ourselves and do not need to be fixed. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:29:53 PM | For all of you who said there is no such thing as unconditional love. Seeing is believing! What about the people like this in the last 50 years or so, like Gandai or Mother Theresa. I'm sure that people could come up with more. I think if you just look around you, you might see it all around. Maybe you don't believe that you are capable of having unconditional love but certainly doesn't apply to everyone. I think that we all commit small acts of unconditional love in our lives. We just don't recognize it when we do. It's part of what makes us human beings.
Bob | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:33:46 PM | | Bob there's no way we can really prove that Mother Teresa and Ghandi had "unconditional love"..we only know so much about them..we only know what we see or hear in the media etc..we dont know what they do behind closed doors or what really goes through their minds.. | |
|
jolia
|
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:53:23 PM | Dear Lily,
My two cents.
There are women that are mothers and are uncapable of unconditional love. Same thing with some men that are fathers. I believe it is about each person. I do agree biological parenthood contributes a lot to facilitate a person to show unconditional love but its no guarantee.
In the other hand, you have adoptive parents....they seem to be give unconditional love to their adoptive children.
I think your speical guy is able to love your child regardless is him not being the father. Do not deny him that quality only because he has never fathered a child.
Wish you the best. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:43:01 AM | | Lily, any person who has grown up in a loving family environment should have an understanding of what unconditional love is. However, we live in a world where most people are out for themselves and just by looking at our youth as a generation, one can see this. I have nieces and nephews who never want to be married because they dont feel any one person is worth most/all of their love and attention. Now these same young people dont want children as they feel it is too much time, work and energy. These people would rather live for themselves. So, to me that speaks volumes about this generation. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:51:30 AM | I know that I love my kids, but I can't honestly state that my love
for them is unconditional. Personally I think human nature
in it's present condition is incapable of such a feat.
Love is terribly complex, and almost undefinable. Of course
every ones definition of love is colored by their own personal
value judgments/concepts of morality and perceptions.
Maybe it depends on which school of thought/philosophy one
subscribes to, whether or not unconditional love is real.
Thus far I've only heard of one person who has ever put it into practice. | |
|
Sefra
|
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 1:58:00 AM | Is it possible for a man to love unconditionally without ever having had his own children??? Yes....but that only extends to family...be it his mommmy...or daddddy... or the like.... It can never extend to his spouse/lover/victim, etc. and I'll tell you why...
A man's own flesh and blood is apart of him...kinda like skin...and when and if that piece of skin flares up...it has the potential of sending him into a tailspin...or generating great pleasure...he will never dispose of his own skin...
You, on the other hand, need to prove yourself 24/7 because you are not his skin.
Make sense?
Don't seek unconditonal love...seek unconditional self acceptance even in the case of being permanently imperfect
God bless | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:43:48 AM | A person having been exposed to it, will know it.
Sometimes as evolution would have it some that havent will show it.
Too many people say it and dont show it. For some its more about how they are
seen, how they want to see themselves.
For those that judge others as incapable because they havent met their required conditions
I ponder just how well they know it.
You speak of emotion, do we require the learning of a particular event to feel? Do all events teach the same things to all people? Or is feeling and its depths a quality of humanity allowing any of us the capacity?
Take care where you tread in thinking, it helps shape your actions and the moments that follow in your life. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:01:17 AM | Unconditional love does exist.
If you've loved in that manner - then you know it, you understand it, and you realize that anything less than that is...less than that.
For me, after personally experiencing a love like that, I refuse to accept second best. My love will be that quality, in fact since experiencing that... I tend to require that depth in my relationships on all planes. Friends, work associates, family members.
I think it's about not refusing to lower your standards, it's about truly being a person of honor and merit.
Will Smith and his wife, Jada, have chosen to state to each other, "divorce is NOT an option" they have agreed to take the line that they will NEVER divorce. Ever. It's not an out. It's not do-able, they together refuse.
I agree.
I will never divorce again.
Marriage is entering a partnership with someone who you will NEVER let down. Sure, you may be an azz, or a ****, pms-ing or forgot an anniversary....
But - you're there. You're solid. You have that person's back at all times. Like cops, men in the military. You don't have to worry about being shot or stabbed in the back - that person has you covered - AT ALL TIMES.
Always.
Unconditionally.
Whether they agree with you, dislike your choice, or not.
They're there.
Why? Because - Enough is NEVER enough,
if you love.
Same prinicpal as raising and loving children, unless you're a crappy parent.
Enough is never enough,
You don't bail on your kids.
You don't say - "hey, you kids aren't making me happy, so I'm out of here and going to find some OTHER kids to make a life with"
(Well, some really crappy parents say that...but then, please see another forum about THAT topic!)
Unconditional love means NEVER giving up,
Never giving in,
always accepting, never judging
allowing, tolerating, acknowledging.
It's constant growth with a rock solid foundation.
It's all of everything
and it's as easy as breathing.
Fluid and effortless
when it's really unconditional.
Do I think it relates to whether you've experienced reproduction first hand in your own life?
No. I think that's a shallow statement to make, rude, and lacking insight into the hearts and souls of others.
Bearing children, does not deepen your ability to love fully or unconditionally, and it's a superiority complex mentally to imply such a thing.
