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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:49:43 PM | I know what you are getting at here lily, and I don't really think it's an arrogant question'
I tend to think of the term 'unconditional' love as more of something to strive for, or keep your eye on, rather than believing that it's something that just 'exists', We can make great strides towards openness and understanding,..but i don't think there is a human alive who can truly say.."Oh yes, I am capable of total unconditional love". I mean, even Mother Theresa had more than a few human moments where she doubted this 'term' as something truly attainable.
There are always some conditions applicable to Love....and especially relationship love...so I tend to more lean towards love as being a forgiving Love.
I think that perhaps, it may be harder for someone who has never had a child to truly understand the relationship of their SO who has children,. But, in my experience, most people do at least 'get it'.....that it is a separate bond to be respected,
I have three wonderful sons,,,,and yes, it probably 'approaches' unconditional....my ultimate love for them. On the other hand, if they piss me off....or vice versa,we all let each other know that we won't stand for that behavior,
this reply by Brown Eyed Girl actually made most sense to me
>I think t's more important to find out of he has ever been the recipient of unconditional love, as that is how one learns how to give it.<
for often, it seems harder to accept love, than to give love. Well, one thing that helps...me to muddle my way through this life....is to honor this phrase.....try to 'be love'
it works
Kimbo*************************************** | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:57:18 PM | | I thought unconditional love was something that loved ones had for each other like mom, dad. kids, God wife .but found out how love is more of a conditoin for most people .Some people just treat people son or dauter wife/husband mom /dad bad and after time it wears them down.I guess it all depends on the person.. | |
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Posted: 12/6/2008 5:08:07 PM | | I have three children of my own......however i am an auntie to numerous kids and i was a teacher for abot 2 yrs........and yes i loved those children as if they were my own....thats why i had to quit teaching .....i knew stuff about thier llives that i had no control over ....it was hard sometimes | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:12:25 PM | The concept of unconditional love is far more complex than most of us appreciate. It comes from the concept of true conscious awareness, from being connected to the Universal Spirit, God or whatever you want to call the energy force that exists in all our souls.
In unconditional love, you emanate from a place of true knowing that you are one with the Universe, and that you are in fact love itself. Hence, the love you give requires no approval, no recognition. It is pure and simple love.
The reason why we say people who have children have experienced this 'unconditional' love is pretty obvious, although even as parents, we don't always operate from a state of unconditional love.
Others will say the only unconditional love will come from pets and that may be true to a certain extent too. Why? Because animals have no sense of self, they are 'ego-free' hence they love 'unconditionally'. And event that is not always the case. Any dog or cat mistreated enough times will grow wary of human intentions and quickly learn to mistrust humans.
Are we capable of 'unconditional love'? Yes, but it is a life-long journey in my opinion, and should we ever get to the place of true self acceptance, self-love, we then give 100% of ourselves -
Life is a journey, not a destination. And so is 'unconditional love'.
Let's learn to love ourselves as we are, good and bad, the whole package. It will go a long way to paving the way to better stronger companionships, what we all desire in the end.
Peace to all | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:15:15 PM | Human beings have precepts or conditions on love..Most of us do not dont tolerate abuse, lack of hygiene, cheating from the one that we love.. nor should we.... point being is that there are always underlying conditions and expectations which precede investment in loving another person...
it's "conditional love"....
Lily, you ponder if one can know unconditional love if they have never had a child... In juxtaposition I would ponder if one can ever know unconditional love if they have never had a pet...
I was indeed Blessed to know true unconditional love from my beloved dog, Shaka who gifted my life for the 17 years I had with him.....
A pet doesn't care if you "cheat"( bring another pet into the fold), if you stink , are ugly as hell , abusive, moody, selfish etc .. that pet will love worship and adore you and think youre the best thing since sliced bread......
I would like to encounter a human being who can claim the same | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:26:58 PM | | Conditional love is just that love under some degree(s) of “conditions” which must be met and maintained. Is this love? Well again it would be what one is use too and conditioned too. Conditional love is dysfunctional and counterproductive but if one only knows and live under these conditions then that type of love itself becomes the norm and accepted as love. But unconditional love isn’t in fact it’s a acceptance of one whole being as an imperfect creature. Loved only because it exist and for no other reason. Unconditional love forgives but conditional love can’t. Unconditional love gives freely and unselfishly but conditional love can’t. Some say that unconditional love is a myth or doesn’t exist. If that was so I believe none of us would be debating this topic or others as to date. Why? Because mankind would have ended so long ago. Without our learning and ability too love unconditionally as well as our many religious belief systems in place which is how unconditional love is taught from that mankind would have destroy itself eons ago. You see unconditional love allows untold possibilities were conditional love only allow that which must be met and maintained. Mankind is able to feel the desirer of love conditionally or unconditionally which has more to do with choice then the act of love itself. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:31:47 PM |
I think it's more important to find out of he has ever been the recipient of unconditional love, as that is how one learns how to give it.
