| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 7:25:04 AM | Guys. Don't you get it? It's a joke. Read his profile. He is a troll. This is simply attention getting! Even the name 'Mr. hyde' says that this is just a performance that he puts on!! None of this ever happened. There is no girlfriend. He has a profile on POF that says 'dating'. He has been here for three years. These is not the acts of a guy trying to save his relationship. Remember where you are? A dating site. He is trying to save his rellationship while on a dating site!?! Think about it.
Either ignore him or play along, but don't get angry. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:06:18 AM | canam
many of these post are troll post ..I dont concern myself with the trolls although i too will expose them ...but sometimes the subject mater justifies response...whether the op does or not ...this is why i respond to threads seriously or with humor...even when the op is obviously a troll... I never take any of these jerks seriously
I have found that most guys on the forums under the age of 30 are just trolling ....not so with young women ...guess they are right guys just dont grow up as fast ..and I don't usually generalize ...but facts are facts ...their profiles stick out like a sore thumb
the things i look for in forums are wisdom and humor ...not whining and bragging ...but many of the forumites can project wisdom and humor even in a whining and bragging troll thread | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:11:00 AM | As deerdog pointed out... trolls are trolls and we all find them. But if it were real, I would say....
You cheated, you broke trust, and you did the worst thing a person can do to someone... The relationship is no longer the same by your one act. The only person who can save that relationship is your girlfriend... and truthfully, I'm pretty sure most women wouldn't give you a second chance.
Why on earth would you do that if you realize now you need to save the relationship? | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:21:36 AM | catkin
I'm pretty sure most women wouldn't give you a second chance.
I disagree with this and this is a big slice of the problem
true most women dont think they should give a cheater another chance ...but when faced with it they tend to think with their heart and play the fool ...just my observation | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:23:37 AM | ^^^^^ I said "most" not all.
How is my statement part of the problem? Cheating is a sore subject for both men and women and I'm fairly certain its an issue that most don't want to deal with. Cheating is lying, breaking trust, breaking a foundation for a relationship, emotionally degrading for some, and plain selfish. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:46:24 AM | This is one of those life lessons that no one can help you wih. Your big head now realizes what you had and misses it. You let your little head have the reins and this is what happened. Sometimes you can get a woman to forgive you but she will never forget and it will never be the same. Everybody has times in their lives when they are physically attracted to someone other then their SO. Sometimes that attraction is mutual and the other person lets you know that they are open to a fling. This is where self control and maturity come in. If you are still a male whore then you should never be in a committed relationship. When I get in to a relationship I always sit down and decide (with my big head) if I want the be exclusive or not. If I can't make up my mind I don't get in to the relationship or I at least discuss with my partner wether an open relationship is possible. Why do I do this because I know how much it hurts to have someone you depend on to have your back, break that bond by letting someone else in.
Believe me when I tell you that even if you are entirely undercover with it she will know. In her heart not her head and vice versa. That kind of thing is like sounding the death sentence on your relationship. Maybe not right away but slowly it will lose its strength and die. If she or he finds out it will probably be immediatly if they don't find out then a slow death. Maybe now you will understand that everything effects everything else and it is never good to cheat.
Bob | |
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Pezra
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Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 83 | |
| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:15:56 AM | | No. She deserves way better than you. Whoever she is. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:30:48 AM | | You cheat on your girlfriend and now you want advice? Don't cheat. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:59:41 PM | wow... IDIOT POST ..lol
Chasing the Gragon is an addiction term.. so to say he doesnt use drugs is interesting as only addicts will know that..
Addictions Counsellor.. >>> ME
hahahahah | |
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Sefra
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 86 | |
| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:07:34 AM | | Did she find out? | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:08:55 AM |
Chasing the Gragon
Clueless in Iowa?
Wow. The things we don't know or need to know in Iowa grow every day!
Yike.
Back to bed for me!!!
Y'all kick the trolls.
Personally? I think if you love unconditionally a cheater, can make a mistake and can be forgiven.
Doesn't anyone really believe in forgiveness any more?
jeez. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:13:04 AM | Since I don't know your girlfriend, I can't really answer that question. However perhaps stop doing things that look like you will cheat again, such as having a profile on a dating site stating you are looking for people to date. If it were me, you would have to prove to me that you could be trusted again, that it was a one time thing.
It all comes down to how serious the two of you are about each other, and is this a one time thing that you are truly sorry about or is it something there is a very good chance you will do again. Also don't have any contact at all with this other woman.
Yes of course cheating is always bad, but if the love between two people is strong enough they can get past anything.
Also not just in this thread, but in a lot of them, the idea of quickly moving on to someone else is very common. It seems that we consider each other very disposable. I think it is very sad. People who have only separated a few weeks or months, already involved with someone else. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 3:17:40 AM | | I looked at your profile.. the girl is lucky to be rid of you.. Do her a favor move on. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 4:21:49 AM | 
First off my friend..after reading your profile...it does NOT surprise me that you have gotten tempted and taken the bait..and now await your consequence. My mother (rest her soul) used to say.."When you take the devil out of your pocket to play with.. there is no putting him back". This is your Karma.
Putting religious beliefs aside...
In another thread re: cheating I said that if you're married or with someone, you should NEVER put yourself in a position to where you can cheat. You apparently did this.. and caved in to temptation.