Childless people are around you, I suggest you be a bit more aware of the life other people live. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:06:21 AM | Unconditional Love is nothing more than a device to use a person's emotions to get your way. Just like regular love is. Best thing to do is to not believe in either one. That way it is the other person's feelings that gets hurt instead of your on. Not trying to be mean here, just in a bad mood today. Honestly, unconditional love exists to those who believe in it. But, not all folks believe. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:14:59 AM |
s it possible for a man to love unconditionally without ever having had his own children??? Yes....but that only extends to family...be it his mommmy...or daddddy... or the like.... It can never extend to his spouse/lover/victim, etc. and I'll tell you why...
A man's own flesh and blood is apart of him...kinda like skin...and when and if that piece of skin flares up...it has the potential of sending him into a tailspin...or generating great pleasure...he will never dispose of his own skin...
You, on the other hand, need to prove yourself 24/7 because you are not his skin.
So what you are saying indirectly is that , lets say for example someone is adopted or is an adoptive parent, that since there is not that flesh and blood to bind you that you can never love your adoptive family or adoptive children unconditionally because they are not your flesh and blood?
Your theory is full of bull ka ka lady. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:00:30 AM |
A man can have my unconditional love as long as he remains a MAN. Don't need to be my man, my husband, just respect me and love me for who I am and presto... ya got my love.
umm..isnt that a condition?? | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:50:52 AM | Thank you GoneSailinBabe,
for a post that finally made sense to me. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:53:24 AM | | Love in any form is a very evil thing. Why would anyone believe in it anyway. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:33:46 AM | umm..isnt that a condition??
Depends if one is trying to to pick a part a statement.
Why would I find uncondional love for a man I just met and find repulsive,
or know of a man like a co-worker and think he is a twit for example. Thus, there would have to be some "grounds" for me to have unconditional love, not a condition. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:11:04 PM | I have no children of my own but unconditional love, yes. I have two beautiful nephews who I adore as my own children. I can say with my whole heart that I would do anything for these boys. I would do everything in my power to protect them. I have thought many times about the value of life. I would take a bullet or any form of death in their place with no second thoughts. I would lay my own life down to give them one more minute to live. I cannot imagine either of these to wonderful children not being in my life. Undconditional love, yes I love them no matter who they choose to be or what they ever do. They will always be my "kids" and I will do anything for them. These children are the loves of my life. They will always be my first kids.
KISSES
KAT | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:11:19 PM | I have no children of my own but unconditional love, yes. I have two beautiful nephews who I adore as my own children. I can say with my whole heart that I would do anything for these boys. I would do everything in my power to protect them. I have thought many times about the value of life. I would take a bullet or any form of death in their place with no second thoughts. I would lay my own life down to give them one more minute to live. I cannot imagine either of these to wonderful children not being in my life. Undconditional love, yes I love them no matter who they choose to be or what they ever do. They will always be my "kids" and I will do anything for them. These children are the loves of my life. They will always be my first kids.
KISSES
KAT | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:35:20 PM | [My God you are clueless op. I know many people with children who are the most selfish and immature people you would have the misfortune to run into. Having a kid does not automatically make someone selfless and mature. This is why I can't date single parents. You all have weird ideas]
Thats ok MaryFreakinPoppins cause most of us single parents wouldn't date someone so rude and judgemental.Wouldn't want my kids around that kind of attitude.Just because you disagree with something someone said ,is no reason to belittle them or make rude generalizations about single parents.
As to the origional post , I don't believe unconditional love has anything to do with having kids. It may be a way to learn how to love unconditionally but is certainly not a prerequisite. I loved my wife unconditionally long before we had children. That doesn't mean that bad behavior of selfishness etc is acceptable. It just means it doesn't change the fact that you love them. I feel the same love for my kids.
I think red kain said it best "All love is unconditional"
Otherwise its not really love
GoneSailingBabe knows what it means...very well put | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:37:36 PM | I believe everyone was born with the capacity for unconditional love, but i seriously doubt whether many people can (or should) give it to someone other than a blood relative or an adopted child who you consider your own.
Think about it, there are always conditions on your love. Many here have said things like, " I will give my unconditional love IF........" Straight away they have put a condition on their love. Or... "My husband will have my unconditional love IF he is good to me and doesn't cheat" HUH?? Isn't that a condition. Are you still going to love the husband who bashes you every day unconditionally? No? Well it's a condition of your love that he doesn't bash you, or could you still love him if he tortured and murdered somone? If you couldn't, well then there are conditions to your love, and it isn't unconditional.
Unconditional love means you will love a person NO MATTER what he/she does to you or anyone else. Hopefully there aren't too many of us around who are that stupid. | |
|
| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:48:22 PM | Unconditional love is developed between parties who dont know the difference. The best way to tell the difference is saying..."except when"
A puppy shows it till maybe you hit it with a newspaper...then it thinks " I love you except when..." Now you have a condition.
A child shows it until...the first crying fit...then it's "I love you except when I dont get something"
Couples have the advantage of saying "I love you...and I am going to tell you what takes away from that love"
Unconditional...till you find her dancing the horizontal bop with someone else... but then that means you have to be faithful...thats a condition...
Silly concept... | |
|
Home
login 