Being a parent does not mean you know how to love unconditionally.
Amen sister. Too many parents have no clue what loving someone unconditionally is about. What a horrible analogy OP. I'm glad you think you have it to offer and receive, but I'd like to see the quotes you're using as the basis for this thread.
the only unconditional love you get is from your pet
And can I get a Hallelujah?! Having raised bulldogs and other pets all my life, and having no children of my own, I can safely say I know what unconditional love is all about.... from THEM.
Children don't give it after a certain age or specific attacks on their purity. Parents rarely do. There are few humans that are that close to perfection to know what loving unconditionally is all about and can actually offer it. Animals that rely on us for their lives are the only ones that keep coming back, abused or otherwise, with nothing to give but love.
Humans? Nah...... I'm not seein' it OP. | |
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Posted: 12/6/2008 5:49:46 PM | | hi... I think that unconditional love is not the love that you feel towards someone because of his or her actions, I believe it is the level of love to which you yourself are capable of... unconditional love is not romantic love or parental love or friendship love, it is the ability to want the greatest good for someone regardless of their actions... I think that this kind of love is only and always connected to Divine Love... I mean why do some parents beat and abuse their kids... the answer for me is that the connection to The Divine has been lost.... I think that everyone is capable of unconditional love, it is a matter of what we put our time and energy in to.... imagine what a world it would be if unconditional love ruled over the love of money, power or fame.... blessings, warmly Mona | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:56:43 PM |
the only unconditional love you get is from your pet
That reminds me of a Tshirt i saw from the RSPCA. It had a picture of a sitting dog, looking upwards (towards where the wearers face would be) with that trusting loving look in its eyes that only dogs seem to be able to get, and the wording underneath said.. "Faith beyond human comprehension".. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:59:34 PM | Conditional love is dysfunctional and counterproductive but if one only knows and live under these conditions then that type of love itself becomes the norm and accepted as love.
Ok, I stand corrected, we have one here who knows about unconditional love. I will only say...Dude?, you alright? up there? hahaha., You imply conditions as restrictions, when in fact they are about Love itself, and love and appreciation of Self. It's a pop culture term my friend, and I think it is the word condition that is jamming you up here. So, if you are, let's say, an abused wife, and hubby is coming home from the pub every night and pistol whipping her because his tv dinner isn't ready,....the right act is to say,....he can't help the way he is,,,and I unconditionally forgive him,. That's a simple example, there are many.,..but I thought I'd just jump to the quick.
Unconditional love forgives but conditional love can’t. Unconditional love gives freely and unselfishly but conditional love can’t.
Total horseshIt...let's think healthy boundaries here, my friend. Since, as Cathartes has pointed out above, it is an ideal, that would require a lifetime of sincere dedication to reach this exalted state, I must assume that many humans are caught in illusion of thinking that they are 'godlike' and unconditional. When one loves Self.,..and begins to see that we are all One...they will understand that humans are not perfect beings,....and by experiencing some 'conditions' that were unsuitable...they will , if evolving, understand that the only way to being love is through forgiveness,,,,not by magically thinking they have leapfrogged from 'Cretin to godlike.
Some say that unconditional love is a myth or doesn’t exist. If that was so I believe none of us would be debating this topic or others as to date. Why? Because mankind would have ended so long ago. Without our learning and ability too love unconditionally as well as our many religious belief systems in place which is how unconditional love is taught from that mankind would have destroy itself egos ago.
Love is always contained in every human.,...some are more aware of it than others.....Some teachings of Love are actually quite 'skewed'....especially from the two headed snake dragon of religions. More blood has been shed in the name of man leading fellow man to religion , than all the wars of mankind combined,
And,....don't you get cable , or something, where you are....do you honestly think this world is not in total disharmony and on a purely destructive course? Really? For some reason, I have this image in my head of purely innocent men women and children in bloody dismemberment from car bombings...and no, I'm not jumping on Middle East Problems alone.....do people remember the bombings in Belfast , Ireland between the protestant and christian sects many years before,,.....??? oh my....what you are describing here is La La Land Love, dude. Turn the head the other way Love.