If you truly cared about this girl... you NEVER would have cheated. I personally don't understand how a guy can get hard when he's cheating.. the guilt would certainly prevent me from getting hard if I were a guy..but then I have a conscience.
I don't think you are quite up to the challenges of the ramifications of cheating.
She'll want to know all the details...
She'll likely wonder where you are when you're not with her...
She won't believe anything you say....even if you're telling the truth...
Every move and action (as well as block of time) without her will be scrutinized....and questioned....
If you DO get back..and you DO have sex with her again.. she's likely NOT to enjoy it because she'll be wondering in her head if you're thinking of that other woman.....
Trust is something that is normally free.....however once you breach it... the price is so steep most people can't handle the price...and it destroys the relationship.
I would ask myself (if I were you) if you are up to months and maybe even years of scrutiny...
You will have to live with the guilt of putting a ding in your girl's emotional status. She likely will get over it.. but she likely won't ever be the same... because of your selfish act.
Let this be a lesson...and learn from it.
Don't promise HER you won't do it again.. promise YOURSELF..and then make it happen.
And ask yourself.. are you SORRY?
OR are you Sorry you got caught?
You're young...and there is plenty of time for redemption.. but I doubt it will come from her. .it needs to come from you.
And for the record.. my ex husband cheated... several times. The first of which I forgave him for (but never forgot). He killed that relationship..and a small portion of me... but in the end.. I ended up a much wiser, and stronger person. I know what it's like to go through this.. as hard as I wanted to work through it...it was time consuming and emotionally exhausting. If I had it to do over again.. I would have left that first time.. instead of working it out. That my friend.. is called learning from your mistakes.
Best of luck.. you'll need it! | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:29:33 AM | NOTHING. Leave the girl alone. Cheaters make me sick. She deserves better.  | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:23:45 AM | | You crossed the line and want forgiveness....good luck. Sometimes it's not so much the act of cheating that kills the relationship but everything that comes before and after i.e., the suspicion that the cheater will deny, the emotional distance that is created by the cheater and mostly the palpable feeling that something is wrong. How long was it between the deed and your confession, or did you confess? Did the girlfriend have an inkling and you were found out? So many variables here unknown that created the actual damage. | |
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spkit
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Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 93 | |
| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:07:38 AM | | OP She will never look at you the way she used to. Time for you to move on. If you really cared for her you wound not have dipped in anothers pond. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:41:41 AM | Read the profile, people.
The only thing missing is a bridge for the OP to hide under while lurking for goat-mugging purposes.
Peter Jackson has already cast him in his next epic elfs n' goblins flick.
TROLL. TROLL. TROLL. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:56:37 AM | | look man if she is a good women she will not take you back.once you cross that line there is no coming back.as men we need to get to the point were we listen to the right part of are body.if you really want her back its going to take alot of time,are you willing to go through her not letting you touch her are sleep in the same bed?are her calling you to check up on you?also do not be foolish and start doing things you didnt do befor like buying her all types of crap.she will put up this wall but my guess she still loves you and you are going to have to prove to her your worthy.take her on a picknick,do something she likes to do.do not touch her unless she touches you.if she starts it then stops do not get mad understand because she most likely sees that other women everytime she touches you. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:11:51 AM | GoneSailinBabe:
Personally? I think if you love unconditionally a cheater, can make a mistake and can be forgiven.
Doesn't anyone really believe in forgiveness any more?
jeez.
Sure... I for one can, and have. Hate the deed, love the person? Forgive the person of the deed aka Agape.... no problem.
Just can't continue to share my life at a romantic/intimate trust level with them any longer. The cheater interjected the condition... not, I.
Anyway, had my troll fun here, folks...lol **exiting left** | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:27:05 AM | Once trust is lost in a relationship, there will always be doubt. You tanked the relationship by cheating on her, there is not excuse for it. Your lucky all you got was kicked to the curb We have a oral surgeon that was caught cheating and his wife super glued his hands to his penis while he was sleeping My mom was in the emergency room as a nurse, when they brought the idiot in. I think he will think twice about cheating now. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:37:57 AM |
Ah screw it. Play her! Tell her that you were being emotionally unfullfilled in the relationship. You felt all alone and left out. Tell her that she was emotionally distant.
Tell her that you just needed to feel loved and that you felt shut out from her. you were scared and alone.
use the term 'I felt' alot. Frame it so that it seems like she was somehow not there for you. Don't be angry or agrumentative. Don't make it out to be her fault. Act like your pleading.Make it seem like if she were more giving you would not have had to seek affection somewhere else.
She will cave.
I'm going to hell for this one.
The blame game. Don't do it. Blame keeps you stuck and you will never have an open and honest relationship as long as you cannot take responsibility for yourself and your own behaviour. Admit your mistake, accept the consequences, she may find forgiveness if you are sincere in your asking. Honesty takes courage, but you will have been true to yourself which will give you the freedom to learn about the value of love and hopefully you will not make the same mistake again. | |
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:57:21 AM | is OP even reading any of this?
he is probably in the dark side right now chasing the dragon
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| I cheated
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:11:24 AM | this an easy answer and its simple do not sleep with other women when your with some1,
did you not think about all this before you slept with that woman , all trust is gone if she knows , and personally i don,t blame your if she left you but there is an underlying problem if your sleeping around . you got to fix that you cheated for a reason !
another lil bit of wisdom think with your brain not your**** | |
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