The topic of unconditional love is beyond the grasp of most theologians, and only the truly exalted will ever approach it. Love is Love is Love, it lives in us....we are born in it....all we need to remember is to continually tap into that precious area....and that, we teach to ourselves first, and if we are lucky...can model it for a few. These are the best of times....and the worst of times......believe it.
Kimbo | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 6:37:10 PM |
I have heard it many times said, Once a person becomes a parent they tend to see things about life differently. I was wondering, Is it possible for a person to give unconditional love if they have never had children of their own. From my experience when I have dated men that never had children, they seem to be selfish and immature. I happen to love a man that has no children, I have one child. I can only say for myself, I love my child with unconditional love, but wonder is that possible for a person who never had children to understand what that truly means. any feed back would be helpful, and I mean no offense to those who feel I have offended them.
Whelp...here's my two cents, although I might be blasted for this, lol.
OP, NO, I honestly don't believe that unconditional love truly exists, apart from the parent-child bond (and that doesn't just mean the love a parent feels for their child...it can also apply to the love a child feels for their parent(s)) or also for siblings or family. And, as more than a few other posters have already mentioned, also for any pets. If one is strictly speaking of other relationships, especially romantic relationships? Then NO, I don't think unconditional love applies in quite the same way, or is possibly even possible. We might love an S/O with all our hearts but...at some point, deep down, if everyone is being honest with themselves...most likely, some *conditions* always apply. Which isn't right, nor is it wrong. It's just normal, and part of being human.
Now...for your OP, asking if the man you are dating can ever "love your child unconditionally even though he's not a parent himself"? Well, first off, I do take exception to your comment that "any man who doesn't have children himself is too selfish and immature to 'get it' " etcetc. But....taking your original comment at face value...YES, it IS possible to love a child unconditionally, even IF you aren't already a parent.
On the flip side, not having biologically given birth to a child yet myself, but having been a step-mother for the past two years...I would think, while most people, possibly parents or not, are equally capable of loving a child unconditionally (like myself)....I think it would be more interesting to ask actual parents, "would you love *MY* child as unconditionally as you love your *OWN* child?" and maybe see what answer you get to that, as well. I'm just saying.
Maybe the fact that one actually has a child or not themselves already, doesn't really make any difference in the answer you are seeking, is all I am saying? | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:01:39 PM | | When you meet your soul mate you experience unconditional love...it's someone you'd take a bullet for...as you would for your kids...even though I would never marry him for several reasons...however, granted those reasons weren't there...then I probably would :) It's interesting how people try to offer some logic and rational to "unconditional love"...brings back memories of my Emotion Psychology course in its efforts to legitimize the "science" of Psychology...counting ever tear dropped to explain "Emotion"...absurd and not to mention boring as heck...and it wasn't until in that same year I spent a summer with severely abused kids caught in the social system did I truly understand "Emotion"...my point being...until you experience it from whatever shape or form...can you truly understand it...and from my experience...no you do not have to have children to experience it. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:12:34 PM | unconditional love is knowing the good, bad and the ugly, accepting it all and still being able to say I love you.
No one is perfect. We all have good traits and some flaws. I've never had children and find many obnoxious parasites with no redeeming qualities in my mind. Yet their parents love them, are highly bonded and spend much time and energy on them. I'm not so sure these parents see the bad and ugly sides and 'love' an illusory child or if the hormones of bonding simply increase the effect of the good or diminish the perception of the bad and ugly.
the people I truly love, I see the good, bad and the ugly and know that the good far outweighs the rest. I love them as is, no conditions, no illusions. just shared history of laughter, tears, birth, death, joys and sorrows and the trust of knowing that we've been there for each other.
I certainly have my good, bad and ugly aspects and know that the people who say I love you to me, are aware of all and take me as is also.
I don't think unconditional love is all that hard to understand. It's not blind love, but the opposite. The more thoroughly you know someone and still say I love you, the deeper your love is. The only difficult part is finding people with enough good to outweigh the bad and ugly and who find that true of you also and then having enough shared history to know it's real. Respect, trust, affection, these are important components of love.
Bonding isn't quite the same. The stockholm syndrome effect of stress and even significant abuse can create illogical bonding.
I don't know if I'd put the blind bonding of parents in unconditional love category. Animals can bond to offspring for exactly as long as it takes to raise them and then boot them out to bond to the next born.
Sex and cuddling create bonding effects, a rush of adrenaline does also. Once these wear off, if there is a good relationship, respect, trust and affection will be there. if they wear off and all that remains seems annoying, there wasn't much there to begin with.
Love and bonding are not the same thing but easily confused. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 6:44:00 AM | addendum
unconditional love perhaps can best be described as compassion.
when people do the less than delightful things, if we could walk a mile in their shoes, we'd understand what it was that caused this to happen. such understanding isn't truly possible but at times we can have a close imagining that gives us enough of the feel of it to understand that if we were in the same position, we probably would have done the same thing. people always do the best they know how. but we often could use a better knowing of how to do better.
compassion may be the highest form of love. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:10:47 AM | akimmbo,
Ok, I stand corrected, we have one here who knows about unconditional love. I will only say...Dude?, you alright? up there? hahaha., You imply conditions as restrictions, when in fact they are about Love itself, and love and appreciation of Self. It's a pop culture term my friend, and I think it is the word condition that is jamming you up here. So, if you are, let's say, an abused wife, and hubby is coming home from the pub every night and pistol whipping her because his tv dinner isn't ready,....the right act is to say,....he can't help the way he is,,,and I unconditionally forgive him,. That's a simple example, there are many.,..but I thought I'd just jump to the quick.
Well again allow us to look at what conditional love and unconditional love is. Whenever we put “conditions” on anything albeit love or a job or whatever. These condition must be met or we will quit or punish in some personal way. One thing you do in so many posts is to “think” “feel” for others. Stating your opinion is the only correct one. Isn’t that itself a conditional way of interacting? Your example itself with the wife who is physical abuse show me how you think for the abused. If this fictional person does in fact loves this person the abuser unconditionally then forgiving her abuser will allow her to heal from the abuse. It this unconditional love in her that heal her and allow us and her to learn and grow from any type of abuse. Unconditional love allow many possibilities to exist in harmony with one’s self and others. How can conditional love do that for if these “conditions” aren’t met then some course of action must be taken.
Since, as Cathartes has pointed out above, it is an ideal, that would require a lifetime of sincere dedication to reach this exalted state, I must assume that many humans are caught in illusion of thinking that they are 'godlike' and unconditional. When one loves Self.,..and begins to see that we are all One...they will understand that humans are not perfect beings,....and by experiencing some 'conditions' that were unsuitable...they will , if evolving, understand that the only way to being love is through forgiveness,,,,not by magically thinking they have leapfrogged from 'Cretin to godlike.
Please akimmbo whenever you post to me never I mean never use what another poster stated as your “defense” or opinion to agree with what you feel or think. You see akimmbo these are my conditions. Other posters can post i.e. think and feel for themselves and don’t need you or anyone to that that for them. So please...
Love is always contained in every human.,...some are more aware of it than others.....Some teachings of Love are actually quite 'skewed'....especially from the two headed snake dragon of religions. More blood has been shed in the name of man leading fellow man to religion , than all the wars of mankind combined,
Of course one can’t disagree with this statement for it’s the truth. But throwing all religions or at least the ones you want together into one basket is backward and silly. It’s view is black and white. Remember that religion too have conditions as well. Each one teaching what that religion core belief system is and we have a choice to join or not too. But I also believe that each religion has something to teach us insomuch as to what not to do and what can benefit man in that belief. Even the “People temple” and it’s members taught us something and we should never forget that and those that died there in the jungle for what they believed in.
And,....don't you get cable , or something, where you are....do you honestly think this world is not in total disharmony and on a purely destructive course? Really? For some reason, I have this image in my head of purely innocent men women and children in bloody dismemberment from car bombings...and no, I'm not jumping on Middle East Problems alone.....do people remember the bombings in Belfast , Ireland between the protestant and christian sects many years before,,.....??? oh my....what you are describing here is La La Land Love, dude. Turn the head the other way Love.
Not sure what your point here is other then we live in a very dangerous and scary world. But we also live in a world were some people do care and have the ability to love. It’s this love that sustains us and allow us to look into this danger and still hope and dream for a better tomorrow. If this is “La La Land” then yes I am a member of this society and hope you may join me and others like me. Remember that for evil men to be successful all it really take is for good men to do nothing.
The topic of unconditional love is beyond the grasp of most theologians, and only the truly exalted will ever approach it.
Again thinking for other people. You really like to do that don’t you? | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:58:16 AM | Dear Spellbreaker,
well, it seems clear that you don't feel any 'unconditional' love towards me, and that's OK, that's how you feel, I can respect that.
I may have misunderstood your stance, for I thought you were talking about unconditional love as something you practice, not just as a theory
Words are descriptors, and are often very difficult to use to describe how we 'feel'
but, I assure you, I never try to 'think' for others, but, I do feel greatly for all of my brothers and sisters on this planet. Our thinking might be different, yes. ? But, it's really not that far apart that it can't be bridged. IF, someone borrows a little from any thought or feeling that I have tried to describe (through my words, for I don't know how else to describe things), then that's just a serendipitous occurrence, just as I have gotten many 'aha' moments from my brothers and sisters on here. I don't strive to make anyone see anything my way. Where did that come from? Oh, that's judgment, not condition...something else I 'try' very hard not to do,
As far as borrowing , or quoting another poster, well, although you have given me your 'conditions' on that one...whew!, I can't promise that I won't bow to another poster's insight and knowledge, and use it, not as a defense....not at all...out of respect of what I have learned from them in that moment.....for I do believe, that we are all really ONE....and I never want to stop learning from anyone who has something worthwhile to teach.
So, my thanks to you, for you have shown me just how difficult the concept of unconditional love is to fully embrace.
As you see, it can even create very real conflicted actions, even in one who profess to understand it, don't you think?
Just different thoughts and ideas floating around on here, my good man, I don't want you to think in any way that I'm trying to think and feel for you.
and, it's really hard to cover a difficult topic like this in a post. You and I would have to sit down and discuss it for an afternoon or two to give it full light and for our points/counterpoints to be truly felt.
have a great Sunday
Kimbo********************************************* | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:04:36 AM | It was either rune or crazylilting who gave me an important distinction here...
love is unconditional... relationships are conditional. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:35:33 AM | Definition: affection with no limits or conditions; complete love (dictionary.com)
I have been thinking about this after reading some reponses. How on earth could this be possible between two humans. Think about it. No matter WHAT you do I will love you. How is that possible other than the giver simply not caring for anything or anyone else?
With animals it's just different. But to love "someone" unconditionaly. Yikes.
To say you love someone unconditionaly, I don't think you know what you are saying and you can't possibly mean it if you do know what it means.
I'm baffled. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 11:51:31 AM |
It was either rune or crazylilting who gave me an important distinction here...
love is unconditional... relationships are conditional.
Really? hmmm so does this mean love is unconditionally available with no relationships? Then why its so hard for many people to get/be loved?
I guess lots of men/women would be happy to get rid of relationships and just get the "love" part...unconditionally. Haha....but sounds very theoretical with no practical reality behind it.
Love comes into place (into discussion) because of the instinct of survival and its coded into the genes, like it or not.
A parent would love his(her) child because the survival of the species and its very strong. Is it "your merit"? How much credit is yours in it? There may be some....but the most is not a free choice really. You pretty much are condemned to take care of your child and provide unconditional love. (even though you ask your kid to return it with "good" behaviour).
Also people would try and mate (love again comes into place right?...but a bit different) for survival of the same species.
There is also love of the friends (say male to male and female to female) which also means that will help to survive. A friendship its like an association with another member of your kind which comes into great help when you run into trouble. I am talking about real fiends not....."drinking friends" who would turn their back when you need them. Friends that can and will help you out in a crisis situation. Also its because of the need to do something and act socially (if you are not as much a social person....society looks ugly to you....WHY? Well go and figure.....unconditional, eh?) and may be some charity part in it also...but I don't think that's the engine part of the things.
The engine is the "self" part. Me, for me, mine, myself....etc....and almost always its an interest or some sort of interest behind it.....even if its not that obvious at the first glance......
That's why in many relationships (or even if not in relationship) people ask for manifestations of the love part, they need to know and make sure they are still loved...so where is this "unconditional" coming from?...Why if you don't give attention most likely you end up being told that you are not sensitive , etc, ect, ect?
There is more of course but tons of bla-bla-bla added to it. Philosophical talks to fill up the time and trying to give a human sense (stamp) to it. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/7/2008 12:19:37 PM |
tend to think of the term 'unconditional' love as more of something to strive for, or keep your eye on, rather than believing that it's something that just 'exists', We can make great strides towards openness and understanding,..but i don't think there is a human alive who can truly say.."Oh yes, I am capable of total unconditional love"
Very true. It is idealistic at best. Lovely thought.
In reality? Take a walk down the Broken Hearts forum and see what people do in the name of love.....
I love my kids unconditionally. It's a mother's love.
I can love a man, but, NOT unconditionally. Even marriage vows have conditions. Break them and generally the marriage goes to Hell in a handbag.
I can love a man without being in a marriage to him. There are certain boundaries that I have and expect to keep strong. He breaks them and my love for him is also going to Hell in a handbag.
To fall in love, work on a relationship, have a committment to each other and possible marriage is what I am looking for. For him to honour that committment and work through thick and thin is what I am looking for. Something what those wedding vows state. That is working at keeping your love alive and healthy. But, I don't think it's unconditional.
Male/female relationship love is not like maternal love or love for your blood. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 1:28:24 PM | ^^^^^^^Nicely said Daisypetal, you worded it much better than I..
I'm quite amazed at the amount of people who profess to love their partner unconditionally. Are they really saying there is nothing that person could do to destroy the love they have for them? I find that very hard to believe. | |
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Posted: 12/7/2008 1:32:36 PM | Unconditional love means loving a child no matter what. No matter what the child’s abilities, assets, looks, or personality traits. No matter who the child may remind you of. No matter the history surrounding him. No matter what you expect of him. And, most difficult of all, no matter what his behavior happens to be---no matter how he acts. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you always like his behavior. It means that you always love the child, even when you may detest the behavior.
Unconditional love is an ideal parents want to continually strive for. . . As parents we cannot fully achieve this, but we can love our children most of the time. The closer we come to the ideal, the better parents we will be
we can only give ourselves credit for having tried to attain the wonderful goal of loving them unconditionally.
You may find it helpful to remind yourself of the same things I used to when my kids re growing up
They are children.
They will tend to act like children.
Much childish behavior is unpleasant.
If I do my part as a parent and love them, despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature and give up their childish ways.
If I love them only when they please me (conditional love) and convey my love to them only during those times, they will not feel genuinely loved. This, in turn, will make them feel insecure, damage their self-esteem, and actually prevent them from moving on to better self-control and mature behavior. Therefore, their behavior and its development is my responsibility as much as theirs.
If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves and be comfortable with themselves. They will then be able to control their anxiety and, in turn, their behavior, as they grow into adulthood.
If I love them when they meet my requirements or expectations, they will feel incompetent. They will believe that it is fruitless to do their best because it is never enough. Insecurity and anxiety will plague them and be constant hindrances to their emotional and behavioral growth.
During those years as a struggling parent, for my sake and the sake of my sons, I prayed that my love for my children would be as unconditional as I could make it. The future of my children depended on this foundation. | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 7:48:11 AM |
I love my kids unconditionally. It's a mother's love.
truly "unconditional" love is very rare, if not non-existent.
If your kids turned out to be another Jeffery Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, or Adolf Hitler, you would still love them?
that's what real 'unconditional' love would mean..
it's quite easy to SAY you would, until you are in that place.
just like so many parents SAY they would sacrifice their lives for their childrens'.
in reality I bet a majority would be frozen into inaction if placed in that circumstance..
it's pretty easy to say because it so rarely happens in real life. | |
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Posted: 12/8/2008 11:15:42 AM |
I love my kids unconditionally. It's a mother's love.
Nope, you love these particular kids because they are your kids.
I'm not picking on one poster, I'm just trying to make people see that the minute they apply a personal possessive pronoun to someone or something they love, they are placing conditions on that love.
For instance, a woman can say, "I love my children without bounds and to infinity". That would certainly adequately describe a mother's love. A man could say, "I love my wife with every fibre of my being" and that would tell us that his is the kind of love that creates legends.
But, because they have used the word "my" they have placed conditions on that love.
I know what people are trying to say when they apply the word unconditional to love, but it is yet another example that we are all fairly lazy when it comes to communication. Instead of looking for words that truly describe what we mean, we use buzz words. I'm as guilty as anyone. I've done it several times in this post. | |
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| Unconditional Love
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:39:34 AM | gosh....pazoozoo...
This is what you do? Pick up on a thing like this?
OMG...
You have your work cut out for you, then... fly at 'er. It will keep you busy for the next 30 years.. | |
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